Am I An Arse???

[MBradbury]

I'm currently in the situation of buying a house with the girlfriend, a big decision after having only been together for 6 months but hey ho, let's get on with it. We're both in the position of have a good lump of equity from previous properties, but the problem is I have 40k more than her. I said I would like this reflected in the ownership documentation, ie that if the house is sold I get the first 40k and we go 50:50 on the rest.

Now this has made me lower than the Yorkshire Ripper in her eyes and has resulted in a few 'words' being exchanged.

Am I being a complete arse as she seems to think? My thoughts are I'm only being sensible with what I've earnt over the years.

Judge me!

[Mrs Fish]

I personally wouldn't have a problem with that.

[vixpy1]

Sounds sensible to me..

[mondeoman]

Perfectly reasonable IMHO

Avoid bunny boilers!

[minimax]

total arse i'm afraid





what you should have said is 40k as a percentage of the overall purchase price will be returned to you

that way your investment can grow with any price inflation




heartless I know, but that's financial advisors for you!



>> Edited by minimax on Friday 21st October 17:08

[nutcase]

Nope, she is.

Also, might be worth mentioning that based on her reaction to this, a prenup will be required before marriage... in for a penny and all that

[ofcorsa]

a friend and his partners first house was split 70/30 as she was at uni and he was earning.

My girfriend was at uni and i was working but she paid the bulk of the deposit so we went 50/50.

Not being an arse at all.

[nightmare]

right or not isnt the point. you're definitely sensible and it seems fair.

however...what it could perceptually be seen as is 'i dont really believe this will work out'.

schoolboy error. write 100 lines..."next time i will hide extra income and by expensive cars with it"

[Incorrigible]

Put in £40k each and blow the other £40k on a tow car and a track car

Everytime she moans, take her out in the track car. Mrs Inc normally sits down an shakes like a shitting dog for a day after she's been out in mine

[minimax]

nutcase said:

Nope, she is. Also, might be worth mentioning that based on her reaction to this, a prenup will be required before marriage... in for a penny and all that

absolutely, sounds like she's a bit of a nutcase (only slight pun intended)

[speedychrissie]

surely you are actually being nicer to her than you have to be because you are actually entitled to mre than 40k more than her when the house is sold. you are actually putting in a certain percentage more than her so you should be entitled to that percentage of the sale price which is bound to be more than 40k more than her unless your house loses money.

chris

[JagLover]

Stick to your guns on this one, you I are in the right.

It would be different if you were married.

[Mrs Fish]

Incorrigible said:

Put in £40k each and blow the other £40k on a tow car and a track car Everytime she moans, take her out in the track car. Mrs Inc normally sits down an shakes like a shitting dog for a day after she's been out in mine

[groomi]

I did this with the missus when we bought her house - but she had the money (A good choice methinks ). We split it as a percentage and we are both happy with the arrangement.

Ofcourse, next year we're getting married, so I'll instantly become a richer man

[ultimasimon]

What your saying is bordering on a prenuptial agreement (which are contentious in a court of law). Today's living arrangements and the change of social behaviour away from marriage is forcing new ideas and arrangements.

I equate the situation this way:

If my partner and I love each other then we are joint and severally bound by our emotions and our will to be together: Therefore if our emotions should change and we both want out, then we should be able to recover (reasonably) what ever we both put into our 'togetherness' i.e. house, car etc. If I put £40k extra in then I would expect to ask to have that put aside if we part, because we are not in a relationship to make money like a business does, we in it but for love.

Simple

[up-the-dubs]

Why did you tell her you had 40k? Put in an equal ammount to her and you're sorted. And then buy yourself a present for being so clever. Preferably something with only one seat .

[chim_knee]

Friends of the wife were in this situation and did exactly what you say. First £40k was hers, the rest was split.

They've ended up getting married and having a kid and moving once or twice since the original "deal" so I suspect the money is now shared.

But you are completely right to assert that the extra is yours.

[Code Monkey]

all making sense here, why not stay where you are and get her to pay rent for a while, or vice versa depending on who sells one of the two houses first or put a house up for 6 month rent then think about the moving in together thing.

that way you know more of what spices and the like she is going to be putting in with your pet bunny rabbit if it should all go mammaries moonwards....

[simpo two]

When I was in that situation we agreed on a pro rata basis, ie if I put 60% of the price in the pot, I'd own 60% of the house and would get 60% of it on sale.

Maybe women are more sharing than men? At the worst she wants a chunk of what you've got, at best it might be simply because she never imagines life wihtout you, so it doesn't matter who owns what.

Dunno!

[hugoagogo]

if anything you are being generous, like someone said you should have that 40k as a percentage of future worth.