Wife work balance
Author
Discussion

bmw645

Original Poster:

3 posts

130 months

Wednesday 7th October
quotequote all
My wife is cabin crew and works some European and occasionally trips away. I've been a stay at home husband for the past 10 years looking after her kids and now our own. I now want my job. She only works march -october but is working pretty much every weekend. I'd ideally like her to give up and retire. She is 45. We have 2 rentals and no mortgage. I feel that this job is her 'life'. Our two children 9&6 seems to miss out on her doing stuff at the weekends and I also find it lonely. She has told me to go ahead and get what job I want and "we will work it out". I'm unsure how this would work. Take the past 2 days. She was up at 3am and back home for 2pm then back in bed now to get up tomorrow to go away and back Saturday night.I feel slightly cornered as any job I suggest she does instead I get told no.

bobtail4x4

4,427 posts

139 months

Wednesday 7th October
quotequote all
bmw645 said:
My wife is cabin crew and works some European and occasionally trips away. I've been a stay at home husband for the past 10 years looking after her kids and now our own. I now want my job. She only works march -october but is working pretty much every weekend. I'd ideally like her to give up and retire. She is 45. We have 2 rentals and no mortgage. I feel that this job is her 'life'. Our two children 9&6 seems to miss out on her doing stuff at the weekends and I also find it lonely. She has told me to go ahead and get what job I want and "we will work it out". I'm unsure how this would work. Take the past 2 days. She was up at 3am and back home for 2pm then back in bed now to get up tomorrow to go away and back Saturday night.

I feel slightly cornered as any job I suggest she does instead I get told no.
didnt we already do this one?

_Rodders_

4,790 posts

49 months

Wednesday 7th October
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Yeah we did.


bmw645

Original Poster:

3 posts

130 months

Wednesday 7th October
quotequote all
Am I allowed to post this or can we only post brand new topics!

borcy

12,807 posts

86 months

Wednesday 7th October
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Sounds like you're going round in circles, are you prepared to get divorced because she's not changing.

AlexRS2782

8,530 posts

243 months

Wednesday 7th October
quotequote all
bobtail4x4 said:
didnt we already do this one?
There was a very similar thread a few months back along the same lines. In that one the kids were teens and the wife was exactly the same age as this thread. Although the OP of that thread has since asked PH to delete their account and make them an anon user.

Edit, found it - https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Also, remember that OP's only other post / thread on on PH so far is this - https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Where someone is claimed to have sent his wife an email about their son being up to no good on a night out and wanting to get Police (and MI5 laugh ) involved. Yet this thread claims the 2 kids are 9 & 6 scratchchin

Hoofy

80,113 posts

312 months

Wednesday 7th October
quotequote all
Well, whether this is made up or not, I'm sure it's worthwhile exploring because someone somewhere may be reading this and find it relevant.

So, my thinking is that the wife has her identity locked up in the role of cabin crew and does not want to let this go. It gives her meaning and a sense of importance. The same applies to men who work 40+ hours a week in a job for which they have a sense of pride, belonging and identity. And can lead to depression and a sense of loss when they retire.

Something to think about, at least.

Radec

5,996 posts

77 months

Wednesday 7th October
quotequote all
Maybe there's some sort of trolley dolly's stay at home lonely fellas support group that all these guys can join and offer a shoulder to each other.

Seems to be a growing trend on here.

KAgantua

5,190 posts

161 months

Thursday 8th October
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OP it looks like you need to make an exit.

(It may be behind you)

Ill get me coat...

the cueball

1,909 posts

85 months

Thursday 8th October
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KAgantua said:
OP it looks like you need to make an exit.

(It may be behind you)

Ill get me coat...
Please do not stop to collect any belongings..



OP, what have you done to change/improve your situation since the last post you made??

Dog Biscuit

2,717 posts

27 months

Thursday 8th October
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Why don't you train as a pilot?

Then you can both live the high life and give the kids free holidays and family member discounts.

Everyone one's a winner baby!


Oh and you'll need a pair of these...


theoperative

664 posts

5 months

Thursday 8th October
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Okay....i'll bite....So IF the op is genuine, then why does he think his wife should give up her career just so he can have one?

Doesn't make sense.

IF the first post is genuine but i suspect it's cobblers

Jamescrs

6,460 posts

95 months

Thursday 8th October
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Probably just read all the replies on the last thread you created about the same thing and make some decisions for yourself

shirt

25,480 posts

231 months

Thursday 8th October
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I think OP is genuine but just doesn’t want to listen to the advice given on his previous threads.

I also want to know how a stewardesses salary pays for all this.

vikingaero

13,449 posts

199 months

Thursday 8th October
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shirt said:
I think OP is genuine but just doesn t want to listen to the advice given on his previous threads.

I also want to know how a stewardesses salary pays for all this.
It doesn't. She works March to Oct. They have 2 rentals and no mortgage!

I imagine she loves her job, the travel, the glamour, the camaraderie etc and has someone at home looking after the house and kids. If that's all she's ever done, good luck in changing her.

theoperative

664 posts

5 months

Thursday 8th October
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You have to wonder if after years of being a stay at home husband, not working and looking after everything, he suddenly found Andrew Tate and started listening to his guff.

Magnum 475

4,181 posts

162 months

Thursday 8th October
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Depending on your skill set, you do have another option.

During the period when your wife isn't working, do some short-term freelance contracts. You can probably sell this to her as "Keeping some money coming in while you're not working"

Day rate contracting can be extremely lucrative if you have a desirable skill set - I struggle to recruit certain skills either as permanent employees or as contractors.

The down side to this is, of course, less time together when she's not off flying.

Another option would be fully remote work - there's plenty of that around these days.

Monkeylegend

29,431 posts

261 months

Thursday 8th October
quotequote all
shirt said:
I think OP is genuine but just doesn t want to listen to the advice given on his previous threads.

I also want to know how a stewardesses salary pays for all this.
Perks of the job, those airline Captains can be a randy old bunch.

And as mentioned above if OP is genuine what was his either 6 or 9 year old son doing on a night out to get MI5 involved hehe


dukeboy749r

3,902 posts

240 months

Thursday 8th October
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I suspect the OP won't be returning to this thread and it was either a wind-up or there is something (sadly) seriously wrong. Both at home and with the OP.

If the latter and you read this OP, I hope you get matters sorted for yourself and your children, firstly.

Alex9

280 posts

11 months

Thursday 8th October
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AlexRS2782 said:
There was a very similar thread a few months back along the same lines. In that one the kids were teens [...] Yet this thread claims the 2 kids are 9 & 6 scratchchin
Her kids are teens, the kids they've had together are 6 and 9.