Accepting everything is just a bit, well... @#£*!
Discussion
Good morning, all
A long time peruser and occasional contributor to these pages, I know the propensity to moan about everyday life and the frustrations we all experience is often attributed to ones maturing in life (getting old) and, the less tolerant we become.
Now comfortably into my 40's the realisation that I'm slowly turning into my completely impatient father that moaned about the sort of thing 20 years ago I now find myself thinking, whilst at the material time wondering why on earth they let them bother him.
I guess the sands of time change our perspective on all aspects of life but, I honestly find myself increasingly at a loss as to just how s
t ALOT of stuff is. To be more specific, the way people conduct themselves and how businesses are set up annoy the crap out of you when you're forced to interact with them.
Every time I'm in a queue, whether it be at a petrol station, a bank, whatever, it strikes me that half the people in front of me are so preoccupied with what's going on with their 'socials' (a n other topic and downfall of society) that the entire process takes twice as long as it should.
Last weekend, whilst cleaning out some ACO channel drainage on the front drive, as you do, I dashed over the local garden centre to grab a trowel. In, locate item, straight to till, only 2 customers ahead, this wont be so bad I thought. Couple already at till despite taking an age to unload contents of basket get through ok. Now it's Mr and Mrs Thicko who are seemingly so preoccupied with rearranging the contents of their trolley they fail to even recognise they're up.
The young teenage girl behind the jump too naive or polite to intervene, a further minute or so passes with blissful ignorance on my fellow patrons behalf, although they have now turned their attention to the raft of Xmas tat displayed in the lead up to the till area. I walk straight past them, hand trowel to said staff member and with card already in hand, tap and Foxtrot Oscar without so much as a raised head by the couple now behind me.
3 days a week I commute from Wokingham to Kidlington, a Circa 120 mile round trip along the M4 and up the wretched A34. The latter always a log jam of HGV's, you repeatedly sigh when a mile ahead you see an Artic pull out in front of another, up an incline, watching it for another mile 'overtake' as the traffic between you and said Lorry concertina's. The former, more often than not presenting the opportunity to sit in lane 1 undertaking dozens of cars at time sitting in the middle lane oblivious to their surroundings.
A couple of months back I had to endure arduous process of contacting 'Sky' over faulty broadband, a drawn out affair which inevitably means you have to get to the final throws of cancelling all subscriptions before any meaningful action is taken. Hours and hours wasted on hold, speaking to someone 1000's of miles away who wont detract from their script.
On the rare occasions where the missus subjects us to Live TV, you're subjected to drivel only interrupted by Ads with injury claims specialists wearing Lion heads??? expressing their determination to ACT FOR YOU!
In an otherwise relatively happy position, Good job, nice house/cars, happy and healthy beautiful 4 year old daughter and loving wife, I realise that (sadly), the way avoid my frustrations and disbelief at what goes on around me, is to become more insular and spend time surrounded by a very small number of people and quality products that do what their supposed to.
Bliss for me is spending the majority of a Sunday jet-washing the patio and drive, cleaning the cars, using a good set of knives to prepare dinner, and sitting in front of the log burner watching the flames with a glass of Red, whilst the missus watches someone eating a Camels testicle in a jungle and doom scrolling through Instagram.
Despite being an outgoing and largely sociable being, I'm learning to keep the outside out, and controlling my environment where possible so that there's less to piss me off
Happy Friday!
A long time peruser and occasional contributor to these pages, I know the propensity to moan about everyday life and the frustrations we all experience is often attributed to ones maturing in life (getting old) and, the less tolerant we become.
Now comfortably into my 40's the realisation that I'm slowly turning into my completely impatient father that moaned about the sort of thing 20 years ago I now find myself thinking, whilst at the material time wondering why on earth they let them bother him.
I guess the sands of time change our perspective on all aspects of life but, I honestly find myself increasingly at a loss as to just how s
t ALOT of stuff is. To be more specific, the way people conduct themselves and how businesses are set up annoy the crap out of you when you're forced to interact with them.Every time I'm in a queue, whether it be at a petrol station, a bank, whatever, it strikes me that half the people in front of me are so preoccupied with what's going on with their 'socials' (a n other topic and downfall of society) that the entire process takes twice as long as it should.
