Foot in mouth/Get your coat moments.
Discussion
After reading the best putdown threads it made me remeber a couple of time i properly put my foot in it, so i decided to see what stories you guys gave.
Before i start this is not the 'best' or anything like that, just the most recent one i remeber that made me feel VERY stupid.
At my local watching our other pool team during their match. Notice one of the girls on the other team and recognise her from somewhere but cant quite put my finger on it.
Her and her VERY attractive friend go out for a cigarette so i decide i'll go for a smoke aswell.
Decide to ask her if I can borrow a lighter so i have her attention (rather than just trying to talk to the back of someones head)
As i hand lighter back i say "im sure i recognise you from somehwere did you go to Penley school?"
her:"no, we used to hang around in wrexham a few years ago"
me: "oh yeah, i remeber now"
her: "Yeah, you once bit me when we were on the bus into chester!!!"
me: "...........oh...........ummm.................."
her mate managed to nearly inhale her cigarette due to laughing and i just stood there looking confused and probably very very red.
Before i start this is not the 'best' or anything like that, just the most recent one i remeber that made me feel VERY stupid.
At my local watching our other pool team during their match. Notice one of the girls on the other team and recognise her from somewhere but cant quite put my finger on it.
Her and her VERY attractive friend go out for a cigarette so i decide i'll go for a smoke aswell.
Decide to ask her if I can borrow a lighter so i have her attention (rather than just trying to talk to the back of someones head)
As i hand lighter back i say "im sure i recognise you from somehwere did you go to Penley school?"
her:"no, we used to hang around in wrexham a few years ago"
me: "oh yeah, i remeber now"
her: "Yeah, you once bit me when we were on the bus into chester!!!"
me: "...........oh...........ummm.................."
her mate managed to nearly inhale her cigarette due to laughing and i just stood there looking confused and probably very very red.
Many years ago a group of us and our wifes/girlfriends were having dinner at a local Vietnamese restaurant. Alcohol had been consumed steadily throughout the meal and when the bill came it was accompanied by the obligatory plate of wafer thin mints.
One of the girlfriends grabbed three and cheekily told us that she would place them in strategic places for her boyfriend to enjoy when they got home! My mate Dave then managed to steal one and said that has now ruined her evening. She replied "never mind I've got jam in the cupboard".
Well I took this to be a euphemism for the wrong week so loudly said "Never mind love, there will be other weekends!" A deathly silence followed as she then said "No I really have got some jam in the cupboard and I'll have to use that instead!"
Cue coat grabbing and exit to escape the glares.
One of the girlfriends grabbed three and cheekily told us that she would place them in strategic places for her boyfriend to enjoy when they got home! My mate Dave then managed to steal one and said that has now ruined her evening. She replied "never mind I've got jam in the cupboard".
Well I took this to be a euphemism for the wrong week so loudly said "Never mind love, there will be other weekends!" A deathly silence followed as she then said "No I really have got some jam in the cupboard and I'll have to use that instead!"
Cue coat grabbing and exit to escape the glares.
another one.
Out with mates about a year ago.
A girl who could put a whale to shame walks in and heads over to the bar.
i say
'f
king hell look at the size of that thing' to which one of my mates replies
'thats my mrs'
now until that point i didnt know he had a mrs so i thought he was joking so i said
'look mate, i know your an ugly but even you can do better than that'
cue her walking over with a drink giving hiim a hug and a kiss than then him glaring at me constantly.
I finished my pint made up some excuse along the lines of 'the TV needs feeding' and left very quickly
Needless to say i dont talk to him much any more
Out with mates about a year ago.
A girl who could put a whale to shame walks in and heads over to the bar.
i say
'f
king hell look at the size of that thing' to which one of my mates replies'thats my mrs'
now until that point i didnt know he had a mrs so i thought he was joking so i said
'look mate, i know your an ugly
but even you can do better than that'cue her walking over with a drink giving hiim a hug and a kiss than then him glaring at me constantly.
I finished my pint made up some excuse along the lines of 'the TV needs feeding' and left very quickly
Needless to say i dont talk to him much any more
I split up with an ex many years ago that lived in the same village. Shortly after, in the village pub with a fair
Few beers on board, in she walks with her mates. Small arguement ensued, the net result being her turning around to say I had a small cock, and didn't last very long. So, I simply say, I would take it as a complement, and a haven't got a small cock, it's just you have a like a bucket.
Not pleasant, but we were a fair bit younger then.
