favourite insults
Discussion
Road rage, don't we hate it? How many times, like me, have you been lost for want of a suitably withering insult?
So what are your faves?
My best isn't very special, but it had a stunning impact at the time.
I was driving sensibly (for a change) down a busy suburban road when an anonymous Nissan/Toyota/Mazda saloon pulled away from the kerb, causing me to take avoiding action. I duly communicated my displeasure to the driver, who screached to a halt and leapt out of the door. I stopped and pointed out my views on his lack of consideration, followed by expected comments on speed of driving. I then accused him of being "a typical Japanese car driver". He went bright red, his face puffed up and I expected him to do a repeat of the evil Chinese guy in Big Trouble in Little China (who blew up and spread green slime everywhere). Instead his wife, who by this time had got out of the passenger door and walked around, grabbed him and told him to calm down, then accused me of making him lose his temper.
I just fell about laughing and walked back to my car. So who has got the ultimate put down for dopy drivers?
So what are your faves?
My best isn't very special, but it had a stunning impact at the time.
I was driving sensibly (for a change) down a busy suburban road when an anonymous Nissan/Toyota/Mazda saloon pulled away from the kerb, causing me to take avoiding action. I duly communicated my displeasure to the driver, who screached to a halt and leapt out of the door. I stopped and pointed out my views on his lack of consideration, followed by expected comments on speed of driving. I then accused him of being "a typical Japanese car driver". He went bright red, his face puffed up and I expected him to do a repeat of the evil Chinese guy in Big Trouble in Little China (who blew up and spread green slime everywhere). Instead his wife, who by this time had got out of the passenger door and walked around, grabbed him and told him to calm down, then accused me of making him lose his temper.
I just fell about laughing and walked back to my car. So who has got the ultimate put down for dopy drivers?
Ah well, if its insults you want then have a look at www.autoinsult.com/ 
I had some fat old berk in a big black mercedes (who obviously believed that road ownership came with the car) start effing and blinding at me for daring to try and pass him down a narrow double parked back street (it was my right of way). As he swore like a guardsman, getting more and more irate, I smiled and was massively over polite, calling the tw@t 'old chap' and 'old bean'. Boy did that get the fokker irritated. He nearly blew a head vein. 
>> Edited by loudpedal on Thursday 18th April 17:35
>> Edited by loudpedal on Thursday 18th April 17:35
I was approaching one of choke things where the road narrows to a single lane. The oncoming traffic had priority, there was a juggernaught coming towards me so naturally I stopped. The lad behind me took exception to this and decided to overtake me and go for the gap. It was really funny becuase the trucker forced this guy over so far that he mounted the pavement with quite a large impact. I gave the trucker a big thumbs up - he was pissing himself.
Any way I get to the next choke (this is not a fast road) and the guy has blocked the road and is waiting for me to let me know his displeasure at what had just happened. I stop he jumps out, he is a greasy 17 year old with his shirt open to his waist showing off his pigeon chest. Oh he also had a large kenwood sticker in the back window of his sierra GLS. I lock the doors and just sit there laughing while he waves his fist at the window threatening me getting redder and redder. So I pick up a pen and paper and write his number down and then pick up the phone to ring the cozzers. At this point he blow his top, went mad threatened to kill me, and jumped into his car. I followed him for a bit - he kept braking hard and pulling on his handbrake to try and scare me.
I have never laughed so much, never reported him though.
Nik
Any way I get to the next choke (this is not a fast road) and the guy has blocked the road and is waiting for me to let me know his displeasure at what had just happened. I stop he jumps out, he is a greasy 17 year old with his shirt open to his waist showing off his pigeon chest. Oh he also had a large kenwood sticker in the back window of his sierra GLS. I lock the doors and just sit there laughing while he waves his fist at the window threatening me getting redder and redder. So I pick up a pen and paper and write his number down and then pick up the phone to ring the cozzers. At this point he blow his top, went mad threatened to kill me, and jumped into his car. I followed him for a bit - he kept braking hard and pulling on his handbrake to try and scare me.
I have never laughed so much, never reported him though.
Nik
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