Last weekend, whilst cleaning out some ACO channel drainage on the front drive, as you do, I dashed over the local garden centre to grab a trowel. In, locate item, straight to till, only 2 customers ahead, this wont be so bad I thought. Couple already at till despite taking an age to unload contents of basket get through ok. Now it's Mr and Mrs Thicko who are seemingly so preoccupied with rearranging the contents of their trolley they fail to even recognise they're up.
The young teenage girl behind the jump too naive or polite to intervene, a further minute or so passes with blissful ignorance on my fellow patrons behalf, although they have now turned their attention to the raft of Xmas tat displayed in the lead up to the till area. I walk straight past them, hand trowel to said staff member and with card already in hand, tap and Foxtrot Oscar without so much as a raised head by the couple now behind me.
3 days a week I commute from Wokingham to Kidlington, a Circa 120 mile round trip along the M4 and up the wretched A34. The latter always a log jam of HGV's, you repeatedly sigh when a mile ahead you see an Artic pull out in front of another, up an incline, watching it for another mile 'overtake' as the traffic between you and said Lorry concertina's. The former, more often than not presenting the opportunity to sit in lane 1 undertaking dozens of cars at time sitting in the middle lane oblivious to their surroundings.
A couple of months back I had to endure arduous process of contacting 'Sky' over faulty broadband, a drawn out affair which inevitably means you have to get to the final throws of cancelling all subscriptions before any meaningful action is taken. Hours and hours wasted on hold, speaking to someone 1000's of miles away who wont detract from their script.
On the rare occasions where the missus subjects us to Live TV, you're subjected to drivel only interrupted by Ads with injury claims specialists wearing Lion heads??? expressing their determination to ACT FOR YOU!
In an otherwise relatively happy position, Good job, nice house/cars, happy and healthy beautiful 4 year old daughter and loving wife, I realise that (sadly), the way avoid my frustrations and disbelief at what goes on around me, is to become more insular and spend time surrounded by a very small number of people and quality products that do what their supposed to.
Bliss for me is spending the majority of a Sunday jet-washing the patio and drive, cleaning the cars, using a good set of knives to prepare dinner, and sitting in front of the log burner watching the flames with a glass of Red, whilst the missus watches someone eating a Camels testicle in a jungle and doom scrolling through Instagram.
Despite being an outgoing and largely sociable being, I'm learning to keep the outside out, and controlling my environment where possible so that there's less to piss me off
Happy Friday!
Its not getting older, its you.
Things like traffic, shop queues and other meaningless st wont remotely bother me.
As I have got older, I have become a more rounded person and a far better person.
Whinny older people are people I avoid, I am just not into the petty drama of a middle aged manchild.
My Dad is like this, he is a man I keep at arms length, I can barely stand to be around him tbh. Emotional vampire.
PH is full of them, I generally stay in my own little corner and wonder what the hell these people would do if they had real problems in life.
Things like traffic, shop queues and other meaningless s
t wont remotely bother me.As I have got older, I have become a more rounded person and a far better person.
Whinny older people are people I avoid, I am just not into the petty drama of a middle aged manchild.
My Dad is like this, he is a man I keep at arms length, I can barely stand to be around him tbh. Emotional vampire.
PH is full of them, I generally stay in my own little corner and wonder what the hell these people would do if they had real problems in life.
TBF to the HGVs, they have to overtake each other, because their speed limiters keep them within a very small engine torque range, If one is even slightly faster, it will eventually catch the other and must overtake rather than brake, otherwise it loses momentum by being in an unmatched torque range and fuel efficiency is the other issue.
getting that speed back in a fully loaded truck uphill is difficult and wastes fuel even more.
if they all followed each other the one at the back would do around 2mph causing more backlog.
Hope that lifts some of your misery.
getting that speed back in a fully loaded truck uphill is difficult and wastes fuel even more.
if they all followed each other the one at the back would do around 2mph causing more backlog.
Hope that lifts some of your misery.
