A fairytail

[Lois]

We've had the lad's perfect fairytail before...

Once upon a time,
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
~~~~~~~~
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat,
~~~~~~~~
contemplating ecological issues
~~~~~~~~
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
~~~~~~~~
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
~~~~~~~~
and said: Elegant Lady,
~~~~~~~~
I was once a handsome prince,
~~~~~~~~
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
~~~~~~~~
and I will turn back
~~~~~~~~
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and setup housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever
~~~~~~~~
feel grateful and happy doing so.
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't ing think so.

[Ferg]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

[randlemarcus]

Soooooo much trouble...

[grass widow]

Ferg said:

anonymous said: [redacted]

Didn't I read somewhere your name is spelt Feargus tsk tsk you do take liberties with a very good story. Just remember what happened to the frogs legs

[Lois]

I hear their teeny tiny testicles make a nice appetiser too

[raf dug]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

thats scary.

[raf dug]

Ferg said:

anonymous said: [redacted]

Thats more like it

[TheExcession]

Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
A man in a vest
~~~~~~~~
went to see a Wise Wizzard.
~~~~~~~~
The doctor said 'what does bother ye?'
~~~~~~~~
'Well' the dapper vested man said
~~~~~~~~
'Sir - I have a frog growing out of my head'
~~~~~~~~
'Hmmm' the doctor said, 'Indeed young dapper vest wearing man -
tis a strange sight so see'
~~~~~~~~
'How did this all begin?' enquired the Doctor
~~~~~~~~
So, the young girl said
~~~~~~~~
'Well, you see? It started as a boil on my arse'

[srebbe64]

TheExcession said:

Once upon a time ~~~~~~~~ A man in a vest ~~~~~~~~ went to see a Wise Wizzard. ~~~~~~~~ The doctor said 'what does bother ye?' ~~~~~~~~ 'Well' the dapper vested man said ~~~~~~~~ 'Sir - I have a frog growing out of my head' ~~~~~~~~ 'Hmmm' the doctor said, 'Indeed young dapper vest wearing man - tis a strange sight so see' ~~~~~~~~ 'How did this all begin?' enquired the Doctor ~~~~~~~~ So, the young girl said ~~~~~~~~ 'Well, you see? It started as a boil on my arse'

Maybe I'm a bit thick? But what the hell are you on about? Can you explain to me in words of one syllable please?

[mybrainhurts]

srebbe64 said:

TheExcession said: Once upon a time ~~~~~~~~ A man in a vest ~~~~~~~~ went to see a Wise Wizzard. ~~~~~~~~ The doctor said 'what does bother ye?' ~~~~~~~~ 'Well' the dapper vested man said ~~~~~~~~ 'Sir - I have a frog growing out of my head' ~~~~~~~~ 'Hmmm' the doctor said, 'Indeed young dapper vest wearing man - tis a strange sight so see' ~~~~~~~~ 'How did this all begin?' enquired the Doctor ~~~~~~~~ So, the young girl said ~~~~~~~~ 'Well, you see? It started as a boil on my arse' Maybe I'm a bit thick? But what the hell are you on about? Can you explain to me in words of one syllable please?

Leave him alone, he's got a leprechaun problem....

[munky]

I suspect the frog could spell 'fairytale' though.

[Pigeon]

Firkin ferret ales...