It’s that time of year again, the time when we look back on the year that’s just passed, reflect on the 50-odd Sheds of the Week that have appeared on PH over that period, and wonder what we could have done with all the time we’ve wasted reading about them.
For non-regular readers, or the regular ones who like Shed can’t remember much about anything these days, the qualifying criteria for a Shed of the Week are a valid MOT, a maximum price of £2,000, and a presence in the PH Classifieds. As ever, for added excitement our lovely contestants are listed in reverse order. For clarity, they are graded in this listing on the total number of views, not on the number of forum comments made.
Please feel free to insert your own pregnant TV-style pauses between each contestant. You’ll need to put your own jokes in, too, because Shed can’t be bothered. We were hoping he might give us a score out of ten on each car, some fascinating ‘never heard before’ insights and maybe the odd bit of behind-the-scenes gossip, but all he would give us for free was one beery mumble on each car. Sorry about that.
As a final bit of fun, all the cars listed below still had a valid MOT as we went to press in December – apart from one. Let’s see if you can guess which one. Right then, get your bingo dobbers out and your eyes down for a full house of the ten most read-about Sheds of 2024.
You’ll always find a good number of Lexus ISs on sale in the UK, because they were well-built and they last for a long time. Not so commonly spotted among the raft of 2.0 petrols and diesels, however, is the 205hp 250 Sport that Shed found in August. With 131,000 miles and spotless passes for the last two MOT tests it was in predictably excellent nick. Naturally, Shed got the VED rate wrong, saying it was £395 when it was actually £710, and it had cloth seats instead of leather, but posters seemed happy to overlook these quirks in what most of them saw as a good value car for £2,000. ‘Lexus reliability is not a myth,’ said BikeSausage. ‘What you pay in extra VED you will probably get back in not having to repair as much.’
Shed Score: ‘I like velour seats, they give you extra purchase.’
There was genuine surprise at the sight of a £1,995 three-door Mk 5 Golf GTI in SOTW. It had black wheels, which marked it down in the eyes of many, but it also had 200hp, 207lb ft, just 107,000 miles on the clock, and an MOT certificate that was both fresh and clean. It also had red paint, tartan upholstery and a manual gearbox, which was probably a good thing because DSGs have the potential to cost money as they grow old. ‘Incredibly fun to drive and they are absolute weapons on track,’ said Daveco. ‘A customer of mine has had his for close to 20 years – he says he is never getting rid of it.’ In his story Shed said something disparaging about bagpipes which aroused Halmyre’s ire. ‘Disgraceful comment about the bagpipes,’ he/she said. ‘Shed would find a piper’s breath control and expertise in fingering pretty useful when he’s engaging with the postmistress.’
Shed Score: ‘Not sure what Halmyre’s on about there but I do agree with Daveco.’
Alfa Romeos manage to feature in just about every SOTY listing Shed’s done over the years, and the 2024 collection was no different with not one but two entries. In at number eight was this very handsome GT Blackline, a nice spec including Bose audio and Lambo-style seven-hole alloys. With black leather and rich Carbino Black paint our shed looked a picture, though there was some disquiet about the possible need for a new cambelt – and that’s not a quick or cheap job on the 165hp 2.0-litre petrol engine. ‘Had one of these many moons ago… it’s the only car I ever regret selling,’ sighed Evercross. ‘If I was in the market for a shed I’d be like a rat up a drainpipe for this,’ said Cerb4.5lee. ‘Stunning and ruinous,’ said yme402.
Shed Score: ‘Everyone should try an Alfa. You only live once, or half of once in my case.’
Volvo’s XC60 would normally be way outside SOTW’s ‘£2k or less’ purview, but this was no ordinary XC60. It actually looked ordinary, and arguably on the good side of ordinary too until you saw the mileage – 369,000. That made it the leggiest shed in Shed history. Still, it had just one, obviously loving, owner, and it was powered by the 2.4 turbo five-pot that’s one of the best and most reliable diesels on the used market. ‘Ignoring the odometer, this is quite a lot of Volvo loveliness for the money,’ swooned PSB1967. ‘Old school reliable diesel,’ said Bobupanddown. Luckily it didn’t appear to have a sunroof, so it wouldn’t be raining inside like it does in Mrs Shed’s XC60.
Shed Score: ‘Since the missus bought one of these my life has been even more hellish than normal.’
Looked like a Mondeo, was a Mondeo, but went a bit better than a normal Mondeo because this one, a 2.5 T Titanium X, had the 220hp Duratec five-cylinder turbo engine. Actually, even boggo gen-three Mondeos were fine cars, but nobody apart from delighted owners wanted to own up to that. They made Daniel Craig drive one in Casino Royale but his thoughts on the experience remain a mystery. ’Utter madness,’ said Sinisterpenguin. ‘Less than 20mpg achievable, doesn’t look particularly special, big road tax bill, all for less than £2k. I’m in!’ ‘Incredible chassis,’ said Baddie. ‘How refreshing, a SOTW article without any puerile schoolboy humour nor any pathetic comments about back doors or passages’, said Mart4856.
Shed Score: ‘If I see that Mart guy I’ll give him one. Nice car anyway.’
