Discussion
Burner account here since I'm known to some people on here personally and would rather be anonymous on this one.
Not really sure what I want to achieve from this post beyond perhaps the catharsis of writing it down. But I'm really struggling at the moment with some kind of deep form of mid-life crisis and it's quickly bringing me further and further down.
UK-based, 38 year old, married with two children 6 and 8 (both girls). We live in the South East and I work in the City having built my own practice within the Big 4. This isn't a flex (indeed I think it is part of the problem) but I earn really well, over £2m this year. I exercise relatively regularly, I'm not fit by any stretch but can run a 5k or 10k without dying and try to do so once a week. Externally life appears perfect - small family with two loving, well-behaved and wonderful children, v successful at work, house, cars, no health conditions etc. We take wonderful holidays and don't spend too much money - we aren't ostentatious in our spending (I have one "fun" car which is worth about £40k).
But I'm totally apathetic about life at the moment and have been for around a year or so. My job has changed from being "building something" to being "maintaining something" and now seems to consist of mostly trying to fix problems caused by others. I've become lethargic at work, I feel hugely nervous about the future despite the practice thriving and me probably getting paid even more this year, I regularly wake up in a cold sweat worrying about work and essentially now, I cannot divorce my general life from my work at all. If things are bad at work, life feels like it's over. I work huge hours - 0830 to 2200 regularly Monday to Friday and varying numbers of hours at weekends and so I get virtually no time to myself - but as soon as I do take time out, I feel guilty and cannot shake the feeling that my practice will collapse and my children will go hungry eventually.
My work is volatile in terms of where I can generate revenue from. It's been great so far but competition is increasing and clients' needs are changing - I feel like there's a reasonable prospect that I'll get "found out" at some point that I'm actually rubbish at it.
Life just appears to be a very quickly revolving merry-go-round of working, taking children to school and going on holiday every so often. I'm achieving zero except earning a load of money and that genuinely is bringing me zero happiness.
I also feel hugely guilty for feeling like this. I'm massively, acutely aware of the horrific selfishness that I appear to be displaying by feeling like this. I feel like it should be something I can shake off and to deal with my problems, since they are much smaller than what so many others have to deal with day to day.
I've seen mental health experts before - all of them have been helpful but they've been sticking plasters that haven't solved the problem. I'm not even sure what the problem is these days. Perhaps I need to change things at work, do something different etc - but that would be shooting the golden goose at the moment. I keep saying "two years time" to do something different but I cannot prioritise my own health over making sure that I've secured the future for my family.
My head does funny things as well. I sometimes get towards thinking that I wish I'd never had children since the fact that I love them so, so much and would put myself through years of hardship to keep them happy and secure, has caused me mental anguish and suffering that sometimes makes me wonder if I'm capable of being fixed. Then I feel guilty again for thinking that way.
TLDR I'm a basket-case and interested in others' views of my situation, or experiences of their own and anything they've done that might have helped them.
Not really sure what I want to achieve from this post beyond perhaps the catharsis of writing it down. But I'm really struggling at the moment with some kind of deep form of mid-life crisis and it's quickly bringing me further and further down.
UK-based, 38 year old, married with two children 6 and 8 (both girls). We live in the South East and I work in the City having built my own practice within the Big 4. This isn't a flex (indeed I think it is part of the problem) but I earn really well, over £2m this year. I exercise relatively regularly, I'm not fit by any stretch but can run a 5k or 10k without dying and try to do so once a week. Externally life appears perfect - small family with two loving, well-behaved and wonderful children, v successful at work, house, cars, no health conditions etc. We take wonderful holidays and don't spend too much money - we aren't ostentatious in our spending (I have one "fun" car which is worth about £40k).
But I'm totally apathetic about life at the moment and have been for around a year or so. My job has changed from being "building something" to being "maintaining something" and now seems to consist of mostly trying to fix problems caused by others. I've become lethargic at work, I feel hugely nervous about the future despite the practice thriving and me probably getting paid even more this year, I regularly wake up in a cold sweat worrying about work and essentially now, I cannot divorce my general life from my work at all. If things are bad at work, life feels like it's over. I work huge hours - 0830 to 2200 regularly Monday to Friday and varying numbers of hours at weekends and so I get virtually no time to myself - but as soon as I do take time out, I feel guilty and cannot shake the feeling that my practice will collapse and my children will go hungry eventually.
