My first sick day in five years.
Discussion
Mrs Arese-to be and I went for a carvery last night. A really cheap carvery, £7.50 for as much as you could eat. It was average.
I ate it all though, and rolled home feeling full and ready for a night in front of the TV before going to bed and then back to work today.
Only, at about midnight I started with stomach cramps. I felt like I was about to give birth to a set of kitchen knives. Anyway, I tried to ignore it and get to sleep, but it was persistent and at about 3am I had to visit the bathroom to vomit. Sweet Jesus. I can honestly say I've never seen so much sick, and my mouth has never been stretched that far open.
So am I dying? Stomach cramps, sickness and diarrhea. I've been able to drink around 5 pints of water since first vomit, and kept most of it down, but not eaten anything at all today.
I ate it all though, and rolled home feeling full and ready for a night in front of the TV before going to bed and then back to work today.
Only, at about midnight I started with stomach cramps. I felt like I was about to give birth to a set of kitchen knives. Anyway, I tried to ignore it and get to sleep, but it was persistent and at about 3am I had to visit the bathroom to vomit. Sweet Jesus. I can honestly say I've never seen so much sick, and my mouth has never been stretched that far open.
So am I dying? Stomach cramps, sickness and diarrhea. I've been able to drink around 5 pints of water since first vomit, and kept most of it down, but not eaten anything at all today.
Arese said:
DrTre said:
working class said:
Bum Aids
Is there any other kind?If a gayman uses a toilet, inevitably some AIDs will fall off him, onto the toilet. Then, when you use the toilet, the AIDs will get on you.
Hey presto - you have AIDs.
Just watch out for the loo seat.
Nothing like rushing to shout at Hugh again, lifting the lid, placing your head over the top and then that sudden realisation that the seat has just bounced off the back, it's on its way down again and you will not be able to stop it in time...
Nothing like rushing to shout at Hugh again, lifting the lid, placing your head over the top and then that sudden realisation that the seat has just bounced off the back, it's on its way down again and you will not be able to stop it in time...
Edited by Rude-boy on Tuesday 4th May 12:19
Rude-boy said:
Just watch out for the loo seat.
Nothing like rushing to shout at Hugh again, lifting the lid, placing your head over the top and then that sudden realisation that the seat has just bounced off the back, it's on its way down again and you will not be able to stop it in time...
No, No and no.Nothing like rushing to shout at Hugh again, lifting the lid, placing your head over the top and then that sudden realisation that the seat has just bounced off the back, it's on its way down again and you will not be able to stop it in time...
Edited by Rude-boy on Tuesday 4th May 12:19
The worst is when it is coming out of both ends and you've just empty your butt and then need to throw up and get caught in said butt droppings coming back at you.
Jonny671 said:
That sounds about right. My legs were aching this morning too.ProfessorPeach said:
You can catch it off toilets.
If a gayman uses a toilet, inevitably some AIDs will fall off him, onto the toilet. Then, when you use the toilet, the AIDs will get on you.
Hey presto - you have AIDs.
sIf a gayman uses a toilet, inevitably some AIDs will fall off him, onto the toilet. Then, when you use the toilet, the AIDs will get on you.
Hey presto - you have AIDs.
t. I know of at least one gay in work. Wo betide if he's left any in trap 1. 
Rude-boy said:
Just watch out for the loo seat.
Nothing like rushing to shout at Hugh again, lifting the lid, placing your head over the top and then that sudden realisation that the seat has just bounced off the back, it's on its way down again and you will not be able to stop it in time...
Already happened. Nothing like rushing to shout at Hugh again, lifting the lid, placing your head over the top and then that sudden realisation that the seat has just bounced off the back, it's on its way down again and you will not be able to stop it in time...
Edited by Rude-boy on Tuesday 4th May 12:19
Might I add that that particular loo seat has never crashed down before, only this morning when my head was in it.soad said:
Possible salmonella poisoning - contact doctor if stomach cramps are really bad. Not had anyhting like that myself yet but heard of it a few times.
Good luck with it
Cheers Soad. The stomach cramps have eased off a little now. Without being too descriptive, I've just ... well I've just done another massive sprayer and I'm feeling a lot better.Good luck with it
working class said:
Are you sure?
Thats not what i was told yesterday!
It's only gay if you push back, remember?Thats not what i was told yesterday!
Edited by Arese on Tuesday 4th May 12:25
Best thing to have for this is diarolyte (sp ?). If you do decide to drink this stuff, make sure you buy the non flavoured stuff. Blackcurrant/orange tastes disgusting and you'll just want to vomit it back up. Don't have any loperamide ( immodium). best just to st it out of your system.
HTH
t it out of your system. HTH
out loud in the middle of a quiet office. ProfessorPeach said:
Arese said:
DrTre said:
working class said:
Bum Aids
Is there any other kind?If a gayman uses a toilet, inevitably some AIDs will fall off him, onto the toilet. Then, when you use the toilet, the AIDs will get on you.
Hey presto - you have AIDs.
Jonny671 said:
I had this a couple of months back. My sweet Lord - I thought I was about to meet my maker.Whilst blazing from both barrels I discovered that its fecking difficult to hurl in between your legs whilst sat on the pan.
The wife just barfed into the bathtub next to the pan when she got it...
If you think I am painting an unpleasant picture - it's nothing to the awful reality I can assure you.
Jonny671 said:
Eurgh, I had that about 2 years ago. Horrible, Horrible experience. Didn't start off too bad though so i thought i was alright to get up at 4am and catch the train to chester for a training course.All went to plan until about 20minutes into the journey, When the watery brown monster reared its ugly head. I spent the rest of the journey there on the loo every 5 or 10 minutes. Got the first train back to manchester, and again spent the entire journey s
tting for queen and country. To any First employee's who may of had the unpleasant job of cleaning that up, I Heartily appologise.On a side note, Has anyone ever experienced throwing up half of a part-digested KFC bargain bucket and a bottle of southern comfort into a toilet? The evening before the train debaccle i did. It was not pretty, and i still cant bring myself to eat chicken. Especially KFC. Probably a good thing, Though.
I Would not wish Norovirus on anyone.
Don said:
Jonny671 said:
I had this a couple of months back. My sweet Lord - I thought I was about to meet my maker.Whilst blazing from both barrels I discovered that its fecking difficult to hurl in between your legs whilst sat on the pan.
The wife just barfed into the bathtub next to the pan when she got it...
If you think I am painting an unpleasant picture - it's nothing to the awful reality I can assure you.
Fortunately, I managed to hang onto conciousness by stuffing paper up my bum and lying down on the toilet floor. Not the most dignified of positions but a million times more dignified than the alternative.
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