Bloke next to me then says: hang on mate, that's a bit harsh, to which I reply: oh, have you been up her too? I don't think it's a very exclusive club
No. I'm her dad.
Whoops
Few beers on board, in she walks with her mates. Small arguement ensued, the net result being her turning around to say I had a small cock, and didn't last very long. So, I simply say, I would take it as a complement, and a haven't got a small cock, it's just you have a
like a bucket.Not pleasant, but we were a fair bit younger then.
Bloke next to me then says: hang on mate, that's a bit harsh, to which I reply: oh, have you been up her too? I don't think it's a very exclusive club
No. I'm her dad.
Whoops
I felt pretty dumb while picking out my new mobile.
I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
SellerOfSin said:
I felt pretty dumb while picking out my new mobile.
I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
Is QWERTY a text thing I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
Topboy said:
SellerOfSin said:
I felt pretty dumb while picking out my new mobile.
I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
Is QWERTY a text thing I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
SellerOfSin said:
Topboy said:
SellerOfSin said:
I felt pretty dumb while picking out my new mobile.
I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
Is QWERTY a text thing I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
SellerOfSin said:
I felt pretty dumb while picking out my new mobile.
I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
You sound like a right laugh.I was looking at phones with QWERTY keyboards (since I text A LOT) and was typing out a message. I looked at the sales guy and said "where's the T9 function?" I realized what I was asking and couldn't stop finishing the question. I was just like.. "d'uh, right.. full keyboard.. nevermind." The guy laughed.
Emsman said:
I split up with an ex many years ago that lived in the same village. Shortly after, in the village pub with a fair
Few beers on board, in she walks with her mates. Small arguement ensued, the net result being her turning around to say I had a small cock, and didn't last very long. So, I simply say, I would take it as a complement, and a haven't got a small cock, it's just you have a like a bucket.
Not pleasant, but we were a fair bit younger then.
Bloke next to me then says: hang on mate, that's a bit harsh, to which I reply: oh, have you been up her too? I don't think it's a very exclusive club
No. I'm her dad.
Whoops
Hold the phone!Few beers on board, in she walks with her mates. Small arguement ensued, the net result being her turning around to say I had a small cock, and didn't last very long. So, I simply say, I would take it as a complement, and a haven't got a small cock, it's just you have a
like a bucket.Not pleasant, but we were a fair bit younger then.
Bloke next to me then says: hang on mate, that's a bit harsh, to which I reply: oh, have you been up her too? I don't think it's a very exclusive club
No. I'm her dad.
Whoops
We have a winner...
Whoops indeed!
Utterly Clueless said:
After reading the best putdown threads it made me remeber a couple of time i properly put my foot in it, so i decided to see what stories you guys gave.
Before i start this is not the 'best' or anything like that, just the most recent one i remeber that made me feel VERY stupid.
At my local watching our other pool team during their match. Notice one of the girls on the other team and recognise her from somewhere but cant quite put my finger on it.
Her and her VERY attractive friend go out for a cigarette so i decide i'll go for a smoke aswell.
Decide to ask her if I can borrow a lighter so i have her attention (rather than just trying to talk to the back of someones head)
As i hand lighter back i say "im sure i recognise you from somehwere did you go to Penley school?"
her:"no, we used to hang around in wrexham a few years ago"
me: "oh yeah, i remeber now"
her: "Yeah, you once bit me when we were on the bus into chester!!!"
me: "...........oh...........ummm.................."
her mate managed to nearly inhale her cigarette due to laughing and i just stood there looking confused and probably very very red.
Dude, if ever there was an opportunity to capitalise on a situation, this was it Before i start this is not the 'best' or anything like that, just the most recent one i remeber that made me feel VERY stupid.
At my local watching our other pool team during their match. Notice one of the girls on the other team and recognise her from somewhere but cant quite put my finger on it.
Her and her VERY attractive friend go out for a cigarette so i decide i'll go for a smoke aswell.
Decide to ask her if I can borrow a lighter so i have her attention (rather than just trying to talk to the back of someones head)
As i hand lighter back i say "im sure i recognise you from somehwere did you go to Penley school?"
her:"no, we used to hang around in wrexham a few years ago"
me: "oh yeah, i remeber now"
her: "Yeah, you once bit me when we were on the bus into chester!!!"
me: "...........oh...........ummm.................."
her mate managed to nearly inhale her cigarette due to laughing and i just stood there looking confused and probably very very red.
and you wasted it.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff