Name: Seán mac Cann, Co. Tyrone
Previously owned (or regularly borrowed): Among others: Vauxhall Chevette 2-door saloon (pre-facelift, with lovely recessed headlamps - very rusty; but fun and with that unexpectedly-elegant "droop snoot" styling); Renault 12 (comfortable, economical and with possibly the world's worst gear change - "stirring old mattresses with a sliver of balsa wood" comes to mind; the amount of corners taken at speed in no gear at all doesn't bear thinking about); Renault 18 TS (competent and somehow forgettable); VW Santana 1.8 petrol (90bhp carb version of the 8V GTi engine; solidly built (light years ahead of its early-80s competitors), best gearing, suspension and handling of any standard road car I've ever driven, better than the poster-boy Golf GTi of its era); Morris Marina van (knackered Post Office cast off; engine had more flat spots than Daytona; the choke wouldn't stay on; you had to hold the gear stick in place with your knee; and it would oversteer standing still, all-round huge fun); Mazda 323 (rusty and forgettable in every way; but light weight, four-square stance and cheap, narrow tyres meant it was great for handbrake turns); Renault Extra diesel van (astonishingly competent ride and handling on back roads, better than many cars); Series 2 Honda Accord (sweet engine, inadequately-cushioned seats and annoying short-travel suspension); Honda scooter (hit more times than a coconut shy); Mk2 Jetta 8v GTi (throttle response between 90 and 110 was instant and exemplary, with chassis composure to match - on real-world back roads, practically un-beatable, as a lot of baffled XR3is, 205s, Twin Cams and Mantas of that era will testify to - the Golf GTi was widely-known, but its Jetta sibling was practically unheard of. You always had the advantage of surprise; and fellow boy-racers did not take kindly to being smoked by a 'pensioner's' Jetta...); Honda CB 500E bike (un-faired training-school cast-off, c. 60hp, no stats bragging rights, but bullet-proof and plenty of real-world fun); Audi C4 100 2.3 (best noise); Audi C5 A6 2.4 6-cyl petrol (with extended-leather interior and auto box, an excellent long-distance commute auto;) VW B4 Passat petrol (horrible gear shift - rubbery and held the revs artificially between shifts - though it was cheap, rode well, economical, quite torquey and sounded surprisingly rorty).
Currently owned: K11 1.3 Micra daily nail (4-2-1 manifold and various intake and suspension bits); K11 1.0 Micra (short-bonnet, no sun-roof, CGA3-swap rally project); Ur S6 20v manual saloon (standard); Mk 1 MX5 (Jenveys); Mk II 16V Golf GTi (standard), 3.2 911 (3.8 bespoke n/a engine and lots of other mods); 3.0 6-cyl diesel A6 quattro saloon family car (Stage 1 Revo).On the shortlist: Morris Minor saloon with discreet upgrades (and a full red period-correct vinyl interior) to make a short-run daily driver; and W124 E320 6-cyl petrol auto estate (drives like nothing else - 'indomitable' is the word that keeps popping into my head when I drive one).
Shed - BMW 5 Series (E39) Touring
Cost: £1,490
Balance: £98,510
Why I chose it: "I'd settle for practicality and reasonable durability at this price. It was a coin-toss between this and an indestructible 1.9 Alhambra; but the E39 5 Series wins for its dynamic bonus, namely a steering poise and transmission silkiness that BMW has never bettered. The 3.0-litre diesel obviously is better; but more than enough in the 2.5 for shedding purposes. Silver suits it; and the estate is a shedding bonus."
Brave Pill - Jaguar XJS V12
Cost: £5,995
Balance: £92,515
Why I chose it: "I could have cast about for a 12-cylinder Merc or Audi; but it felt a little like cheating. Instead, this is a proper brave pill. Pain is guaranteed; the only question is how much. MPG (oh dear). Electrics ditto. There is the usual tip-of-the-iceberg rust on this model. The V12 is both unreliable and hard to access.
"And, as a kid, aesthetically, the XJS was a massive let-down. How could Jaguar follow the svelte E-Type with this over-styled barge? I doubt if George Best would have been seen in one of these, I thought. However, the XJS is one of those cars that, in the looks department, has greatly improved with age. Compared to today's vulgar macho bloaters, the XJS now seems elegant and understated. Age has lent it a slightly raffish charm; and, thanks in part to those beefy sidewalls and that pre-fashion victim ride height, the XJS could teach most of today's juddery horror-shows a thing or two about ride comfort.
