Friday 14th September 2001

Carbage

Cable TV catering for my needs? I don't think so.

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[big rumbly]

Spot on Ted. When I started out, If you wanted a car to perform better, then you built it, anything unusual on the road, was normally the result of an enthusiast. Nowdays its all bolt on, and usually nothing to do with performance.1000 Watt stereos. WHAT. Put them in an anechoic chamber, where they can only make their own ears bleed. As for telly, media for the mindless. Remember Wheelbase, Raymond Baxter, progs for the intelligent enthusiast. Lowest common denominator viewing now. Rant Over Edited by big rumbly on Friday 14th September 07:51

[phil hill]

Nice one Ted, your rants are always good value !!!! Particularly liked the road side catering rant having worked for one of these fine establishments before getting a proper job. Anyway, back to the plot, locally we have worked out an "additional horse power" equivalent rating for the "modern modifier". A 3 inch tail pipe is worth 5 bhp, 5 inch is worth 10 bhp, harness pads worth 5 bhp, central wiper arm is also 5, do you see where I'm coming from ?? It is entirely possible for a kitted, dropped, rimmed (!), piped, belt-padded '86 Astra five door to have a extra 25 horse with these stylish additions....... Phil.

[mags]

Whatever happened to the Richard Grant black plastic rear window 'vents' They must have slashed 0-60 times with the aerodynamic efficiency improved so much

[phil hill]

I guess they went the same way as Wolfrace Slot mags.........

[GasBlaster]

Hear Hear Hear!!!!!

[Don]

Yep. Another good one.

[smeagol]

Absolutely right. Perhaps we can get rid of the cooking and house decorating sh*te we see now.

[Eastie]

Speak for yourselves people, I'm off to put a whaletail on my corolla.

[leehodges]

I turned on once to see this Carnage program - saw some twot who was selling chrome gear knobs and was trying to convince all the Halfords-Brigade that they actually made the car go faster! It was at this point I realised I didn't know all I needed too about sharks......

[wozie]

it seems a pity we cant have the best of both worlds hell can u imagine it playin kerplunk on cable tv

[phil hill]

Is this "Shark-tail" a new line in spoilers I had previously missed, I mean I've heard of Shark-nose before......

[Roy C]

Pin the tail on the donkey.....as Ferrari owners would say.

[leehodges]

quote:Is this "Shark-tail" a new line in spoilers I had previously missed, I mean I've heard of Shark-nose before......

In explanation : "With almost a hundred channels of 'niche' programming I am of course much more knowledgeable about the world I live in, and about sharks."

[gervaised]

i believe carnage is the program in which the aforementioned 'dizzy bint' described the chimaera as 'a bit of a bird's car'.

[JSG]

quote:Is this "Shark-tail" a new line in spoilers I had previously missed, I mean I've heard of Shark-nose before......

Phil, My eyesight must be getting worse - where did you get "Shark-tail" from. I can see mention of a Whale-tail spoiler but not the Shark-tail. Is this your subconcious longing for a new streamlined rear end?

[Nightmare]

Tec - I have nice second hand piano for sale if you're interested..... only a couple of bits of garotte-width wire missing..

[Phil Hill]

It was supposd to be a clever corruption of whale-tail you see, what with the references to Sharks on the telly. I dunno, you try and be a bit oblique and it all goes pear-shaped !!

[steveab]

Nice one Ted! I had the mis-fortune to watch Carnage when they bit a review on BrianO's old yellow Mantis - shamefull!! As for tw&ts with bolt on bits, you need a trip to Milton Keynes (god forbid), to check out the local boyzzz, I nearly always endup in stiches (the laughter type) when I'm driving around. Far too many shameful 1.4 Escorts with RS stylee airfix kits attached. But, if you a big boy then might graduate to mincer wagons like SLK's (old low spec ones obviously) or 'chipped' Jappy wagons with local sewerage pipes for exhausts. It's like watching Carnage live, complete with titless tarts and spotty waife like boys. Bring on the beer, pies and sports cars!! Steve

[Dave_H]

Excellent rant Ted! - Bolt-on Boy, that's now my fave term for all the spotty 19 year olds who go to Halfords to look through "W@nkers Window" - you know, the glass cabinet with all the polished alloy sh*t in it!

[russ]

ive bin sat on me arse watching sky dig now for 8 weeks(bad accident at work means i cant walk for a while) .At last my brain has vegetated to a point where i enjoy sky,god help me.