Is chivalry dead?
Discussion
I'm 21 years of age. Fact. Every now and then - on a lazy day - I wear a hooded top when visiting the bank or local shops.
There is an alleyway between the main street and the bank, recently I noticed an elderly female pottering about at the other end of the alley, poised to make her way onto the main street. I gave way and waited patiently for her to pass. On passing me she cowered slightly, it was as if she felt intimidated and scared, I didn't have my hood up (I'm not an oaf!) but has my generation really caused such an effect on others around them?
I was brought up knowing right from wrong and learnt the traditional values. I will wine and dine my companion, I will hold the door open for others and always allow ladies first...it goes on I have manner, yes, please and thank you.
Where has this gone? People seem to have lost the ability to do the above and more. When I hold the door open most people appear bemused before saying thank-you. Surely this is the right thing to do? even more shocking is when someone will still barge their way on through.
It just makes me think, is chivalry dead?
There is an alleyway between the main street and the bank, recently I noticed an elderly female pottering about at the other end of the alley, poised to make her way onto the main street. I gave way and waited patiently for her to pass. On passing me she cowered slightly, it was as if she felt intimidated and scared, I didn't have my hood up (I'm not an oaf!) but has my generation really caused such an effect on others around them?
I was brought up knowing right from wrong and learnt the traditional values. I will wine and dine my companion, I will hold the door open for others and always allow ladies first...it goes on I have manner, yes, please and thank you.
Where has this gone? People seem to have lost the ability to do the above and more. When I hold the door open most people appear bemused before saying thank-you. Surely this is the right thing to do? even more shocking is when someone will still barge their way on through.
It just makes me think, is chivalry dead?
sleep envy said:
I see sweeping generalisations are alive and well
My middle name(s)! 
But, seriously, "elderly female". She was probably never 'handy' and is likely all too aware that she isn't physically what she was. The media constantly bombard them (indeed, all of us) with imagery of yoof, hoodies, and violence. Of course she cringed. Perception is reality. It doesn't matter that the OP is a decent bloke, she will never get the chance to find out.
Ask yourself, would she have acted differently if the OP was dressed differently?
Edited by grumbledoak on Tuesday 28th October 00:03
grumbledoak said:
sleep envy said:
I see sweeping generalisations are alive and well
My middle name(s)! But, seriously, "elderly female". She was probably never 'handy' and is likely all too aware that she isn't physically what she was. The media constantly bombard them (indeed, all of us) with imagery of yoof, hoodies, and violence. Of course she cringed. Perception is reality. It doesn't matter that the OP is a decent bloke, she will never get the chance to find out.
Ask yourself, would she have acted differently if the OP was dressed differently?
Edited by grumbledoak on Tuesday 28th October 00:03
Sleep Envy, as for your comments regarding making people aware; its being done. I've noted some will mumble thanks, head down as if I'm made and others just continue on their way.
grumbledoak said:
But, seriously, "elderly female". She was probably never 'handy' and is likely all too aware that she isn't physically what she was. The media constantly bombard them (indeed, all of us) with imagery of yoof, hoodies, and violence. Of course she cringed. Perception is reality. It doesn't matter that the OP is a decent bloke, she will never get the chance to find out.
Ask yourself, would she have acted differently if the OP was dressed differently?
regardless of dress an elderly woman, any woman, on her own will inwardly cringe when walking down an alley on her own Ask yourself, would she have acted differently if the OP was dressed differently?
Edited by sleep envy on Tuesday 28th October 00:10
CosmicMatt said:
Sleep Envy, as for your comments regarding making people aware; its being done. I've noted some will mumble thanks, head down as if I'm made and others just continue on their way.
TBH I'm getting beyond the point of caring anymorean example was on Saturday in a queue to fill the car up with fuel - 5 min wait for people to fill up when a Landcruiser load of pikeys (the proper knacker type with horse s
t in their hair) decided that they didn't have to queuethey drive straight to the front, no one said anything despite me getting out of my car and having a go at them
it seems everyone's happy to get turned over these days
Chivalry is NOT dead, and it will never die.
Don't let the fact that one can no longer expect respect and / or thanks for acting in a proper gentlemanly manner put you off for one second - I don't, and ocasionally you get a right result from it.
re. the hoodie comments, The Sun has a lot to answer for there, but there is a clear, and instantly obvious difference between a lad in a hoodie and a scumbag, you can always tell by the facial expressions that reside within the hood!
Don't let the fact that one can no longer expect respect and / or thanks for acting in a proper gentlemanly manner put you off for one second - I don't, and ocasionally you get a right result from it.
re. the hoodie comments, The Sun has a lot to answer for there, but there is a clear, and instantly obvious difference between a lad in a hoodie and a scumbag, you can always tell by the facial expressions that reside within the hood!
CosmicMatt said:
That is what makes me chuckle most, people see me at work and they come for help/assistance - well the majority! I'm that friendly face they can turn to when needed. Then due to me being of the younger generation people make an automatic assumption.
I presume you wear something smarter for work? People cannot help but react to what they see (or think they see). That's why bank managers (normally) look smart and professional. If you don't like the reception you get in the hoodie, just lose the hoodie- this isn't something you can change.
Mumbled thanks for a held door are a mix of avoiding eye contact and good old-fashioned English social awkwardness. You see it all the time on the Tube. Best to view any attempt at a 'thanks' as a positive thing.
Graham E said:
Chivalry is NOT dead, and it will never die.
Don't let the fact that one can no longer expect respect and / or thanks for acting in a proper gentlemanly manner put you off for one second - I don't, and ocasionally you get a right result from it.
re. the hoodie comments, The Sun has a lot to answer for there, but there is a clear, and instantly obvious difference between a lad in a hoodie and a scumbag, you can always tell by the facial expressions that reside within the hood!
I will always try and act the true gent, as mentioned its what I know and I just find it a shame others aren't being taught/dragged up the same. Don't let the fact that one can no longer expect respect and / or thanks for acting in a proper gentlemanly manner put you off for one second - I don't, and ocasionally you get a right result from it.
re. the hoodie comments, The Sun has a lot to answer for there, but there is a clear, and instantly obvious difference between a lad in a hoodie and a scumbag, you can always tell by the facial expressions that reside within the hood!
With regards to spotting the idiots a mile off, you're right chap. Normally huddled in a group with a can of 'Special Brew' in hand using the obligitary swear words and catchphrases 'brap, brap your mother' or whatever it is they're saying nowadays.
As per Sleep Envys comments, its a shame you're made to feel that way; no one is prepared to stand up to these idiots nowadays, its a damning shame and show a picture of horror ahead for this Country.
I`m the same, young lad, always wear hoodies etc stocky build, not a friendly looker, especially when sporting a beard it would seem, but polite and courteous.
With older people, just make them feel easy, quick smile, greet them, same goes for crossing paths with people at night.
A simple aup, morning etc goes a long way it would seem, especially with younger people.
I`m with you on the manners front, it would seem people dont like thanking you, whether it be when walking about, holding doors open, or letting someone have right of way on the road, I think they are wkers, and inform them of my view.
With older people, just make them feel easy, quick smile, greet them, same goes for crossing paths with people at night.
A simple aup, morning etc goes a long way it would seem, especially with younger people.
I`m with you on the manners front, it would seem people dont like thanking you, whether it be when walking about, holding doors open, or letting someone have right of way on the road, I think they are w
kers, and inform them of my view.
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