"You never know - it could all go swimmingly! The rust might not be structural! Bit of patching up and fettling and you could get years of charm-overload fast weekend wafting for a few grand..."
The one still on sale - VW Caravelle
Cost: £27,445
Balance: £65,070
Why I chose it: "I have three small kids. They adore anything with height and visibility. This is the best real-world, long-haul family battle-bus. The elevated seating position is superb. The visibility, space and seat height create a sense of freedom and in-car sociability that's a world away from the bucket-seat/thick side pillar cocooned atomisation of too many modern saloons. OK, you will only ever bimble in this, but it never seems to matter; and, these days, an ability (at a pinch) to avoid hotels and to picnic away from motorway cafés is a bonus."
Morris Minor
Cost: £7,995
Balance: £57,075
Why I chose it: "My first ever car journey, a day or so old, was in a car very like this one; so, there is that nostalgia factor (the smell of oil and sun-baked vinyl is the closest thing I have to time travel). However, I've always been a sucker for bubble-flanked cars with round headlamps, like original Minis and 911s.
"Despite the gentle styling, the Minor was built like a tank - the bodywork was high quality metal, which helps account for why so many of these old cars survive. Surprisingly good dynamics for its time, bags of classless character (drive one and it'll introduce you to people wherever you go) - and enough room to wear a hat!
"With a few discreet mods, it's an everyday classic. As the late Charles Ware noted: "...its simple reliable technology and structural durability have underpinned its appeal to motorists who are fed up with the increasing complexity of modern motor cars, their inevitable rapid financial depreciation and built in obsolescence.""
Porsche 928
Cost: £12,995
Balance: £44,080
Why I chose it: "Still gorgeous, and, to my eyes, still exotic, after all these years. Many years ago, as a student, I saw one sling-shotting away from the lights in a V8 crescendo; and I've been hooked ever since. Historically, most of the Porsche community views them with considerable suspicion; several very reputable 911 indie guys have warned me off them. Attitudes are softening, and prices are hardening - but they're still sensibly priced compared to all bar 996-series 911s. Various race drivers, including Derek Bell, praised the 928's GT abilities. The manual reportedly is slightly quicker, but no matter. I view the 928 as a GT with potential. I prefer the auto for that role.
"Any Porsche I'd have would be subject to some delusional man-maths - they were such performance icons of my youth that I still do not think of them as venerable old classics. I'd still want them to stomp on the young pretenders; and, to that end, it's worth sending them to the gym. There are a couple of decent independents who can do a little engine, exhaust and ECU work. Given that it's a V8 and given that it's auto, add a turbo as well and then you'd have a serious sleeper."
Caterham 7
Cost: £22,450
Balance: £21,630
Why I chose it: "I've promised myself a Caterham forever. This one has the SV chassis for the pies and 125hp is about right."
Mercedes-Benz (W124) E320
Cost: £11,995
Balance: £9,635
Why I chose it: "This would be the new everyday family car. Nothing drives like this one. The very antithesis of all that dreary "sporty" nonsense that ruins so many modern family and executive cars; and, in consequence, every trip in this will be a pleasure. The best family car in the world? I'd still make that case. Marque specialists prefer the 280 as it's cheaper to work on; but it's hard to resist the extra shove of the 3.2. Good ones are thin on the ground now (this one is a JDM car - all good; but watch the rust-proofing underneath); and, frankly, it's pretty gutting that I'm not buying this one for real."
Mini City
Cost: £4,995
Balance: £4,640
Why I chose it: "A must-have - simply one of the most fun-handling cars ever made. The colour scheme only adds to the period appeal."
Mazda MX-5 NC
Cost: £3,600
Balance: £1,040
Why I chose it: "Have-cake-and-eat-it time with this one. You'll always knock a bit off; and this would be a fun daily drive. Importantly, it's not a Mk1. This means that I wouldn't become overly attached to the damned thing. That in turn means that I might even avoid falling into the upgrading trap; and might even manage to sell it on in due course."
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