Kids in the Bath

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Discussion

Glassman

Original Poster:

23,652 posts

230 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
A mate's daughter (Polish) is living in Holland and dating a guy there. He's Dutch. He has a daughter, 6, and she has two (twins) who are four years-old. She lives with her daughters and he has his at home with him on his days off. All five of them are currently on a break together in Wroclaw staying in what sounds like ABNB accommodation.

My friend popped round to see me yesterday and expressed concern in a situation that came up at bath time. His daughter bathed the twins as she usually does. Once she was done, the BF went in to bathe his daughter but they both jumped in the bath together. I'm trying to get my head around this one.

I have two sons, and sometimes used to plonk them in the bath with me when they were toddlers. I would sometimes shower with them but not after say three, four years-old. A guy with his six year-old daughter? Could that be a Dutch cultural thing?

Garemberg

438 posts

104 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Is the question here is it ok for a Dad to have a bath with a six year old daughter? If so I still do as does mum, although now I think about it a lot less now she is older and more aware of anatomy. Saying that we are very open and make sure she is aware of proper terms for her body etc.

grumbledoak

32,150 posts

248 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
I think this is less a "Dutch cultural thing" and more an English cultural thing. It's us. We are properly and famously fked up about nudity.

Johnspex

4,720 posts

199 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Why would you do that?
It must be physically uncomfortable for both of you.
Are you short of hot water or something?

Southerner

2,072 posts

67 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Anybody sharing a functional bath - i.e. both being in it for the actual purpose of washing, rather than just splashing about with a tiny baby etc - is a bit grim, surely? My missus dislikes a bath at all as she thinks it involves sitting in your own dirt, which is probably a bit OTT, personally I think a long soak is fab but I certainly wouldn t fancy sitting in someone else s used water!

I would strongly suspect that in the UK a father taking a bath fully unclothed with a six year old child might well warrant a nosey from Social Services, however innocent it might be. But of course different countries, different cultures!

Bob-iylho

759 posts

121 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Southerner said:
I would strongly suspect that in the UK a father taking a bath fully unclothed with a six year old child might well warrant a nosey from Social Services, however innocent it might be.
Seriously ................ the world is fked up.

Mr E

22,499 posts

274 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Southerner said:
I would strongly suspect that in the UK a father taking a bath fully unclothed with a six year old child might well warrant a nosey from Social Services, however innocent it might be. But of course different countries, different cultures!
Put the daily mail down and have a good look at yourself.

jfdi

1,206 posts

190 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
grumbledoak said:
I think this is less a "Dutch cultural thing" and more an English cultural thing. It's us. We are properly and famously fked up about nudity.
Southerners post, proving your point completely.

Evanivitch

24,645 posts

137 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Bob-iylho said:
Southerner said:
I would strongly suspect that in the UK a father taking a bath fully unclothed with a six year old child might well warrant a nosey from Social Services, however innocent it might be.
Seriously ................ the world is fked up.
Ironically, the same people that complain about "snitches" with dash cams now advocating social services.

TwigtheWonderkid

46,363 posts

165 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Southerner said:
I would strongly suspect that in the UK a father taking a bath fully unclothed with a six year old child might well warrant a nosey from Social Services, however innocent it might be. But of course different countries, different cultures!
What about mum sharing a bath with her 6 y/o son. Personally, I don't see an issue either way. I had 2 sons so the dad daughter thing wasn't a problem I had to think about.

Southerner

2,072 posts

67 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Evanivitch said:
Bob-iylho said:
Southerner said:
I would strongly suspect that in the UK a father taking a bath fully unclothed with a six year old child might well warrant a nosey from Social Services, however innocent it might be.
Seriously ................ the world is fked up.
Ironically, the same people that complain about "snitches" with dash cams now advocating social services.
I must have missed the post advocating social services; was it somewhere near my post which merely mentioned them? No idea where dashcams come into it, wouldn’t recommend taking one in the bath.

