Whats your favourite saying/phrase/simile?

[AlexH]

Can be little pieces of wisdom or funny turns of phrase; classic or new; that you use alot or used to...seen a few here that amused me recently too...

'Shaking like a sh1tting dog'

'Sweating like Michael Jackson in a ToysRUs'

'More f*cked up than a chameleon crossing a kilt' (alledgedly said by Peter Sellers psychiatrist about him after his death!)

An old classic - 'You don't look at the mantlepiece while you're stoking the fire'

[B17NNS]

sweating like a rapist

[blindswelledrat]

Ive got a c0ck like a blind cobblers thumb

[PinkPanther]

'A little bit of blood never hurt anyone'

PP

[shadytree]

Have you seen the state of that 'Council gritter'

[funinthesun]

its only a flesh wound....


bones heal and chics dig scars...

F.U.B.A.R'ed

fck knuckle

and my fave, whilst making a pumping action on the end on ones nose with a clentched fist so to signify....

and this is quite good...


fck knows....(nose)


never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesnt die ( appologies.... bu ti think its funnny)


my body is a temple...I leave the shoes on the out side..

[simpo two]

At the end of the day - it gets dark.

[Oi_Oi_Savaloy]

I quite like 'Robert's your mother's brother' (bob's your uncle) and I read a funny one on here the other day 'sweating like Anne Frank in a cupboard'

[anhamgrimmar]

several sayings have cropped up at work:

fcksocks! (in dismay or in anger, as in fcksocks i've just hammered me thumb)

twunt! (in reference to someone who is both a TT and a Ct

[tonyhetherington]

wanky pants

[Einion Yrth]

'Well I'll be dipped in dogshit' as an expression of surprise.

[B17NNS]

stick a fork in me

im done

[nervous]

i know its juvenile, but i still love a good swear, me.

[wolves_wanderer]

"Shit the bed" as an explanation of suprise etc is a good'un

[nervous]

oooo and ">insert any group/ person/ thing here<? i shit 'em"

[B17NNS]

as slippery as a todger on the outstroke

[dds1]

I've often wanted to drown my sorrows, but I can't get my wife to come swimming.

[nervous]

fractionally off topic i know, but i mailed scoobz tuther day and asked him if 'he wouldnt mind helping me out with something?' and he replied 'you had me at minge'. that me laughing all day long.


needless to say i hadnt mentioned minge, but again the random use of a naughty word reduced me to tears. im basically the target demographic for Viz

[dangler]

When i was in America, i was watching some crap game called american football. After 2/8th back throw an appalling throw but some how managed a pass that lead to a try..
Commentator (deep south american accent) :
That pass was like a $10 hooker... it wasnt pretty but it did the job"

made me chortle anyway

[Tank Slapper]

If my aunt had bollox she's by my uncle.