Dear Basingstoke Feckwits
Discussion
Dear Basingstoke Feckwits,
Well you have finally managed to royally piss me off with a combination of feckwittery, blind malice and idiocy and I want you to fecking well stop it right fecking now. If you don't and ignore my peaceful warning I shall be forced to do something awful like decapitate a teddy bear, pan fry kitten livers or roast a puppy for my Christmas dinner. Well, perhaps not puppy roasting, but it will be REALLY BAD I can tell you. So if you want to prevent me dining on crispy roast Fido or having Tiddles with some Fava beans you had better f
king well listen to my demands.
DO NOT FECKING STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF MORRISON'S DOORWAY YOU DAFT OLD COW.
Just do not do it. I know you're an old bat and when you think of something like what you are about to buy in the supermarket your brain is incapable of making you walk at the same time - so stop fking thinking about stuff like that when the result is that you totally block the entranceway to a major supermarket and stop fifty people from getting in and out.
Now - I'm a safe walker - and had left enough room - so I could stop. But the ninny with the fking trolley behind me couldn't and ran over my fking foot. YOUR FAULT.
When I am intergalatic dictator people like you will be forced to wear a harness with REAR VIEW fkING MIRRORS on it and a sign saying "I Stop Suddenly" on your back.
Do it again and I'll set your incontinence pants on fire. See if I don't.
AND YOU bdS VISITING SAINSBURY'S - USE YOUR FECKING INDICATORS. If you don't I have to sit at the fking exit waiting to see if you'll turn left off the roundabout into the store or go straight on. So instead of pulling out and getting on with my journey back home with the bag of frozen kittens I'm planning on having for fking tea I'm sat there wasting time - and DEFROSTED KITTENS are no good to man or fking beast you aholeS.
That's all.
Thank you for your attention.
Well you have finally managed to royally piss me off with a combination of feckwittery, blind malice and idiocy and I want you to fecking well stop it right fecking now. If you don't and ignore my peaceful warning I shall be forced to do something awful like decapitate a teddy bear, pan fry kitten livers or roast a puppy for my Christmas dinner. Well, perhaps not puppy roasting, but it will be REALLY BAD I can tell you. So if you want to prevent me dining on crispy roast Fido or having Tiddles with some Fava beans you had better f
king well listen to my demands.DO NOT FECKING STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF MORRISON'S DOORWAY YOU DAFT OLD COW.
Just do not do it. I know you're an old bat and when you think of something like what you are about to buy in the supermarket your brain is incapable of making you walk at the same time - so stop f
king thinking about stuff like that when the result is that you totally block the entranceway to a major supermarket and stop fifty people from getting in and out.Now - I'm a safe walker - and had left enough room - so I could stop. But the ninny with the f
king trolley behind me couldn't and ran over my fking foot. YOUR FAULT.When I am intergalatic dictator people like you will be forced to wear a harness with REAR VIEW f
kING MIRRORS on it and a sign saying "I Stop Suddenly" on your back.Do it again and I'll set your incontinence pants on fire. See if I don't.
AND YOU b
dS VISITING SAINSBURY'S - USE YOUR FECKING INDICATORS. If you don't I have to sit at the fking exit waiting to see if you'll turn left off the roundabout into the store or go straight on. So instead of pulling out and getting on with my journey back home with the bag of frozen kittens I'm planning on having for fking tea I'm sat there wasting time - and DEFROSTED KITTENS are no good to man or fking beast you aholeS.That's all.
Thank you for your attention.
Don said:
scotal said:
Is anyone else disappointed that someone as erudite and well rounded as Don, who seems to know a fair bit about food and wine shops at Morissons, in Basingstoke?
I was only in there to buy a sandwich for lunch.
I work in Basingstoke (lovely ain't it), but I would not dream of venturing into Basingrad central for any reason. Been there once... wouldn't do it again.
mechsympathy said:
scotal said:
Is anyone else disappointed that someone as erudite and well rounded as Don, who seems to know a fair bit about food and wine shops at Morissons, in Basingstoke?
