Reporting an elderly family member for poor driving

[Acuity30]

Sadly I feel the time has come for my father to stop driving. In the past 6 months he has smashed into a curb and also hit another car albeit at a low speed.
However I've witnessed his driving first hand and he constantly straddles the centre line on dual carriageways, make terrible judgement calls at junctions and roundabouts, often not giving way at all or emerging way too late making other drivers slam their brakes on.
Just last week he was driving on a 40mph dual carriageway in the left lane and randomly started drifting into the right lane forcing another driver to sound their horn and brake. My dad then wound the window down and stuck his middle finger up at the driver, fully convinced it was somehow their fault
You get the idea. I suspect he has Alzeimers and may also need vision correction though neither have been diagnosed. What's worse is he insists on taking my mother to and from work and I just think it's only a matter of time before both end up injured, or worse from a RTA.
I've already reported him anonymously using this link:
https://contact.dvla.gov.uk/driver/capture-transac...

My question is what happens next? Will he be told to do some kind of medical exam or does the DVLA require some form of evidence from the GP? Come to think of it I'm not even sure if his licence is in date.
Thanks

[RSTurboPaul]

You could always ring the non-emergency Police number and see what they might be able to do.

[Furbo]

Acuity30 said:

Sadly I feel the time has come for my father to stop driving. In the past 6 months he has smashed into a curb and also hit another car albeit at a low speed.
However I've witnessed his driving first hand and he constantly straddles the centre line on dual carriageways, make terrible judgement calls at junctions and roundabouts, often not giving way at all or emerging way too late making other drivers slam their brakes on.
Just last week he was driving on a 40mph dual carriageway in the left lane and randomly started drifting into the right lane forcing another driver to sound their horn and brake. My dad then wound the window down and stuck his middle finger up at the driver, fully convinced it was somehow their fault
You get the idea. I suspect he has Alzeimers and may also need vision correction though neither have been diagnosed. What's worse is he insists on taking my mother to and from work and I just think it's only a matter of time before both end up injured, or worse from a RTA.
I've already reported him anonymously using this link:
https://contact.dvla.gov.uk/driver/capture-transac...

My question is what happens next? Will he be told to do some kind of medical exam or does the DVLA require some form of evidence from the GP? Come to think of it I'm not even sure if his licence is in date.
Thanks

Difficult though this is, I'd be dealing with it within the family, as opposed to involving the authorities.

[Benmac]

Tricky stuff. Definitely see if some sort of “intervention” within the family is possible. Start it as a “quiet word” and build from there if necessary.

Someone I knew ages ago had a similar situation with an elderly aunt. She’d caused untold damage to her car, road furniture, other people’s cars etc in myriad tiny bumps and scrapes but never anything which actually stopped the car. She refused to listen to pleas to stop. In the end a family member spoke to the local traffic police and one of them came round in a marked car to have a brief chat. That did stop her.

[sagarich]

Keen to hear how others have dealt with it.

My 92 yo Grandmother really shouldn’t be on the road anymore. Divided the family with my Dad saying she should stop and his Brothers saying it will be the beginning of the end when she looses her independence.

[Furbo]

sagarich said:

Keen to hear how others have dealt with it.

My 92 yo Grandmother really shouldn t be on the road anymore. Divided the family with my Dad saying she should stop and his Brothers saying it will be the beginning of the end when she looses her independence.

The end may come swiftly, if she doesn't stop. For her and others.

I still think it is a family matter, though, unless it becomes absolutely necessary to involve others.

[Acuity30]

Benmac said:

Tricky stuff. Definitely see if some sort of intervention within the family is possible. Start it as a quiet word and build from there if necessary.

Someone I knew ages ago had a similar situation with an elderly aunt. She d caused untold damage to her car, road furniture, other people s cars etc in myriad tiny bumps and scrapes but never anything which actually stopped the car. She refused to listen to pleas to stop. In the end a family member spoke to the local traffic police and one of them came round in a marked car to have a brief chat. That did stop her.

We've tried. Unfortunately he has always been quite arrogant and incapable of accepting any blame, he genuinely believes anyone who beeps or flashes their lights are in the wrong, every time. If he doesn't crash he will end up with a broken nose if he gives the middle finger to the wrong person, it must be extra infuriating to be on the receiving end of that, knowing full well you did nothing wrong.
Normally I'd let him get on with it but as he regularly has my mum as a passenger it just doesn't sit right with me at all.

[Muzzer79]

How old actually is he?

[Yahonza]

Your parents are grown ups and understand the risks? I would let nature take its course, which it eventually will, and there will be an incident that will make them see sense. Otherwise DVLA will probably need some sort of missive from a GP saying that they are medically unfit to drive.

[Zed Ed]

An option is to approach this from the GP/medical side. My father in law has dementia and lost his license as a result. He ended up having to do a practical retest which he failed.

Also the insurance dimension to consider; disclosures re fitness to drive, able to enter into insurance contracts etc.

I’ll check with the mother in law how it all fitted together and come back to you.

Or hide the keys

[TheRainMaker]

sagarich said:

Keen to hear how others have dealt with it.

My dad managed it with my gran, something about eyesight if memory serves me (he was an accident investor, so it might have been something else, but that was what we were told)

I got her car, which was a bonus

She was a terrible driver; I have no idea how she never had a major crash.