JSP440 said:
TBF to the HGVs, they have to overtake each other, because their speed limiters keep them within a very small engine torque range, If one is even slightly faster, it will eventually catch the other and must overtake rather than brake, otherwise it loses momentum by being in an unmatched torque range and fuel efficiency is the other issue.
getting that speed back in a fully loaded truck uphill is difficult and wastes fuel even more.
if they all followed each other the one at the back would do around 2mph causing more backlog.
Hope that lifts some of your misery.
Thanks... I like learning new stuff and that explanation is a good one!getting that speed back in a fully loaded truck uphill is difficult and wastes fuel even more.
if they all followed each other the one at the back would do around 2mph causing more backlog.
Hope that lifts some of your misery.
I'm 100% like the OP, the only difference is I usually internalise everything and am generally pleasant and courteous to everyone I interact with, whilst stewing on the inside.
This could well be like shouting into an echo chmaber here on PH with the demographic we have, so I'm sure most of us will be able to relate.
Sad to say, but I've largely given up. It all seems so pointless to me.
This could well be like shouting into an echo chmaber here on PH with the demographic we have, so I'm sure most of us will be able to relate.
Sad to say, but I've largely given up. It all seems so pointless to me.
It's very easy to focus on specific things and compare how they were in the past or how you expect them to be and consider them to be st. I'd likely agree with you on many things.
And you're also right that age shifts your tolerances on many things. As the saying goes, as one grows older your broad mind and narrow waist swap places.
As we get older, our frame of reference expands considerably and this skews our perceptions of the past. So when we were in our 20s, we only two decades of like to draw from and being in your 20s is great fun. That doesn't mean that things were better when you were in your 20s, just that for you, they were.
But....
I think it's important to step back and look at the bigger picture. When you do that, you find that the 'net' position we find ourselves in today is significantly better than what went before.
There was also a thread here a few week back about older people refusing to engage with modern things - technology, music, etc... This plays a big part in our perceptions of things. I'm 58 and have friends of a similar age who refuse to use a smart phone for no reason that they can properly articulate yet then moan about all the things that a smart phone would make a lot easier or efficient.
It easy to become annoyed and pissed off at things.
It's also easy not to.
If people stopped watching the programmes you dislike, scroll through their social media less or refrain from many of the other things you mentioned, it would make not one jot of difference to your life. Not one.
As a great 80s band once said (or sung).... Life's What You Make it!
t. I'd likely agree with you on many things.And you're also right that age shifts your tolerances on many things. As the saying goes, as one grows older your broad mind and narrow waist swap places.
As we get older, our frame of reference expands considerably and this skews our perceptions of the past. So when we were in our 20s, we only two decades of like to draw from and being in your 20s is great fun. That doesn't mean that things were better when you were in your 20s, just that for you, they were.
But....
I think it's important to step back and look at the bigger picture. When you do that, you find that the 'net' position we find ourselves in today is significantly better than what went before.
There was also a thread here a few week back about older people refusing to engage with modern things - technology, music, etc... This plays a big part in our perceptions of things. I'm 58 and have friends of a similar age who refuse to use a smart phone for no reason that they can properly articulate yet then moan about all the things that a smart phone would make a lot easier or efficient.
It easy to become annoyed and pissed off at things.
It's also easy not to.
If people stopped watching the programmes you dislike, scroll through their social media less or refrain from many of the other things you mentioned, it would make not one jot of difference to your life. Not one.
As a great 80s band once said (or sung).... Life's What You Make it!
StuntmanMike said:
Its not getting older, its you.
Things like traffic, shop queues and other meaningless st wont remotely bother me.
As I have got older, I have become a more rounded person and a far better person.
Whinny older people are people I avoid, I am just not into the petty drama of a middle aged manchild.
My Dad is like this, he is a man I keep at arms length, I can barely stand to be around him tbh. Emotional vampire.
PH is full of them, I generally stay in my own little corner and wonder what the hell these people would do if they had real problems in life.
I've had my fair share of real problems... recently in fact. It's more a light-hearted set of observations for clarity.Things like traffic, shop queues and other meaningless s
t wont remotely bother me.As I have got older, I have become a more rounded person and a far better person.
Whinny older people are people I avoid, I am just not into the petty drama of a middle aged manchild.