My work is volatile in terms of where I can generate revenue from. It's been great so far but competition is increasing and clients' needs are changing - I feel like there's a reasonable prospect that I'll get "found out" at some point that I'm actually rubbish at it.
Life just appears to be a very quickly revolving merry-go-round of working, taking children to school and going on holiday every so often. I'm achieving zero except earning a load of money and that genuinely is bringing me zero happiness.
I also feel hugely guilty for feeling like this. I'm massively, acutely aware of the horrific selfishness that I appear to be displaying by feeling like this. I feel like it should be something I can shake off and to deal with my problems, since they are much smaller than what so many others have to deal with day to day.
I've seen mental health experts before - all of them have been helpful but they've been sticking plasters that haven't solved the problem. I'm not even sure what the problem is these days. Perhaps I need to change things at work, do something different etc - but that would be shooting the golden goose at the moment. I keep saying "two years time" to do something different but I cannot prioritise my own health over making sure that I've secured the future for my family.
My head does funny things as well. I sometimes get towards thinking that I wish I'd never had children since the fact that I love them so, so much and would put myself through years of hardship to keep them happy and secure, has caused me mental anguish and suffering that sometimes makes me wonder if I'm capable of being fixed. Then I feel guilty again for thinking that way.
TLDR I'm a basket-case and interested in others' views of my situation, or experiences of their own and anything they've done that might have helped them.
What was your goal with the business?
Because if you've met your original goal, and you're not happy running it any more - and it's not going to be worth much more than it is - cash out your chips.
If you keep doing what you're doing then the outcome won't change. Sounds like work is what's breaking you.
Because if you've met your original goal, and you're not happy running it any more - and it's not going to be worth much more than it is - cash out your chips.
If you keep doing what you're doing then the outcome won't change. Sounds like work is what's breaking you.
Minus your salary your situation isn't unique in the slightest I don't think.
Lack of freedom, human connection, buzz/adrenaline and purpose? Guess that's why everyones out there splashing cash on ridiculous designer clothes and cars (on debt) sinking pints and doing other substances. Filling voids in their life and altering reality for a few hours.
Join the club pal. If anyone has the answers let me know too...
Lack of freedom, human connection, buzz/adrenaline and purpose? Guess that's why everyones out there splashing cash on ridiculous designer clothes and cars (on debt) sinking pints and doing other substances. Filling voids in their life and altering reality for a few hours.
Join the club pal. If anyone has the answers let me know too...
Random thoughts spring to mind.
-have you a team that can do the work so you can take more of a back seat while still having people know that you're key to everything?
-you need to speak to your wife so she feels like changes may be incoming (for your own mental... and physical health)
-you might want to look into financial planning so that any changes don't hit you in a way that makes things uncomfortable
-maybe a therapist isn't what you need but a coach who can help you to figure out your next step (I might be able to help but I might not - message me if you want)
-have you a team that can do the work so you can take more of a back seat while still having people know that you're key to everything?
-you need to speak to your wife so she feels like changes may be incoming (for your own mental... and physical health)
-you might want to look into financial planning so that any changes don't hit you in a way that makes things uncomfortable
-maybe a therapist isn't what you need but a coach who can help you to figure out your next step (I might be able to help but I might not - message me if you want)
Neptune188 said:
What was your goal with the business?
Because if you've met your original goal, and you're not happy running it any more - and it's not going to be worth much more than it is - cash out your chips.
If you keep doing what you're doing then the outcome won't change. Sounds like work is what's breaking you.
Interesting question. The business as it is, is actually just a practice within a large accountancy firm - I've built a niche in generating work from a very specific subset of the market and have a strong reputation within that subset of industry for being the go-to. So there's unfortunately no "cashing out" available since there's nothing to sell - I'm just a partner in a Big 4 firm and have a practice. I could walk away from it, but there's nothing to cash out. Because if you've met your original goal, and you're not happy running it any more - and it's not going to be worth much more than it is - cash out your chips.
If you keep doing what you're doing then the outcome won't change. Sounds like work is what's breaking you.
Agree though that work is what's breaking me - home life is great, if only I had more of it.
To summarise, it looks like you feel trapped between two opposing extremes:
At one end you can continue earning big money, giving your kids who you love the best chance in life your kids need (nice postcode/ good schools/ friends etc). However it sounds like you feel guilty about not being there for them.
The other extreme, you probably think the alternative is to completely give up at work and you feel the guilt you feel will turn in to resentment.
