Discussion
At 19.15 tonight I had a phone call from my step mother to tell me my father, nearly 80 years old, had fallen over in a supermarket car park and had been taken to hospital on Tuesday.
Tonight is the first time she has been to see him because, according to her, the hospital told her not to "bother".
I have spoken to the hospital and found out the facts, MIL didn't know if he had broken a bone, he has broken his femur (thigh bone) but it has been pinned and he is fine.
I am so mad at my step mother for not telling me the moment she knew he was in hospital and more mad that she didn't bother to visit him until today - if it was my wife I would want to be at her bedside.
So anyone else got a step mother and can me some advice as to how to deal with her? Apart from killing her
Trouble is my Dad thinks she is wonderful and won't have a word said against her.
Tonight is the first time she has been to see him because, according to her, the hospital told her not to "bother".
I have spoken to the hospital and found out the facts, MIL didn't know if he had broken a bone, he has broken his femur (thigh bone) but it has been pinned and he is fine.
I am so mad at my step mother for not telling me the moment she knew he was in hospital and more mad that she didn't bother to visit him until today - if it was my wife I would want to be at her bedside.
So anyone else got a step mother and can me some advice as to how to deal with her? Apart from killing her
Trouble is my Dad thinks she is wonderful and won't have a word said against her.
skeggysteve said:
Zen. said:
How old is she?
About the same age. But if your are 'really' asking is she after his money then YES.
She probably doesn't hear very well either, also at that age when something different happens, you don't take in all the information.
If she makes him happy, why don't you grow up a little and support her, she's probably frightened right now.
Edited by Zen. on Thursday 11th December 21:47
I have a step mother and I had to put up with her antics when my father was dying of cancer! I phoned her up every day for nearly a year when my father died to make sure she was ok. Now my son has cancer she has NOT been in touch for over 10 weeks!!!! Nor has my brother or sister!!!! He is the only grandchild / newphew so hey mate I know how you feel! But the advice I give is to be there for your dad! Be there for him and blow what she says!!!
Zen. said:
skeggysteve said:
Zen. said:
How old is she?
About the same age. But if your are 'really' asking is she after his money then YES.
She probably doesn't hear very well either, also at that age when something different happens, you don't take in all the information.
If she makes him happy, why don't you grow up a little and support her, she's probably frightened right now.
Edited by Zen. on Thursday 11th December 21:47
skeggysteve said:
need4power said:
Is your dad all there? What i mean he's not losing it mentally. Even he must find it weird no one had visited.
He is alright in the brain just not when it comes to her. He would/is more worried about her than himself.Edited by need4power on Thursday 11th December 21:53
Zen. said:
...woman of that age don't like to trouble people or make a fuss, they think the Doctors/Hospitals can do no wrong, and they are in control.
She probably doesn't hear very well either, also at that age when something different happens, you don't take in all the information.
If she makes him happy, why don't you grow up a little and support her, she's probably frightened right now.
Zen,She probably doesn't hear very well either, also at that age when something different happens, you don't take in all the information.
If she makes him happy, why don't you grow up a little and support her, she's probably frightened right now.
I can see where your coming from. I know she doesn't like to make a fuss, that why last time he was in hospital she didn't tell them he suffer from Addisons so they didn't give him the drugs that keep him alive until they 'found' out.
Believe me she is not old and stupid/has mental problems - she is just f
king stupid.I am very grown up and take offense to your comment. All I have done tonight is to try to reassure her because that is what my Father would want me to do and I know if she is doing the 'I can't cope thing' he will worry more.
Well thanks for the support
I would have gone to the hospital, it only an hours drive.
But if I had done my Father would have moaned at me for being there and my step mother would have moaned at me and my Father for me going.
I hope you are never in the same situation.
ETA
Yes they have been together for many years, my memory's not that good at this time of night but I guess 20+ but every time we see them she asks about my mother. Make of that what you will.
I'm of to bed now but will reply to any 'sensible' or constructive posts tomorrow.
I would have gone to the hospital, it only an hours drive.
But if I had done my Father would have moaned at me for being there and my step mother would have moaned at me and my Father for me going.
I hope you are never in the same situation.
ETA
Yes they have been together for many years, my memory's not that good at this time of night but I guess 20+ but every time we see them she asks about my mother. Make of that what you will.
I'm of to bed now but will reply to any 'sensible' or constructive posts tomorrow.
Edited by skeggysteve on Thursday 11th December 22:12
skeggysteve said:
Well thanks for the support
I would have gone to the hospital, it only an hours drive.
But if I had done my Father would have moaned at me for being there and my step mother would have moaned at me and my Father for me going.
I hope you are never in the same situation.
Having spent most of August and much of September by my Fathers hospital bed, I didn't once hear him complain I was there.I would have gone to the hospital, it only an hours drive.
But if I had done my Father would have moaned at me for being there and my step mother would have moaned at me and my Father for me going.
I hope you are never in the same situation.
Now spending a great deal of time by my BiL hospital bed and he's not complaining either, infact we stayed longer tonight as he said there was no need to rush off.
Two seperate NHS hospitals, both having a very flexible open approach to visiting hours.
skeggysteve said:
Well thanks for the support
I would have gone to the hospital, it only an hours drive.
But if I had done my Father would have moaned at me for being there and my step mother would have moaned at me and my Father for me going.
I hope you are never in the same situation.
Steve, I fully understand as I have been there I would have gone to the hospital, it only an hours drive.
But if I had done my Father would have moaned at me for being there and my step mother would have moaned at me and my Father for me going.
I hope you are never in the same situation.
1stly she will moan to you not to come but moan to others that you are not there!
Your father will wonder where you are but your step mother will tell a different story to what she has told you!
You need to be there mate for your own sake! You need to be there for your own mind! You need to be there for yourself!
skeggysteve said:
Well thanks for the support
I would have gone to the hospital, it only an hours drive.
But if I had done my Father would have moaned at me for being there and my step mother would have moaned at me and my Father for me going.
I hope you are never in the same situation.
Dude, parents tell you that sI would have gone to the hospital, it only an hours drive.
But if I had done my Father would have moaned at me for being there and my step mother would have moaned at me and my Father for me going.
I hope you are never in the same situation.
t all the time, but they don't actually mean what they say. The line 'you have your own family to look after, your wasting your time i'm fine'.I was very much on your side now i am starting to question that stance!
maybe thread should be called 'bleedy stepsons'
Edited by need4power on Thursday 11th December 22:18
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