Things I have learnt since moving to the USA....
Discussion
It's now three months since I moved to Atlanta, Georgia, USA and this is what I have learnt so far:
- The USA is big. No, really. Brits don't realise just quite how bit it is. For example, Miami is not just "down the road" from Atlanta as a British friend of mine thought, despite how it looks on a map.
- British TV is just as crap as American TV, but American TV has more channels to spread the crap over.
- Guinness tastes just as good here as it does in the UK, but not as good as in Dublin.
- An English accent WILL get you off speeding tickets as long as you're not in tourist areas.
- No American should ever complain about high gas prices until they've visited the UK.
- No Briton should ever complain about the weather unless they've spent August in the southern USA.
- Despite living in the bible belt, no bugger talks about religion except on TV or unless you bring it up.
- The US Customs & Immigration Service will give anyone a greencard if they're prepared to pay enough and wait long enough. The queue is shorter if you're from a country the USA has invaded.
- Having a British queueing mentality is a big help when visiting the DMV.
- US Healthcare is s
te.
- Mosquitos love me.
- I hate mosquitos.
- Georgia has twice the annual rainfall of England but gets the rain in half the time. The thunderstorms are very spectacular.
- Getting divorced from a marriage performed in the UK while living in the USA and then married in the USA really, really confuses the US Customs and Immigration Service. A lot.
- Being served by a Mexican immigrant in an Indian restaurant just feels wrong.
- As does being served a "pint" of beer in a 16fl oz. glass.
- Everyone thinks you're from London. Or Australia.
- Once they realise you're British, American waitresses will offer to do almost anything for you, even in front of your wife.
- Wives quickly get used to this (well, mine did).
- With 30C+ temperatures and 70%+ humidity, airconditioning is the greatest invention known to the human race.
- Nobody can adequately describe what "grits" are.
- After watching F1 on ABC, James Allen is forgiven for EVERYTHING he has ever done.
- Americans do restaurants like the British do pubs.
- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
- The USA is big. No, really. Brits don't realise just quite how bit it is. For example, Miami is not just "down the road" from Atlanta as a British friend of mine thought, despite how it looks on a map.
- British TV is just as crap as American TV, but American TV has more channels to spread the crap over.
- Guinness tastes just as good here as it does in the UK, but not as good as in Dublin.
- An English accent WILL get you off speeding tickets as long as you're not in tourist areas.
- No American should ever complain about high gas prices until they've visited the UK.
- No Briton should ever complain about the weather unless they've spent August in the southern USA.
- Despite living in the bible belt, no bugger talks about religion except on TV or unless you bring it up.
- The US Customs & Immigration Service will give anyone a greencard if they're prepared to pay enough and wait long enough. The queue is shorter if you're from a country the USA has invaded.
- Having a British queueing mentality is a big help when visiting the DMV.
- US Healthcare is s
te.- Mosquitos love me.
- I hate mosquitos.
- Georgia has twice the annual rainfall of England but gets the rain in half the time. The thunderstorms are very spectacular.
- Getting divorced from a marriage performed in the UK while living in the USA and then married in the USA really, really confuses the US Customs and Immigration Service. A lot.
- Being served by a Mexican immigrant in an Indian restaurant just feels wrong.
- As does being served a "pint" of beer in a 16fl oz. glass.
- Everyone thinks you're from London. Or Australia.
- Once they realise you're British, American waitresses will offer to do almost anything for you, even in front of your wife.
- Wives quickly get used to this (well, mine did).
- With 30C+ temperatures and 70%+ humidity, airconditioning is the greatest invention known to the human race.
- Nobody can adequately describe what "grits" are.
- After watching F1 on ABC, James Allen is forgiven for EVERYTHING he has ever done.
- Americans do restaurants like the British do pubs.
- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
branflakes said:
- Once they realise you're British, American waitresses will offer to do almost anything for you, even in front of your wife.
- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
[hurriedly stuffs socks and pants into 1980's vinyl union jack travel bag]- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
Really?
What's your accent branflakes? Phil Mitchell or Nigel Havers?
captainzep said:
branflakes said:
- Once they realise you're British, American waitresses will offer to do almost anything for you, even in front of your wife.
- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
[hurriedly stuffs socks and pants into 1980's vinyl union jack travel bag]- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
Really?
What's your accent branflakes? Phil Mitchell or Nigel Havers?
Seriously tempted to go myself.