Like Alfas, old Jags just keep on keeping on. This XJ 3.0 Sport was one of the last ‘old shape’ XJs with the X350’s aluminium monocoque which not only made the most of the Duratec V6 but also did a good job of keeping the dreaded word ‘corrosion’ off the MOT reports. When new the car would do 145mph and the 0-60 in seven and a bit seconds. Our Shed was far from new, having done 167,000 miles, but you’d never know that by looking at its glorious blue paint or its oh-so-creamy leather. £2k for a car that cost £44k new: what could possibly go wrong? Somebody in the forum couldn’t resist referencing Arthur Daley, but CM954 was having none of it. ’Does it get any better than that?’ he opined. ‘Big petrol, service regularly, light, good looking, two thousand quid. Ridiculous value.’
Shed Score: ‘Cracking motor. If it wasn’t for Mrs Shed I’d have had that myself.’
Shed won’t be checking this as he’s got better things to do but he thinks this Phaeton V6 TDI might have scored the highest number of SOTW forum comments ever. It was a Shed debut for what many saw as VW’s biggest commercial disaster. Who cared about that though? The Phaeton was an absolute beast, engineered to mightily bestride the autobahns at a potential max speed of 186mph. Not in this shed’s 3.0 diesel spec, obviously, which didn’t even have mega-economy to rescue it – 22mpg on the urban cycle, anyone? – but the first post on the forum from TomSugden summed it up in eight words, those words being ‘that’s a lot of car for the money.’ Gad-Westy went further in just two words, namely ‘bloody magnificent’. Somebody noticed it was up for sale elsewhere at half of PH’s £2k price and with some important missing words included, i.e., ‘non-runner, immobiliser fault’. ‘Maybe it just needs a new keyfob,’ ventured Blackpuddin. Hmm. Maybe, or maybe not…
Shed Score: ‘A potentially great barge but too risky for my money, if I had any.’
Few cars disappointed an expectant public more than the Alfa Brera. It looked amazing but the drive was mediocre at best, ruined by excess flab. That has killed used values sufficiently to bring the Brera into SOTW territory, and comfortably so in the case of this £1,800 Q4 3.2. There was a big V6 engine under the swoopy silver bodywork but it wasn’t a Busso, the holy grail for Alfa hunters, because you really can’t get those for £2k or less. Instead, it had a 260hp JTS motor with a manual box and all-wheel drive. It still wasn’t much of a driver’s car but the private seller’s ad was well-written and honest and the car seemed to be in superb condition with a knockout interior if you liked the combination of dark red and cream. Just such a shame about the massive £735 road tax (again). ‘Just SORN it for a few months over the winter, there is a way to own these cars,’ said SOTW’s resident muse J4CKO. ‘Even though this Brera is perhaps less than the sum of its parts, it’s exotic motoring for nearly nothing,’ said Mouse Rat.
Shed Score: ‘The cabin put me in mind of Mrs Shed’s rhubarb crumble with custard, with the Alfa probably being slightly more edible.’
Just when you thought that Alfa would take SOTY honours for popularity with two out of our top ten cars featured, along came this Jaguar XF to restore parity between Turin and Castle Bromwich. XFs seem to be replacing XJs as standard SOTW Jaguar fare at an alarming rate, values of the more modern cars having been hammered by reliability worries. Sure enough, this 3.0-litre V6 petrol XF had a brightly shining engine management light in its leathery cabin and the theatrically rotating air vents were no longer rotating, theatrically or otherwise. The drive selector was still functioning however, and as we all know a rising knob is always guaranteed to put a smile on the postmistress’s face. The muddy silver paint probably wouldn’t have turned her on though – ‘I’ve seen surgical appliances in more appealing colours than that,’ said Chubbyross – and once again it was a tax killer at £710, but as POIDH said, ‘it’s still a lovely place to sit and waft’.
Shed Score: ‘I like a waft as much as the next man, but I’m not ready to move on from XJs just yet.’
So here it is, merry Christmas, everybody’s having fun – especially (we’re guessing) the bod who bought this supercharged 93,000-mile 2006 Mini Cooper S for £1,795, the price to include a six-month warranty. You’d certainly be wanting breakdown backup if it was a Prince-engined Mini, but this one was a Tritec and as such a safer bet. The run-flat tyres on 17-inch wheels ruined the Cooper’s ride, but as the forum pointed out you could easily sort it by fitting smaller wheels and conventional tyres. Shed has never understood Mini specs so he made no attempt to identify what sort of pack this one had. Gratifyingly for him, even Mini geeks on the forum were struggling with it. ‘Strange spec this,’ said Shappers24. ‘Great fun cars,’ said Ballans. ‘Bought mine as a stopgap and 18 months later I still have it.’ John_1983 beat that. ‘I bought mine new at the end of 2004 and still have it – brilliant little cars.’ For the new owner it could well be a case of look to the future now, it’s only just begun.
Shed Score: ‘Wouldn’t risk a Prince Mini myself but a Tritec one like this is a different matter. A worthy winner.’
So there you have it, a ‘win’ for the littlest shed of the lot. But which one of these ten was the only one to fall out of MOT legality? The Phaeton. Its ticket expired in April, two months after its appearance in SOTW. Hopefully that bullet was dodged by all PHers. Shed, Mrs Shed and the postmistress wish you all happy holidays and a great new year.
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