Don't mess with me mate..I'm in the IT department!
Discussion
I Have been having a bit of a problem with one of the department managers at work...
It started on my very first day in the office and has never stopped, he is always giving me attitude and expecting me to sort out his problems and his 'mates' problems RIGHT NOW etc.
This morning as i walk into the office he beckons me over and starts telling me the network is really slow.
"Me: (Smiling, cos the network has been slow since i have been there so its nothing new) " Yeah I know the network is slow, but is it still working?
"
Him " Just get it sorted..."
Me " I can't 'get it sorted' I am a desktop support contractor not a network engineer.
Him "Just phone who ever you have to phone and get it sorted out"
At that point I walked off.
Later in the day we (the IT department) had manged to get a temporary fix that would get everybody working much quicker so i went to install it on his computer first as he was such a high priority
He walks into his office with no windows (that he shares with forty other people) as soon as i had sat at his computer and demands to know what i am doing...
Me: "I am installing the fix you wanted"
Him: "No you are not! I don't want you doing anything to my machine!"
ME: "OK, Bye"
I sloped back off to my spacious office with windows all round that i share with one guy, to get back on the internet...
The guy i am working with, not my boss but I am happy for him to act like it, (I don't actually have a boss on site!)sends this guy an email bollocking him and explaining that as i am now uncomfortable working around him I will be working in other departments for a few days, installing the fix on everyone elses machines. "I should be able to come and do yours myself but probably not until next week."
And please don't annoy Hedders anymore, he is invaluable to me, even if he isn't familiar with every aspect of our infrastructure...He is freeing up my time so i can do things like sort out these fixes that you demand!
So....apparently said manager is planning on apologising , and in the mean time, I am not going anywhere near his department
I guess i will get an apology..or a P45.
Next installment soon...
Edited cos i put my real name in it...
>> Edited by hedders on Thursday 19th January 19:22
It started on my very first day in the office and has never stopped, he is always giving me attitude and expecting me to sort out his problems and his 'mates' problems RIGHT NOW etc.
This morning as i walk into the office he beckons me over and starts telling me the network is really slow.
"Me: (Smiling, cos the network has been slow since i have been there so its nothing new) " Yeah I know the network is slow, but is it still working?
" Him " Just get it sorted..."
Me " I can't 'get it sorted' I am a desktop support contractor not a network engineer.
Him "Just phone who ever you have to phone and get it sorted out"
At that point I walked off.
Later in the day we (the IT department) had manged to get a temporary fix that would get everybody working much quicker so i went to install it on his computer first as he was such a high priority
He walks into his office with no windows (that he shares with forty other people) as soon as i had sat at his computer and demands to know what i am doing...
Me: "I am installing the fix you wanted"
Him: "No you are not! I don't want you doing anything to my machine!"
ME: "OK, Bye"
I sloped back off to my spacious office with windows all round that i share with one guy, to get back on the internet...
The guy i am working with, not my boss but I am happy for him to act like it, (I don't actually have a boss on site!)sends this guy an email bollocking him and explaining that as i am now uncomfortable working around him I will be working in other departments for a few days, installing the fix on everyone elses machines. "I should be able to come and do yours myself but probably not until next week."
And please don't annoy Hedders anymore, he is invaluable to me, even if he isn't familiar with every aspect of our infrastructure...He is freeing up my time so i can do things like sort out these fixes that you demand!
So....apparently said manager is planning on apologising , and in the mean time, I am not going anywhere near his department
I guess i will get an apology..or a P45.
Next installment soon...
Edited cos i put my real name in it...
>> Edited by hedders on Thursday 19th January 19:22
Rather you than me 
Good luck!
Ive had my own worries...
Client: Why the bloody hell isnt our site online blah blah...
Me: I emailed you asking for the FTP details, ive emailed you a few times asking. Send them over, and we'll have the site up this week for you.
Dont hear from them for a while. Try not to chase anyone too much, to give them their own space (I am proactive in chasing people though)
Client: Why the bloody hell isnt our site online, you said last week, blah blah
Me:
No doubt they'll try it on next week. Dont get angry, get even. Now wheres that afterbirth and a nice padded envelope
Good luck! Ive had my own worries...
Client: Why the bloody hell isnt our site online blah blah...