I know the feeling- being "trapped" into a high income job and worrying about losing it all. You begin to resent the kids (and wife) for taking for granted all you do give them a "good life". I've been there- although maybe 10 years ahead of you in kids ages and behind you in £.
In the blink of an eye your kids will be growing up and leaving home. It's a cliche- but it's true. Every Dad wishes they'd spent more time with their kids when young. On average, the ones that do have well adjusted, happy and thriving kids.
Of the high earning materially successful Dads I know, I do see a lot more kids with poor relationships with their parents and their peers and more mental health issues. They might be set up materially for success, but they do not seem as happy or content.
Whatever you do in life, you really don't have to choose between your kids and your job. The answer doesn't lie at the extremities. If you think you're not sitting down and talking to them enough- you're probably not. If you think you're working too hard- you probably are.
At one end you can continue earning big money, giving your kids who you love the best chance in life your kids need (nice postcode/ good schools/ friends etc). However it sounds like you feel guilty about not being there for them.
The other extreme, you probably think the alternative is to completely give up at work and you feel the guilt you feel will turn in to resentment.
I know the feeling- being "trapped" into a high income job and worrying about losing it all. You begin to resent the kids (and wife) for taking for granted all you do give them a "good life". I've been there- although maybe 10 years ahead of you in kids ages and behind you in £.
In the blink of an eye your kids will be growing up and leaving home. It's a cliche- but it's true. Every Dad wishes they'd spent more time with their kids when young. On average, the ones that do have well adjusted, happy and thriving kids.
Of the high earning materially successful Dads I know, I do see a lot more kids with poor relationships with their parents and their peers and more mental health issues. They might be set up materially for success, but they do not seem as happy or content.
Whatever you do in life, you really don't have to choose between your kids and your job. The answer doesn't lie at the extremities. If you think you're not sitting down and talking to them enough- you're probably not. If you think you're working too hard- you probably are.
Thank you all for the very quick responses. I'll try to respond in one post since I think there's a limit on how much a new account can post.
I'm definitely suffering from a lack of wider excitement. I used to do fun things - I'm not much of a sociable individual but had hobbies like sailing, cars etc. Now life is straight-up work, keep the children going and keep the house going. Example - this weekend the wife and children were away at her parents and I was here - I did a lot of jobs, gardening stuff, DIY etc and felt good, then had a free afternoon but had no idea what to do. I did nothing at all interesting or productive and made myself feel bad.
Hoofy - thank you. I do have a team, they are great, but they are junior and need help. We're a victim of my own success in that we generate a ton of hard stuff and clients want to see me supporting on it (since they came to us because of me). My wife is acutely aware of my mental state having supported me through a lot of difficult times in the past. Coach - I can see the thought process, fix work and the rest should follow - it is a fair point and I might message you, thank you.
Ken - no diss taken and I agree, part of the process here is to actually put these issues into perspective and make my brain stop treating them as existential. Luckily for me I can really choose my own schedule since I work when I want - as long as I can get my head into not being so horrifically worried about the future whenever I'm not doing 100% at work, voluntary work would be brilliant. I genuinely love helping others and perhaps I'm missing something of that.
I'm definitely suffering from a lack of wider excitement. I used to do fun things - I'm not much of a sociable individual but had hobbies like sailing, cars etc. Now life is straight-up work, keep the children going and keep the house going. Example - this weekend the wife and children were away at her parents and I was here - I did a lot of jobs, gardening stuff, DIY etc and felt good, then had a free afternoon but had no idea what to do. I did nothing at all interesting or productive and made myself feel bad.
Hoofy - thank you. I do have a team, they are great, but they are junior and need help. We're a victim of my own success in that we generate a ton of hard stuff and clients want to see me supporting on it (since they came to us because of me). My wife is acutely aware of my mental state having supported me through a lot of difficult times in the past. Coach - I can see the thought process, fix work and the rest should follow - it is a fair point and I might message you, thank you.
Ken - no diss taken and I agree, part of the process here is to actually put these issues into perspective and make my brain stop treating them as existential. Luckily for me I can really choose my own schedule since I work when I want - as long as I can get my head into not being so horrifically worried about the future whenever I'm not doing 100% at work, voluntary work would be brilliant. I genuinely love helping others and perhaps I'm missing something of that.
