Will she think I'm on the rebound?

[MitchT]

OH split-up with me two months ago after 8.5 years. Utterly devastated initially but feeling quite a bit better now. Had some offers but not taken them up as I felt they'd just be random women filling a hole in my life, not people I was with because I specifically liked them for them.

However, I have one female friend who I really like and she's currently single. But here's the problem... She knows my situation, so if I ask her out now she might think I'm just after her on the rebound... But if I leave it long enough to not look like I'm on the rebound she might have been snatched by someone else.

With the saying "there's never a wrong time to do the right thing" in mind, I am wondering... what's the best way to play this?

[WorAl]

just ask her if she will go out with you to places, food, drinks etc etc, dont dive into the relationship thing straight away

[BoRED S2upid]

MitchT said:

random women filling a hole in my life.

Whatever you do get the terminology right first. You are filling the holes surley?. Maybe that was the problem with the 8.5yr relationship her filling the hole.

[Landlord]

Get stonkingly drunk and grope her and if it doesn't work out, get a bit more forceful. If it still doesn't work out - blame the drink. Hey presto, no harm done. Works like a charm everytime.


Seriously, however, I'd suggest you go out as mates under the pretence of both having a bit of spare time. Don't make it a date, just a night out. Don't get drunk either, just in case. Don't take a ring or details of 2-bed starter homes in your area either.

[SpydieNut]

MitchT said:

OH split-up with me two months ago after 8.5 years. Utterly devastated initially but feeling quite a bit better now. Had some offers but not taken them up as I felt they'd just be random women filling a hole in my life, not people I was with because I specifically liked them for them.

However, I have one female friend who I really like and she's currently single. But here's the problem... She knows my situation, so if I ask her out now she might think I'm just after her on the rebound... But if I leave it long enough to not look like I'm on the rebound she might have been snatched by someone else.

With the saying "there's never a wrong time to play this?

there's a certain theme running through your post, but i can't quite put my finger on it

[Penny-lope]

Too soon, and you may ruin your friendship

[maxrider]

WorAl said:

just ask her if she will go out with you to places, food, drinks etc etc, dont dive into the relationship thing straight away

How about something along the lines of you've a spare ticket to motogp/race meet/rugby/football/other as a mate can't now make it, if she's a 'friend' as you say no reason why she shouldn't bite.

[Vixpy1]

Penny-lope said:

Too soon, and you may ruin your friendship

Yes, but its a fun way to do it

[theshrew]

Just go for it just dont talk about the Ex.

Why did you turn the others down ? Got a pulse nail it until you find a good catch. Then still nail em cant go wrong.

[Penny-lope]

Vixpy1 said:

Penny-lope said:

Too soon, and you may ruin your friendship

Yes, but its a fun way to do it

Nah that's what strangers are for

Trust me, been there, got the t-shirt

[MitchT]

Landlord said:

Don't take a ring or details of 2-bed starter homes in your area either.

I hadn’t thought of that, but now you mention it

[Tony*T3]

on the other hand you may get a sympathy BJ. Whats to lose?

[Davel]

Ask her out for a meal and see how it goes.

If you're getting on really well then maybe tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels - not literally of course!

[Mc Lovin]

do it, then think about it later

[Justayellowbadge]

She will almost certainly think you are on the rebound.

But, you can use the situation to your advantage.

She's single, you're single.

fkbuddies?

[trooperiziz]

Doesn't matter, she doesn't want you anyway.

HTH

[Don]

Penny-lope said:

Too soon, and you may ruin your friendship

Yes and no.

It's not too soon to start asking her if she'd like to do stuff. Go places. Days out, drink, dinner. It is significantly too soon to ask for a sympathy shag.

There again it's probably always too soon to ask for one of those.

After that? What will be, will be.

[coolcatmaz]

Davel said:

Ask her out for a meal and see how it goes.

If you're getting on really well then maybe tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels - not literally of course!

I'd maybe opt for the cinema or going to watch some motor racing or something along those lines, keeping it fun, casual and more relaxed. He can always suggest getting some food afterwards then (or she may even suggeest it) if it's gone well and both are hungry.

[The Char]

It's always good to be friends first and go places/ do fun stuff together. Don't fret about the future just let it happen...

[Sheets Tabuer]

Just be a mate, go out on nights out, for meals and maybe days out but don't have a relationship jusat yet.