Me: I emailed you asking for the FTP details, ive emailed you a few times asking. Send them over, and we'll have the site up this week for you.
Dont hear from them for a while. Try not to chase anyone too much, to give them their own space (I am proactive in chasing people though)
Client: Why the bloody hell isnt our site online, you said last week, blah blah
Me:
No doubt they'll try it on next week. Dont get angry, get even. Now wheres that afterbirth and a nice padded envelope
hedders said:
I am a desktop support contractor not a network engineer.
hedders said:
I guess i will get an apology..or a P45.
Bad attitude. You're a contractor - you can't get a P45 from your client as you are not their employee.
Repeat after me; "Mr. Brown, I am not a disguised employee. IR35 does not apply to me. Take your stinking stealth tax elsewhere you fat pickpocket."
Unless it's the MD or the FD, awkward users get short shrift from me. After seven years, most have learned that it's better to keep me on side if they want their IT problems resolved.
I worked as an IT trainer / troubleshooter / floorwalker in a previous life, working on contracts with BT, M & S, and numerous Scottish councils, and was treated like sh!t. Everyone from the receptionist to the Accountant competed to see who could be the most obnoxious. But I had to keep smiling; couldn't afford to lose the contract.
Just remember, while you will keep moving on to bigger and better things, the manager you describe will always be an ars3hole!
I worked as an IT trainer / troubleshooter / floorwalker in a previous life, working on contracts with BT, M & S, and numerous Scottish councils, and was treated like sh!t. Everyone from the receptionist to the Accountant competed to see who could be the most obnoxious. But I had to keep smiling; couldn't afford to lose the contract.
Just remember, while you will keep moving on to bigger and better things, the manager you describe will always be an ars3hole!
the biggest issue is everyone see's their fault as the highest priority.
there maybe 40 of them but only 1 of you, You have to decide what is or is not an issue
grin and bear it.
next time there is an isse and they want to know what was wrong say PEBCAK.
PEBCAK = Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. That should keep them quiet
>> Edited by david87M3 on Thursday 19th January 20:42
there maybe 40 of them but only 1 of you, You have to decide what is or is not an issue
grin and bear it.
next time there is an isse and they want to know what was wrong say PEBCAK.
PEBCAK = Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. That should keep them quiet
>> Edited by david87M3 on Thursday 19th January 20:42
To be fair, this company have just gone through major upheaval after the Hemel Hempstead thing' and its amazing they have got things sorted out as quickly as they have, they are lucky to have any networks..or any staff come to that..
I am not allowed to discuss company business with the media so I can't name them here, in fact i only remember how to get there cos i go through the NorthGate of the industrial estate.
I am not allowed to discuss company business with the media so I can't name them here, in fact i only remember how to get there cos i go through the NorthGate of the industrial estate.
It was "suggested" years a go that I move out of my support role as my reply's were getting a little short shall we say. I have no time for numpties like that anymore, plus being a fellow contractor I don't get involved in the politics so couldn't give a monkies if some jumped up "manager" has a problem. I'll do my job to the best of my abilities and go that extra mile when needed but if people pi55 me off then they can't expect me to do anything for them.
If I were you I'd get into a consultancy based role where people pay you to come in and want to listen to what you have to say, its amazing the different way your treated.
Failing that just keep unpatching his PC!
If I were you I'd get into a consultancy based role where people pay you to come in and want to listen to what you have to say, its amazing the different way your treated.
Failing that just keep unpatching his PC!
All hail the BOFH
Part of what I do is ad hoc desktop support for SMEs and worse - domestic customers. (A market I'm taking large steps to get away from). They pay for one call and then ring every 5 minutes with a numpty problem...
"My taskbar's gone"
"I'm getting 'page not found' on the Internet"
...and so on. But they don't half get shirty if you don't sort it out in 10 mins on the phone - gratis. "But yes, Madam, you're the 5th person today to want free advice..."
No point putting a premium rate in, they'd just ring the normal number! "But I spent £38 with you last month, tell me how to do..." GRRR...
...and breathe...
Part of what I do is ad hoc desktop support for SMEs and worse - domestic customers. (A market I'm taking large steps to get away from). They pay for one call and then ring every 5 minutes with a numpty problem...