Thoughts:
With that level of income I'd have been building myself a stash of 'f
k you' money. It's tempting to spend as it comes in on fripperies but you end up trapped needing to maintain that income stream and lifestyle. Much more liberating to be in a state where all the basics like the house are cleared and you're sitting on a big enough pile that you don't actually need to work and can either walk away because it suits or not need to care if the whole thing falls apart. I know it comforted me not having to care at all about work stuff beyond what stimulated my interest.
Disengage from the tedious bits. Delegate. Swap roles. Don't get stuck. If you're good at something it's easy for you to become the go-to for every issue and while that suits some it doesn't others. Same with being the 'expert' - you're seen as being good so that's now your job. Some people love the security that brings, I always viewed it as a trap.
Shift to new projects, you've got one thing spun up, time to repeat that for something else. Some love to latch onto something for the long term security of it, personally I find the interest in doing the early innovation & definition & startup rather than the tedious day to day detail and bounce between all sorts as I'm easily bored. Not always easy to escape though if you're seen as too critical.
Imposter syndrome is obviously a thing, can't recommend much to help that beyond just not thinking about it. Narcissism is a brilliant preventative (I highly recommend it) but if you don't have it you aren't going to pick it up.
With that level of income I'd have been building myself a stash of 'f
k you' money. It's tempting to spend as it comes in on fripperies but you end up trapped needing to maintain that income stream and lifestyle. Much more liberating to be in a state where all the basics like the house are cleared and you're sitting on a big enough pile that you don't actually need to work and can either walk away because it suits or not need to care if the whole thing falls apart. I know it comforted me not having to care at all about work stuff beyond what stimulated my interest. Disengage from the tedious bits. Delegate. Swap roles. Don't get stuck. If you're good at something it's easy for you to become the go-to for every issue and while that suits some it doesn't others. Same with being the 'expert' - you're seen as being good so that's now your job. Some people love the security that brings, I always viewed it as a trap.
Shift to new projects, you've got one thing spun up, time to repeat that for something else. Some love to latch onto something for the long term security of it, personally I find the interest in doing the early innovation & definition & startup rather than the tedious day to day detail and bounce between all sorts as I'm easily bored. Not always easy to escape though if you're seen as too critical.
Imposter syndrome is obviously a thing, can't recommend much to help that beyond just not thinking about it. Narcissism is a brilliant preventative (I highly recommend it) but if you don't have it you aren't going to pick it up.
I had similar feelings back in my mid 30s, 53 now.
Had similar worries and like you I was doing over 100 hours a week, tryig to build my career whilst also trying to start a family. I had many different pressures, self expectations, goals that I wanted to achieve. What you are suffering from is burn out. You can only do those hours for a small period of time before it frys you. You decision making logic goes haywire, your ability to evaluate a situation goes wrong and you start questioning life, work, relationships.
Its like a snow globe being shakened. All those snow bits are thoughts, issues spining around. Somehow you need to step back, take time out. You need that globe to settle.
Once it does then you can think logically, see the wood through the tress etc. Eventually I left my contract, took a year out as it took me 3 months to drop out of the work mind set.
As for feeling someone may catch you out and discovery you know nothing....:-) Ive been working in IT for 34 years, and I feel that daily. lol
Had similar worries and like you I was doing over 100 hours a week, tryig to build my career whilst also trying to start a family. I had many different pressures, self expectations, goals that I wanted to achieve. What you are suffering from is burn out. You can only do those hours for a small period of time before it frys you. You decision making logic goes haywire, your ability to evaluate a situation goes wrong and you start questioning life, work, relationships.
Its like a snow globe being shakened. All those snow bits are thoughts, issues spining around. Somehow you need to step back, take time out. You need that globe to settle.
Once it does then you can think logically, see the wood through the tress etc. Eventually I left my contract, took a year out as it took me 3 months to drop out of the work mind set.
As for feeling someone may catch you out and discovery you know nothing....:-) Ive been working in IT for 34 years, and I feel that daily. lol
A lot what you say OP I cannot relate to as I don’t have my own business. But I can relate to burn out and the secondary effects that has. And I can relate to life changing events that happen to us so quickly.
Simple advice. Take a significant break. Grab the family, and do something different, together. Rebuild that foundation. Because otherwise, as seems to be my motto, we don’t know what will happen tomorrow.
Work can be delegated. Family can’t.
Simple advice. Take a significant break. Grab the family, and do something different, together. Rebuild that foundation. Because otherwise, as seems to be my motto, we don’t know what will happen tomorrow.
