Fastest way to catch a cold. Help.

[tinman0]

This is a serious question. I need to catch a cold and fast.

Myself and MsT are staying with another PHer (eternally grateful btw), who had a cold. He has since given his mrs the cold and MsT the cold. MsT can catch a cold by reading about it on the web quite frankly as she is so flaming susceptible its ridiculous, but thats life.

The only person in the household who doesn't have said cold right now is me. And thats bad.

Next Thursday, myself and MsT leave for two events back to back, which means 17 hour days for me as I'm the sole driver, until the end of September.

But I need this cold sooner than later. Me getting the cold just before we leave is going to hurt.

Any ideas, no matter how grim would be gratefully accepted. I'm up for anything but anal sex lol.

[Fivepercent]

Unfortunately anal sex is the only proven solution to your problem.

[Mr POD]

tinman0 said:

This is a serious question.

I need anal sex sooner rather than later

This is what I read between your lines.

Maybe when the wife is better she could catch you with a strap on ?

[Fivepercent]

To be serious the cold virus lives in your lungs and is airborne.
So get one of the existing victims to cough into your face whilst you breathe in deeply.
Or even get them to sniff some peper so they can sneeze into your face, that should transfer some virus in the right direction.

[tinman0]

Mr POD said:

tinman0 said:

This is a serious question.

I need anal sex sooner rather than later

This is what I read between your lines.

Maybe when the wife is better she could catch you with a strap on ?

I'm was just ruling anal sex out in the hope that the thread wouldn't descend into anal sex jokes later on. FAIL.

[evenflow]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Next time someone tells me they've caught "man flu" I'll back away slowly.

[tinman0]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Damnit, she's not going for that.

[tonyvid]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Hmmm, I have the start of a cold this morning...

[Digger.]

Why complicate things. Just go and stand outside in a a pair of shorts for an hour. Sorted.

Edited by Digger. on Monday 8th September 12:43

[tinman0]

Digger. said:

Why complicate things. Just go and stand outside in a a pair of shorts for an hour. Sorted.

i want the cold, not pneumonia.

[Timmy35]

Get your missus to sneeze onto a piece of tissue paper. Fold the paper outwards so her infected snot is on the outside.....twist it into a cone shape....and insert it into each nostrel.

Job done.

[Digger.]

tinman0 said:

Digger. said:

Why complicate things. Just go and stand outside in a a pair of shorts for an hour. Sorted.

i want the cold, not pneumonia.

Either way it will result in "Man Flu". . .

[tinman0]

Timmy35 said:

Get your missus to sneeze onto a piece of tissue paper. Fold the paper outwards so her infected snot is on the outside.....twist it into a cone shape....and insert it into each nostrel.

Job done.

You're twisted

[MK4 Slowride]

evenflow said:

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Next time someone tells me they've caught "man flu" I'll back away slowly.

[Timmy35]

tinman0 said:

Timmy35 said:

Get your missus to sneeze onto a piece of tissue paper. Fold the paper outwards so her infected snot is on the outside.....twist it into a cone shape....and insert it into each nostrel.

Job done.

You're twisted

Seriously....colds are passed on in the droplets of snot when people sneeze, usually you don't catch it from the air as such, unless someone sneezes right in your face...but from touching a surface that has been sneezed onto ( so is covered in recent snot ) that you then transfer to yourself by picking your own nose.

If you are squeemish about the snot jusy insert a cotton but up her nose, give it a good swab, then stick it up your own nose and roll it about.

[Mr POD]

tinman0 said:

Digger. said:

Why complicate things. Just go and stand outside in a a pair of shorts for an hour. Sorted.

i want the cold, not pneumonia.

My son's cold developed into that after we let him go on the Silver DofE Expedition in the rain. He passed but almost died.

[Pigeon]

Am I missing something? Surely a snog is a prime way to transfer the cold virus, if this isn't gonna happen then surely something else is up?

[Stigmundfreud]

tinman0 said:

Mr POD said:

tinman0 said:

This is a serious question.

I need anal sex sooner rather than later

This is what I read between your lines.

Maybe when the wife is better she could catch you with a strap on ?

I'm was just ruling anal sex out in the hope that the thread wouldn't descend into anal sex jokes later on. FAIL.

FAIL indeederydoo!

[TonyHetherington]

Am I right in saying that there are hundreds (thousands?) of different types of cold virus, which is why there's not a cure for it. If you've had that particular strain before you'll not be suceptible to it again?

(did I just COMPLETELY make that up?!)

[tinman0]

Pigeon said:

Am I missing something? Surely a snog is a prime way to transfer the cold virus, if this isn't gonna happen then surely something else is up?

Tried the snog two days ago.

The good news is that my nose is starting to run at the moment.