Discussion
I really need some advice on how to even bring this up to my doctor and to people I know.
I’m in my early 40s and truthfully I’ve not felt good for a while and it’s been getting progressively worse, I really am feeling low and irritable all the time, I feel like I will never find or deserve happiness and while I’m not at the point where I actively don’t want to be here anymore, thoughts like-I have nothing to look forward to and maybe fast forwarding and skipping to the end and not having to carry on feeling like this for the next 30 ish years are ones that have entered my head and I’m self aware enough to know they’re not healthy.
I just really don’t know what to do to even try to get on the road to feeling better, I also feel there is such stigma attached to telling anyone how you’re really feeling that I’m scared of doing it.
I’m in my early 40s and truthfully I’ve not felt good for a while and it’s been getting progressively worse, I really am feeling low and irritable all the time, I feel like I will never find or deserve happiness and while I’m not at the point where I actively don’t want to be here anymore, thoughts like-I have nothing to look forward to and maybe fast forwarding and skipping to the end and not having to carry on feeling like this for the next 30 ish years are ones that have entered my head and I’m self aware enough to know they’re not healthy.
I just really don’t know what to do to even try to get on the road to feeling better, I also feel there is such stigma attached to telling anyone how you’re really feeling that I’m scared of doing it.
Badda said:
Book an appointment with your GP for low mood or depression. It s very much a part of the day to day workload.
This. I've had this conversation. Even verbalising how you're feeling will help, and then you'll have some options.
If you're in a financial position to do so, seeking out private talking therapy is really worth considering too. I'm biased because my wife is training in the field, but I'd specifically look for a psychodynamic counsellor if it were me.
MajorMantra said:
Badda said:
Book an appointment with your GP for low mood or depression. It s very much a part of the day to day workload.
This. I've had this conversation. Even verbalising how you're feeling will help, and then you'll have some options.
If you're in a financial position to do so, seeking out private talking therapy is really worth considering too. I'm biased because my wife is training in the field, but I'd specifically look for a psychodynamic counsellor if it were me.
I suffered with this, together with work related anxiety/stress. Spoke to my GP and was offered counselling and medication. Both helped significantly, but in addition, I also live quite close to a Buddhist temple and they offered meditation classes which were a bonus. Eventually, after 9 years I retired and very gradually, weaned myself off the medication (with GP approval/support). Still do the occasional meditation session, but otherwise I am fine.
OP when I discussed coming off medication with my GP, he explained that the meds had given me the chemical support I needed, but once I retired, the source of my depression/anxiety/stress had gone, so he gave the OK for my very gradual reduction in meds.
As others have said, by admitting that you think you have a problem, you have taken the first step. Do go to your GP. Discuss the situation and take their advice. Don’t be afraid of the meds, they will help.
Good luck
OP when I discussed coming off medication with my GP, he explained that the meds had given me the chemical support I needed, but once I retired, the source of my depression/anxiety/stress had gone, so he gave the OK for my very gradual reduction in meds.
As others have said, by admitting that you think you have a problem, you have taken the first step. Do go to your GP. Discuss the situation and take their advice. Don’t be afraid of the meds, they will help.
Good luck
Don't overthink it, just make the appointment. Your GP will know the best next steps for your area, what services are available etc.
It's important to just start the process immediately, if you feel up to it. You'll learn later (if you don't already know) that any self-care for depression has to happen when you have the capacity to do it (i.e. on the better days). If you wait till you really, really need help, you won't be able to. Depression does that to you, saps the motivation from you and stops you getting help when you need it most.
So if you feel right now like you might be able to get the ball rolling, just do it. Don't leave it. There is no shame in it, and no worry about whether you should or not, if you're wasting everyone's time, all the usual thoughts. Just forget all that, it's absolutely ok to call your GP today.
Good luck.
It's important to just start the process immediately, if you feel up to it. You'll learn later (if you don't already know) that any self-care for depression has to happen when you have the capacity to do it (i.e. on the better days). If you wait till you really, really need help, you won't be able to. Depression does that to you, saps the motivation from you and stops you getting help when you need it most.
So if you feel right now like you might be able to get the ball rolling, just do it. Don't leave it. There is no shame in it, and no worry about whether you should or not, if you're wasting everyone's time, all the usual thoughts. Just forget all that, it's absolutely ok to call your GP today.
Good luck.
GP and now the sun is getting out no matter how difficult it might seem to do so try to get outside and get some vitamin D and fresh air.
I think thankfully the "man up" thing is something you see and hear less and less and most people, certainly anyone sensible, realises it's just not as simple as that.
I think thankfully the "man up" thing is something you see and hear less and less and most people, certainly anyone sensible, realises it's just not as simple as that.
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-serv...
Here you go fella. You've taken the first step if you do this. It does get better I promise, but also it doesn't ever fully go away.
Here you go fella. You've taken the first step if you do this. It does get better I promise, but also it doesn't ever fully go away.
Thanks everyone for the advice.
I feel like even in my previous post I didn’t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I’ve been feeling.
I think it’s something I’ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I’ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I’ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don’t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like even in my previous post I didn’t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I’ve been feeling.
I think it’s something I’ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I’ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I’ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don’t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
EIRP26 said:
Thanks everyone for the advice.
I feel like even in my previous post I didn t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I ve been feeling.
I think it s something I ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep swimming man else you don't find the end of the tunnel, it is there.I feel like even in my previous post I didn t feel comfortable being transparent about how bad I ve been feeling.
I think it s something I ve been living with,undiagnosed for years, I ve known it deep down but have had glimmers of normality that have made me doubt that.
Being honest, I think a relationship ending a few months ago really has been the straw that broke the camels back and I ve felt a hundred times worse since, I really am getting no joy out of anything I used to enjoy, I feel like a robot, all I do is work, put a happy,normal face on for everyone else and then come home and get into bed where those invasive thoughts of emptiness, not ever being capable of feeling happy again and wanting the world swallow me up, they take over and at the moment I really don t feel like there will ever be any light at the end of the tunnel.
Have a serious chat with your GP about the option of anti depressants, they work for a great many people, it was my first port of call many years ago, they won’t solve everything overnight but they will give you a solid base to work from, then you can implement things like diet exercise and counseling etc
I found that two weeks sick spent bundled up against the bustard rain just walking along the towpath for five hours a day helped, just me chuntering, thinking, walking, looking at wildlife definitely helped initially. I found myself going to bed planning in detail all the stuff I would do tomorrow then waking up and spending two hours staring at the wall and trying to get my socks on. Horrible.
It's difficult to describe but to me it was like being in a deep well, looking up at the daylight and wanting to be in it but some sod had tied a bag of cement to my shoulders so everytime I tried to climb out of the darkness I just kept slipping back. Went on for months, then oh so slowly things started to improve, it was slow, and painful but I got there. I still dance occasionally on the rim of that well but I've not fallen down again. Yet.
It's difficult to describe but to me it was like being in a deep well, looking up at the daylight and wanting to be in it but some sod had tied a bag of cement to my shoulders so everytime I tried to climb out of the darkness I just kept slipping back. Went on for months, then oh so slowly things started to improve, it was slow, and painful but I got there. I still dance occasionally on the rim of that well but I've not fallen down again. Yet.
As others have said, start with the GP and if you have private medical care, you can go directly to them and they will get things rolling.
One thing - if you do get put on any type of medication, it takes a few weeks to kick in fully and sometimes your mood can get worse...but it does get better. Keep on keeping on!
One thing - if you do get put on any type of medication, it takes a few weeks to kick in fully and sometimes your mood can get worse...but it does get better. Keep on keeping on!
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