Work can be delegated. Family can’t.
theburneraccount said:
but that would be shooting the golden goose at the moment. I keep saying "two years time" to do something different but I cannot prioritise my own health over making sure that I've secured the future for my family.
I'm pretty crap at advice, and depends what you consider 'securing a future' but would think prioritising your health and securing a future for your family shouldn't really be mutually exclusive, if anything, they should in a way actually mean the same thing. I know if it were my dad or partner then I'd be a lot happier in the lookahead knowing they weren't depressed more than anything else. theburneraccount said:
Hoofy - thank you. I do have a team, they are great, but they are junior and need help. We're a victim of my own success in that we generate a ton of hard stuff and clients want to see me supporting on it (since they came to us because of me). My wife is acutely aware of my mental state having supported me through a lot of difficult times in the past. Coach - I can see the thought process, fix work and the rest should follow - it is a fair point and I might message you, thank you.
"I do have a team, they are great, but they are junior and need help. We're a victim of my own success in that we generate a ton of hard stuff and clients want to see me supporting on it (since they came to us because of me)."I suspected as much but didn't want to assume too much. Can you bring in external training to help the juniors improve more rapidly? Would/could changing the workflow mean that you can focus on the hard stuff but it would still require less of your time? Is there an aspect of "marketing" so that clients don't necessarily need you to manage the minutiae and you end up giving the "seal of approval" without having to work 30 hours a day? It might be that you need to speak to peers to manage things or develop a different understanding of how you work.
"My wife is acutely aware of my mental state having supported me through a lot of difficult times in the past."
It's good that she's supportive of you. She will understand if you're trying to wind things back in some aspect. I've witnessed similar where the wife has encourage the husband to take a step back but the husband still feels the need to take on a demanding job much to the detriment of his health. There may be an element of you getting in your own way. Something to think about.
"Coach - I can see the thought process, fix work and the rest should follow - it is a fair point and I might message you, thank you."
A coach can help you to think things through as well as actually take each step because it's all well and good having a plan but you can still stay where you are because you get caught up in the everyday activities and forget about taking a top-down view of things and even looking at the bigger picture of your life. We've all been there! That said, it's good that you're aware of things - awareness is the first step.
Don’t underestimate the effects of ageing and also with those hours, burn out.
By definition you’ve climbed to the top of the tree and have a lot to be proud of and thankful for, but a mid life crisis (while often dismissed as something of a joke among men) will take many forms, can be dangerous and is always evolving.
It’s always easy to analyse someone else’s problems when not viewing through their lens, so you have folks close to you you can discuss with to begin to get a perspective on how you feel and what they suggest?
It might only be small things you need to change to make yourself feel good again, but if the condition evolves, it might take a different track down the line and you ideally need to develop a way of working with it, whatever it manifests as next time.
By definition you’ve climbed to the top of the tree and have a lot to be proud of and thankful for, but a mid life crisis (while often dismissed as something of a joke among men) will take many forms, can be dangerous and is always evolving.
It’s always easy to analyse someone else’s problems when not viewing through their lens, so you have folks close to you you can discuss with to begin to get a perspective on how you feel and what they suggest?
It might only be small things you need to change to make yourself feel good again, but if the condition evolves, it might take a different track down the line and you ideally need to develop a way of working with it, whatever it manifests as next time.
theburneraccount said:
Neptune188 said:
If you keep doing what you're doing then the outcome won't change. Sounds like work is what's breaking you.
I could walk away from it, but there's nothing to cash out.Surely you've got more than enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life?
Why would the children ever go hungry? That's just irrational, you earn more in a year than most people do in a lifetime of work.
You must be missing out on the children growing up, impossible not to if you're working that much. That would be my focus. In another 10 years when you're sitting in an empty nest you're not going to wish you'd spent less time with the children. We've just spent 30 days in a camper with the Children going round Canada, absolutely fantastic, lifelong memories. I'd be doing as much of that sort of stuff as I could afford.
Why would the children ever go hungry? That's just irrational, you earn more in a year than most people do in a lifetime of work.
You must be missing out on the children growing up, impossible not to if you're working that much. That would be my focus. In another 10 years when you're sitting in an empty nest you're not going to wish you'd spent less time with the children. We've just spent 30 days in a camper with the Children going round Canada, absolutely fantastic, lifelong memories. I'd be doing as much of that sort of stuff as I could afford.
