Settling for your OH?
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Discussion

crofty1984

Original Poster:

17,064 posts

233 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
Firstly, apologies for the following post, it does indeed reek of mysoginy. It follows on from a conversation in the pub the other night. Perhaps that's where it should have stayed.

The theory: Yes we all love our other halves etc, etc. but there must be more attractive people out there that could be equally nice. Yes, personality is important.

Notwithstanding people have different tastes, generally, a very attractive 9/10 girl looks equally attractive wether you yourself are some sort of muscle bound mahogany carved god, or a bit, well, oogly-boogly (I love saying that)

EG, if you're say a 5 out of ten looks-wise, punching above your weight, you could maybe net a seven. So if you do, you'd still consider your lady to be less attractive than others. Or do you think "oh well, she's the best I'm going to get"? Or perhaps, when you really do fall for someone, they become your benchmark, so you'd look at Angelina Jolie alongside your 3 eyed wonky boobed girl and think, that poor ugly Jolie, she's not got enough eyes and her boobs aren't nearly lopsided enough?

I'm incredibly not fussy when it comes to a one-off, but I think I swing the opposite way (no, not the gay way) when it comes to a relationship, it's so much time invested in a relationship for it to turn out to be with the wrong person.
This post makes no sense. Well, it's lunch time now. Might have some pasta.

LHDisbest

17,002 posts

216 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
crofty1984 said:
Firstly, apologies for the following post, it does indeed reek of mysoginy. It follows on from a conversation in the pub the other night. Perhaps that's where it should have stayed.

The theory: Yes we all love our other halves etc, etc. but there must be more attractive people out there that could be equally nice. Yes, personality is important.

Notwithstanding people have different tastes, generally, a very attractive 9/10 girl looks equally attractive wether you yourself are some sort of muscle bound mahogany carved god, or a bit, well, oogly-boogly (I love saying that)

EG, if you're say a 5 out of ten looks-wise, punching above your weight, you could maybe net a seven. So if you do, you'd still consider your lady to be less attractive than others. Or do you think "oh well, she's the best I'm going to get"? Or perhaps, when you really do fall for someone, they become your benchmark, so you'd look at Angelina Jolie alongside your 3 eyed wonky boobed girl and think, that poor ugly Jolie, she's not got enough eyes and her boobs aren't nearly lopsided enough?

I'm incredibly not fussy when it comes to a one-off, but I think I swing the opposite way (no, not the gay way) when it comes to a relationship, it's so much time invested in a relationship for it to turn out to be with the wrong person.
This post makes no sense. Well, it's lunch time now. Might have some pasta.
confused

L4URA

543 posts

227 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
crofty1984 said:
Firstly, apologies for the following post, it does indeed reek of mysoginy. It follows on from a conversation in the pub the other night. Perhaps that's where it should have stayed.

The theory: Yes we all love our other halves etc, etc. but there must be more attractive people out there that could be equally nice. Yes, personality is important.

Notwithstanding people have different tastes, generally, a very attractive 9/10 girl looks equally attractive wether you yourself are some sort of muscle bound mahogany carved god, or a bit, well, oogly-boogly (I love saying that)

EG, if you're say a 5 out of ten looks-wise, punching above your weight, you could maybe net a seven. So if you do, you'd still consider your lady to be less attractive than others. Or do you think "oh well, she's the best I'm going to get"? Or perhaps, when you really do fall for someone, they become your benchmark, so you'd look at Angelina Jolie alongside your 3 eyed wonky boobed girl and think, that poor ugly Jolie, she's not got enough eyes and her boobs aren't nearly lopsided enough?

I'm incredibly not fussy when it comes to a one-off, but I think I swing the opposite way (no, not the gay way) when it comes to a relationship, it's so much time invested in a relationship for it to turn out to be with the wrong person.
This post makes no sense. Well, it's lunch time now. Might have some pasta.
Go for a Penne with a creamy sauce.

pmanson

13,388 posts

282 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
L4URA said:
Go for a Penne with a creamy sauce.
hehe

cs02rm0

13,868 posts

220 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
crofty1984 said:
it's so much time invested in a relationship for it to turn out to be with the wrong person.
Part of what makes them the right person is that you can cope with spending that much time with them.

theboyfold

11,469 posts

255 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
L4URA said:
crofty1984 said:
Stuff.
Go for a Penne with a creamy sauce.
But what if he see's a pasta dish with some chicken in it, won't that one be better?! wink

Seriously though, in the early days I was wondering if I was 'settling' for my good lady, but over time we've grown closer and stronger and wouldn't want to change her for the world.

BoRED S2upid

21,047 posts

269 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
L4URA said:
crofty1984 said:
Firstly, apologies for the following post, it does indeed reek of mysoginy. It follows on from a conversation in the pub the other night. Perhaps that's where it should have stayed.

The theory: Yes we all love our other halves etc, etc. but there must be more attractive people out there that could be equally nice. Yes, personality is important.