"My taskbar's gone"
"I'm getting 'page not found' on the Internet"
...and so on. But they don't half get shirty if you don't sort it out in 10 mins on the phone - gratis. "But yes, Madam, you're the 5th person today to want free advice..."
No point putting a premium rate in, they'd just ring the normal number! "But I spent £38 with you last month, tell me how to do..." GRRR...
...and breathe...
Hey Hedders I know exactly what you mean. These pen pushing idiots think that because you press a few keys infront of them you are non-skilled pondlife that has an easy ride. I would like to see half of 'them' try to do what most IT bods have to do during their normal days' work when it comes on top. Plus your skills have to be renewed every year as upgraded versions of software come and and demand more from the IT staff with every build - you never stop learning.
I also had shit when I was an IT bod. The director of one large contract used to treat me like a POS and hold me personaly responible for every problem that occurred. He had about 400 desktops spread across five branches and I inherited all their problems when I took over the contract from a bunch of cluless chancers. A bit long winded but this is the gist of it, as it has provided me with an immence feeling of job satisfaction during the last few years
To name just a few problems I had;
1) All of the PC's in the company were using bent software. Bent Windows XP ,and a few with 98 and Millenium! Bent Office etc. They actually had licenses for Windows and Office 95, but that was it!
2) Most of the PC's had no antivirus and those that did had Norton, but all of the licenses had expired and would not receive updates
3) This was now three years ago and the specifications of the machines were all Evesham Vale 600Mhz with 128meg RAM.
4) Their mail server was running a cracked version of Mailtraq Pro and was running on am AMD Duron 800Mhz with XP and 128 meg ram. This was for 450 email accounts
5) Their whole network was ISDN single channel between branches and 10 based T on the LAN's.
6) This was at the time the Blaster Worm was released
7) I got a phonecall at 9.00 on a Monday morning from the Director himself summoning me to his office. By the time that it took to meet him (10.00am) he only had a handful of desktops running, the rest were all rebooting and sending malicious mail to everyone in that users address book
He asked me why we had *orton antivirus on the desktops and why it was not stopping the viri from spreading across his corporate network. I told him that as far as I knew *orton would stop 99.9% of all viri, if of course, the software was licensed and taking updates..
8) He said clearly it was the 0.1% which *orton was letting through and blamed me publicly for all the problems and even sent global emails saying that it was my IT problem
9) I then visited a few choice porn sites, like Gay Bondage.com, latex man, fetish world, etc, you get the idea, and signed him up for everything I could on his corporate email address
10) I also replied to all the email clients directly (including other board-members), stating that as all the software was out of date and non-functional, and that it was not my problem and he was duly notified of this when I took up the contract. They knew me by now as I had met most of them when trying to sort out their desktop problems and we had a good understanding. (Also I was now past caring, and didn't really want to work for this idiot and damage my good name).
11) As other board members were now asking the question why the software wasn't licensed and legal, he did a massive scapegoat move and ordered me to change all the antivirus to something that would catch the viri and blaming *orton for all the problems - so I recommended AVG. For the first time in about four years he paid for all the legit software and installed volume licensed copies of AVG7 and all the virus problems stopped immediately. He also replaced all the desktops (but not the monitors!) and installed licensed copies of Win XP.
12) Finally he made a public apology about the 'missunderstanding' that had occurred.
I left immediately after this, with a clear name and in credit, knowing that every fudge-packer in the country new his email address and wanted his arse.
Justice is sweet
I also had shit when I was an IT bod. The director of one large contract used to treat me like a POS and hold me personaly responible for every problem that occurred. He had about 400 desktops spread across five branches and I inherited all their problems when I took over the contract from a bunch of cluless chancers. A bit long winded but this is the gist of it, as it has provided me with an immence feeling of job satisfaction during the last few years
To name just a few problems I had;
1) All of the PC's in the company were using bent software. Bent Windows XP ,and a few with 98 and Millenium! Bent Office etc. They actually had licenses for Windows and Office 95, but that was it!
2) Most of the PC's had no antivirus and those that did had Norton, but all of the licenses had expired and would not receive updates
3) This was now three years ago and the specifications of the machines were all Evesham Vale 600Mhz with 128meg RAM.