Thank you everyone - I genuinely really appreciate all the time taken to think and respond and there's some really helpful thoughts on here.
To the last question, can I live comfortably off what I've made - not at the moment. £2.15m this year is a ridiculous sum for sure, but I've not been earning those sums for that long. I've got around £1.2m of borrowing on the house which needs to go and I want to bank some cash for private secondary school for the girls when that comes along, although that is still TBC on if we do that, since we're lucky with the state schools around us. Our plan has us clearing the mortgage and prepping for school / uni costs over the next three years. Just need to keep up a reasonable showing at work until then.
The funny thing is that financially, I'm not actually too concerned. We're not over-extended on borrowing, our house is basically brand new and cars are all paid for, and I'm at a stage in my career with the firm that I can almost certainly earn what is needed over the next 3 years to be debt-free. It's just whether I can actually do those 3 years or if I'm actually going to come apart at the seams in the meantime.
I appreciate that some of this is not consistent with previous statements made - how you can feel financially unconcerned whilst worrying about feeding the kids in 2 years time? The answer is, I'm completely all over the place and at times I've no idea what's going on in my head. My mood will shift from one hour to the next. Partially, my mood has shifted for the positive across this morning simply by doing this process.
To the last question, can I live comfortably off what I've made - not at the moment. £2.15m this year is a ridiculous sum for sure, but I've not been earning those sums for that long. I've got around £1.2m of borrowing on the house which needs to go and I want to bank some cash for private secondary school for the girls when that comes along, although that is still TBC on if we do that, since we're lucky with the state schools around us. Our plan has us clearing the mortgage and prepping for school / uni costs over the next three years. Just need to keep up a reasonable showing at work until then.
The funny thing is that financially, I'm not actually too concerned. We're not over-extended on borrowing, our house is basically brand new and cars are all paid for, and I'm at a stage in my career with the firm that I can almost certainly earn what is needed over the next 3 years to be debt-free. It's just whether I can actually do those 3 years or if I'm actually going to come apart at the seams in the meantime.
I appreciate that some of this is not consistent with previous statements made - how you can feel financially unconcerned whilst worrying about feeding the kids in 2 years time? The answer is, I'm completely all over the place and at times I've no idea what's going on in my head. My mood will shift from one hour to the next. Partially, my mood has shifted for the positive across this morning simply by doing this process.
Edited by theburneraccount on Monday 1st September 12:04
It’s really quite simple.
Do you need a big expensive house?
Do you need to have the cars and toys?
Do your children need a private education?
Do you need to earn as much as you do?
You only need to earn what you do because of the choices you have made.
Most people think these things give them joy and happiness but in reality the simple things are most often the things which bring true joy and contentment. I use contentment because happiness is a fleeting moment in time,contentment is long term.
When push comes the shove all we really need is shelter,food and a loving,healthy family.
We only chase the other crap because that’s what society tells you is a successful life.
A successful life is being free from expectation and doing your own thing.
Do you need a big expensive house?
Do you need to have the cars and toys?
Do your children need a private education?
Do you need to earn as much as you do?
You only need to earn what you do because of the choices you have made.
Most people think these things give them joy and happiness but in reality the simple things are most often the things which bring true joy and contentment. I use contentment because happiness is a fleeting moment in time,contentment is long term.
When push comes the shove all we really need is shelter,food and a loving,healthy family.
We only chase the other crap because that’s what society tells you is a successful life.
A successful life is being free from expectation and doing your own thing.
theburneraccount said:
It's just whether I can actually do those 3 years or if I'm actually going to come apart at the seams in the meantime.
The thing about high paying jobs that demand everything of you is that it's not just about giving your time when required but also what you do between "shifts". And it's not about waiting for the st to hit the fan before using that mindfulness app for 30 seconds and then saying it's not working.If you want to sustain that level of demand then you need to have self-care practices in place that ensure you don't burn out quickly. This isn't just "going to the gym", "doing 6 hours on the road bike through the South Downs", "having a Friday drink with the lads" or even "weekly sessions with the therapist". It's about managing what's going on inside your head. Yes, that's my expertise.
Or to put it in a Pistonheads way, if you're going to do a 6 hour trackday at Silverstone, you don't wait until things go wrong before sorting your car out; you prep your car appropriately beforehand: fresh tyres, enough fuel, check all levels, fresh brakes, etc. And you do this before every trackday.
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