Shed has been thinking about getting some Artificial Intelligence. Not just because he feels he might be a bit short on Genuine Intelligence, although if he’s being honest that is part of it. It’s more that he sells the odd car, some of them very odd, and he can see AI’s potential to save time in composing adverts.
As you may have noticed from the ads that have recently started to flood the classifieds he’s not the only car dealer to have recognised this. Whether these gen-one AI wofflings are actually any more informative than the old illiterate ones mixing football pundit grammar with mad spelling, random capitalisation, a hatful of exclamation marks and a slew of legal get-out clauses is another thing.
Whatever, if Shed is serious about moving this plan on he thinks he will require a computer update as he can’t find a button for it on his 1985 Amstrad. The flinty-eyed barber in the village reckons he’ll see him right with something called Windows ME. Shed has no idea what that means but he knows he’ll need to get it before he gets left behind in the stampede and the insect overlords take over.
As regular readers will recall from the nice dark blue Jan 2007-registered Audi TT manual that was on here last August, cars powered by the 2.0 turbo TFSI engine can go a bit. We have to use the word ‘can’ there because they can also be troublesome if not properly maintained. That goes for any car of course but Shed feels obliged to mention at this point that the MOT on last year’s TT ran out in November and hasn’t been renewed, possibly explaining its remarkable value. Gah.
This week’s Audi TFSI offering is a B7 A4 Cabrio first registered in late 2006, a couple of months before the TT. In soft top guise with the 197hp/207lb ft motor the manual cab was good for a 0-62mph in the low sevens and a top whack of 148mph. If the website Shed has used for his info is correct when it says that the CO2 emissions are 199g/km, that would amount to an annual UK tax bill of £385. Maybe.
The miles are high at 165,000 but its MOT is not only still valid, the last test in July ’24 was squeaky clean, as was the 2023 one. We see it here in a mucky yard but the vendor has done a pretty good job of scraping most of the ming off the car, revealing surprisingly decent bodywork. These cars were well-built. It looks all right on the inside too apart from what might be bracelet scrapes on the gearshift surround. Whether they’re from a Karen or a Kaleb we’ll never know.
The angle of the rear reg plate is tooth-itchingly jaunty but the hood appears to work. We would have been able to tell if it didn’t because there would have been a different light on the before and after pics, taking into account the time it would have taken to wrench a busted one into place. The switchgear is scabby and most likely gummy to boot but as long as it activates something what’s not to like at £1,595? Apart from quite hard S-Line suspension, dead steering and a few rattles?
Wonderfully, the dealer’s reception building is an actual shed, although that might actually be his mate’s place as it’s got a different name on it. Ah yes, this is what Shed is talking about, proper backyard car selling from the good old days of the mid-20th century but with the exciting 21st century veneer of AI to make you think it’s something better. That’s fine with Shed, a man who can look almost acceptable when he’s wearing his funeral suit. Only he knows the crustiness of what lies beneath.
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