Twins after one child
Discussion
My Wife and I have just returned, utterly shell shocked from her 12 week scan - we have a 3 year old Daughter, and were aiming for one more. Now we are going to have two. At once.
I don't think we have ever been so shocked as when the scanning lady said "there's two heartbeats".
Does anyone have any experience of twins after one child? We sort of got it sussed so thought we would hopefully breeze it with one more, but this puts a different spin on things. We are also both worried about our current child feeling left out.
From a PH point of view, I have to think about what to do with cars - I remember the crap that one child needed with her, now we will have three, and a f
k load of stuff for two of them. My Discovery 4 is probably ideal, but that is getting on and I'm terrified something expensive/beyond my skillset will break. Plus it isn't exactly tax/fuel efficient. We also have a Mercedes C Class estate, a Mini Countryman, and my beloved BMW E34 - which I will probably have to sell, along with the mini and the land rover.
Money isn't exactly flowing (having thankfully bought a larger house at the beginning of the year and mortgaging ourselves to the hilt) so chopping the disco in for a Disco 5 isn't an option. I have to work within the sale prices of what I can get for the Disco, Mini, and BMW although I'd like to keep something in reserve from their sale.
Arrrgggghhhhh I'm bloody terrified!!!
I don't think we have ever been so shocked as when the scanning lady said "there's two heartbeats".
Does anyone have any experience of twins after one child? We sort of got it sussed so thought we would hopefully breeze it with one more, but this puts a different spin on things. We are also both worried about our current child feeling left out.
From a PH point of view, I have to think about what to do with cars - I remember the crap that one child needed with her, now we will have three, and a f
k load of stuff for two of them. My Discovery 4 is probably ideal, but that is getting on and I'm terrified something expensive/beyond my skillset will break. Plus it isn't exactly tax/fuel efficient. We also have a Mercedes C Class estate, a Mini Countryman, and my beloved BMW E34 - which I will probably have to sell, along with the mini and the land rover. Money isn't exactly flowing (having thankfully bought a larger house at the beginning of the year and mortgaging ourselves to the hilt) so chopping the disco in for a Disco 5 isn't an option. I have to work within the sale prices of what I can get for the Disco, Mini, and BMW although I'd like to keep something in reserve from their sale.
Arrrgggghhhhh I'm bloody terrified!!!
Edited by Triumph Man on Monday 20th October 11:49
Triumph Man said:
My Wife and I have just returned, utterly shell shocked from her 12 week scan - we have a 3 year old Daughter, and were aiming for one more. Now we are going to have two. At once.
I don't think we have ever been so shocked as when the scanning lady said "there's two heartbeats".
Can't help you, but I have witnessed this very shellshock. When we went for our first scan for our first child (who is now 19) the couple coming out of the scanning room while we waited had just receieved the very same news as you. Their expressions were utterly priceless and something I'll remember for the rest of my life. I don't think we have ever been so shocked as when the scanning lady said "there's two heartbeats".
Congrats and good luck!
Puggit said:
Triumph Man said:
My Wife and I have just returned, utterly shell shocked from her 12 week scan - we have a 3 year old Daughter, and were aiming for one more. Now we are going to have two. At once.
I don't think we have ever been so shocked as when the scanning lady said "there's two heartbeats".
Can't help you, but I have witnessed this very shellshock. When we went for our first scan for our first child (who is now 19) the couple coming out of the scanning room while we waited had just receieved the very same news as you. Their expressions were utterly priceless and something I'll remember for the rest of my life. I don't think we have ever been so shocked as when the scanning lady said "there's two heartbeats".
Congrats and good luck!
As we walked out of the room I could see the other couples looking at our shellshocked faces haha!
Congrats!
First thing's first, check in here: https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... as there are a few twin parents and some good advice over the last few years.
I have twins and a younger sibling, so sort of the other-way-round to you, so I can't give much advice on the older sibling. However, for what it's worth from my own experience:
First thing's first, check in here: https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&... as there are a few twin parents and some good advice over the last few years.
I have twins and a younger sibling, so sort of the other-way-round to you, so I can't give much advice on the older sibling. However, for what it's worth from my own experience:
- Don't make a rash decision on cars just yet. Two babies does not equal twice as much stuff, and it's a very short period of time when you need to carry masses of stuff. The main things will be catering for a double buggy and two travel-cots if you're going overnight anywhere - if you're worried about the Disco, I'd suggest chopping it in for whatever Volvo XC90 you can get and hang onto the rest. I managed to hang onto my E39 and - with a bit of tetris - it wasn't that long before I could take all three kids out in it. They love being picked up from school/nursery in 'daddy's racing car' now
- Speaking of buggies - the Mountain Buggy Duet is good, robust, and folds down reasonably small (for a given value of double-buggy ). The seats lie flat so you don't need to get the massive bulky bassinets, which take up tons of bootspace.
