Do you have purpose in life? How did you find it?
Discussion
It s that tons of year when my seasonal depression is at its absolute worst and I really do question what the point in life is, all I do is get up and go to work, come home, feed myself and go to bed, waiting for the weekend, when it s pissing it down, so I can t spend time outside, work just feels pointless, I have a well paying skilled job but I feel like it adds nothing to society I m just on earth to earn money, buy things, travel 4 weeks a year to escape the depression and pay tax.
What do people do to feel purpose in life? How did you find yours?
What do people do to feel purpose in life? How did you find yours?
Edited by Quattr04. on Monday 9th March 22:30
Quattr04. said:
It s that tons of year when my seasonal depression is at its absolute worst and I really do question what the point in life is, all I do is get up and go to work, come home, feed myself and go to bed, waiting for the weekend, when it s pissing it down, so I can t spend time outside, work just feels pointless, I have a well paying skilled job but I feel like it adds nothing to society I m just on earth to earn money, buy things, travel 4 weeks a year to escape the depression and pay tax.
What do people do to feel purpose in life? How did you find yours?
I'm reminded of your recent thread...What do people do to feel purpose in life? How did you find yours?
Quattr04. said:
I have a well paying skilled job but I feel like it adds nothing to society I m just on earth to earn money, buy things, travel 4 weeks a year to escape the depression and pay tax.
We're hard wired to dislike paying tax and whilst the value we get from doing so varies, looking at the bigger picture, paying tax should be considered a privilege in that you are contributing to a civil society, one that looks out for the most vulnerable and provides futures for kids and support for those that need it when they need it. This isn't wishful thinking - it is very real and the fact that you earn more than most means you contribute more than most. That right there is a very important purpose you serve and one you should be proud of. You're able to buy things. You are thus contributing to the securing of livelihoods of those people working at the places you buy from or who make the stuff you buy. Trust me, they are very grateful to you.
You travel. Travel is one of life's greatest privileges. Whether you're rooted to a Barbadian Beach or exploring Tokyo, your horizon is broadened and your presence in those places can also broaden the minds of those you meet.
So when it comes to figuring out your purpose, there's quite a few there for you. It may not be apparent but it's there.
Volunteering and/or teaching are two ways to boost one's sense of purpose.
Creating something from nothing is another.
Quattr04. said:
What do people do to feel purpose in life? How did you find yours?
I think it finds you.Taking my last point above, I'm blessed with creative capacity. My 'trade' is Graphic Design but has evolved to encompass a wider gamut of creative endeavour; filmmaking, photography, campaigns, etc. I work for public sector clients on campaigns and initiatives that seek to bring about social and environmental change. So I get two bursts of purpose; one when I see an ad on a billboard or TV and think - "ha! I did that!" and then knowing that what I have done has had a positive impact somewhere and knowing that I did that as well. And all of this starts with a blank screen or a blank bit of paper. Nothing happens until I start to think about it and turn thoughts into something tangible.
None of this I hunted out. I recognised some opportunities along the way and seized them.
I think the ability to recognise purpose is more important than pursuing it. As above, there's positive purpose in everyone's lives, you just have to recognise that it's there and what it is.
Read the book Screw work let’s play, quit my job, left the 9-5 and realised life is too short to have regrets or be restricted by fear of what if it goes wrong.
And perhaps in keeping with your other thread just pointed to, the fact I didn’t have kids or large mortgages/debts/car finance etc made that feel far less of a risk to make that move.
I still monitor how I use my hours to avoid becoming complacent or falling into bad habits of wasting it as I’ve come to realise time is precious.
And perhaps in keeping with your other thread just pointed to, the fact I didn’t have kids or large mortgages/debts/car finance etc made that feel far less of a risk to make that move.
I still monitor how I use my hours to avoid becoming complacent or falling into bad habits of wasting it as I’ve come to realise time is precious.
I don’t know if some people ever do, I’ve had a pretty varied life doing a lot of interesting things but I still resent every mistake I made on the way that materially affected my future. Having a (planned) child reframed what I considered success away from just earnings and material stuff towards providing an upbringing for my child where they get to experience the world and are a net positive in life to everyone they come in contact with
I am a cancer survivor.
Everyone is blasé about life until you nearly lose it.
My thing is spending time with my Wife and watching my children develop, they are both young adults now and the journey has been great.
My marriage since my illness has gone back to being almost newlyweds, we have been together 26 years.
Everything else in life I consider noise, work, house, cars, everything.
It’s s all a matter of perspective really, I am not wealthy. But I don’t envy anyone on here, or anyone I meet in life really.
Thats not arrogant, that’s being content.
Everyone is blasé about life until you nearly lose it.
My thing is spending time with my Wife and watching my children develop, they are both young adults now and the journey has been great.