4) Their mail server was running a cracked version of Mailtraq Pro and was running on am AMD Duron 800Mhz with XP and 128 meg ram. This was for 450 email accounts
5) Their whole network was ISDN single channel between branches and 10 based T on the LAN's.
6) This was at the time the Blaster Worm was released
7) I got a phonecall at 9.00 on a Monday morning from the Director himself summoning me to his office. By the time that it took to meet him (10.00am) he only had a handful of desktops running, the rest were all rebooting and sending malicious mail to everyone in that users address book
He asked me why we had *orton antivirus on the desktops and why it was not stopping the viri from spreading across his corporate network. I told him that as far as I knew *orton would stop 99.9% of all viri, if of course, the software was licensed and taking updates..
8) He said clearly it was the 0.1% which *orton was letting through and blamed me publicly for all the problems and even sent global emails saying that it was my IT problem
9) I then visited a few choice porn sites, like Gay Bondage.com, latex man, fetish world, etc, you get the idea, and signed him up for everything I could on his corporate email address
10) I also replied to all the email clients directly (including other board-members), stating that as all the software was out of date and non-functional, and that it was not my problem and he was duly notified of this when I took up the contract. They knew me by now as I had met most of them when trying to sort out their desktop problems and we had a good understanding. (Also I was now past caring, and didn't really want to work for this idiot and damage my good name).
11) As other board members were now asking the question why the software wasn't licensed and legal, he did a massive scapegoat move and ordered me to change all the antivirus to something that would catch the viri and blaming *orton for all the problems - so I recommended AVG. For the first time in about four years he paid for all the legit software and installed volume licensed copies of AVG7 and all the virus problems stopped immediately. He also replaced all the desktops (but not the monitors!) and installed licensed copies of Win XP.
12) Finally he made a public apology about the 'missunderstanding' that had occurred.
I left immediately after this, with a clear name and in credit, knowing that every fudge-packer in the country new his email address and wanted his arse.
Justice is sweet
david87M3 said:
the biggest issue is everyone see's their fault as the highest priority.
there maybe 40 of them but only 1 of you, You have to decide what is or is not an issue
grin and bear it.
Ahhh - everyone is the centre of their own little universe and are therefore obviously more important than anyone else.
Users don't tend to like it when I tell them they are not a higher priority, their call will be treated as routine, and we will get around to sorting their problem in due course. Let's face it, it's a rare day when there isn't something urgent requiring our attention. Pigeon said:
http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html
BOFH! My online mentor! I've been reading this stuff since my first IT job. He truly is my role model. I've come so close to being pushed to emulate him on several occasions before now.
Gazboy said:
IT dudes are fascinating creatures. At work we call them atleast once every month because we fubarred a PC or 3. Usually a dude in his 20's comes in, looks at us as if we just called his mum a whore when we explain that we can't resolve the blue screen of death, the cursor has f***ed off for lunch and we are too scared to even breath near the computer, let alone press a key.
Our fresh faced real life Keyboard Warrior, demands room, rolls up his sleeves, and has the air and grace of a top notch concert pianest, and starts tapping away like a thousand gerbils impersonating Micheal Flatley on Pet Idol.
Within seconds our funky dude has our system working even faster than before, and asks if we need our shoe laces tying while he's here. He then floats back to his office full of servers to gawp at his girlfriend J.Peg, who is residing on his laptop.
HOW do you become IT? I'm damn near certain the careers advisor at school in the mid 90's never mentioned this awesome looking job with a stunning wage.
We IT guys are fantastic aren't we?
I kind of just ended up in IT. I wasn't sure what to do when I left school, I decided I liked computers and enroled on a computing course at my college. Several years and a degree later I end up getting a job as a support engineer and I was well and truly on the IT path. Now I'm in IT management but have so far succeeded in avoiding becoming a geek (I met a few at another site of ours the other day and it made me shudder). After a while becoming an IT God is second nature and like Nike you just do it.
david87M3 said:
the biggest issue is everyone see's their fault as the highest priority.
there maybe 40 of them but only 1 of you, You have to decide what is or is not an issue
grin and bear it.
next time there is an isse and they want to know what was wrong say PEBCAK.
PEBCAK = Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. That should keep them quiet
>> Edited by david87M3 on Thursday 19th January 20:42
I've also used 'It's a Layer 8 problem' and 'There's a bug in the liveware'
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