Biggest ( funniest ) mismake you ever made
Discussion
Friend of GF ( I don't like the pretensious bitch, thats what makes it funny), she got a job for a PR company in London. Shes loving telling people how big her clients are, how much she makes, will now only go out with rich men blah blah blah, invites us to a big company party, GF wants to go, we go.
I stand there getting drunk, and watch a lady walking around with a withered hand ( early thirties, hard nosed looking, but attractive ), clock the hand think nothing of it. Watch my GF's friend say hello and a strange air in the room afterwards
Turns out Friend has realised that old little hand is the MD from america and only working for the UK side for 2 months it would be good networking to saying hello, strides up and graps this ladies hand and introduces herself. Gets to "I'm lea.." and then scream "urrrh" and throws the ladies hand away. Realising what her has just done she tries to grab her hand again say " on its fine it doesn't bother me".
Laugh ? I nearly shat myself, she was "resigned" the next week.
I stand there getting drunk, and watch a lady walking around with a withered hand ( early thirties, hard nosed looking, but attractive ), clock the hand think nothing of it. Watch my GF's friend say hello and a strange air in the room afterwards
Turns out Friend has realised that old little hand is the MD from america and only working for the UK side for 2 months it would be good networking to saying hello, strides up and graps this ladies hand and introduces herself. Gets to "I'm lea.." and then scream "urrrh" and throws the ladies hand away. Realising what her has just done she tries to grab her hand again say " on its fine it doesn't bother me".
Laugh ? I nearly shat myself, she was "resigned" the next week.
I love this, proper coffee meet laptop moment, her biggest mistake.
Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.
The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes.
The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.
One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter. Here's how it all went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventurous than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."
[ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ]
DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sara, shall we?"
(Touch tones.....ringing....)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sara, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sara: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"
Sara: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sara. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.
Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sara?"
Sara: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sara: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sara: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sara. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"
Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sara?"
Sara: "Well..."
DJ: Come on Sara.....where did you have it?
Sara: "Up the arse....."
Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.
The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes.
The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.
One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter. Here's how it all went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventurous than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."
[ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ]
DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sara, shall we?"
(Touch tones.....ringing....)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sara, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sara: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"
Sara: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sara. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.
Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sara?"
Sara: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sara: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sara: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sara. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"
Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sara?"
Sara: "Well..."
DJ: Come on Sara.....where did you have it?
Sara: "Up the arse....."
tampon said:
Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.
No they didn't
but the basis of the story is true: www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/newlywed.htm
pdV6 said:
Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.
No they didn't
www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/newlywed.htm
Well just p1ss on my chips why don't ya.
Sorry, bit off topic this, but has anyone ever heard the radio piece about ACDC (the band) where the guy was trying to spell ACDC? Don't know if it's true, but funny as 
.
Found it.... Brilliant: Radio Clip
>> Edited by up-the-dubs on Friday 7th October 16:57
. Found it.... Brilliant: Radio Clip
>> Edited by up-the-dubs on Friday 7th October 16:57
Not a big mistake, but funny. Years and years ago as a sales assistant in a very high class menswear store, I approached a customer looking at ties.
Me: Can I help you Sir?
Customer just glares at me.
Me (shocked at my mistake): Oh! i'm terribly sorry madam.
Customer: You were right the 1st time.
And another cracker, for which I am eternally sorry and mortified and embarrassed at. When meeting up with the PH group on the way to Le Mans this year, said Hi to Bob the Planner, then turned towards his freind Hugh and said "Is this your dad?".
Me: Can I help you Sir?
Customer just glares at me.
Me (shocked at my mistake): Oh! i'm terribly sorry madam.
Customer: You were right the 1st time.
And another cracker, for which I am eternally sorry and mortified and embarrassed at. When meeting up with the PH group on the way to Le Mans this year, said Hi to Bob the Planner, then turned towards his freind Hugh and said "Is this your dad?".
I made a million dollar mistake once... When laying siesmic survey cables on the seafloor I miscalculated by 1 measly groundstation. The two lines would not join, no matter how hard the captain tugged on it, so we had to go and retrieve the bloody lot, wasting about 12 hours of production. It was however my first day running the nav system, so they let me off! I never did it again!
Balmoral Green said:
Not a big mistake, but funny. Years and years ago as a sales assistant in a very high class menswear store, I approached a customer looking at ties.
Me: Can I help you Sir?
Customer just glares at me.
Me (shocked at my mistake): Oh! i'm terribly sorry madam.
Customer: You were right the 1st time.
Was this followed by lots toadying up to the customer and questions like:
'Were you with a lady last night sir? Did she want it sir? Ooh, suit you!'
-Balmoral Green years & years ago! 
>> Edited by baztard on Friday 7th October 17:38
it was a few years ago and i was on holiday with my stroppy,but 12 years younger gf. anyway we are by the pool chilling out and she storms off in a strop. i was reading something particularly gripping and was used to her behaviour. anyway sometime later she returns,but sits about 10 loungers away from me. so i play along and carry on reading my novel. funny thing was a little girl kept coming up to her and they seemed to be getting on really well. anyway i was going to the bar so i went over and said " do you want a drink you stroppy bitch ? " trouble was it was not my gf, but an american woman with her little girl. similar coloured bikini and hair colour.
luckily my gf turned up a little later to stop me looking like a total freak.
luckily my gf turned up a little later to stop me looking like a total freak.
jas xjr said:
it was a few years ago and i was on holiday with my stroppy,but 12 years younger gf. anyway we are by the pool chilling out and she storms off in a strop. i was reading something particularly gripping and was used to her behaviour. anyway sometime later she returns,but sits about 10 loungers away from me. so i play along and carry on reading my novel. funny thing was a little girl kept coming up to her and they seemed to be getting on really well. anyway i was going to the bar so i went over and said " do you want a drink you stroppy bitch ? " trouble was it was not my gf, but an american woman with her little girl. similar coloured bikini and hair colour.
luckily my gf turned up a little later to stop me looking like a total freak.
Excellent, the closest I've been to a keyboard/cup of tea unison in some time.
baztard said:
'Were you with a lady last night sir? Did she want it sir? Ooh, suit you!'
Hi Marcus, and yours is this no doubt
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4575898261&ru=http://search.ebay.co.uk:80/4575898261_W0QQfltZ9QQfromZR8QQfviZ1
Have Perrys got their leg in?
............. Balmoral Green said:
baztard said:
'Were you with a lady last night sir? Did she want it sir? Ooh, suit you!'
Hi Marcus, and yours is this no doubt
<a href="<a href="[url][url]http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4575898261
Have Perrys got their leg in?
Hi Warren
Had to take it off when a bloke rolled up with the buy it now in cash!
Sold to the guy with the big roll of fifties >> Edited by baztard on Friday 7th October 17:57
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