My marriage since my illness has gone back to being almost newlyweds, we have been together 26 years.
Everything else in life I consider noise, work, house, cars, everything.
It’s s all a matter of perspective really, I am not wealthy. But I don’t envy anyone on here, or anyone I meet in life really.
Thats not arrogant, that’s being content.
StuntmanMike said:
I am a cancer survivor.
Everyone is blasé about life until you nearly lose it.
My thing is spending time with my Wife and watching my children develop, they are both young adults now and the journey has been great.
My marriage since my illness has gone back to being almost newlyweds, we have been together 26 years.
Everything else in life I consider noise, work, house, cars, everything.
It s s all a matter of perspective really, I am not wealthy. But I don t envy anyone on here, or anyone I meet in life really.
Thats not arrogant, that s being content.
Nice work mate and delighted you've come through the other side.Everyone is blasé about life until you nearly lose it.
My thing is spending time with my Wife and watching my children develop, they are both young adults now and the journey has been great.
My marriage since my illness has gone back to being almost newlyweds, we have been together 26 years.
Everything else in life I consider noise, work, house, cars, everything.
It s s all a matter of perspective really, I am not wealthy. But I don t envy anyone on here, or anyone I meet in life really.
Thats not arrogant, that s being content.
Quattr04. said:
It s that tons of year when my seasonal depression is at its absolute worst and I really do question what the point in life is, all I do is get up and go to work, come home, feed myself and go to bed, waiting for the weekend, when it s pissing it down, so I can t spend time outside, work just feels pointless, I have a well paying skilled job but I feel like it adds nothing to society I m just on earth to earn money, buy things, travel 4 weeks a year to escape the depression and pay tax.
What do people do to feel purpose in life? How did you find yours?
Have kids. What do people do to feel purpose in life? How did you find yours?
Edited by Quattr04. on Monday 9th March 22:30
I genuinely don't know what the point in life is beyond 30 something without them.
f
k getting up everyday in this slowly dwindling spiral of existential hell without their little twinkling eyes filled with innocence and hope to keep me doing it. A slightly bigger house or a slightly faster car, a nicer watch or a more luxurious holiday isn't going to give more than a fleeting respite of happiness, that's for sure.
No need for all the content childless people to respond, I am aware they exist too.
g3org3y said:
Quattr04. said:
It s that tons of year when my seasonal depression is at its absolute worst and I really do question what the point in life is, all I do is get up and go to work, come home, feed myself and go to bed, waiting for the weekend, when it s pissing it down, so I can t spend time outside, work just feels pointless, I have a well paying skilled job but I feel like it adds nothing to society I m just on earth to earn money, buy things, travel 4 weeks a year to escape the depression and pay tax.
What do people do to feel purpose in life? How did you find yours?
I'm reminded of your recent thread...What do people do to feel purpose in life? How did you find yours?
StevieBee said:
I think it finds you.
Taking my last point above, I'm blessed with creative capacity. My 'trade' is Graphic Design but has evolved to encompass a wider gamut of creative endeavour; filmmaking, photography, campaigns, etc. I work for public sector clients on campaigns and initiatives that seek to bring about social and environmental change. So I get two bursts of purpose; one when I see an ad on a billboard or TV and think - "ha! I did that!" and then knowing that what I have done has had a positive impact somewhere and knowing that I did that as well. And all of this starts with a blank screen or a blank bit of paper. Nothing happens until I start to think about it and turn thoughts into something tangible.
None of this I hunted out. I recognised some opportunities along the way and seized them.
I think the ability to recognise purpose is more important than pursuing it. As above, there's positive purpose in everyone's lives, you just have to recognise that it's there and what it is.
I don't dislike paying tax. Taking my last point above, I'm blessed with creative capacity. My 'trade' is Graphic Design but has evolved to encompass a wider gamut of creative endeavour; filmmaking, photography, campaigns, etc. I work for public sector clients on campaigns and initiatives that seek to bring about social and environmental change. So I get two bursts of purpose; one when I see an ad on a billboard or TV and think - "ha! I did that!" and then knowing that what I have done has had a positive impact somewhere and knowing that I did that as well. And all of this starts with a blank screen or a blank bit of paper. Nothing happens until I start to think about it and turn thoughts into something tangible.
None of this I hunted out. I recognised some opportunities along the way and seized them.
I think the ability to recognise purpose is more important than pursuing it. As above, there's positive purpose in everyone's lives, you just have to recognise that it's there and what it is.
I'm sometimes unhappy with how it's allocated but I'd absolutely hate living in a society that pays no tax bearing in mind I'd struggle to afford a cardboard box to live in in somewhere like Monaco.
Personally, there are two things that give me purpose. My kids and my family as a whole, I genuinely love being a dad and no it's not always easy, it can be tiring and it can be thankless but for those times when it's good and you see your kids developing, it's amazing.
