Why do I attract the cretins in this world?
Discussion
This happened right outside my office window last week. My wife was coming to collect me so we could do a little lunch. I saw her come off the bypass and on to the slip road. Halfway up the slip road there is a junction that enters the slip road. Some maroon in a fiesta pulls out of the junction right into the path of my wife in the pajero, she did a valiant job of swerving to miss the tw@t but clips his wing, bumper and light, breaking the light. We suffered a scratch (minor) on the bumper. I legged it down there to exchange details. I did not discuss blame as this is pointless and it is obvious that it his fault.
Today I recieve a letter from his insurance company saying it was her fault!!
Chancing barsteward.
So Christopher Parker, you are a liar and you will loose. Cretin
Today I recieve a letter from his insurance company saying it was her fault!!
Chancing barsteward.
So Christopher Parker, you are a liar and you will loose. Cretin
WHY DO I ATTRACT THE CRETINS IN THIS WORLD?
Would you like a list of reasons?
1) You live in a nice coastal town infinitely more pleasant than where I am forced to live. For this reason you must be punished.
2) You are a better driver than I am - for this you also need to be punished.
3) Both your cars are cooler than my cars - this makes people want to crash into them.
Most importantly: What kind of parents would name their son Gooby? Probably it is all part of a conspiracy....
Would you like a list of reasons?
1) You live in a nice coastal town infinitely more pleasant than where I am forced to live. For this reason you must be punished.
2) You are a better driver than I am - for this you also need to be punished.
3) Both your cars are cooler than my cars - this makes people want to crash into them.
Most importantly: What kind of parents would name their son Gooby? Probably it is all part of a conspiracy....
Maybe it's just me, but there seems to be an awful lot more of this sort of stuff going on lately. It seems to me that the basic rules that say give way to the right, and thus define which side of the road you should drive on, are being lost.
Just the simple things like stopping at a STOP sign. The dotted lines that indicate the junction of a major and a minor road.
People seem to be cutting corners more than they used to. For example, you approach a tee junction (on the minor road), with the aim of stopping for the dotted lines before turning right onto the major road. As you get there someone else is turning right into the minor road from which you are emerging.
So there I am, slowing down for the stop, looking at the line so I stop in the right place, and the other guy turning right is trying to cut the corner. Well there's no way I can stop early without a much more severe brake application, and the other guy just looks at me as if to say "get out of my way"!
Then there's the road where there isn't really enough room to get three cars abreast. A long line of vehicles are parked on the opposing side of the road, and I'm driving along my right of way. Irrespective of the fact that the guy coming the other way could see me driving down my side of the road, he insists on trying to get through in the opposite direction.
Then there's the guy behind you at the tee junction. In order that you don't end up taking someone elses right of way away you position yourself carefully to turn right at the minor to major road. You're at a slight angle, because you don't want to hit the kerb on the other side of the road when you floor it to get into the traffic. Obviously the traffic on the major road is quite heavy, and you have to cross both lanes. Because the minor road is too narrow, there isnt enough room for the guy behind to get past and turn left, unless he goes up the kerb or clips your rear nearside quarter.
Then there's the roundabout where the guy in the outside lane decides he's going to go all the way around the roundabout in the outside lane.....
Accidents have little to do with speed. It's just the basic functional rules that make the difference.
I's not that you attract cretins. It's just that there's more of them these days.
>> Edited by dilbert on Monday 5th December 16:35
>> Edited by dilbert on Monday 5th December 16:37
Just the simple things like stopping at a STOP sign. The dotted lines that indicate the junction of a major and a minor road.
People seem to be cutting corners more than they used to. For example, you approach a tee junction (on the minor road), with the aim of stopping for the dotted lines before turning right onto the major road. As you get there someone else is turning right into the minor road from which you are emerging.
So there I am, slowing down for the stop, looking at the line so I stop in the right place, and the other guy turning right is trying to cut the corner. Well there's no way I can stop early without a much more severe brake application, and the other guy just looks at me as if to say "get out of my way"!
Then there's the road where there isn't really enough room to get three cars abreast. A long line of vehicles are parked on the opposing side of the road, and I'm driving along my right of way. Irrespective of the fact that the guy coming the other way could see me driving down my side of the road, he insists on trying to get through in the opposite direction.
