For those with teenage kids ...
For those with teenage kids ...
Author
Discussion

MikeyT

Original Poster:

18,459 posts

301 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
My 14yo lad reckons it's OK these days to expect on a Friday and Saturday night to stay up with his mate(s) in his bedroom doing whatever until 2/2.30am - this leads to him getting up at about 1pm the next day (sat or Sun) - I think this is wrong and argue the toss with him at every opportunity but this has happened a few times recently - not every weekend bu certianly two out of the last three and lots of time before. Once I came hom at 3.30am from wiork and he was still up on the computer with his mates.

So, am I being a 1970s fuddy-duddy and being 'tight' as he puts it - and should I come into the 21st century an 'chilll out'? Or should I expect him to toe the line and be more heavy handed.

Basically, am I being unreasonable ...

He's quite small for his age and what he's doing is not beneficial to him physically I think - the staying up late bit - makes him short=tempered sometimes on the Sat/Sun.

But then he is a teenager - may just be normal behaviour

Kids of his age today want to act like 18yo ones, I think and as I said, when you've your own place, you can see the sun come up for all I care.

Any views/experiences appreciated.

TimW

3,848 posts

277 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
At least he is indoors at that time, if he was out n about on the streets till that time then its badd, but maybe set a limit on at 1 or soemthin no pc past 1am?

pmanson

13,388 posts

283 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
How do his mates get home at 3am? Do their parents come and pick them up?

MikeyT

Original Poster:

18,459 posts

301 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
pmanson said:
How do his mates get home at 3am? Do their parents come and pick them up?


No, they stay over ...

pmanson

13,388 posts

283 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
MikeyT said:
pmanson said:
How do his mates get home at 3am? Do their parents come and pick them up?


No, they stay over ...



Thats not too bad then. If its a sleep over of sorts thats not so bad.

Always going to the way that they want to stay up late

SS2.

14,712 posts

268 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
Been there, done that....

I'd rather them staying up late in my house than someone else's - at least you know they are safe and can sort of monitor what they are up to. IMO, 3AM does seem a bit late for 14 year olds though, particularly if they are grouchy the next day. Some would say 14 year olds are often grouchy anyway - remember Kevin the teenager ??

Just wait for the day when he has a girl 'friend' to stay over and you have to try and monitor the sleeping arrangements throughout the night. Happened to us when my lad had his prom date stop over last year (both 15 with hormones going nuclear ). The Mrs never slept a wink that night and insisted on leaving a paper-bin booby trap outside his bedroom door in case nipper tried to sneak into the spare room across the hallway...

anonymous-user

84 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
I have a 15 year old lad Mikey.

I encourage sleepovers as at least I know where they are. They camp in our paddock in the summer as well and I'm fortunate to have large outbuildings where they have sofas, drum kit, music etc.........

I've accepted that staying up all night is part of the buzz and I accept it unless it's a school night or they keep me awake!

And they still think I'm a miserable old git..............

srebbe64

13,021 posts

267 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
I guess it's a personal thing, depending on your view as a parent - there's no right or wrong with these issues.

Our view with our teenagers is that if they have friends over for a sleep-over then we don't mind them chatting until the wee hours, providing there's no school the next day. However, I don't think we'd allow it every single week. I'd be inclined to draw the line at the 'regularity' rather than the 'lateness'. But, as I say, there's no right or wrong.

MikeyT

Original Poster:

18,459 posts

301 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
unrepentant said:
And they still think I'm a miserable old git..............


Same here. Understand the bit about knowing where they are - and he says when he satys at their houses, they're up til these sort of times - (have to check that with thier parents really)

So I'm made to feel the odd one out (like I care).

So I'm up against it - probably better to just concede but put a time limit on it - say 1am?

>> Edited by MikeyT on Tuesday 10th January 02:16

wedg1e

27,041 posts

295 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
I'd have never let it get that late in the first place. How you're going to undo it now, I've no idea

Useful advice from Grandad there

anonymous-user

84 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
MikeyT said:
unrepentant said:
And they still think I'm a miserable old git..............


Same here. Understand the bit about knowing where they are - and he says when he satys at their houses, they're up til these sort of times - (have to check that with thier parents really)

So I'm made to feel the odd one out (like I care).

What's worse though is the missus is siding with HIM .. ! She seems to think it's OK ...

So I'm up against it - probably better to just concede but put a time limit on it - say 1am?


Think yourself lucky. I've got an 18 year old daughter as well.

rolyrat

3,383 posts

253 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
I have had some pretty late sleepovers, and they havnt adversely affected me. Let them do what they want, i say.

vixpy1

42,699 posts

294 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
at least he's not out causing trouble..