Notwithstanding people have different tastes, generally, a very attractive 9/10 girl looks equally attractive wether you yourself are some sort of muscle bound mahogany carved god, or a bit, well, oogly-boogly (I love saying that)

EG, if you're say a 5 out of ten looks-wise, punching above your weight, you could maybe net a seven. So if you do, you'd still consider your lady to be less attractive than others. Or do you think "oh well, she's the best I'm going to get"? Or perhaps, when you really do fall for someone, they become your benchmark, so you'd look at Angelina Jolie alongside your 3 eyed wonky boobed girl and think, that poor ugly Jolie, she's not got enough eyes and her boobs aren't nearly lopsided enough?

I'm incredibly not fussy when it comes to a one-off, but I think I swing the opposite way (no, not the gay way) when it comes to a relationship, it's so much time invested in a relationship for it to turn out to be with the wrong person.
This post makes no sense. Well, it's lunch time now. Might have some pasta.
Go for a Penny with a creamy sauce.
EFA.

OJ

14,209 posts

257 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
No I know what he means.

Every 'hot' girlfriend I've been with has been a pain in the arse one way or another.

My current gf is still (IMO) v pretty, but not the best i've been out with. But is by far the best in every other facet of existence. I've been with her nearly a year now and the most I could manage with any of the other psychotic bints was about 4 months.

Mc Lovin

5,588 posts

250 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
Mate you dont just settle on someone because you think they are the best you're going to get biglaugh

When you have met the right person it falls into place, i wont go into detail at the risk of sounding like a bit of a gayer but im sure other people including the double hard bds amongst us will be secretly agreeing.

neil_bolton

17,113 posts

293 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
Heard a great way to approach this conumdrum:

When you look at other woman, you should consider them based on the following: Are they any LESS annoying than who I am with biggrin

bertie

8,569 posts

313 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
L4URA said:
crofty1984 said:
This post makes no sense. Well, it's lunch time now. Might have some pasta.
Go for a Penne with a creamy sauce.
Is that some sort of euphamism?

Never heard it called that before!

BJG1

5,966 posts

241 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
That's exactly what you do, you just don't realise it at the time. When my ex split up with me 2 months ago, I'd have told you she was perfect for me. Now, I'm seeing someone who is a hell of a lot more attractive (and the ex certainly wasn't bad) and is equally as great a person. Luckily for me, there's no way on earth I could do any better than this one, so in that respect, I'm not really settling, because I'm already punching well above my weight.

voyds9

8,490 posts

312 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
I married a woman who could live with me. This elevates her to the state of goddess.

Anyone who can live with me deserves canonisation.

grumbledoak

32,571 posts

262 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
BJG1 said:
That's exactly what you do, you just don't realise it at the time. When my ex split up with me 2 months ago, I'd have told you she was perfect for me. Now, I'm seeing someone who is a hell of a lot more attractive (and the ex certainly wasn't bad) and is equally as great a person. Luckily for me, there's no way on earth I could do any better than this one, so in that respect, I'm not really settling, because I'm already punching well above my weight.
She'll be starting threads like this on www.handbagheads.co.uk, then. frown

ukwill

10,184 posts

236 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all

Imho it's all about how you get on after the initial shagfest has passed. Usually that's after the first year or so. And why so many relationships fail within the first couple of years.

carmonk

7,910 posts

216 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
voyds9 said:
I married a woman who could live with me. This elevates her to the state of goddess.

Anyone who can live with me deserves canonisation.
I'm of the Groucho Marx school of thought. Anyone woman who would marry me isn't worth marrying.

TBH I've been out with a variety of women (not so much in number, but in looks) ranging from a 23-year old millionairess who wouldn't look out of place on the cover of Vogue to a skank journo who had no arse and smelled of fags. Nowadays I don't care so much about looks - or money - but a bit of self-respect is a must. Being over 30 is no excuse to let yourself go, ladies.

Zod

35,295 posts

287 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
As one half a of a couple of 10/10s, I've never had this worry. biggrin

L4URA

543 posts

227 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
carmonk said:
Being over 30 is no excuse to let yourself go, ladies.
Great advice, many thanks for that little nugget of info!laugh

SimonV8ster

13,003 posts

257 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
crofty1984 said:
I'm incredibly not fussy......


confused

crofty1984 said:
This post makes no sense.
biggrin

Conian

8,030 posts

230 months

Tuesday 9th December 2008
quotequote all
There is a lady I shall always refer to as the love of my life, she is very pretty but I have (somehow) dated some very very pretty ladies.

Yet the feels I had/have for her means that she just seems more beautiful to me, and if asked to do a list of top totty I would place her at the top, though anyone else would perhaps rank her lower on looks alone.

Who she is means that being with her was never 'settling for 2nd best looks' as she was just so damned amazing.

Sadly, life and circumstance can get in the way frown