Wife thinks im nuts!
Discussion
Like most on here I love cars. It doesnt matter the age, engine size etc i can find the enjoyment in almost anything with four wheels. I love working out what everything does, wee upgrades here and there etc.
So. Why do I feel so cold with my latest acquisition? Chatting with the old man the other day and my wife scoffed when I suggested I hadn't yet bonded with it! Do others get this?
After years of driving cars that often fit the 'shed' description my wife and I were able to upgrade our cars. She picked hers, I picked mine. Both are 2nd hand etc - hers is deemed the family car. Its great and does exactly what its been bought for. Comfortable with a decent bit of power and fits us all in.
For me, I looked and waited for months. Eventually 'the' car id been looking for turned up. The perfect blend of style, performance and flexibility (estate) while being decent at the pumps. The car is bordering immaculate for its age and I really enjoyed the drive home.
Yet, since ive bought it in Nov ive not driven it much. Unlike prev cars where I'm in every nook and cranny ilearning everything , in this one ive learned what I need and not bothered with the rest! I worry about scratching it, dont want it getting 'salted' by the gritters or damaging the low profile alloys/tyres.
Am I destined for shed life? This car is great but I dont seem to be bonding! Or is it just that I need to wait for the better weather for the car to really shine?
So. Why do I feel so cold with my latest acquisition? Chatting with the old man the other day and my wife scoffed when I suggested I hadn't yet bonded with it! Do others get this?
After years of driving cars that often fit the 'shed' description my wife and I were able to upgrade our cars. She picked hers, I picked mine. Both are 2nd hand etc - hers is deemed the family car. Its great and does exactly what its been bought for. Comfortable with a decent bit of power and fits us all in.
For me, I looked and waited for months. Eventually 'the' car id been looking for turned up. The perfect blend of style, performance and flexibility (estate) while being decent at the pumps. The car is bordering immaculate for its age and I really enjoyed the drive home.
Yet, since ive bought it in Nov ive not driven it much. Unlike prev cars where I'm in every nook and cranny ilearning everything , in this one ive learned what I need and not bothered with the rest! I worry about scratching it, dont want it getting 'salted' by the gritters or damaging the low profile alloys/tyres.
Am I destined for shed life? This car is great but I dont seem to be bonding! Or is it just that I need to wait for the better weather for the car to really shine?
Whatever car it is, its probably new enough to be boring and just competent at what it does. Possibly too complex to really learn much about it or modify it too.
New cars can be very fast and stable, but also very quiet, insulate you from the experience of driving and you never get to their limits.
But go on, what car is it? My guess is a modern ish audi or Mercedes estate. Perhaps a volvo.
New cars can be very fast and stable, but also very quiet, insulate you from the experience of driving and you never get to their limits.
But go on, what car is it? My guess is a modern ish audi or Mercedes estate. Perhaps a volvo.
Doc_Love said:
ive not driven it much.
Give yourself an excuse to go for a road trip of some description.Pick some good tunes/radio and take yourself off through some of our green and pleasant lands for no other reason than you can.
Makes even crap cars into good friends.
Solo driving a diesel Fiat Multipla (honestly) over random Lancashire hillsides in late evening sunshine, to get to an event I was taking the place of my deceased brother for, remains one of my favourite driving memories.
Doc_Love said:
Am I destined for shed life? This car is great but I dont seem to be bonding! Or is it just that I need to wait for the better weather for the car to really shine?
I'm with you, some cars you just don't bond with and it can be what other people would call illogical things.
in part it's a case of expectation - we had a e91 BMW, nothing exotic.
- I'd had e46s with the same engine and thought they were great.
- I expected the new bmw to be a great drivers car and an improvement on the e46.
but I never got on with the e91, I didn't really like it, thought it was worse than the e46 and couldn't;t wait to be shot of it (although it was the wife's car and she kept it for 8 years)
got an f31 subsequently and still think it's a great car.
but I know there are lots of people on here who love an e90 /91 who would strongly disagree with me, but it really was a meh car for me.
conversely I've got a Honda eny1 at the moment, objectively not a great car, but got on a super cheap lease for general duties. it's been much better than I expected and I've quietly enjoyed it for the lat 2 years and for that reason bonded with it well (not that I'll miss it when it goes back ;-)
in part it's a case of expectation - we had a e91 BMW, nothing exotic.
- I'd had e46s with the same engine and thought they were great.
- I expected the new bmw to be a great drivers car and an improvement on the e46.
but I never got on with the e91, I didn't really like it, thought it was worse than the e46 and couldn't;t wait to be shot of it (although it was the wife's car and she kept it for 8 years)
got an f31 subsequently and still think it's a great car.
but I know there are lots of people on here who love an e90 /91 who would strongly disagree with me, but it really was a meh car for me.
conversely I've got a Honda eny1 at the moment, objectively not a great car, but got on a super cheap lease for general duties. it's been much better than I expected and I've quietly enjoyed it for the lat 2 years and for that reason bonded with it well (not that I'll miss it when it goes back ;-)
I had this with the RS5, it is a great car and should have been ideal for me, but I just did not bond with it. I really like it and it's great to take on a trip, but I don't love it. I don't drive it just because it's there, even though this time of year the Quattro system combined with good rubber does mean its very sure footed.
My wife absolutely loves it, so I gave it to her and now have an AMG. It is absolutely not suited to the roads this time of year and I love it. It's a little but unhinged.
My wife absolutely loves it, so I gave it to her and now have an AMG. It is absolutely not suited to the roads this time of year and I love it. It's a little but unhinged.