Then there's the guy behind you at the tee junction. In order that you don't end up taking someone elses right of way away you position yourself carefully to turn right at the minor to major road. You're at a slight angle, because you don't want to hit the kerb on the other side of the road when you floor it to get into the traffic. Obviously the traffic on the major road is quite heavy, and you have to cross both lanes. Because the minor road is too narrow, there isnt enough room for the guy behind to get past and turn left, unless he goes up the kerb or clips your rear nearside quarter.
Then there's the roundabout where the guy in the outside lane decides he's going to go all the way around the roundabout in the outside lane.....
Accidents have little to do with speed. It's just the basic functional rules that make the difference.
I's not that you attract cretins. It's just that there's more of them these days.
>> Edited by dilbert on Monday 5th December 16:35
>> Edited by dilbert on Monday 5th December 16:37
rixge said:
I keep pondering about owning an old maxi, welding two rsj`s along the chassis, and one each end to act as bumpers. I wonder if anybody would pull out then ! 0-60 in say three weeks...
He he! Have you seen a '98 pajero. It is basically a taxi with RSJ's !!
We have a minor scratch (I had to look to see it!) and he has wing, bumper and light gone!
shangani said:
WHY DO I ATTRACT THE CRETINS IN THIS WORLD?
Would you like a list of reasons?
1) You live in a nice coastal town infinitely more pleasant than where I am forced to live. For this reason you must be punished.
We have 3 major hospitals, plenty of scope for a man of your skills. Get off you bum and move down here - we all want you to! Every concievable watersport, great roads and fantastic beaches, great restaurants (Not the one we were in Saturday!) and nice people! Pretty good schools for the nippers.
shangani said:
2) You are a better driver than I am - for this you also need to be punished.
Wrong, I just know the roads!
shangani said:
3) Both your cars are cooler than my cars - this makes people want to crash into them.
It is not hard to out cool the renault "fat arse" but it is very safe for the bambinos, that deservs respect!
shangani said:
Most importantly: What kind of parents would name their son Gooby? Probably it is all part of a conspiracy....
My sister called me Gooby
I have been a passenger in a lightwieght Landrover SWB, with V8, that had the entire bobywork sprayed matt black, looked as mean as hell. To then top it the owner had Bright Orange RSJs attached front and back and then went round the car with a rubber mallet and put "Fake" dents into it.
He lived in London and knew he had got it right, when he pulled out on Roundabouts and the London Cabbies gave way
He lived in London and knew he had got it right, when he pulled out on Roundabouts and the London Cabbies gave way
Better than that...
I knew a guy who had a soft rag doll in the rear window of his V8 Landrover. I suppose there's nothing very offensive about that, untill I tell you that it was arranged to have it's middle finger raised in the "swivel" configuration!
>> Edited by dilbert on Monday 5th December 17:23
I knew a guy who had a soft rag doll in the rear window of his V8 Landrover. I suppose there's nothing very offensive about that, untill I tell you that it was arranged to have it's middle finger raised in the "swivel" configuration!
>> Edited by dilbert on Monday 5th December 17:23
dilbert said:
Better than that...
I knew a guy who had a soft rag doll in the rear window of his V8 Landrover. I suppose there's nothing very offensive about that, untill I tell you that it was arranged to have it's middle finger raised in the "swivel" configuration!
>> Edited by dilbert on Monday 5th December 17:23
To save weight in the Lotus, I simply raise my middle finger and shout
. Because I am not a small chap, this usually suffices.Gooby
That sounds like a pain in the butt.
On the other hand, when he fills in his insurance claim saying "I pulled out of a side road", it could be end of story. Did anyone else in your office see it?
To rephrase that, how many people in your office saw it?
Phil.
PS Thanks for Saturday night.
>> Edited by philygumbo on Tuesday 6th December 18:30
That sounds like a pain in the butt.
On the other hand, when he fills in his insurance claim saying "I pulled out of a side road", it could be end of story. Did anyone else in your office see it?
To rephrase that, how many people in your office saw it?
Phil.
PS Thanks for Saturday night.
>> Edited by philygumbo on Tuesday 6th December 18:30
dilbert said:
Maybe it's just me, but there seems to be an awful lot more of this sort of stuff going on lately.
yeh and what about d**kheads that don't seem to care which lane of the motorway they use for overtaking.
An those that sit in the middle lane...
And the ones that leave there sodding rear wiper on even when it's not raining!!!!
Breath in... and relax!
Sorry, lost it for a minute then.
Just too many cretins. Driving test is just not tough enough - no question.
Dunc
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