[Riley Blue]

I reported my Dad to the DVLA when he was in his late 80s and my Mum told me how frightened she was when he was driving. I sat in beside him one day and understood exactly what she meant - he was a complete liability as a driver and I only went a couple of miles locally, not over the Dartford Crossing once a week as he and my Mum used to do.

I can't remember exactly how the letter from the DVLA read, I think it required him to see his GP for some sort of check up and 'driving competency' was mentioned. He was livid, absolutely fuming though he suspected one of my sisters rather than me as the 'grass'.

The process continued and within a few months he had stopped driving completely and given up his licence. When I next visited (my parents lived 200 miles away) he admitted he was pleased he'd stopped driving as the roads were so bad 'these days'.

Like many old people gradually slipping into dementia he had no idea his driving was worsening, just as he had no idea that after my Mum died and he was on his own I phoned him every evening without fail at 7pm until he dies two years later. I knew that within minutes of me hanging up he'd have forgotten I'd phoned, he used to say he hadn't heard from me for weeks.

He didn't want to be a danger to others on the road nor forget how my Mum died, nor lose track of his life and family. It just happened, as it does to many.

[DonkeyApple]

Is there a reason why you'd prefer to try and do this anomalously instead of just standing in front of him and telling him he won't be driving any more? The latter is just far simpler and gets the job done immediately.

[Acuity30]

DonkeyApple said:

Is there a reason why you'd prefer to try and do this anomalously instead of just standing in front of him and telling him he won't be driving any more? The latter is just far simpler and gets the job done immediately.

Because that would be incorrect, I can't say he won't be driving, all I can do is ensure the DVLA check he is fit to drive. How they go about checking that I'm not sure hence the thread

[Slow.Patrol]

We had similar with my Grandfather. We didn't realise at the time, but he was probably suffering from early dementia.

I went with my Mum to the GP without the Grandfather and the GP called him into the practice on the pretence of a routine medical. I think he managed to find done issues and advised my Grandfather he shouldn't be driving.

In the meantime Mum and I took the car keys away.

[Skyedriver]

sagarich said:

Keen to hear how others have dealt with it.

My 92 yo Grandmother really shouldn t be on the road anymore. Divided the family with my Dad saying she should stop and his Brothers saying it will be the beginning of the end when she looses her independence.

So likely.
FiL was 86 when he gave up after a health scare but in the last two years he's gone seriously downhill.

There's been a few long threads on this subject, maybe take a look back through the topics.
One way was to hide the keys but a better option was disable the car and "book it into a garage to fix"

[TVRBRZ]

Following an incident where my Mother hit a parked car, smashed its door mirror and drove off, I "forced" her to take an elderly driving assessment. She passed it and for the few years that she continued to drive she was bitterly resentful of my actions. When she stopped driving (of her own accord), she then blamed me for destroying her confidence and ruining her independence.

5 years later, she is still bitter, full of resentment and blame.

So in retrospect, I should have anonymously grassed her up for the hit and run and made lots of sympathetic noises when the authorities took action.

But if she'd killed a child like the woman in Edinburgh then I'd have never got over the guilt....

[bobtail4x4]

we had a similar problem with the MIL, she was running all the other old dears about to appointments etc, and her driving was dreadful,
a chat with her doctor...
didnt work, he avoided the matter,

eventually we had to take her car away,
she reported it stolen,
fortunately we had pre warned the local police,

her "friends" circle dropped by about 80% when she was no longer a free taxi,

when my dad was in his late 60s his attention span was measured in a few seconds,
I had to grab wheel once or twice,
he would see something in a shop window and wander across the white line or up the kerb,
I offered to drive him about,
he sent his licence back the same week,
shame really he could have had a few of my speeding tickets.

[MB140]

We had an OAP kill someone in our local Waitrose a few months back.

Apparently clearly too old and not fully having his faculties to be driving. Imagine if you were the son of this person who has killed someone and you knew and did nothing.

I was getting near this point with my 78 year old dad. At least he realised his reactions and awareness was starting to go and he limited himself to out of rush hour traffic, only to the local shop and back which he could clearly still do.

Unfortunately 20 days ago my dad had a massive stroke and is still in the hospital.

Right now he barely knows the day of the week, can’t talk and has severe limitations on his right hand side so I don’t have to worry about that anymore.

I couldn’t live with myself if he had hurt someone.

[Acuity30]

TVRBRZ said:

Following an incident where my Mother hit a parked car, smashed its door mirror and drove off, I "forced" her to take an elderly driving assessment. She passed it and for the few years that she continued to drive she was bitterly resentful of my actions. When she stopped driving (of her own accord), she then blamed me for destroying her confidence and ruining her independence.

5 years later, she is still bitter, full of resentment and blame.

So in retrospect, I should have anonymously grassed her up for the hit and run and made lots of sympathetic noises when the authorities took action.

But if she'd killed a child like the woman in Edinburgh then I'd have never got over the guilt....

That's essentially how he would react as well, hence the anonymous route. I'm not prepared to just let him endanger everyone else just to save his feelings. Like I said before if he passes whatever tests the DVLA deem necessary then fair enough but if I had to bet, I don't think he will.