Biggest bollox story someone ever told you
Biggest bollox story someone ever told you
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tampon

Original Poster:

4,637 posts

255 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
quotequote all
At school lots of the kids would say there dads car did xxxmph etc, but when you grow up you expect people to stop lieing.

1) mate said he had a part job at the Dorchester ( whilst being a student ) and he was changing all the menus.

2) same guy said he had been to New York with another mate for the weekend, when other mate walked in he didn't have a clue about it.

3) different guy claimed he drove to and from manchester every week for work ( 200m ) and would normally only ever take him 1 1/2 hours, 2 if it was busy. Tried myself ( 2hours tonking it at night ) and told him and he still claims during the day he can get there in hour and a half.

4) bloke said he had a new black golf gti conv outside, we asked to see it, he said yes, went outside to find a 1.6 cooking model, he said that it was the floding hardtop version ( 5 door ) and that he had specced it so it looked standard.

5) had a lady say she wanted to fly from terminal 5, said it was built yet, she call me stupid and said she had flown in to it, pointed to the building works ( worked in a hotel by heathrow ) and showed her the local paper all about t5, and she said her husband worked for the cia and that they took special flights from there.

Please bear in mind these people are 24-30 uni degrees decent jobs, what is with people ?

lord summerisle

8,174 posts

255 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
quotequote all
hmm had a couple...

one was in a group of friends about experiances in parks... one claimed that while riding Nemesis at Alton Towers - the train had broken down on the Lift hill and it had rolled back down the hill and into the station - a physical impossiblity due to the anti roll backs.

and another friend claiming that while he was operating a Log Flume at another theme park he had a rider stand up as the car engaged the lift hill... fall out, get dragged up the lift by the chain by the dogs and have his leg torn off at the top, before falling back down the lift - and event that others we know working at the park had never heard about, nor did it make the local rag - and for such a thing to happen in the middle of summer and no one - to get in touch with the local rag... well hmmm...

EmmaP

11,758 posts

269 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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los angeles said:
"I love you."


Damn! You beat me too it!

apache

39,731 posts

314 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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A schoolmate told me he was riding his moped when a flatbed truck overtook him, one of the hooks that you tie ropes to caught him by the collar, hoicked him off, and dropped him on the road in front of his moped.......which promptly ran him over. He was an ugly bastard so it may have been true

hedders

24,460 posts

277 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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When i went to secondary school And was weighing up all the other pupils to see who I might fit in with I hooked up with a guy that seemed to fit the bill..

Over the course of the next year or so, he kept telling everyone who would listen that he had every new toy that was available etc.

He let everyone know his parents were very rich and he was able to buy anything he wanted. Everyday he would come into school with more money than most and he had obviously been well educated until that point.

One day he invited me back to his place and when I enquired why it was he lived in a council house and didn't have all the toys he bragged about. He brazenly announced that the whole thing was bullshit, and he was just trying to impress everyone but he wanted me to know the truth!

He is the only person I still speak to that I went to school with.

He earns more money than anyone else i know and is now responsible for large government contracts for millions of quid.

no suprise there...

Dakkon

7,833 posts

283 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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Had a friend at Uni who reckoned his Dad was best friends with the manager of McDonalds Europe...well fair enough, he then goes on to say that this manager owns a Mclaren F1, again fair enough, followed by how this manager let him (My friend) drive his said Mclaren F1 around Milbrook proving ground on a private test day....hmmm of course you did mate.

Bear in mind said Uni mate is, well about 28 stone...and I was led to believe the Mclaren F1 had seats molded to the driver....

To this day he swears its true....

Oh, forgot to add that hen I had my modded MR2T he was amazed how quick it was...but not really as fast as a Mclaren F1 eh? sigh....

>> Edited by Dakkon on Thursday 6th October 16:05

parrot of doom

23,075 posts

264 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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When I left college I started work at a place that shot Uni graduation ceremony videos. There was one guy there who had his own equipment, and we frequently worked together, along with other college types like myself (ie everyone wet behind ears).