- General twin stuff - if you think routine is important for one baby, it's doubly so for two. Get them to eat and sleep at the same time. Cannot stress this enough. Mine are 4, 4, and 3 now and watching them play together makes the hard first year or so very much worth it.
Firstly, congratulations!!
As a twin myself, and an uncle of 2 sets of twins, I can safely say don't panic.
Hard for the first year, but then once they are a little older, they will be good company for each other, especially 2-4 years old - they can play together, and will encourage each other to eat their dinner, play nicely, go to bed at a decent time, etc (this may not be entirely true ).
You WILL need a huge car though - a car-style 7 seater won't cut it, you need a van with windows/proper MPV and 7 x full-size seats, preferably removable in the back.
But, great news. Time to think of nicely rhyming, or alliterative names. Miles and Giles, Harry and Barry, that sort of thing.
As a twin myself, and an uncle of 2 sets of twins, I can safely say don't panic.
Hard for the first year, but then once they are a little older, they will be good company for each other, especially 2-4 years old - they can play together, and will encourage each other to eat their dinner, play nicely, go to bed at a decent time, etc (this may not be entirely true
). You WILL need a huge car though - a car-style 7 seater won't cut it, you need a van with windows/proper MPV and 7 x full-size seats, preferably removable in the back.
But, great news. Time to think of nicely rhyming, or alliterative names. Miles and Giles, Harry and Barry, that sort of thing.
Rusty Old-Banger said:
Firstly, congratulations!!
As a twin myself, and an uncle of 2 sets of twins, I can safely say don't panic.
Hard for the first year, but then once they are a little older, they will be good company for each other, especially 2-4 years old - they can play together, and will encourage each other to eat their dinner, play nicely, go to bed at a decent time, etc (this may not be entirely true ).
You WILL need a huge car though - a car-style 7 seater won't cut it, you need a van with windows/proper MPV and 7 x full-size seats, preferably removable in the back.
But, great news. Time to think of nicely rhyming, or alliterative names. Miles and Giles, Harry and Barry, that sort of thing.
Thank you As a twin myself, and an uncle of 2 sets of twins, I can safely say don't panic.
Hard for the first year, but then once they are a little older, they will be good company for each other, especially 2-4 years old - they can play together, and will encourage each other to eat their dinner, play nicely, go to bed at a decent time, etc (this may not be entirely true
). You WILL need a huge car though - a car-style 7 seater won't cut it, you need a van with windows/proper MPV and 7 x full-size seats, preferably removable in the back.
But, great news. Time to think of nicely rhyming, or alliterative names. Miles and Giles, Harry and Barry, that sort of thing.
Makes me feel a lot better. I am however absolutely not buying a van style MPV haha! Maybe I'll just stick with the Disco, try and continue to suck up its running costs. I had thought XC90 but then you are into a whole other world of pain with the automatic transmission, propshaft/rear diff issues. I do also have a roof box
Triumph Man said:
Rusty Old-Banger said:
Firstly, congratulations!!
As a twin myself, and an uncle of 2 sets of twins, I can safely say don't panic.
Hard for the first year, but then once they are a little older, they will be good company for each other, especially 2-4 years old - they can play together, and will encourage each other to eat their dinner, play nicely, go to bed at a decent time, etc (this may not be entirely true ).
You WILL need a huge car though - a car-style 7 seater won't cut it, you need a van with windows/proper MPV and 7 x full-size seats, preferably removable in the back.
But, great news. Time to think of nicely rhyming, or alliterative names. Miles and Giles, Harry and Barry, that sort of thing.
Thank you As a twin myself, and an uncle of 2 sets of twins, I can safely say don't panic.
Hard for the first year, but then once they are a little older, they will be good company for each other, especially 2-4 years old - they can play together, and will encourage each other to eat their dinner, play nicely, go to bed at a decent time, etc (this may not be entirely true
). You WILL need a huge car though - a car-style 7 seater won't cut it, you need a van with windows/proper MPV and 7 x full-size seats, preferably removable in the back.
But, great news. Time to think of nicely rhyming, or alliterative names. Miles and Giles, Harry and Barry, that sort of thing.
