Help me create my cult

[rich1231]

Right

I have toyed with the idea of forming a cult to take money for the witless and control people.

I need help coming up with a business plan for it.

So I need a name both for the cult and a new one for me as a mysterious leader.

I need catchy concepts to get celebs on board.

And a convert retention policy, can't forget that... and it has to be sinister as I need to get on those exposes style shows asap to get credibilty.

Ideas please.

Edited by rich1231 on Friday 21st November 10:27

[Geronimo]

I suspect you don't have nearly enough charisma to lead one.

[chunkymonkey71]

Ok, you need some sort of brainwashing plan.

I think it should involve soup. Everyone loves soup!

[10 Pence Short]

Easy. Tell people the party in power is full of sleaze. Tell people things can only get better. Hail yourself as the only way to make the world a better place.

Worked for Labour.

[smutbag]

You need a bangle, everything has bangles these days, a nice non sinister looking pink things...maybe with the words, Strength, or similar on it.

And a secret handshake.

[Landlord]

Geronimo said:

I suspect you don't have nearly enough charisma to lead one.

I don't know who you are but you have to have been here longer than 7 months - because you got me bang on the other day and that comment above is genius.

[BOR]

The Brotherhood of Lehmann ?

[Chris_w666]

You need a mystical and powerful figure to worship.

Maybe Kerry Katona could be the all powerful and your cults mission is to get her into the position of Prime Minister.

Then using Jedi mind tricks you can control her and destroy all civilisation as we know it.

[Spiritual_Beggar]

Do you "sell Sanctuary"?, otherwise you're not a proper Cult

Just because it's Friday, and I'm in a good mood..............let's all stop work, and rock!!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=MQJXYc5Zq6k

[rich1231]

Landlord said:

Geronimo said:

I suspect you don't have nearly enough charisma to lead one.

I don't know who you are but you have to have been here longer than 7 months - because you got me bang on the other day and that comment above is genius.

Have you seen the definition of "Genius"? I wasnt aware it had merged with "cretin" lately.

[Crusoe]

smutbag said:

You need a bangle

to design some weird bent looking forms of transport for you?

[okgo]

There is much to be learned from the 'Stonecutters' episode of The Simpsons.

I suggest you start there.

[drivin_me_nuts]

What is your USP Rich?

[Kaelic]

You need one which will draw in vulnerable young women who want to shag your brains out cause you are the glorious leader....

the cult of the Wang..... Get people to worship your wang, make membership female only but other guys could become bishops of the wang, who worship their own wang and have their own disciples of the wang You will get hundreds of guys signing and so your cult could spread easilly. Only problem would be the females who would worship the wang.... I suppose you could start in a very poor country and attach money to your holy member?

Once this cult started to grow it would be easy to recruit followers.

[The Henk]

BOR said:

The Brotherhood of Lehmann ?

He said he wanted money! That is a rubbish name if that is what you are after... What should he do, convert ex Lehman employees? Sounds like an awful idea.

I reckon he should travel to India to "find his inner peace" or some other hippie , hopefully he will get some great ideas from the vintage hippies that still live there...

[H2DaE]

As a name how about Mathology/Mathologists?

[Marf]

Just label yourself a Level 10 OT and open a SciOrg, kerching!!

[celticpilgrim]

[quote=The Henk][quote=BOR]The Brotherhood of Lehmann ?

pah! I thought it was something to do with that seriously mardy ex-gooner goalie, that involved brainwashing the populus so that they do nothing but permanently sulk and throw their toys out of the pram!!!

Bugger - someone's already started to do that with today's 'Yoof'

[scotal]

You need to grow a moustache Rich, sort of Ming the merciless style to go with your hairstyle. And start wearing the osrt of shirts Swerni takes to DD's.

[Mrs Trackside]

How about changing your name to Colby Revenshaw and calling the cult
Colby Revenshaw's Enlightenment Turning Into Nirvana