Particularly as he has to drive past Sainsbury's to get there.
Puggit said:
mechsympathy said:
scotal said:
Is anyone else disappointed that someone as erudite and well rounded as Don, who seems to know a fair bit about food and wine shops at Morissons, in Basingstoke?
Particularly as he has to drive past Sainsbury's to get there.
scotal said:
Puggit said:
mechsympathy said:
scotal said:
Is anyone else disappointed that someone as erudite and well rounded as Don, who seems to know a fair bit about food and wine shops at Morissons, in Basingstoke?
Particularly as he has to drive past Sainsbury's to get there.I share your pain Don. I'm often wondering why some drivers drive the way they do, Basingstoke, or anywhere for that matter. Then it came to me as I walked through a busy town centre the other day - If some people drive in the manner that they walk, it's hardly suprising,
1. they stop unannounced and with no thought of what's behind, causing those following to either nearly tail end them, stopping on ones toes, or accelerate past, veering into other walkers coming towards them.
2. some veer across ones path and then back again as they are distracted by an object in a window, causing mayhem behind them.
3. some walk straight out of a shop, across a line of walkers making others either stop dead or swerve off in other directions.
4. then there are those who stand talking in groups, with pushchairs, blocking walk ways.
5. and poor old Mr & Mrs 'aged', who through no fault of their own are slow walkers and have a congested group behind them trying to pass at an opportune moment.
Put these people in a ton of metal and it's not hard to see why there are accidents. It's bugger all to do with speed, it's basic manoeuvres and common sense.
1. they stop unannounced and with no thought of what's behind, causing those following to either nearly tail end them, stopping on ones toes, or accelerate past, veering into other walkers coming towards them.
2. some veer across ones path and then back again as they are distracted by an object in a window, causing mayhem behind them.
3. some walk straight out of a shop, across a line of walkers making others either stop dead or swerve off in other directions.
4. then there are those who stand talking in groups, with pushchairs, blocking walk ways.
5. and poor old Mr & Mrs 'aged', who through no fault of their own are slow walkers and have a congested group behind them trying to pass at an opportune moment.
Put these people in a ton of metal and it's not hard to see why there are accidents. It's bugger all to do with speed, it's basic manoeuvres and common sense.
Edited by ZR1cliff on Friday 28th November 11:05
, True, if anything it's being bred out of us.ZR1cliff said:
I share your pain Don. I'm often wondering why some drivers drive the way they do, Basingstoke, or anywhere for that matter. Then it came to me as I walked through a busy town centre the other day - If some people drive in the manner that they walk, it's hardly suprising,
1. they stop unannounced and with no thought of what's behind, causing those following to either nearly tail end them, stopping on ones toes, or accelerate past, veering into other walkers coming towards them.
2. some veer across ones path and then back again as they are distracted by an object in a window, causing mayhem behind them.
3. some walk straight out of a shop, across a line of walkers making others eith stop dead or swerve off in other directions.
4. then there are those who stand talking in groups, with pushchairs, blocking walk ways.
5. and poor old Mr & Mrs 'aged', who through no fault of their own are slow walkers and have a congested group behind them trying to pass at an opportune moment.
Put these people in a ton of metal and it's not hard to see why there are accidents. It's bugger all to do with speed, it's basic manoeuvres and common sense.
1. they stop unannounced and with no thought of what's behind, causing those following to either nearly tail end them, stopping on ones toes, or accelerate past, veering into other walkers coming towards them.
2. some veer across ones path and then back again as they are distracted by an object in a window, causing mayhem behind them.
3. some walk straight out of a shop, across a line of walkers making others eith stop dead or swerve off in other directions.
4. then there are those who stand talking in groups, with pushchairs, blocking walk ways.
5. and poor old Mr & Mrs 'aged', who through no fault of their own are slow walkers and have a congested group behind them trying to pass at an opportune moment.
Put these people in a ton of metal and it's not hard to see why there are accidents. It's bugger all to do with speed, it's basic manoeuvres and common sense.
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