Everywhere has its + and - points, but on the whole, the USA is an amazing place. I would go just for the service levels alone! I am sick to my back teeth of the utter stupidity and lackluster performance of our supposed customer-centric companies here. The constant 'thats not my problem' and 'mheh' that I get is just shocking.... and its getting worse.
The Americans might sound cheesy with the 'have a nice day', but guess what, it bloody works....
Everywhere has its + and - points, but on the whole, the USA is an amazing place. I would go just for the service levels alone! I am sick to my back teeth of the utter stupidity and lackluster performance of our supposed customer-centric companies here. The constant 'thats not my problem' and 'mheh' that I get is just shocking.... and its getting worse.
The Americans might sound cheesy with the 'have a nice day', but guess what, it bloody works....
branflakes said:
captainzep said:
branflakes said:
- Once they realise you're British, American waitresses will offer to do almost anything for you, even in front of your wife.
- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
[hurriedly stuffs socks and pants into 1980's vinyl union jack travel bag]- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
Really?
What's your accent branflakes? Phil Mitchell or Nigel Havers?
I'd sound like Royalty by comparison!
branflakes said:
captainzep said:
branflakes said:
- Once they realise you're British, American waitresses will offer to do almost anything for you, even in front of your wife.
- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
[hurriedly stuffs socks and pants into 1980's vinyl union jack travel bag]- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
Really?
What's your accent branflakes? Phil Mitchell or Nigel Havers?
the novelty of being told to 'have a nice day' never wears off
latched triggers on fuel pumps is an ace idea
getting change from a 10 dollar bill to refuel something the size of Wales never ceases to amaze
finishing your plate tends to confuse the staff.......as does asking for 'just a salad'
never have figured out why American cut jeans look so seventies
or why some women have hair from the eighties
asking for a pitcher of beer.....each....seems to impress
I've seen an ice storm in Georgia.....bloody frightening, especially when sat in a 1" encrusted airliner
branflakes said:
captainzep said:
branflakes said:
- Once they realise you're British, American waitresses will offer to do almost anything for you, even in front of your wife.
- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
[hurriedly stuffs socks and pants into 1980's vinyl union jack travel bag]- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
Really?
What's your accent branflakes? Phil Mitchell or Nigel Havers?
branflakes said:
captainzep said:
branflakes said:
- Once they realise you're British, American waitresses will offer to do almost anything for you, even in front of your wife.
- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
[hurriedly stuffs socks and pants into 1980's vinyl union jack travel bag]- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
Really?
What's your accent branflakes? Phil Mitchell or Nigel Havers?
SidewaysSid said:
They also like words that we use that never get an airing in the USA.
My wife and daughter couldn't understand why women in shops kept asking them to repeat what they just said!!!
Words like lovely, as in `isn't that lovely`.
...fortnight is a great one. I try to use it as often as possibleMy wife and daughter couldn't understand why women in shops kept asking them to repeat what they just said!!!
Words like lovely, as in `isn't that lovely`.
I'll never forget being in the USA with my new wife, who was off getting a spa treatment done at the resort we stayed at in Arizona, and being summoned down to meet the staff because they had heard me on the phone to her, and thought I sounded like Sean Connery. They all wanted to meet 'James Bond'. The girls working in the spa (all of whom had never been out of the State) thought we were loaded because we had been married in a castle and I'd flown us from Chicago to Arizona by myself. Err..no.
Very, very surreal experience, all that attention, but not at all unpleasant.
Oh, and the rest of whats written is very damned accurate as well. All I'd add is that American hospitality, no matter how wealthy or poor the chap who is offering it is, is consistently 1st class.
There current leader may have the IQ of a baboon, but as individuals, the American people are some of the warmest, most genuine on earth.
Very, very surreal experience, all that attention, but not at all unpleasant.
Oh, and the rest of whats written is very damned accurate as well. All I'd add is that American hospitality, no matter how wealthy or poor the chap who is offering it is, is consistently 1st class.
There current leader may have the IQ of a baboon, but as individuals, the American people are some of the warmest, most genuine on earth.
branflakes said:
captainzep said:
branflakes said:
- Once they realise you're British, American waitresses will offer to do almost anything for you, even in front of your wife.
- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
[hurriedly stuffs socks and pants into 1980's vinyl union jack travel bag]- American women swooning over British accents never gets old.
Really?
What's your accent branflakes? Phil Mitchell or Nigel Havers?
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