A friend of a family member had a visit because her young son was temporarily sharing a bedroom with her, owing to the house being rather full at the time - utterly innocent but he’d mentioned it to his school who duly passed it on. It might well be a bit ‘Daily Mail’, but they’re a keen bunch. If I found myself chatting to a social worker I wouldn’t particularly fancy mentioning a habit of taking baths with my kids; presumably the OP and his acquaintance also think it’s worthy of note, hence their conversation and the opening post.

Southerner

2,072 posts

67 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Southerner said:
I would strongly suspect that in the UK a father taking a bath fully unclothed with a six year old child might well warrant a nosey from Social Services, however innocent it might be. But of course different countries, different cultures!
What about mum sharing a bath with her 6 y/o son. Personally, I don't see an issue either way. I had 2 sons so the dad daughter thing wasn't a problem I had to think about.
Very much subjective Id think, depending on all sort of factors - hence my apparently deeply inflammatory suggestion that it might run the risk of attention from the authorities if somebody elses views differed from those of the bathing parent!

In a similar vein, at what age does it become inappropriate/unacceptable? Again, it ll differ wildly Im sure!

otolith

61,818 posts

219 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Some cultures are less hung up about non-sexual nudity than others. Famously, Scandinavians. It has been suggested that in recent years Northern Europeans have become more prudish, possibly because of American cultural influence, possibly because everyone carries a camera with them these days.

Rebew

308 posts

107 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
I have two sons aged 7 and 5 and I dont bathe with them although that is more to do with the fact that our bath is quite small and I am quite large!

They will often walk into the bathroom when either my wife or I are showering so will see us nude and I dont think that is unacceptable so that does rather beg the question of when will it become unacceptable? As a nation we are very conservative about nudity and I think that can often cause it's own problems. I grew up playing rugby and doing a lot of watersports so shared showers are not unusual for me but it is something that as Brits we tend to have a big problem with.

Baroque attacks

5,738 posts

201 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Mr E said:
Southerner said:
I would strongly suspect that in the UK a father taking a bath fully unclothed with a six year old child might well warrant a nosey from Social Services, however innocent it might be. But of course different countries, different cultures!
Put the daily mail down and have a good look at yourself.
Very much so.

Southerner

2,072 posts

67 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
Baroque attacks said:
Mr E said:
Southerner said:
I would strongly suspect that in the UK a father taking a bath fully unclothed with a six year old child might well warrant a nosey from Social Services, however innocent it might be. But of course different countries, different cultures!
Put the daily mail down and have a good look at yourself.
Very much so.
No, I get all my news and balanced views from Pistonheads, I find there’s not enough outrage in the DM wink

As I’ve noted, I’m not of the view that it should warrant the door being battered down but it wouldn’t particularly surprise me if the Social lot felt they should visit and check up on things, and nor would it surprise me in the least if that was the sort of thing that many a primary school teacher might feel obliged to ‘pass on’, as they sometimes do these days. Such is the world that we live in.

AllyM

481 posts

191 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
To someone with no kids, this does seem a bit weird. Fully understand for younger, smaller kids but why at that age?

bergclimber34

1,325 posts

8 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
In the 70s my mum got a visit from the social, primarily because I loved being thrown up and caught in the air by her, she also balanced me on her feet on her back and dropped me, I loved it.

Some wazark reported her, got short shrift obviously, we found out later this cow was bitter cuz she could not have kids.

lizardbrain

2,890 posts

52 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
I think my son stopped jumping in the bath with me, around late five years. I don't think he did it after his sixth birthday.

I don't think there is a specific age where it becomes inappropriate. It just comes down to what the child prefers.

I'm talking specifically about bath time here. In terms of general nudity, that didn't really slow down after six. He got more prudish around strangers, I guess- But not family.

I'm vaguely aware that social services would probably look down on it, and don't oppose caution on their part in general. There are some twisted people out there. Not me though, honest!


Edited by lizardbrain on Friday 25th July 12:33

ChocolateFrog

32,159 posts

188 months

Friday 25th July
quotequote all
grumbledoak said:
I think this is less a "Dutch cultural thing" and more an English cultural thing. It's us. We are properly and famously fked up about nudity.
100% this.

We're really fked up, most don't realise.

A ridiculous thing to start a thread over but here we are.