Makes me feel a lot better. I am however absolutely not buying a van style MPV haha! Maybe I'll just stick with the Disco, try and continue to suck up its running costs. I had thought XC90 but then you are into a whole other world of pain with the automatic transmission, propshaft/rear diff issues. I do also have a roof box
I was adopted after my adoptive Mum had a miscarriage and was told she'd never be able to have children.
Several years later however she became pregnant and because of the miscarriage went for frequent checks and scans. One afternoon my Dad was in a meeting with his boss when in burst Mum, "Twins! I'm having twins!"
"I think you'd better take your wife home..." my Dad was told.
Dad was a twin, the wife of his brother who wasn't a twin had twin sons and I have twin sisters - I carried one out of the hospital really narked 'cos I'd wanted a rabbit (I was only six...)
Several years later however she became pregnant and because of the miscarriage went for frequent checks and scans. One afternoon my Dad was in a meeting with his boss when in burst Mum, "Twins! I'm having twins!"
"I think you'd better take your wife home..." my Dad was told.
Dad was a twin, the wife of his brother who wasn't a twin had twin sons and I have twin sisters - I carried one out of the hospital really narked 'cos I'd wanted a rabbit (I was only six...)
Congratulations! A mate went through exactly that several years ago. https://twinstrust.org/ (used to be TAMBA) provide lots of help and support, and there are good local groups too.
They ve coped fine with an Octavia estate with a Multimac fitted, no need to go silly on massive cars.
They ve coped fine with an Octavia estate with a Multimac fitted, no need to go silly on massive cars.
Congratulations to you both! I thought I was reading my own life story for a moment. We had exactly the same experience as you, 3 year old daughter, wife went for 12 weeks scan, and it's twins! Nothing prepares you for that shock.
All the advice I could give has been written above, but remember to enjoy it as much as you can, it's going to be tough and you'll need lots of support, but you will be fine.
Ours have just started university this September, so all three of them are away now, and I miss them every day.
All the advice I could give has been written above, but remember to enjoy it as much as you can, it's going to be tough and you'll need lots of support, but you will be fine.
Ours have just started university this September, so all three of them are away now, and I miss them every day.
zbc said:
Nothing to add but good luck but we did have some friends who had three under five and then found out they were going to have triplets so it could be worse and all that....
A friend of ours had a similar situation, they had 2 boys already, wife was desperate for a girl so they thought they would give it another go; triplets, 2 girls and a boy!!I've been there - eldest was 1yr and 11 months when we got the news so we had a three under three for a while.
Basically you have buckle up for a very very tough 2 years - it's exponentially harder than looking after a singleton. People will ask you how you cope and the honest answer is that you don't have any other option. The two of you just have be as honest and forgiving with each other as you possibly can be and never be too proud to accept sincere offers of help.
My one piece of advice would be that formula is your Friend! My wife tried exclusive breastfeeding for the first month and it nearly killed her. As soo as we went 50:50 formula and breastmilk I was able to take on a lot of extra load, which is particularly vital during the double midnight feeds.
There is a silver lining...
As they get older it's amazing watching them turn into best friends. Mine have started school now and they walk through the gates holding hands and always look out for each other. They're boy and girl and couldn't be more different, but moment of pure joy in watching them grow together is exponentially better too
P.S. I went with a Q7 in the end. Great car, but even it looks small when 3x child seats are installed and the boot is stufeed with 2x cots, 2x high chairs, a double buggy and all the baby bags etc. Whatever you get, invest in a roof box too!
Basically you have buckle up for a very very tough 2 years - it's exponentially harder than looking after a singleton. People will ask you how you cope and the honest answer is that you don't have any other option. The two of you just have be as honest and forgiving with each other as you possibly can be and never be too proud to accept sincere offers of help.
My one piece of advice would be that formula is your Friend! My wife tried exclusive breastfeeding for the first month and it nearly killed her. As soo as we went 50:50 formula and breastmilk I was able to take on a lot of extra load, which is particularly vital during the double midnight feeds.
There is a silver lining...
As they get older it's amazing watching them turn into best friends. Mine have started school now and they walk through the gates holding hands and always look out for each other. They're boy and girl and couldn't be more different, but moment of pure joy in watching them grow together is exponentially better too
P.S. I went with a Q7 in the end. Great car, but even it looks small when 3x child seats are installed and the boot is stufeed with 2x cots, 2x high chairs, a double buggy and all the baby bags etc. Whatever you get, invest in a roof box too!
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