Once, he told us how he'd been filming in the Gulf War, and had to watch a girl being picked apart by snipers. Apparently, he was a sh1t hot news cameraman, much in demand.

Oh right, thats why you're working for £30 a day filming crappy videos then, and driving around in a battered old Ford Orion. Riiigghhhtt.......

NiceCupOfTea

25,590 posts

281 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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Used to know this guy on the internet who claimed he had a Maclaren F1...

groucho

12,134 posts

276 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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I was told by a bloke I used to know (dead now) that he had a surface to air rocket launcher and the rocket in his loft.

timmy30

9,325 posts

257 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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Tssk I've got a great one, there's this bloke, and he's telling everyone that he knows this country has got nuclear bombs and it could attack us in 45 minutes time.





Turns out the whole thing was a pile of bollox, but in the meantime he'd persuaded everyone that we'd better invade it just to make sure.

hedders

24,460 posts

277 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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timmy30 said:
Tssk I've got a great one, there's this bloke, and he's telling everyone that he knows this country has got nuclear bombs and it could attack us in 45 minutes time.





Turns out the whole thing was a pile of bollox, but in the meantime he'd persuaded everyone that we'd better invade it just to make sure.


Sure..who would fall for that one???

hedders

24,460 posts

277 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
quotequote all
groucho said:
I was told by a bloke I used to know (dead now) that he had a surface to air rocket launcher and the rocket in his loft.


Erm, how did he die?

judas

6,239 posts

289 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
quotequote all
EmmaP said:

los angeles said:
"I love you."



Damn! You beat me too it!

Shouldn't that be: "Of course I love you, now open your mouth."

groucho

12,134 posts

276 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
quotequote all
hedders said:

groucho said:
I was told by a bloke I used to know (dead now) that he had a surface to air rocket launcher and the rocket in his loft.



Erm, how did he die?


Drugs and drink.

bmgm3

10,480 posts

273 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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Stupid kid at work told me his prop shaft UJ broke on his car, and him and his mates repaired it with a bit of rope and thought the car was faster afterwards...... He lasted a week before he got the sack.

hedders

24,460 posts

277 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
quotequote all
groucho said:

hedders said:


groucho said:
I was told by a bloke I used to know (dead now) that he had a surface to air rocket launcher and the rocket in his loft.




Erm, how did he die?



Drugs and drink.


He was probably full of shit in that case

agent006

12,058 posts

294 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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From an aquaintance:

"Yeah, drove a TVR Tuscan the other week."

"But you've only got a provisional license"

"Yeah, slapped some magnetic L plates on"

zcacogp

11,239 posts

274 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
quotequote all
Guy at uni who reckoned he was flown out to US warships every weekend to fly helicopters for them, as he was a top-trained, top-notch helicopter pilot, and was particularly skilled at landing military machines on the decks of moving warships in storms.

Oh, and the illiterate mate from the Black Country who struggled to work out the change when he went to the local Mc Donalds, but reckoned he was offered an £80k job on the trading floor (aged 18). I asked "Oh, do you want to move to London then?", to which he replied "No, it's based in Dudley".

Nowt so queer as folks, as my dad would say.


Oli.

JonRB

80,067 posts

302 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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I had a friend at uni who used to regularly "dine out" on the story of how Eric Clapton gave him a lift home from band practise once. He told it so convincingly and seemed such an honest Christianly bloke that we all believed him at the time (although I confess to being a bit wet behind the ears at that age).

I think God "spoke to him" about it (in other words he got a fit of conscience) and he confessed it was all a lie.

MikeyT

18,422 posts

301 months

Thursday 6th October 2005
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Bloke in the next office (a few years back) said he was always going out in London and he knew Peter Stringfellow and that he (PS) would send a stretch limo to his hotel to pick him and his woman up ...

He was about 21 ...