The junk e-mail people send on
Discussion
Subject: FW: Fwd: Fw: Free - £60 SAINSBURY'S VOUCHER
Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2005 17:07:12 +0000
hi,..
apparently if u send this email to 10 people and also to Sainsburys they send u a £60 voucher via email... nice one eh?
J.sainsburys@customerservices.com
--------------------------------------------------------------
I am always getting this stuff from two of my (female) friends at uni. It's quite scary that they could actually be qualified lawyers in a couple of years yet still believe that kind of shite!
I just sent them a new message along the lines of
"Apparently if you send this e-mail to 10 people you will get a free Ferrari"
I got replies of "really?" and I fully expect it to be forwarded to hundreds of people now...
Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2005 17:07:12 +0000
hi,..
apparently if u send this email to 10 people and also to Sainsburys they send u a £60 voucher via email... nice one eh?
J.sainsburys@customerservices.com
--------------------------------------------------------------
I am always getting this stuff from two of my (female) friends at uni. It's quite scary that they could actually be qualified lawyers in a couple of years yet still believe that kind of shite!
I just sent them a new message along the lines of
"Apparently if you send this e-mail to 10 people you will get a free Ferrari"
I got replies of "really?" and I fully expect it to be forwarded to hundreds of people now...
Muncher said:That's nothing.
It's quite scary that they could actually be qualified lawyers in a couple of years yet still believe that kind of shite!
Quote from my best mate's flatmate:
"Do unicorns exist?"
Reproducing the question in it's original black country twang adds to the effect
Muncher said:
I am always getting this stuff from two of my (female) friends at uni. It's quite scary that they could actually be qualified lawyers in a couple of years yet still believe that kind of shite!
I just sent them a new message along the lines of
"Apparently if you send this e-mail to 10 people you will get a free Ferrari"
I got replies of "really?" and I fully expect it to be forwarded to hundreds of people now...
If they're that gullible how about sending them one which says 'Sleep with me and you'll be rich and famous...'?
Send them this, and see if they get the hint:
I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's (sent
to me because I forwarded an e mail to five other people, celebrating the
fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a
friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been
served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable,
since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried
Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC).
Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got
out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note
on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone
because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his
computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e mail entitled
"Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer
programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which
all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman Marcus
cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true I read it all
last week in a mass e mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising
me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e mail to
everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing
kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which
unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's
expense. Then reaching into the coin return slot he got jabbed with an
HIV infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to
the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital
the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose
last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e mail and the
American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e mail he
receives. I sent him two e mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's
in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10
people, you will have good luck but for 10 people only you will only have
OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK
FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful,
he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang
initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will
receive 4 green M&Ms if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will
report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you
will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your
spouse/mate will develop a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which
clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S. government will put a tax on
your e mails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.
I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's (sent
to me because I forwarded an e mail to five other people, celebrating the
fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a
friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been
served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable,
since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried
Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC).
Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got
out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note
on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone
because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his
computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e mail entitled
"Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer
programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which
all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman Marcus
cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true I read it all
last week in a mass e mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising
me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e mail to
everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing
kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which
unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's
expense. Then reaching into the coin return slot he got jabbed with an
HIV infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to
the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital
the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose
last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e mail and the
American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e mail he
receives. I sent him two e mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's
in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10
people, you will have good luck but for 10 people only you will only have
OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK
FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful,
he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang
initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will
receive 4 green M&Ms if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will
report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you
will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your
spouse/mate will develop a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which
clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S. government will put a tax on
your e mails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.
Or this:
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion
chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1,000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky-here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.
So basically, this message is a big YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
them.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1:
Make a wish!!!
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!
STOP!!!!
Hope you made a great wish
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
It's true!
Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!
Here's how it goes:
* Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
* Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain
* Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
* Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will firebomb your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
-------------------------------Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats.
This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
--------------------------------Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works:
Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
--------------------------------Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating cat food,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of assholes,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...
no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.
------------------------------------------------------
The point being?
If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise I’ll come round to your house with my goat!
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion
chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1,000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky-here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.
So basically, this message is a big
YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
them. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't
care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1:
Make a wish!!!
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!
STOP!!!!
Hope you made a great wish
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
It's true!
Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!
Here's how it goes:
* Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
* Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain
* Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
* Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will firebomb your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
-------------------------------Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats.
This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
--------------------------------Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works:
Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
--------------------------------Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating cat food,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of assholes,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...
no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again.
------------------------------------------------------
The point being?
If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise I’ll come round to your house with my goat!
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