Pirate Driving
Author
Discussion

kit80

Original Poster:

4,764 posts

217 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
I had some random thinking on commute home, prompted by a poorly eye, and this post prompted by wine and boredom....if I decided to become an authentic pirate and wear a patch permanently, how would this affect my driving? in a sense of both my eyesight - ie depth perception etc and also legally? License etc..and would it be better to wear the patch on the left or right eye?

schmalex

13,616 posts

236 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
My contact lens buggered up the other day after I accidentally used peroxide instead of saline to clean it yikes

I had to then drive home & couldn't see a thing out of my right eye, so decided to close it & drive like a pirate. I had bugger all depth perception & turned from a normally very safe driver into nothing more than a lethal mobile chicane

Edited by schmalex on Friday 24th October 23:04

eldar

25,291 posts

226 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
You'd need to saw a leg off as well, to be a proper pirate. The big question is which auto?

The merc 7 speeder is quite nice, and popular amongst unidexter buccaneers.

Greedy Banker

42 posts

216 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
Isn't it all Gordon Browns fault? or speed cameras?

EDLT

15,421 posts

236 months

robinhood21

31,144 posts

262 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
I remember driving home from the hospital after having an eye patched up (wood splinter), and found it very difficult gauging the gaps etc.
With practice it does get easier, and would say the one good eye soon compensates for the change in perspective.

Personally, would put the patch on the good eye. Having only one eye 'tis best to protect it. wink

Zeek

882 posts

234 months

Friday 24th October 2008
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Greedy Banker said:
Isn't it all Gordon Browns fault?
Well he does have pirate vision...

stuthemong

2,534 posts

247 months

Friday 24th October 2008
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Mate of mine was born with 1 eye, very good batsman. I think you learn to compensate, but it would be weird the first few times. I'm not sure of the legal position, but I'd guess it should be OK, certainly seems safer than being deaf to me smile

kit80

Original Poster:

4,764 posts

217 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
eldar said:
You'd need to saw a leg off as well, to be a proper pirate. The big question is which auto?

The merc 7 speeder is quite nice, and popular amongst unidexter buccaneers.
aaaarrrrrr rolleyes I forgot about the leg...would have to go auto maybe? :shudder:

and have a parrot in my car, st I have NOT thought this through

I don't think the merc would work either...am thinking more wooden

Hartge210

960 posts

227 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
Surely the parrot on your shoulder would be able to help out with some of the more difficult maneuvers?

kit80

Original Poster:

4,764 posts

217 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
Greedy Banker said:
Isn't it all Gordon Browns fault? or speed cameras?
Yes the speed camera flashing blinded me in one eye, can I sue Gordon Brown?

kit80

Original Poster:

4,764 posts

217 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
Hartge210 said:
Surely the parrot on your shoulder would be able to help out with some of the more difficult maneuvers?
well more than any bloke could.. getmecoat

anonymous-user

84 months

Friday 24th October 2008
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Tom55

704 posts

238 months

Friday 24th October 2008
quotequote all
kit80 said:
I had some random thinking on commute home, prompted by a poorly eye, and this post prompted by wine and boredom....if I decided to become an authentic pirate and wear a patch permanently, how would this affect my driving? in a sense of both my eyesight - ie depth perception etc and also legally? License etc..and would it be better to wear the patch on the left or right eye?
wouldnt recommend it, really buggers your depth perception, but you can work out which is your dominant eye,

with both eyes open, point at soemething, so you can see your finger and the object, close each eye in turn, whichever eye is open when your finger and the object are still lined up is your dominant eye, put a patch on the other eye (if your still not sure go to pick up a glass at arms length, with one eye closed, and attempt a second time with the other eye, check which one is closer to picking up the glass without missing or knocking it over)