OH Hell!
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Poledriver

Original Poster:

29,601 posts

224 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
Thought the PH massive might like this one! (Hope it's not a repost!)

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The
answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and t he rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

evil

Einion Yrth

19,575 posts

274 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
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Fell out of my cot laughing at that one. This was shortly after my mother had given me the brontosaurus rib to chew on.

Swilly

9,699 posts

304 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
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Run, RUN..... I'll hold off the re-post police whilst you escape !! hehe

Heskey

4,048 posts

223 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
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HAHAH!

bigTee

5,546 posts

251 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
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i remember it being a lot longer than that in the original post!

Poledriver

Original Poster:

29,601 posts

224 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
Oh poop! Sorry, I never saw it before!

So, I'll start

R

Edited by Poledriver on Thursday 18th September 09:50

zcacogp

11,239 posts

274 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
E

james_tigerwoods

16,347 posts

227 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
Excellent - we're being told it's a repost. With a longer original post. But no reference to the original bloody post!

Sorry, but it irritates me when you're slammed for posting a repost, when you might have searched for it already (and possibly not put in the exact details because the original title had a typo or something) - and those shouting the most about a repost not putting in the original link.

I'm having a bad day

chris_w666

22,655 posts

229 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
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Well I found it amusing.

james_tigerwoods

16,347 posts

227 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
chris_w666 said:
Well I found it amusing.
Me too biggrin

ASBO

26,140 posts

244 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
Einion Yrth said:
Fell out of my cot laughing at that one. This was shortly after my mother had given me the brontosaurus rib to chew on.
hehe

spikeyhead

20,542 posts

227 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
chris_w666 said:
Well I found it amusing.
I did too, though that was in the last century when I read it.

bigTee

5,546 posts

251 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
james_tigerwoods said:
Excellent - we're being told it's a repost. With a longer original post. But no reference to the original bloody post!

Sorry, but it irritates me when you're slammed for posting a repost, when you might have searched for it already (and possibly not put in the exact details because the original title had a typo or something) - and those shouting the most about a repost not putting in the original link.

I'm having a bad day
No idea where to look for it!! But is was longer (quite a bit) and very funny.



chill out!!!!!

james_tigerwoods

16,347 posts

227 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
bigTee said:
james_tigerwoods said:
Excellent - we're being told it's a repost. With a longer original post. But no reference to the original bloody post!

Sorry, but it irritates me when you're slammed for posting a repost, when you might have searched for it already (and possibly not put in the exact details because the original title had a typo or something) - and those shouting the most about a repost not putting in the original link.

I'm having a bad day
No idea where to look for it!! But is was longer (quite a bit) and very funny.

chill out!!!!!
I'm trying, but I think the best way for me to chill might be to head for the bell tower with a rifle...

I need to reduce my caffeine intake...


PR350

726 posts

239 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
bigTee said:
james_tigerwoods said:
Excellent - we're being told it's a repost. With a longer original post. But no reference to the original bloody post!

Sorry, but it irritates me when you're slammed for posting a repost, when you might have searched for it already (and possibly not put in the exact details because the original title had a typo or something) - and those shouting the most about a repost not putting in the original link.

I'm having a bad day
No idea where to look for it!! But is was longer (quite a bit) and very funny.



chill out!!!!!
It is nestling in one (if not all) of the Sean Connery Joke threads - and more than once - IIRC

bigandclever

14,406 posts

268 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
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* Any * post that starts with "The following is an actual..." is guff smile

Swilly

9,699 posts

304 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
james_tigerwoods said:
Excellent - we're being told it's a repost. With a longer original post. But no reference to the original bloody post!

Sorry, but it irritates me when you're slammed for posting a repost, when you might have searched for it already (and possibly not put in the exact details because the original title had a typo or something) - and those shouting the most about a repost not putting in the original link.

I'm having a bad day
Shut up or the repost police will take you down too... and give you a bit of repost-police brutality in the cells !! wink

Brabus Jord

1,589 posts

237 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
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P

H2DaE

1,338 posts

236 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
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Well Snopes refers to it as 'internet lore' which pretty much sums up how old it is...

Poledriver

Original Poster:

29,601 posts

224 months

Thursday 18th September 2008
quotequote all
O