sparky problem to help with dirty protest

[nervous]

hi gang :wavey:

i need your help please, i have a problem of an electrical nature. well, in a sense. i have a friend i want to terrify whilst hes on the toilet.

so, me and the missus have spent the evening wiring up an air-horn behind the toilet that will play the dukes of hazard theme when i flick a switch. and were nearly there: we have decent volume, and I'm fairly sure that a prolapse will ensue BUT (piss poor pun unintended, but ill claim it all the same) the pump part of the air-horn-thingy takes several seconds to prime, and whilst its building up air pressure it starts to play the tune slowly, and this rather gives the game away. now thats just not cricket, what?

so... what we need is someway of keeping the pump primed so it will play Dixie land or whatever the hell it is at the right speed and kill the annoying little fucker. luckily, and heres where the genius in my plan comes in, he'll already be sitting on the shitter so i wont have to clean up after his last movement.

i have relays (one came in the kit for the horn :sniggerisaidhornagain: but Ive long since lost the instructions. hell, who am i kidding i threw them away straight away cos I'm awesome) i have wire, i have fuses. in short, if you think we need it, i will get it.

but how to do it? thoughts gang? hes coming over tomorrow night for a birthday party and I'm off tomorrow so i can work on it all day if needed. i figure its worth it.

thanks in advance and all that. you're the tops, love you long time etc etc.

N. :wavey:

[nervous]

ps it must be possible, as im sure when these godawful things are fitted to cars they dont play slowly the first time the horn is pressed, it goes the correct speed every time, durnit? its a relay thing right? i knew i should have listened in electronics instead of manufacturing papier mache willies to frighten sarah wallis.

[scoobz]

is there no way of leaving power to it so that the air pressure is always ready in waiting?

im guessing thats how a car does it

[nervous]

well, im not sure how else to do it other than the way weve got it currently wired.

at present we have two feeds from the battery going to the horn :snicker: and the positive line is being interupted with a switch. flick the switch and its like the good old duke boys on frame advance.

suggestions?

[scoobz]

remove the switch

[nervous]

but then its running constantly, you scouse fool. i reckon the element of surprise will be somewhat lessened if he walks into whats effectively an 80's themed toilet.

[scoobz]

ahh

[nervous]

i can see why they pay you the big bucks.

anyone who isnt a proffesional thief know?

[scoobz]

can you wire the pump and horn seperately?

[diddyman]

If I was your mate I would come running out of the bog shouting you :cnu... No, I must control myself...

Wotcher chaps! I've been at it since 6.

[nervous]

no, well not really. the pump has six outlets that feed the air it generates into horns (air+ horn= airhorn... see what they did there? i count two levels, tho there may be more). these horns have assorted length tubes and assorted sized mouths/ trumpets (easily my favorite word by the way) and when the pump is pumping at full speed it generates this annoying, yet stoolingly effective tune. im guessing that inside theres some sort of rotating disc that covers all the other outlets periodically, allowing the right note to be played at the right time.

does that help?

[diddyman]

Why not just hide a speaker behind the john and crank up your hifi when he's in there?

[nervous]

hiya diddy, fix this for us will you, please.

ive been giggling like a child all day thinking about it, but now im getting tempted to just shoot him in the face but yell bang just beforehand for the same net effect.

[nervous]

diddyman said:

Why not just hide a speaker behind the john and crank up your hifi when he's in there?

cos i have these airhorns, you berk. at least try and keep up. sheesh, these kids...

[scoobz]

nervous said:

does that help?

no.

i'll nip off and steal you the instructions

[nervous]

its full loudness, right away. if we muffle it we may not kill him.

its a relay thing, i can feel it in my genital(the other of which knows nothing about electronics).

if it helps, well get a picture of his last second and post it as a reward for all your kindness/ accomplice work.

[diddyman]

I don't know nuffink about air horns guv. Though I'm full or air and sometimes get the horn. But that's no use to you is it? Well, not for this particlar occasion anyway.

So, what happens if you prime the machine first? Does it then slowly let the pressure out over time like a loose fart, or does it keep primed...

Could you possibly prime it sat half an hour in advance, and then Whap!

[nervous]

it takes about 30 seconds to prime, ie one slow revolution of the tune, and then its almost up to speed. disconnect the power/ interrupt with the switch and its gorne again almost immediatley.

ive just found a description of how relays work, and th diagram of the relay on the page is the same as the one that comes in the kit. can anyone translate?

[url]www.the12volt.com/relays/relays.as[/url]



>> Edited by nervous on Thursday 27th October 23:59

[Byff]

Only way I can think of doing it would be to have the air pump running constantly with a pressure relief valve so the air is always at optimum pressure. A Tee'd air line going to the horns is interuppted by a solenoid valve, which, by switching on and off, controls the horns straight to full blast dixie.

I beleive your relay wont be of any use.

[nervous]

no cos the trumpets have to be in there to emit the noise. regardless of how far away the pump is, it still needs to get up to speed and in doing so it emits noise. the only change longer tubes will make i reckon is diminished volume. i think, im guessing here too.