F:censored:ing in-laws

[zcacogp]

Pardon me while I get a little steam off my chest.

About my in-laws.

Who are currently staying at zcacogp towers.

They are staying because their other daughter has had a wedding blessing near-ish to us yesterday. So, they arrived on Thursday, and are staying to Monday.

And either ruining, consuming or breaking everything in sight. And with gay abandon to anyone's feelings. My father-in-law is tight, to the extent that he refuses to turn the heater on in the car as he believes it will cost him extra money. He drives on motorways at 56mph, because he believes that this is the most efficient speed to travel at. He refuses to heat his own house for any reason other than to prevent the pipes from freezing. (No, I'm not kidding, his words.) He is also antisocial to the extent of leaving the room whenever anyone else enters - literally, he will sit on his own in preference to sitting with a single other person.

So, when they are here, what do they do? They have refused to move their car to the free car park 'round the corner, because they 'want to be able to use it if they need to'. So, this is costing us 2xparking permits a day. Not huge cost, a couple of quid each. However, when it comes to driving to the wedding blessing (40 miles each way), they expect us to drive, saving 'their petrol' - "Oli'll drive. He likes cars and stuff." So, our petrol AND our paying for their parking permits to keep their car on our road.

He turns the house heating on at the drop of a hat, despite everyone else being quite warm enough and asking him not to. (I asked him twice, mrs zcacogp asked once.)

Yesterday, he felt the need to blunder around in my study. Managed to knock over my (work) laptop and crack the casing. "Oh, what was that. It can't have been important. Oh, a laptop was it? They are so cheap these days. I am sure that your company can afford to fix it - they are a large company aren't they?" Leaving me wondering exactly whatto tell my boss when I next see him. The truth, or some good-sounding story.

This evening, Mrs zcacogp and my Mother-in-Law have just been out to a social event, which he was invited to. No, he's not that keen, not feeling too bright, he'll stay at home. Got back 30 minutes ago to find the house like a sauna, there was a fire blazing in the grate - all the wood I had spent 3 hours this afternoon chopping up - and the heating on full tilt. We look in disbelief at the empty log box, and say "did you burn all the wood?" "Oh, yes, it just keeps on going." I'll bet it bloody keeps on going when it's someone else's wood. Whereupon I then note that the new, not-cheap cream rug which is in front of the fire is covered in burn marks. Why? Because he has burned the fire too high without the fireguard, and taken no care whatsoever to prevent this from happening. "Oh yes, it did smell a bit singed, but I couldn't see anything." I'll bet it smelled singed, and I'll also bet that he was lucky that it didn't burst into flames.

We currently have the windows open to cool down. If I wasn't so concerned about family relations he'd be thrown out of one of them and left there for the rest of the bloody night.

What do you do? Ask them to pay for it? Kick the shit out of him? Try and make him realise that he is being an utter w*nker and is coming very close to not being welcome, ever again? Getting close, only he will refuse to listen to anyone else's point of view.

Right, thanks for listening, nice to let off some steam, as you were chaps.


Oli.

[gorvid]

Sounds like a really horrible situation....

I think its always easier to offer advice than to acually deal with things like this.

But, if it was me I would have to make my feelings known. Maybe you could write it all down and hand him the letter - saying: 'if we can't resolve some of these problems you are simply never going to be invited into my home again'...

He sounds like a miserable sod at best, and a bully at worst...

It really is disgraceful behaviour!

Good luck!

[Trooper2]

Too bad about your situation, on a brighter note , from the sounds of it you should be thrilled he is making you drive, there is a much better chance you'll all make it there and back safely.

[Nick P]

my advice.....look forward to monday when they go!!!!
we had my parents stay all over xmas and it was similar....my old man used to get up, make himself a pot of tea, fall asleep in the chair, wake up, eat, fall asleep, walk his dog, go for a nap, eat tea, nod off, drink my booze, go to bed.....no hint of any help.....relatives eh?

[david_s]

15 years ago I told my sister-in-law and her boyfriend to leave my house and never return, we haven't spoken since. Result.

[Platinum]

Any chance of talking to your wife (or am I being a naive single person?)

[mattley]

Just tell him, in no uncertain terms.....


'You do realise just how many BJs this behaviour is gonna cost your daughter?'


er..

[FourWheelDrift]

zcacogp said:

What do you do? Ask them to pay for it? Kick the shit out of him? Try and make him realise that he is being an utter w*nker and is coming very close to not being welcome, ever again?

"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure"

[mybrainhurts]

zcacogp's dad in law said:

ONLY MEEEEE......

[deltafox]

Prepare the sharp booted boney thing attached to your right (or left leg; -your preference) and project it forward with a vigorous snapping type motion, directed to connect with his ample buttocks, preferably to contact with them both, while the aforementioned inconsiderate-selfish tossbag gains "altitude extremis" through an open walk-in/out portal.

If that dosent give him the message then nothing will.

Ps, feel free to shout "now bugger off" as you do so.

