What's the best/worst car related fib you've ever heard?

[AdvocatusDiaboli]

We all tell the odd white lie here and there! After all, one can't be seen to have a slower car than one's mate now can we?

It's accepted practice to exaggerate your bhp or other bits to those who aren't any the wiser, but sometimes you hear an absolute clanger.

Something so ridiculous that it is only your manners that prevent you from laughing in the guy's face and then calling him a unconvincing t**t.

I invite your stories! Should make a good read.

[BermyAndy]

A mate who at the age of 22 had a boxster, a car far better than all of ours, yet he still claimed it was a Boxster S. It had been debadged. And he'd had the calipers re-painted black etc etc..

[Negative Creep]

I know someone who thought his all but standard CRX could do 60 in 5 seconds and once left a 750 for dead to 140mph.

On a related note, we did also convince someone we work with that an engine runs backwards when you select reverse.

[10 Pence Short]

A young told me he'd had 160mph in his car on the M6. Not bad for a 1.8 Vectra.

[rhinochopig]

Young chap in the local pub who claimed that his AX GTi, which he had stripped the interior out off and fitted bucket seats, weighed just 450kg. I bet him my house against his car that it didn't. His 17 Y/O girlfriend was telling him to take the bet because he'd told her he'd weighed it and that was its weight. Beeeep, Beeeeep, Beeeep, this liar is reversing...

[Isoproturon1]

10 Pence Short said:

A young told me he'd had 160mph in his car on the M6. Not bad for a 1.8 Vectra.

Was it really a 3.2 and his name was Milton ?

[german tony]

Met a fella once who reckoned his Cortina would top 200 mph. I worried for sometime afterwards what it was about me that made him think I swallow something like that.

[brum]

In pub car park recently:

Betracksuited cockspanner: "Yeah, i waz doing well wikkid powerslides in my corsa last night innit"
Becapped knobend collective: "Sweeet, innit"
Betracksuited cockspanner: "Yeah, an i woz doing proper doughnuts - 300 horsepower innit"
Becapped knobend collective: "Yeah innit"
Betracksuited cockspanner: "When i haxellerates the front of the car comes off the ground innit"

Me: "your car is front wheel drive, 80 horsepower and does none of the things you have described"

Becapped knobend collective: " ha ha ha - you is a liar innit"

Betracksuited cockspanner:

Edited by brum on Monday 29th September 15:36

[Save Ferris]

I work with a guy who reckons his mate had a MK2 Escort V6 Twin Turbo, he reckons he'd
been in it on a trackday at Goodwood where it reached 220mph...

After explaining to him that this was rather unlikely, he backed down and said it might have been nearer to 190mph...ahhh much more realistic then.

[DoctorFan]

Somebody at work told one of our lads (who liked his Honda Civic Type R just a little bit too much) that if he removed his power steering leaving just the mechanical bits and pieces he would gain 50bhp. He went for it and it is now a regular sight to see everyone at work outside pointing and laughing as he tries to park the bloody thing when he gets in to work in the morning.

[MoonMonkey]

Lad at College many years ago claimed his Metro 1.0 city (that belonged to his Mum, didn't have headrests and was hearing aid beige) could easily do 60 mph if not 70 mph in second gear.

[AdvocatusDiaboli]

Not quite sure if this is a lie or just a grand plan that never came to fruition.

I know someone who claimed he was going to buy TVR and turn it around. Apparently it was in the works. That was months ago, and I haven't been able to buy a new Sagaris from the factory yet!

[LuS1fer]

At an American car show, a Corvette C5 owner told me he had bought his Euro-spec Corvette C5 in a dealers in the US "where they couldn't sell it because it was Euro-spec..." (what luck, finding a Euro-spec Corvette in a Texas dealership )and he'd personally imported it and fitted a £500 exhaust(which was actually standard). Flangetwiddler.

[shadowninja]

DoctorFan said:

Somebody at work told one of our lads (who liked his Honda Civic Type R just a little bit too much) that if he removed his power steering leaving just the mechanical bits and pieces he would gain 50bhp. He went for it and it is now a regular sight to see everyone at work outside pointing and laughing as he tries to park the bloody thing when he gets in to work in the morning.

(He'll get used to it. My old TVR didn't have PAS and wasn't hard to park in the tight car park at work; there's a knack to making it easy.)

[Harry Flashman]

Heh. On that note, anything TVR said about the bhp their cars put out. I mean genuinely awful fibs...

[zcacogp]

LuS1fer said:

Flangetwiddler.

Oli.

[rhinochopig]

Slightly off topic. The universal lie, which was/is the top speed of any 50cc/125cc motorbike. Exemplified by the claims of 16Y/O around the country in the 70s/80s as to how fast their FS1E went with the baffles removed

[arun1uk]

A guy who had a 335d and mapped it, and it was faster than anything ever....
(couldnt resist)

But seriously, a friend has a new Astra (diesel thingy) and if you press the Sport button on the dash, it increases power by 30bhp! It also lowers the suspension...apparently.

[8Ace]

There was a lad at school who lived on farm. He had a number of oldish cars knocking about the place and claimed to have replaced the engine in one with a 5.0l Chevy V8. When queried, he said that he didn't need to alter the engine bay, uprate any suspension or driveshaft items and that it was really fast and did 80mph in 3rd gear.

The car?

Mk 3 Ford Escort.

Edited by 8Ace on Monday 29th September 15:33

[Sport Coupe]

A traffic cop once insisted that his T5 could outpace my M3, when I replied that it wasn't a fair comparison in a theoretical situation as he had the advantage of flashing blues lights and a siren, he then told me "No, I mean round a track". I tied to keep a straight face as I had just escaped a speeding ticket and didn't want to offend the guy, but but even his colleague was sniggering and shaking his head at such tripe.