Thanks all. Seems I am not quite some mad! I dont think its buyers remorse - I do love the look/stance of the car, its not too new to be totally dull (2013) and its bought outright so im not bemoaning a direct debit leaving the account every month.
I reckon the more I drive it the more I'll enjoy it. At the moment it's getting used in a cycle on my dull commute as we bought my daughter a car to learn in and im preferring to use that- more because the fear of hitting a pothole/destroying a tyre and keeping the miles off mine!
Once the weather improves and roads are repaired I'll be out in it more i suspect. Got a few road trips planned in Easter. Hopefully that'll ignight a spark!
I reckon the more I drive it the more I'll enjoy it. At the moment it's getting used in a cycle on my dull commute as we bought my daughter a car to learn in and im preferring to use that- more because the fear of hitting a pothole/destroying a tyre and keeping the miles off mine!
Once the weather improves and roads are repaired I'll be out in it more i suspect. Got a few road trips planned in Easter. Hopefully that'll ignight a spark!
I usually drive end-of-life bangers (GTE was £175, rust, ABS fault, Saab £850 airbag light, superb Corsa SRI CDTi £400 minor bump write-off, 50k later sold for £500) and get every drop of useful life from them.
I recently spent the most I've ever paid on a *slightly* less sheddy car (£5k but still 10 years old) to get ULEZ, heated seats, steering wheel etc).
I do love the car but I find myself resenting it for costing so much in the first place. And, being a decade old it still needed some repairs and has the odd scratch and ding, and will obviously get worse the more it's used, no matter how careful I am. Yes I can still afford to "walk away" if it were to totally break, get stolen or catch fire, but I do love the feeling of driving a car most would scrap.
So maybe it's just that. Either commit and try to use it and bond more, or get rid and get back into sheds and use the money for something else....
I recently spent the most I've ever paid on a *slightly* less sheddy car (£5k but still 10 years old) to get ULEZ, heated seats, steering wheel etc).
I do love the car but I find myself resenting it for costing so much in the first place. And, being a decade old it still needed some repairs and has the odd scratch and ding, and will obviously get worse the more it's used, no matter how careful I am. Yes I can still afford to "walk away" if it were to totally break, get stolen or catch fire, but I do love the feeling of driving a car most would scrap.
So maybe it's just that. Either commit and try to use it and bond more, or get rid and get back into sheds and use the money for something else....
te roads. bus_ter said:
Do you look back at it when you walk away? Sure sign you've bought the right car.
I've done that with most of my cars, because I generally liked how they looked. They weren't necessarily what I really wanted though. I couldn't afford cars I really wanted until my 40s hit.OP hasn't mentioned the car yet.....
So, we have:
The perfect blend of style, performance and flexibility (estate) while being decent at the pumps.
Estate (just in case that wasn't obvious in the previous sentence)
Has low profile alloys/tyres
Appealing (to the OP at least) in its look and stance
2013 model
Purchased outright.
Hyundai i40?
Some sort of Skoda?
Volvo V60 Polestar with the Ohlins suspension and all the other trimmings?
MB CLS63 shooting brake?
Place yourbets guesses!!
So, we have:
The perfect blend of style, performance and flexibility (estate) while being decent at the pumps.
Estate (just in case that wasn't obvious in the previous sentence)
Has low profile alloys/tyres
Appealing (to the OP at least) in its look and stance
2013 model
Purchased outright.
Hyundai i40?
Some sort of Skoda?
Volvo V60 Polestar with the Ohlins suspension and all the other trimmings?
MB CLS63 shooting brake?
Place your
They're emotional purchases. They're not logical or rational. We can make a business case or justification for getting a new to us car or motorcycle, get emotionally involved and then when we get it we can feel disappointed or underwhelmed.
I bought a new motorcycle in 2023 partially on the justification of 'Just do it, you're spending too much time prevaricating and doing analysis paralysis'. A decent PX offer and a free servicing promotion made the decision easier.
I like the bike, but I applied logic. I didn't want a bike creating any problems and it hasn't. The dealer created at least three problems. the motorcycle was a sensible choice and I am comfortable with that.
It's just a thing but it's enabled me to spend time with relatives and have nice journeys I may not have otherwise had. Riding the motorcycle helps my mental health and well being.
I bought a new motorcycle in 2023 partially on the justification of 'Just do it, you're spending too much time prevaricating and doing analysis paralysis'. A decent PX offer and a free servicing promotion made the decision easier.
I like the bike, but I applied logic. I didn't want a bike creating any problems and it hasn't. The dealer created at least three problems. the motorcycle was a sensible choice and I am comfortable with that.
It's just a thing but it's enabled me to spend time with relatives and have nice journeys I may not have otherwise had. Riding the motorcycle helps my mental health and well being.
Edited by carinaman on Thursday 22 January 10:49
I get the total bonding thing with a car and it makes total sense.
When the kids were younger, we purchased a brand-new Nissan X-Trail CVT Tekna. That car was a brilliant family car, it was faultless and I cannot speak highly enough about it.
But…
It was soulless. It had no character. It just worked - in the same way that a dishwasher works or an air-fryer works.
When the kids were younger, we purchased a brand-new Nissan X-Trail CVT Tekna. That car was a brilliant family car, it was faultless and I cannot speak highly enough about it.
But…
It was soulless. It had no character. It just worked - in the same way that a dishwasher works or an air-fryer works.
Over the years I've had two cars (Astra and Civic VTi) I just didn't get on with, both were sold in a matter of months, weird some cars you like and others not at all.
What's worse is you sell one that you think you don't like then miss it like hell once its gone.
What's worse is you sell one that you think you don't like then miss it like hell once its gone.
Edited by Clad-Hach on Thursday 22 January 11:37
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