[up-the-dubs]

Drive like a lunatic next time he's in the car, should scare him out of taking a lift again. Burn all his fuel next time you're in his house. Block his car in the whole time on his drive and then "loose" your keys. Find something expensive and break it. Always sit beside him and follow him when he leaves, discussing the merits and details of DSG gearboxes all the while. Cook awful food and leave lumpy stuff under his side of the bed.

If anything he might not want to come back. Makes it out as not your fault too!
I feel for you though. It can't be a happy situation.

[zcacogp]

Gazboy said:

Mate, this chap sounds like he is in serious financal woe! ... Pick your Missus brains about his financal situation- no one lets themselves get that cold because they are tight.

Nope, this man is not poor. Owning a large property in Shropshire, purchased in cash a couple of years ago, with a good pension, he is just tight.

platinum said:

Any chance of talking to your wife (or am I being a naive single person?)

She is as pissed off as I am, and somehow ranting at her doesn't seem quite fair. It's not her fault ... although this was my first reaction!

Trooper2 said:

Too bad about your situation, on a brighter note , from the sounds of it you should be thrilled he is making you drive, there is a much better chance you'll all make it there and back safely.

Exactly, last time I drove I had to bite my tongue in the back of his 1100 skoda felicia to stop myself from screaming "Get out of the middle lane of the motorway when you are only doing 56mph".

Thankfully he did get out of the middle lane tho'. He drifted into the fast lane ...

gorvid said:

But, if it was me I would have to make my feelings known. Maybe you could write it all down and hand him the letter - saying: 'if we can't resolve some of these problems you are simply never going to be invited into my home again'... He sounds like a miserable sod at best, and a bully at worst...

A letter is not a bad idea. Maybe worth thinking about.

Bully for sure. Mrs zcacogp has 2 sisters, and apparently this behaviour is typical from all through her childhood. He, as the only bloke, has bullied his wife and his 3 daughters all through life. I actually feel a bit sorry for my Mother-in-law, whom I quite like, as she can see the problem but will not and cannot do anything about it. He is a complete chauvanist, and will not listen to her (or any other woman's) point of view - even to the extent of denying them a point of view. As the bloke, and head of the house, I am really fighting the urge to let him know exactly what my thoughts are (and I like to think that I am normally extremely placid, genial and urbane.) Mrs zcacogp has tried to talk to her father this evening about exactly why both she and I are pissed off with him. He looked straight through her and walked out of the room. (So she says - and I have no reason to disbelieve her. Had he done this in my presence I really think I would have hit him.)


Oli.



>> Edited by zcacogp on Sunday 22 January 21:34

[zcacogp]

up-the-dubs said:

Cook awful food

Oh, another gripe, thanks for reminding me. We cooked a particularly good lunch today, in honour of their presence. A really, really nice lunch (and zcacogp towers is not known for poor food - we are both foodies.) M-i-L says "Thank You" very prettily, and helps clear up. F-i-L doesn't say a thing, and goes back to sitting on the sofa on his own.

BTW, he is strictly teatotal, and refuses to allow anyone to drink alcohol in his presence. So, that was no wine with the particularly good lunch. (And this adds to the pissed-off-ness - I have just opened a bottle of good red to drink in front of him to really piss him off, and the damn thing is corked!)

four wheel drift said:

"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure"

Thanks for making me smile! It helped!


Oli.

[up-the-dubs]

zcacogp said:

up-the-dubs said: Cook awful food Oh, another gripe, thanks for reminding me.

D'oh .

[srebbe64]

Here's a word of warning, what's said in the heat of the moment can't be "unsaid". My advice, bite your tongue, vent your spleen on PH (or wherever) and count down the hours!

[ncs]

If you & your wife feel the same way its a great help.

I would suggest you remind him its your house hes staying in & ask that he treats it, & you, in the manor that he would expect from you if the roles were reversed.

If that doesnt work - kick him in the nuts

Nick

[mattley]

zcacogp said:

So, that was no wine with the particularly good lunch.

Now I think that is a step too far. My house, my rules..... but OK I'll make concessions. My table ooohhh now come on....



IMO you've gone way above and beyond, fair play to you. hang in there 'till he's gone and just laugh it all off.

[rich1231]

jesus grow a backbone!!
he is in your house, you make the rules.

[grass widow]

Left my in-laws looking after the kids overnight once. We didn't have central heating then, just a large multi fuel stove that used to heat the house lovely. We had just finished decorating the house, and everything was in order. (the lounge was cream)

Came back to find the decorating all smokey coloured, found out from our neighbour, they had filled the stove with coal, and I mean filled. Gone out in the garden with the kids for a while, came back in and apparently couldn't see when they got back in the house, so had to open all the windows and doors (middle of winter) and go back outside for a couple of hours till the smoke cleared.

We use bottled water for drinking, we have spring water which is ok but wouldn't use it for drinking straight from the tap. The last time they came to stay they went through 6, 5 litre bottles of water. (i got carried away kept buying when I didn't need to) Think they must have been bathing in it.

God save us from in-laws. Best of luck, its Monday tomorrow.

[redwedge5]

grass widow said:

Best of luck, its Monday tomorrow.

.....and make sure you NEVER invite him back again!