One for the chaps
Discussion
Chap at work sent this to me this morning:
The other day I was in Halfords. A lady comes in and asked for a seven ten cap. We all looked at each other and said, "What's a seven ten cap?"
She said "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one".
"What does it do?"
She said she didn't know, but its always been there.
The assistant gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw a picture. So she draws a circle about three inches in diameter and in the centre she writes 710.
The other day I was in Halfords. A lady comes in and asked for a seven ten cap. We all looked at each other and said, "What's a seven ten cap?"
She said "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one".
"What does it do?"
She said she didn't know, but its always been there.
The assistant gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw a picture. So she draws a circle about three inches in diameter and in the centre she writes 710.
I was asked where the onions were in Sainsbury's the other week by some woman. I was wearing a yellow shirt and brown trousers as I recall. She said, "I'm so sorry, I just saw the glasses and thought... never mind" and wandered off.
Which f**king planet was she on?
I'll make sure I've got my contact lenses in next time I go there.
Which f**king planet was she on?
I'll make sure I've got my contact lenses in next time I go there.
I was at the motorshow a few years a go.. went in a suit as you can get onto the good stands without queueing so much (they think your serious ) and someone asked me on the AC stand if they could get in the Cobra (Superblower) for a photo..
Sure I said.. "no problem, just reach in and unlock the door from the inside.. help yourself"
and wandered off shortly afterwards
) and someone asked me on the AC stand if they could get in the Cobra (Superblower) for a photo.. Sure I said.. "no problem, just reach in and unlock the door from the inside.. help yourself"
and wandered off shortly afterwards
A few of the more recent rants at the General Public have included:
At a bunch of Christians who turned up for the filming of "Songs of Praise" at the marina, trudging up from their coach: "My God's better than yours - I prayed for it to rain and look - all you poor buggers are soaked"
To a cheeky woman who asked if she could look round our house just after we moved in, as the show house was shut: "There's no point - looking at you you're obviously a time waster"
To a boater who's dog had crapped all over our back lawn earlier, proffering said excrement in a tissue: "This came out of the back of your dog. Please dispose of it thoughtfully."
When asked why I was not renewing my policy with Admiral: "Because I'm fed up of talking to Welsh people, and having to repeat myself several times"
I love the public, rudeness without retribution
At a bunch of Christians who turned up for the filming of "Songs of Praise" at the marina, trudging up from their coach: "My God's better than yours - I prayed for it to rain and look - all you poor buggers are soaked"
To a cheeky woman who asked if she could look round our house just after we moved in, as the show house was shut: "There's no point - looking at you you're obviously a time waster"
To a boater who's dog had crapped all over our back lawn earlier, proffering said excrement in a tissue: "This came out of the back of your dog. Please dispose of it thoughtfully."
When asked why I was not renewing my policy with Admiral: "Because I'm fed up of talking to Welsh people, and having to repeat myself several times"
I love the public, rudeness without retribution
quote:ROFLMAO
When asked why I was not renewing my policy with Admiral: "Because I'm fed up of talking to Welsh people, and having to repeat myself several times"
I'm not renewing with them this year & I'm gonna tell them it's because their TV advert makes it look like only morons goto Admiral
quote:
To a boater who's dog had crapped all over our back lawn earlier, proffering said excrement in a tissue: "This came out of the back of your dog. Please dispose of it thoughtfully."
I love the public, rudeness without retribution
Friend of mine lived in a terrace that opened onto the street. A woman had been letting her dog crap on his step every morning for about a week. He waited for her one day and opened the door greeting her with " You are going to take that away with you arn't you?" "Certainly not she replied" So he followed her home in his dressing gown and crapped on her doorstep
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