The other thing I find is taking pleasure in the small things. I go out and mow the lawns, feel satisfied I've done something worthwhile. I clean the cars, same feeling.
Although I'm 43, not young, not old, I do try and appreciate things. Assuming I live to 83, that's only 40 more summers, 40 more Christmas', with my kids that may only be 5-10 family holidays.
Thing is, we're all different so what works for us is an individual thing and it changes and evolves with age.
Try and have fun!
The other thing I find is taking pleasure in the small things. I go out and mow the lawns, feel satisfied I've done something worthwhile. I clean the cars, same feeling.
Although I'm 43, not young, not old, I do try and appreciate things. Assuming I live to 83, that's only 40 more summers, 40 more Christmas', with my kids that may only be 5-10 family holidays.
Thing is, we're all different so what works for us is an individual thing and it changes and evolves with age.
Try and have fun!
I struggle massively with motivation.
However, (the now) Mrs Sway has provided the appropriate internal kick up the arse for coming up to two decades. Right now I'm struggling (minor but impactful health issues, contract 'fun', Mrs Sway is having a major flare up of her disability) - but between keeping her sane and the dog (suppose the kids are alright too) I'm coping.
Not necessarily doing the things I should, but doing things - which is a win.
Then, for the first time in a very long time I've developed a path to achieving a better life for all of us. It's going to take a st load of work, and not a small amount of financial pain/risk but if it comes off over the next year/18 months it'll all be worth it.
The day I finish up in the workshop to see the Mrs sat in a lovely conservatory overlooking a pleasant garden surrounded by a veritable rainforest of indoor plants will be the day I have a very rare drop of bourbon to celebrate.
Ultimately, the tldr is I struggle with 'internal' motivation, but get immense satisfaction and self worth from delivering against 'external' motivators.
However, (the now) Mrs Sway has provided the appropriate internal kick up the arse for coming up to two decades. Right now I'm struggling (minor but impactful health issues, contract 'fun', Mrs Sway is having a major flare up of her disability) - but between keeping her sane and the dog (suppose the kids are alright too) I'm coping.
Not necessarily doing the things I should, but doing things - which is a win.
Then, for the first time in a very long time I've developed a path to achieving a better life for all of us. It's going to take a s
t load of work, and not a small amount of financial pain/risk but if it comes off over the next year/18 months it'll all be worth it. The day I finish up in the workshop to see the Mrs sat in a lovely conservatory overlooking a pleasant garden surrounded by a veritable rainforest of indoor plants will be the day I have a very rare drop of bourbon to celebrate.
Ultimately, the tldr is I struggle with 'internal' motivation, but get immense satisfaction and self worth from delivering against 'external' motivators.
_Rodders_ said:
I don't dislike paying tax.
I'm sometimes unhappy with how it's allocated but I'd absolutely hate living in a society that pays no tax bearing in mind I'd struggle to afford a cardboard box to live in in somewhere like Monaco.
My Mrs is from Scandinavia and this is where the difference is very noticeable. High levels of tax but used efficiently and for the benefit of society as a whole. I'm sometimes unhappy with how it's allocated but I'd absolutely hate living in a society that pays no tax bearing in mind I'd struggle to afford a cardboard box to live in in somewhere like Monaco.
They trust in their politicians to spend their taxes wisely and they have a very supportive view of the population, as well as far fewer hangers on claiming every benefit under the sun. As such, paying tax is almost something to be proud of for the benefit of the nation.
I can’t say I share the same view as a U.K. taxpayer.
My purpose is to run around after and provide opportunities for my kids 
Career - worked in the same profession for 20 odd years and am about as far as I want to go, or have interest in. I work from home, can run after my kids without needing any support. Working purpose for me has been achieved at this stage until kids are self sufficient and driving in about 6-8 years time.
Life - my purpose is to do things I enjoy (cars, cycle, run), keep myself as fit as I can, try and eat healthy and mindfully (i.e. not processed, aim for nutritional benefit). Try and teach my kids the same. Continue to teach myself how to do things i.e. DIY. Aim to support my wife as best I can. Be decent to the people around me and support as best I can.
That's about it really.
Career - worked in the same profession for 20 odd years and am about as far as I want to go, or have interest in. I work from home, can run after my kids without needing any support. Working purpose for me has been achieved at this stage until kids are self sufficient and driving in about 6-8 years time.
Life - my purpose is to do things I enjoy (cars, cycle, run), keep myself as fit as I can, try and eat healthy and mindfully (i.e. not processed, aim for nutritional benefit). Try and teach my kids the same. Continue to teach myself how to do things i.e. DIY. Aim to support my wife as best I can. Be decent to the people around me and support as best I can.
That's about it really.
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