I don't see a problem with it, as long as its the exception not the rule.. unless all the people staying over are girls, in which case.. pat him on the back and say.. go on my son..

I'm going to be a terrible father

wedg1e

27,041 posts

295 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
unrepentant said:
MikeyT said:
unrepentant said:
And they still think I'm a miserable old git..............


Same here. Understand the bit about knowing where they are - and he says when he satys at their houses, they're up til these sort of times - (have to check that with thier parents really)

So I'm made to feel the odd one out (like I care).

What's worse though is the missus is siding with HIM .. ! She seems to think it's OK ...

So I'm up against it - probably better to just concede but put a time limit on it - say 1am?


Think yourself lucky. I've got an 18 year old daughter as well.


Need a babysitter...?

vixpy1

42,699 posts

294 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
wedg1e said:
unrepentant said:
MikeyT said:
unrepentant said:
And they still think I'm a miserable old git..............


Same here. Understand the bit about knowing where they are - and he says when he satys at their houses, they're up til these sort of times - (have to check that with thier parents really)

So I'm made to feel the odd one out (like I care).

What's worse though is the missus is siding with HIM .. ! She seems to think it's OK ...

So I'm up against it - probably better to just concede but put a time limit on it - say 1am?


Think yourself lucky. I've got an 18 year old daughter as well.


Need a babysitter...?


damn, thats my line

Parrot of Doom

23,075 posts

264 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
Let them stay up for as long as they like.

Just make sure they get up at 8AM - no exceptions.

They'll learn.

wedg1e

27,041 posts

295 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
vixpy1 said:
wedg1e said:
unrepentant said:
MikeyT said:
unrepentant said:
And they still think I'm a miserable old git..............


Same here. Understand the bit about knowing where they are - and he says when he satys at their houses, they're up til these sort of times - (have to check that with thier parents really)

So I'm made to feel the odd one out (like I care).

What's worse though is the missus is siding with HIM .. ! She seems to think it's OK ...

So I'm up against it - probably better to just concede but put a time limit on it - say 1am?


Think yourself lucky. I've got an 18 year old daughter as well.


Need a babysitter...?


damn, thats my line


Maybe, but I have more experience

anonymous-user

84 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
wedg1e said:
unrepentant said:
MikeyT said:
unrepentant said:
And they still think I'm a miserable old git..............


Same here. Understand the bit about knowing where they are - and he says when he satys at their houses, they're up til these sort of times - (have to check that with thier parents really)

So I'm made to feel the odd one out (like I care).

What's worse though is the missus is siding with HIM .. ! She seems to think it's OK ...

So I'm up against it - probably better to just concede but put a time limit on it - say 1am?


Think yourself lucky. I've got an 18 year old daughter as well.


Need a babysitter...?


No














But then I've met you.

vixpy1

42,699 posts

294 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
wedg1e said:
vixpy1 said:
wedg1e said:
unrepentant said:
MikeyT said:
unrepentant said:
And they still think I'm a miserable old git..............


Same here. Understand the bit about knowing where they are - and he says when he satys at their houses, they're up til these sort of times - (have to check that with thier parents really)

So I'm made to feel the odd one out (like I care).

What's worse though is the missus is siding with HIM .. ! She seems to think it's OK ...

So I'm up against it - probably better to just concede but put a time limit on it - say 1am?


Think yourself lucky. I've got an 18 year old daughter as well.


Need a babysitter...?


damn, thats my line


Maybe, but I have more experience


Yes, but all my eqipment still works grandad

Mrs Trackside

9,299 posts

263 months

Sunday 8th January 2006
quotequote all
MikeyT said:
unrepentant said:
And they still think I'm a miserable old git..............


Same here. Understand the bit about knowing where they are - and he says when he satys at their houses, they're up til these sort of times - (have to check that with thier parents really)

So I'm made to feel the odd one out (like I care).

What's worse though is the missus is siding with HIM .. ! She seems to think it's OK ...

So I'm up against it - probably better to just concede but put a time limit on it - say 1am?

Even though you and your wife differ on your views here, I hope you show a united front to him?

Anyway, if it were my boy, (I don't have a son, but I do have a 12 year old daughter), I think I'd be inclined to set a time limit - mine would be 12.00 because I need MY sleep and they'd keep me awake, and I wouldn't let his mates stay over more than once a month.

Yes, I am an evil Nazi of a mother, and I don't care what other parents let their kids do. This is mine and Tracksides house, so we make our own rules.