My Dad is like this, he is a man I keep at arms length, I can barely stand to be around him tbh. Emotional vampire.
PH is full of them, I generally stay in my own little corner and wonder what the hell these people would do if they had real problems in life.
But, Congratulations.
Mr Ben said:
JSP440 said:
TBF to the HGVs, they have to overtake each other, because their speed limiters keep them within a very small engine torque range, If one is even slightly faster, it will eventually catch the other and must overtake rather than brake, otherwise it loses momentum by being in an unmatched torque range and fuel efficiency is the other issue.
getting that speed back in a fully loaded truck uphill is difficult and wastes fuel even more.
if they all followed each other the one at the back would do around 2mph causing more backlog.
Hope that lifts some of your misery.
Thanks... I like learning new stuff and that explanation is a good one!getting that speed back in a fully loaded truck uphill is difficult and wastes fuel even more.
if they all followed each other the one at the back would do around 2mph causing more backlog.
Hope that lifts some of your misery.
Mr Ben said:
StuntmanMike said:
Its not getting older, its you.
Things like traffic, shop queues and other meaningless st wont remotely bother me.
As I have got older, I have become a more rounded person and a far better person.
Whinny older people are people I avoid, I am just not into the petty drama of a middle aged manchild.
My Dad is like this, he is a man I keep at arms length, I can barely stand to be around him tbh. Emotional vampire.
PH is full of them, I generally stay in my own little corner and wonder what the hell these people would do if they had real problems in life.
I've had my fair share of real problems... recently in fact. It's more a light-hearted set of observations for clarity.Things like traffic, shop queues and other meaningless s
t wont remotely bother me.As I have got older, I have become a more rounded person and a far better person.
Whinny older people are people I avoid, I am just not into the petty drama of a middle aged manchild.
My Dad is like this, he is a man I keep at arms length, I can barely stand to be around him tbh. Emotional vampire.
PH is full of them, I generally stay in my own little corner and wonder what the hell these people would do if they had real problems in life.
But, Congratulations.
It took me decades to change from an frankly quite unpleasant chap to being laid back, and when you get there, it’s bloody great.
I would note however, I am a cancer survivor, that really changes your perspective on things.
You got this my dude.
PS for the record, I am mid fifties.
StuntmanMike said:
Just try to see the positives in life, sounds like you have a good life, its a mindset.
It took me decades to change from an frankly quite unpleasant chap to being laid back, and when you get there, it s bloody great.
I would note however, I am a cancer survivor, that really changes your perspective on things.
You got this my dude.
PS for the record, I am mid fifties.
It took me decades to change from an frankly quite unpleasant chap to being laid back, and when you get there, it s bloody great.
I would note however, I am a cancer survivor, that really changes your perspective on things.
You got this my dude.
PS for the record, I am mid fifties.
I do find it hard not to let it bother me.
Is it a 40's thing or are things genuinely getting worse?
Litter really bugs me. The state people leave trains when there must be atleast 3 bins per carriage, absolute fking scrubbers, It can't even be a small minority, it must be a significant minority at the very least.
Walked into a waiting room yesterday atleast 2 of the guys sitting in there had BOTH hands fully down their pants, when did it become acceptable to sit in a public place with your hand in your pants?
It's not even like coming off SM will fix everything, I see maddening st every single day with my own eyes.
Is it a 40's thing or are things genuinely getting worse?
Litter really bugs me. The state people leave trains when there must be atleast 3 bins per carriage, absolute f
king scrubbers, It can't even be a small minority, it must be a significant minority at the very least. Walked into a waiting room yesterday atleast 2 of the guys sitting in there had BOTH hands fully down their pants, when did it become acceptable to sit in a public place with your hand in your pants?
It's not even like coming off SM will fix everything, I see maddening s
t every single day with my own eyes. Peterpetrole said:
Mr Ben said:
JSP440 said:
TBF to the HGVs, they have to overtake each other, because their speed limiters keep them within a very small engine torque range, If one is even slightly faster, it will eventually catch the other and must overtake rather than brake, otherwise it loses momentum by being in an unmatched torque range and fuel efficiency is the other issue.
getting that speed back in a fully loaded truck uphill is difficult and wastes fuel even more.
if they all followed each other the one at the back would do around 2mph causing more backlog.
