My theory of anger
Discussion
Having recently (possibly foolishly) been round to my ex and been rewarded with a doorstep tantrum after which I realised she is beyond reach - I've been pondering.
Anger is a kind of superficial emotion that replaces reason and facts - a sort of phlisophical compression for ease of handling.
When you go away and sit down and figure out the reason/s for the anger, various parts emerge. You look at them, re-arrange them a bit and see the whole picture. And then, there is no anger any more, because it has been resolved like a mathematical equation. It has gone because you understand what created it.
Unfortunately, you have to be sufficiently philisophical to do this and it takes a brutal non-evasive self-honesty that some people would prefer not to face. And those people stay angry, and confused, and discontent. When you try to reason with them, they get still more angry, because they sense that hidden truths might surface.
Am I right?
Anger is a kind of superficial emotion that replaces reason and facts - a sort of phlisophical compression for ease of handling.
When you go away and sit down and figure out the reason/s for the anger, various parts emerge. You look at them, re-arrange them a bit and see the whole picture. And then, there is no anger any more, because it has been resolved like a mathematical equation. It has gone because you understand what created it.
Unfortunately, you have to be sufficiently philisophical to do this and it takes a brutal non-evasive self-honesty that some people would prefer not to face. And those people stay angry, and confused, and discontent. When you try to reason with them, they get still more angry, because they sense that hidden truths might surface.
Am I right?
that was foolish.I've got this theory that some people deliberatley allow their anger to dominate, as a form of entertainment. But you could be on to something there - maybe some people allow their anger to dominate because a tiny part of their brain thinks its a less humiliating way of dealing with something? Angry people tend to get their own way more often too, maybe if you learn that when you're young then letting it boil over just becomes second nature as a problem solving strategy?
groucho said:
groucho said:
I think you're reading too much into it. True anger is just fight or flight really.
Nah, I'd disagree with that - fight maybe, but not flight.
All depends who you are, some scrap some crap.
>> Edited by groucho on Friday 30th September 20:39
My flat mate just came into my room to see what I was laughing out load at.
Angeer does overrule logic as it is part of your basic "Fight or flight" system which is part of the reason we lived long enough to evolve to where we are today.
If you pondered the time to consider every option when you are in grave mortal danger, by the time you have finished you may well be dead.
Obviously a temper tantrum because of emotional instability is slightly different but the tantrum part is the same as that basic mechanism.
I find
helps... 
If you pondered the time to consider every option when you are in grave mortal danger, by the time you have finished you may well be dead.
Obviously a temper tantrum because of emotional instability is slightly different but the tantrum part is the same as that basic mechanism.
I find
helps... People, like your ex, who continually get angry instead of talking reason are usually too far gone to change. If I (accidentally) employ someone like that they will be fired. My theory of such people is that they were spoilt as kids. They probably never got a slapped wrist and sent to their bedroom - shortly followed by an explanation and a cuddle.
I reckon people like your ex will continue to lead pathetic and unhappy lives until they find someone to spoil them like their parents used to.
I reckon people like your ex will continue to lead pathetic and unhappy lives until they find someone to spoil them like their parents used to.
Anger seems to me to be all the little things things that annoy you or piss you off, being bottled up and then suddenly exploding.
Anger is your tip point, the bit where you just can't take anymore and, instead of being logical your brain thinks "Ah f**k it, just punch him". Anger is often aimed at someone who doesn't deserve it. Example - you've had a bad day at work, come home and take it out on your kids -> why do you think there is so much child abuse.
Its simply when you can't take all the little niggling things anymore. Its rarely let off over an extended period of time or by sorting out the little bits.
Or of course you just become totally depressed an kill yourself
.
All IMHO of course
Anger is your tip point, the bit where you just can't take anymore and, instead of being logical your brain thinks "Ah f**k it, just punch him". Anger is often aimed at someone who doesn't deserve it. Example - you've had a bad day at work, come home and take it out on your kids -> why do you think there is so much child abuse.
Its simply when you can't take all the little niggling things anymore. Its rarely let off over an extended period of time or by sorting out the little bits.
Or of course you just become totally depressed an kill yourself
. All IMHO of course
I sage piece of advice from my old dad:
"always be careful of a quiet man in a fight"
Anyone who enters into any conflict with a calm head needs watching. The ranting shouters who display their anger are doing it to bluff you into backing down (whether its physical or emotional). The dangerous ones are those that calmly roll their sleeves up and wait for a set to....
"always be careful of a quiet man in a fight"
Anyone who enters into any conflict with a calm head needs watching. The ranting shouters who display their anger are doing it to bluff you into backing down (whether its physical or emotional). The dangerous ones are those that calmly roll their sleeves up and wait for a set to....
aldi said:
I've got this theory that some people deliberatley allow their anger to dominate, as a form of entertainment. But you could be on to something there - maybe some people allow their anger to dominate because a tiny part of their brain thinks its a less humiliating way of dealing with something? Angry people tend to get their own way more often too, maybe if you learn that when you're young then letting it boil over just becomes second nature as a problem solving strategy?
WOW!
I know one guy that is either really pissed off or really happy, there is no inbetween at all.
I think your prognosis sums him up perfectly and I had never thought about why he was that way until now!
Ta for that
I'll point it out to him, that'll really piss him off
I think people stay angry/depressed/frustrated because they have trouble really defining the problem or figuring out how to handle it should it happen again in the future. Someone might be angry because of something that happened to them, but may distrust their ability to read the situation/figure out the causes of things so that they can have a better plan next time and let the past go. That's why they keep rehashing the past in their mind, start distrusting their own judgement, and then distrust others as well. Of course, some people have a lower threashold in the first place, and are prone to anxiety that brings it all on faster. That's just been my experience.
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