So have you ever had a late-night idea, possibly after a bit of alcoholic encouragement, that you reckoned would make your fortune and transform the world? And then realised, in the grey light of a hungover morning, that the market for a tuxedo onesie is likely limited, or that you are a bit short of the funds required to bring that dog-walking drone to market? The BMW 5 Series Gran Turismo has always struck me as likely being the result of a similar flight of fancy, the difference being that BMW actually built it.
For all the excellence of the 5 Series dynasty, it has never been a radical car. The first two versions were only saloons, with a lifestylish Touring estate joining the clan from the E34 onwards. But even now, more than thirty years later the choice of bodystyle for the current 5er remains the same coin toss: boot or box.
The Gran Turismo is the exception to that rule. Also a conspicuous failure. Those two things are almost certainly linked: it turned out that the world hadn’t been waiting for a lumpily styled 5 Series hatchback with serious rear legroom. Yet while potential buyers might have struggled to see much point when the Gran Turismo was new – being sold between 2009 and 2017 – the lack of love has turned it into something of a used bargain. Witness this week’s Brave Pill: a gleaming 2012 GT barely into its second decade, powered by the excellent 4.4-litre twin-turbo V8 engine and potentially yours for just £11,695 without haggling. These are great times we’re living in.
The logic that led to the Gran Turismo was understandable, even if the finished result felt like a bit of a lash-up. When it was launched in 2009, as the first of what we normally think of as the F10 generation of 5 Series to reach the market, the company said it was aimed primarily at the Far East. In markets like China buyers were resisting switching to the SUVs becoming increasingly fashionable in the west, still preferring big saloons – with generous rear legroom indicating the most personal success. The Gran Turismo’s fastback body and XL wheelbase – identical to the 7 Series - gave it stretch-out space in the back but with an overall length barely longer than the 3 Series. It also meant it could be positioned between the regular 5 and the 7 on price.
There were some other novelties. The Gran Turismo got frameless doors and what was effectively a split-opening tailgate. Its seating position was higher than the saloon’s, but still lower than that of an X5. It could also be specced with twin sunroofs which, although some way short of delivering a true upwards panorama, brought plenty of light to the spacious cabin. The idea was that it would be seen as upmarket when compared to the reppy three-box.
That was reflected in the pricing, BMW launching the GT in the UK with a supplement intended to reflect this greater desirability. It was also spared the regular car’s lesser engines, with the choice of petrol powerplants in the UK being a straight choice between two turbocharged options: the six-cylinder 535i and the V8 550i, this making an impressively potent 402hp.
In short, lots of interesting ingredients had gone into the pot, but the result that came out felt a bit bland and sloppy. The Gran Turismo’s tall body and raised roofline made it look slightly SUV-ish, but not in a good way. The rear-three quarters has something of the Toyota Prius about it, which is doubtless not what design boss Adrian van Hooydonk’s team were aiming for. But from the front it just looked like a slightly taller 5-Series; hardly the sort of thing to clear the fast lane.
The GT’s spacious cabin had also come at the expense of luggage space, which felt a little stingy considering how well passengers were catered for, something the novelty of the tailgate’s twin opening modes couldn’t improve. In this, it pretty much copied the design-led compromises of the Vauxhall Signum which had previewed much the same bodyshape five years earlier.
The car-buying public’s reaction to what BMW assured us was a paradigm-shifting segment buster could be summarized as ‘meh’. The GranTurismo had never been intended to be a big seller, but it soon became apparent the risk was that it actually be closer to a non-seller. BMW was soon offering generous incentives to try and shift them, and it was possible to buy a GT for less money than the equivalent saloon version – rendering the whole exercise a bit pointless. When the F10 generation 5-Series was replaced by the G30 in 2017, the next-gen GranTurismo was promoted to become a 6 Series.
But if you are in the market for an early GranTurismo, our Pill makes an excellent case for itself. It has covered just 90,000 miles and the dealer selling it promises a full service history. Life is slightly too short to try and sift standard from optional features in the word salad of the features box, but as a 550i GT M Sport this one would have been well equipped as standard, with the presence on the list of such luxuries as adaptive headlights and soft-close doors suggesting this one is probably close to being fully laden. The database hamsters suggest it would have had an unoptioned list price of £57,710, so it has fallen a long way.
The MOT history shows it had covered just 89,000 miles by the time of the last test in October last year, this coming five days after a fail for an excessively worn balljoint in the anti-roll bar. There have been a few other tyre and suspension advisories over the year, and a fail for excessively worn rubber back in 2018, but there is certainly nothing in the record to put a stout-hearted Pillsman or Pillswoman to flight.
While middle-aged BMWs are generally good at creating bills, and this one features plenty of borkable-tech, the good news is that the N63 V8 is widely regarded to be a sensible choice by the standards of BMW’s sometimes troublesome powerplants from this era. It could certainly be an interesting way to get a final dose of V8 noise and performance, even if you’ll have to be stretched out in the back to experience the GT at its best.
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