Hope that lifts some of your misery.
Thanks... I like learning new stuff and that explanation is a good one!getting that speed back in a fully loaded truck uphill is difficult and wastes fuel even more.
if they all followed each other the one at the back would do around 2mph causing more backlog.
Hope that lifts some of your misery.
I agree, some things are better, but I think the majority of things are a little worse.
Driving - there were 27m cars on UK roads when I passed my test, there are 42m now and there's little political appetite to increase capacity. Frankly even if there was, the areas we need it most (towns and cities) there's just not enough room to do so. Driving used to be a joy, the freedom of personal motorised transport. Sadly, we all enjoyed it so much we bult our lives around always being able to drive where we wanted to go and now, when it's becoming more and more difficult to do, we don't want to go back to how things were before, most of us don't even remember them. So we're stuck, frustrated, going no where. At least Trains have clawed back a lot of inter-city travel, but that's over-subscribed now. Gone are the days I'd spend 2 hours to go to a meeting, it's 3 or 4 now and I can be on Teams in 20 seconds.
Shops and other public spaces - there are 12 million more people in the UK now than there were in 2000. We haven't built any new towns. Retailers are always pushing the margins, a few fewer staff means a penny off a tin of beans, but you'll queue for it, and / or check-out yourself.
Politically and economically the West hasn't recovered from the 2008 banking crisis, let alone Covid. Most developed countries are heavily indebted and being battered by the interest payments. The few that aren't are in unique positions, either they're able to leverage themselves into holding others money (Luxemburg, Switzerland) or have massive oil reserves they sell to the rest of us.
We're stuck in a far more damaging Cold War with Russia & China than the last one. Sure it's a little less likely we'll all be vapourised because some nameless solder in a listening station can't see the blobs on his CRT screen is a glitch and not an invading army. Social Media and Cyber Crime has given foreign counties the perfect tools to attack us from within. Destabilise our economy and politics, not using Spies, but inflaming our prejudices, funneling money to the fringes. We're all too busy pointing fingers at the 'other side', thinking our chosen heroes are exempt from influence to see it. We do it to them of course, but they have a far tighter grip on power at home than we do. The people who could do something about it, they're too busy trying to work out how to use it to their own benefit.
Driving - there were 27m cars on UK roads when I passed my test, there are 42m now and there's little political appetite to increase capacity. Frankly even if there was, the areas we need it most (towns and cities) there's just not enough room to do so. Driving used to be a joy, the freedom of personal motorised transport. Sadly, we all enjoyed it so much we bult our lives around always being able to drive where we wanted to go and now, when it's becoming more and more difficult to do, we don't want to go back to how things were before, most of us don't even remember them. So we're stuck, frustrated, going no where. At least Trains have clawed back a lot of inter-city travel, but that's over-subscribed now. Gone are the days I'd spend 2 hours to go to a meeting, it's 3 or 4 now and I can be on Teams in 20 seconds.
Shops and other public spaces - there are 12 million more people in the UK now than there were in 2000. We haven't built any new towns. Retailers are always pushing the margins, a few fewer staff means a penny off a tin of beans, but you'll queue for it, and / or check-out yourself.
Politically and economically the West hasn't recovered from the 2008 banking crisis, let alone Covid. Most developed countries are heavily indebted and being battered by the interest payments. The few that aren't are in unique positions, either they're able to leverage themselves into holding others money (Luxemburg, Switzerland) or have massive oil reserves they sell to the rest of us.
We're stuck in a far more damaging Cold War with Russia & China than the last one. Sure it's a little less likely we'll all be vapourised because some nameless solder in a listening station can't see the blobs on his CRT screen is a glitch and not an invading army. Social Media and Cyber Crime has given foreign counties the perfect tools to attack us from within. Destabilise our economy and politics, not using Spies, but inflaming our prejudices, funneling money to the fringes. We're all too busy pointing fingers at the 'other side', thinking our chosen heroes are exempt from influence to see it. We do it to them of course, but they have a far tighter grip on power at home than we do. The people who could do something about it, they're too busy trying to work out how to use it to their own benefit.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff