‘All show and no go’, your nominations and recollections

[daqinggregg]

A current Fiesta ST 1.5 will produce rip-snorting 197 BHP, enough the make a RS2000 recoil and blush with embarrassment.

We all know power figures are meaningless, one can have as much fun 65BHP MG Midget as an AMG C63, the former weighs the same as a cigarette paper with the structural integrity of cream cheese, the latter will save a chimp from imminent death, with its myriad of safety features.

However, once upon a time, manufacturers liked to lure us with promises of sporting finesse all dressed up in a nice frock.

I present for your delectation, the Vauxhall Viva E Coupe. A sublime snickerty gear change, coupled to an asthmatic 1256cc engine, producing 59 throbbing horses.



All backed up by the handing characteristic of a fisherman’s conical, and an interior like a North Korean doctor’s waiting room; marginally better than taking the bus, the definition of automotive grim!

Petrolheads, what are your nominations for “all show and no go” along with any recollections/images, you may have of such sporting steeds?

[DodgyGeezer]

I would imagine that this is pretty much the definition of "all show and no go" (as much as I'd like one!!!). I accept that a 0-60 waddle sprint of 7.3 seconds isn't exactly slow by the standards of the day performance from the beefy 185hp means that the looks definitely over-took the performance...

[toon10]

The first car I ever drove was a Vauxhall Viva saloon with a 1.3 pushrod engine. She was known as Saturday Night Viva. My cousin once made me and 3 mates vacate the car when he was parked on a hill at temporary traffic lights so he had enough to get up the hill from a standing start

[nicanary]

DeLorean must be the ultimate.

[vpr]

Another vote for Delorian.

But all US cars went downhill in the 70’s. Shockingly poor power from a strangled Big V8

[some bloke]

vpr said:

Another vote for Delorian.

But all US cars went downhill in the 70’s. Shockingly poor power from a strangled Big V8

Known as the Malaise Era.

[FlyVintage]

some bloke said:

vpr said:

Another vote for Delorian.

But all US cars went downhill in the 70’s. Shockingly poor power from a strangled Big V8

Known as the Malaise Era.

In reality, even the pre-smog era USA V8’s weren’t all that quick until looking at the headline models. Even then, many press prepared cars were not very representative of what the general public got from the showroom. However, they certainly were easily and cheaply tuneable into something (arguably) that they should have been in the first place.

[willisit]

Manual DeLorean was 8.5 seconds to 60mph from 130hp. Is that really bad for the time (given the fuel/oil crisis and whatnot)? It's certainly not fast -but these days given the size of it, the lack of power steering and whatnot, it feels "appropriate"

[InitialDave]

Many older kit cars, but in particular the Nova, which looks very cool, sleek, and futuristic (in that 70s way), but is motivated with aircooled VW leftovers, so something like 60bhp if not breathed on a bit.



For a current example, Toyota Japan will sell you a GR Yaris "RS", which looks exactly like a normal GR Yaris but with a fwd 1.5 CVT powertrain boasting a mighty 118bhp.

[Watcher of the skies]

Capri 1.3

[DodgyGeezer]

vpr said:

Another vote for Delorian.

But all US cars went downhill in the 70’s. Shockingly poor power from a strangled Big V8

apart from the DeLorian was a Reggie V6

[Turbobanana]

It's amusing that we laugh about them now, but smaller engined cars were once popular in the UK with a certain demographic that cared more about looks than performance: witness the number of 1.3 / 1.6 Capris, Firenzas etc that were sold.

Also, there was huge demand on the continent for cars that would cruise all day at high speeds but weren't required to accelerate quickly. Think German Autobahnen - kilometres of stratight-ish, smooth roads where you could legitimately make good progress without the need to break your neck accelerating. Result = millions of "underpowered" Audis, BMWs and Benzes. Audi 100s with 1.6 4-pots (petrol or diesel), BMWs with the same and Mercedes 200s and 200Ds all sold in healthy numbers. The original VW Beetle was perfect for this use profile, with an engine designed to be run flat-out all day long.

[WPA]

[Granadier]

InitialDave said:

Many older kit cars, but in particular the Nova, which looks very cool, sleek, and futuristic (in that 70s way), but is motivated with aircooled VW leftovers, so something like 60bhp if not breathed on a bit.

.

Any mention of the Nova always reminds me of one of my favourite films when I was a boy, in which a Nova is a superspy's car and able to outrun a team of Porsche 911s [and what may or may not be a real 935]...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z18LpIEA5ys

[gamefreaks]

I had an Astra SRi as a hire car from Enterprise.

Looked smart, wondered why they had it as a hire car. When I was younger, the Cav/Astra SRi were council-estate Ferraris.

Get in, see the 180mph speedo so i'm expecting a 200bhp 2.0 or something.



No. It's got a 1.2 with 100bhp. Barely capable of moving.

[Turbobanana]

gamefreaks said:

No. It's got a 1.2 with 100bhp. Barely capable of moving.

Odd comment. Do you not think the engineers might have noticed that in the million or so kilometers they did in testing? Manufacturers will put any badge on any car these days, knowing it'll convince somebody to buy one. Witness every BMW no wearing the mandatory "M" badge, VWs always being an "R" even when they're a diesel MPV and the Porsche Taycan Turbo, which can't be even if it tried.

[Mr Tidy]

Turbobanana said:

It's amusing that we laugh about them now, but smaller engined cars were once popular in the UK with a certain demographic that cared more about looks than performance: witness the number of 1.3 / 1.6 Capris, Firenzas etc that were sold.

They were pretty woeful though. Could possibly add the Marina 1.3 Coupe to that list.

The company car culture in the 70s/80s didn't help either. My employer at the time had 1.1 litre Escort Populars as the bottom rung of the hierarchy. Assistant managers got a 1.3l Cavalier, although when I drove one it was a bit better than I had expected!

[daqinggregg]

Mr Tidy said:

Turbobanana said:

It's amusing that we laugh about them now, but smaller engined cars were once popular in the UK with a certain demographic that cared more about looks than performance: witness the number of 1.3 / 1.6 Capris, Firenzas etc that were sold.

They were pretty woeful though. Could possibly add the Marina 1.3 Coupe to that list.

The company car culture in the 70s/80s didn't help either. My employer at the time had 1.1 litre Escort Populars as the bottom rung of the hierarchy. Assistant managers got a 1.3l Cavalier, although when I drove one it was a bit better than I had expected!

I find something oddly appealing about a ratty old Merc W115 200D, the idea of having to go somewhere slowly is rather comforting.

The thread is “all show no go” no one was expecting a Escort 1.1L to be fast, despite the best efforts of 80’s office supplies, sales personnel.

[daqinggregg]

Watcher of the skies said:

Capri 1.3

The most surprising thing, they made a 1300cc variant through the entire models life.





57 horses, 0 – 100kph 19.4 seconds, max speed 88, at 70mph you’d have been thrashing the living daylights out of it.



It would appear1300cc MK I/MK II are very rare, MK III are like rocking horse ….!

[daqinggregg]

toon10 said:

The first car I ever drove was a Vauxhall Viva saloon with a 1.3 pushrod engine. She was known as Saturday Night Viva. My cousin once made me and 3 mates vacate the car when he was parked on a hill at temporary traffic lights so he had enough to get up the hill from a standing start

"She was known as Saturday Night Viva."