Cats. Why?

Author
Discussion

andy400

Original Poster:

10,924 posts

246 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
I can't claim to be any kind of expert in feline matters, but what I have learned about cats from reading stuff on here, talking to friends, neighbours and colleagues, and cleaning their faeces off my sodding lawn, is:

  • You have to feed them or they'll starve.
  • They scratch the furniture and other items of value
  • They expect free reign over the entire household and all it's rooms, furniture and belongings.
  • The walk on the kitchen worksurfaces, dining tables and furniture in their outdoor shoes.
  • They'll stick their face in any food you leave out.
  • They're pretty liberal with their turds.
  • They can only be bothered with you when it suits them.
  • If they don't want to be bothered with you, they'll hurt you.
  • They bring dead animals into the house and leave them lying around.
  • They get hair everywhere.
etc

If that was a description of a housemate, you'd kick 'em out. If it was a dog, you'd get some advice and help regarding re-training. But people just put up with it, and keep them as 'pets'. My next door neighbours' cats are even more pathetic than most, and yet they still seem to like them! Crazy.

Explain it to me if you can. To each their own and all that, but why a cat? Or, God forbid, cats plural?

Jasandjules

71,087 posts

244 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
Because.

Famous Graham

26,553 posts

240 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
andy400 said:
  • You have to feed them or they'll starve.
andy400 said:
  • They bring dead animals into the house and leave them lying around.
Errr...

Jasandjules

71,087 posts

244 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
Actually they tend to bring in live animals, and present them with a flourish (I am pretty sure if one of mine could talk she'd be telling me how hard it was for her to catch said bird/mouse and she hopes I like the present), and then sit and watch with interest as you have to catch them and remove them from the house.

Although two of our four don't hunt at all, one thinks it can take on pheasant and deer (only the muntjack though) - it's funny as she charges after the pheasant, who ignore her. Then she stops running and turns it to a walk, and then does the "I wasn't after you anyway" stroll along past the pheasant...

Allanv

3,540 posts

201 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
Well kids will starve if you do not feed then same as dogs or any pet.

Cats bring in dead aminals well that because they are animals and dogs would do the same if they didnt like sticks so much.

The rest well you get the picture.

Big Bob

753 posts

217 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all

andy400

Original Poster:

10,924 posts

246 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
Famous Graham said:
andy400 said:
  • You have to feed them or they'll starve.
andy400 said:
  • They bring dead animals into the house and leave them lying around.
Errr...
No 'Errr'!!!! Never heard of them eating the bloody things they kill or catch. Some may do, I'm sure, but none of the cats of my acquaintance.

Famous Graham

26,553 posts

240 months

Steamer

14,059 posts

228 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
andy400 said:
..... cleaning their faeces off my sodding lawn...

  • You have to feed them or they'll starve.
  • They scratch the furniture and other items of value
  • They expect free reign over the entire household and all it's rooms, furniture and belongings.
  • The walk on the kitchen worksurfaces, dining tables and furniture in their outdoor shoes.
  • They'll stick their face in any food you leave out.
  • They're pretty liberal with their turds.
  • They can only be bothered with you when it suits them.
  • If they don't want to be bothered with you, they'll hurt you.
  • They bring dead animals into the house and leave them lying around.
  • They get hair everywhere.
Have you met my ex?

andy400

Original Poster:

10,924 posts

246 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
Steamer said:
andy400 said:
..... cleaning their faeces off my sodding lawn...

  • You have to feed them or they'll starve.
  • They scratch the furniture and other items of value
  • They expect free reign over the entire household and all it's rooms, furniture and belongings.
  • The walk on the kitchen worksurfaces, dining tables and furniture in their outdoor shoes.
  • They'll stick their face in any food you leave out.
  • They're pretty liberal with their turds.
  • They can only be bothered with you when it suits them.
  • If they don't want to be bothered with you, they'll hurt you.
  • They bring dead animals into the house and leave them lying around.
  • They get hair everywhere.
Have you met my ex?
hehe That made me laugh until I thought about the fact that you've been going out with girls who defecate freely and leave dead animals lying around the place....... confused

carlovers

424 posts

208 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
Couldn't stand cats ,what's the point? users!!1

My partner has a cat Molly guess what i love her don't just like her i love her and it's going to kill me when the dreaded day comes.



For all the funny people out there i may love her but i don't want to f##k her o.k.?

andy400

Original Poster:

10,924 posts

246 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
carlovers said:
i love her but i don't want to f##k her o.k.?
Molly or her pussy?

moleamol

15,887 posts

278 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
They're companionship for people too lazy to own a dog.

andy400

Original Poster:

10,924 posts

246 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
moleamol said:
They're companionship for people too lazy to own a dog.
idea

Trommel

20,152 posts

274 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
Three things to be suspicious of - a man who has a cat, a man who has a beard and a man who doesn't like cars.

Get a dog.

Negative Creep

25,535 posts

242 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
I think they're great. Like owning a dog, except they won't go into a barking frenzy every time someone knocks on the door, you don't have to take them for walks, they don't smell as much and don't pester you all the time. Brilliant!

carlovers

424 posts

208 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
andy400 said:
carlovers said:
i love her but i don't want to f##k her o.k.?
Molly or her pussy?
Don't get it,i said "has a cat Molly " your reposte does not work confused

Edited by carlovers on Friday 13th March 21:06

andy400

Original Poster:

10,924 posts

246 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
carlovers said:
andy400 said:
carlovers said:
i love her but i don't want to f##k her o.k.?
Molly or her pussy?
Don't get it,i said "has a cat Molly " your reposte does not work confused
Correct, I am thick.

Your partner or her pussy?

whistle

Badgerboy

1,793 posts

207 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
Negative Creep said:
I think they're great. Like owning a dog, except they won't go into a barking frenzy every time someone knocks on the door, you don't have to take them for walks, they don't smell as much and don't pester you all the time. Brilliant!
Agreed, in comparison they are very low maintenance dogs that clean up after themselves and don't make much noise.

bluetone

2,047 posts

234 months

Friday 13th March 2009
quotequote all
You have to admire their cheek and arrogance though. They do all this, don't give a sh!t and still they get fed/watered/a roof over their heads/cuddles etc. AND they get to sleep 18 hours a day. They have it sussed really, the wiley little blighters.