Discussion
You can't beat ill-educated marketeers to bollox up the English language (NB I did that deliberately!).
In a shop earlier today I picked up a bottle of furniture polish. It said: 'Dermatologically and Allergologically tested'
'Dermatologically' I can live with, but 'Allergologically'...?
In a shop earlier today I picked up a bottle of furniture polish. It said: 'Dermatologically and Allergologically tested'
'Dermatologically' I can live with, but 'Allergologically'...?
Classic, perfectly logical isn't it?simpo two said:
You can't beat ill-educated marketeers to bollox up the English language (NB I did that deliberately!).
In a shop earlier today I picked up a bottle of furniture polish. It said: 'Dermatologically and Allergologically tested'
'Dermatologically' I can live with, but 'Allergologically'...?
Regenium?
I love the way cosmetic companies invent new bollox words for their latest crap products.
I sometimes write for the large satirical sites. This thread reminded me of an article I wrote a couple of years back - hope you enjoy:
AHA Fruit Acid Complexes could kill millions
The World Health Organisation last night issued a stark warning. “Stop buying fictitious formula beauty products or die.”
The statement came after doctors in Australia reported huge rises in deaths from skin cancers as sun seeking Aussies, renowned for wearing almost nothing in the bright sunshine down under, refused to cover up. The girls, often wearing nothing but tiny crack burying thongs while going topless with their tanned breasts visible to anyone who cares to look, and the men who parade in ridiculous posing pouches, are applying little more than a smear of a new lotion that is, according to experts, “worse than useless.”
“Products boasting utterly made up ingredients have been extensively advertised for some years now” said Dr Ahmed Masala, spokesman for the WHO last night, “there are no such things as liposomes or isoflavones. These are words that have been made up. Anyone can do it – reactomiposils – see I just made one up right there.”
“For years we have listened to beauty companies telling us that their products contain this or that, and ridiculous words like jojoba have entered our language, words that we instinctively know are nothing more than marketing bullshit.” Continued Dr. Masala, “And as a professional scientist I can categorically state that “Fruit Waters” are bloody well nothing more than a bit of orange juice, and vitamin B nanocapsules are something out of a science fiction movie.”
Leading cosmetics companies last night branded Dr Masala as a “fruitloop and a flake” before pointing out that they all have products based upon fruit that prevent flaking.
AHA Fruit Acid Complexes could kill millions
The World Health Organisation last night issued a stark warning. “Stop buying fictitious formula beauty products or die.”
The statement came after doctors in Australia reported huge rises in deaths from skin cancers as sun seeking Aussies, renowned for wearing almost nothing in the bright sunshine down under, refused to cover up. The girls, often wearing nothing but tiny crack burying thongs while going topless with their tanned breasts visible to anyone who cares to look, and the men who parade in ridiculous posing pouches, are applying little more than a smear of a new lotion that is, according to experts, “worse than useless.”
“Products boasting utterly made up ingredients have been extensively advertised for some years now” said Dr Ahmed Masala, spokesman for the WHO last night, “there are no such things as liposomes or isoflavones. These are words that have been made up. Anyone can do it – reactomiposils – see I just made one up right there.”
“For years we have listened to beauty companies telling us that their products contain this or that, and ridiculous words like jojoba have entered our language, words that we instinctively know are nothing more than marketing bullshit.” Continued Dr. Masala, “And as a professional scientist I can categorically state that “Fruit Waters” are bloody well nothing more than a bit of orange juice, and vitamin B nanocapsules are something out of a science fiction movie.”
Leading cosmetics companies last night branded Dr Masala as a “fruitloop and a flake” before pointing out that they all have products based upon fruit that prevent flaking.
NiceCupOfTea said:
L Casei Immunitas
Science degrees are very handy for picking one's way through the BS.
Properly spelled, Lactobacillus casei immunitas is a perfectly normal bacterium. Lactobacillus is a large family of bacteria which metabolise (feed on) lacotse, aka milk sugar. Lactobacillus is the genus so it has a capital letter; the species and strain start with small letters.
Similar story for Bifidus digestivum. Obviously the marketeers can't say it's got 'bacteria' in it because then people would think it had bird flu in it
A liposome is a minute sphere with a lipid membrane, usually suspended in a hydrophilic liquid. Lipds are hydrophobic so the thing holds together and doesn't dissolve together. However, whether or not they make you pretty is another matter.
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