Good behaviour contract - for young teen/media use
Discussion
Sounds awful even considering this and the words "good behaviour contract" but what else can I do?
He's uses hook and crook to circumvent 3hrs per day max of all screentime. That's across phone/PlayStation etc.
He hides a tablet that he said he couldn't remember where he put it so....
For the past two days I have taken everything from him. To get them back- he needs to take me through a daily PlayStation time limit lock? (only I will know the password etc) and I'll print off rules that I'll put on the door.
Is this the way to do it, or is there a better way?
He's uses hook and crook to circumvent 3hrs per day max of all screentime. That's across phone/PlayStation etc.
He hides a tablet that he said he couldn't remember where he put it so....
For the past two days I have taken everything from him. To get them back- he needs to take me through a daily PlayStation time limit lock? (only I will know the password etc) and I'll print off rules that I'll put on the door.
Is this the way to do it, or is there a better way?
Change the main WIFI password.
Buy a Wireless access point, connect it to the existing router, set it up with a dedicated network just for him.
Either use the features of the access point to enable/disable the WIFI on a schedule, or just unplug it and lock it away when 3 hours is up.
He could still play offline on his playstation I guess, but I suspect, as with most kids, he wants to play with his mates.
Buy a Wireless access point, connect it to the existing router, set it up with a dedicated network just for him.
Either use the features of the access point to enable/disable the WIFI on a schedule, or just unplug it and lock it away when 3 hours is up.
He could still play offline on his playstation I guess, but I suspect, as with most kids, he wants to play with his mates.
How about rewarding him for effort and achievement? If he does something, he gets 30 minutes of fun or whatever. The "something" is down to you to decide. The reward is also down to you. Maybe that forms part of the agreement, rather than a decree from on high, you agree on a reward and effort system. If he's into gyming or wants to improve something in his life (eg a sport) or loves Andrew Tate (he's a young teen so who knows if Tate has his tentacles on your son's mind or not), this kind of thing is great for developing consistency, resilience and discipline.
I use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
I use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
Hoofy said:
How about rewarding him for effort and achievement? If he does something, he gets 30 minutes of fun or whatever. The "something" is down to you to decide. The reward is also down to you. Maybe that forms part of the agreement, rather than a decree from on high, you agree on a reward and effort system. If he's into gyming or wants to improve something in his life (eg a sport) or loves Andrew Tate (he's a young teen so who knows if Tate has his tentacles on your son's mind or not), this kind of thing is great for developing consistency, resilience and discipline.
I use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
This. Training a kid/human is no different to training a dog - reward themI use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
Hoofy said:
How about rewarding him for effort and achievement? If he does something, he gets 30 minutes of fun or whatever. The "something" is down to you to decide. The reward is also down to you. Maybe that forms part of the agreement, rather than a decree from on high, you agree on a reward and effort system. If he's into gyming or wants to improve something in his life (eg a sport) or loves Andrew Tate (he's a young teen so who knows if Tate has his tentacles on your son's mind or not), this kind of thing is great for developing consistency, resilience and discipline.
I use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
He loves gaming the system i.e. trying to beat me and get round any rule. I know we would probably have been like this to a degree but hes very manipulative. Which is worrying. I admire the first part but not the manipulative side. I use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
He's 14.
MOMACC said:
It's 2024 screen time is everywhere.
He's 14 - what else is he going to do, sit with mum and dad and play board games?
If I was 14 and I had 2 weeks off from school I'd be online all day too, it's what kids do these days.
So..... he went to the in laws on Xmas Eve for 4 days. He's interacted! I went to get a curry in Bradford tonight and in passing popped in and.... he's currently playing Monopoly with his Uncles and Aunts He's 14 - what else is he going to do, sit with mum and dad and play board games?
If I was 14 and I had 2 weeks off from school I'd be online all day too, it's what kids do these days.
It won't last but... here's a good chance to try and reset..
Hugo Stiglitz said:
Hoofy said:
How about rewarding him for effort and achievement? If he does something, he gets 30 minutes of fun or whatever. The "something" is down to you to decide. The reward is also down to you. Maybe that forms part of the agreement, rather than a decree from on high, you agree on a reward and effort system. If he's into gyming or wants to improve something in his life (eg a sport) or loves Andrew Tate (he's a young teen so who knows if Tate has his tentacles on your son's mind or not), this kind of thing is great for developing consistency, resilience and discipline.
I use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
He loves gaming the system i.e. trying to beat me and get round any rule. I know we would probably have been like this to a degree but hes very manipulative. Which is worrying. I admire the first part but not the manipulative side. I use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
He's 14.
Jimjimhim said:
3hrs of all screen time? So a film followed by about 1 hour of playing, no wonder he wants to get around your rules!
That’s three hours!How can that be healthy?
We went for to a Christmas Day brunch for about 6/7 couples. Arrived 12:00 left at 18:30.
Kids ranged from 6mths to 13.
Appalls me how many parents pretty much on arrival hand over a phone or tablet.
One 13 year old barely looked up for 5 hours.
Couple of the 7-10 years old on tablets. Their own tablets (seriously?) over a lunch.
Honestly it appals me that people give children a phone or tablet during a meal - meals are for interaction. Same in a car. It’s really surprises me how many get a phone for a car journey.
Flights -I totally get it.
The other 13 year old was doing some fantastic drawings on paper. Very impressive.
My 7 year old, my friend’s 6 and another friend’s 10; explored the food, herded some guinea fowl, spent two hours in the pools, did a treasure hunt, met some other kids, collected shells at beach, fought, didn’t want to go home….
We had brought some Lego for my daughter but it didn’t come out of the bag in the end.
You have children, at a Christmas event and you stick them in front of a screen?
So yes, my own view is three hours a day is more than enough.
Hoofy said:
How about rewarding him for effort and achievement? If he does something, he gets 30 minutes of fun or whatever. The "something" is down to you to decide. The reward is also down to you. Maybe that forms part of the agreement, rather than a decree from on high, you agree on a reward and effort system. If he's into gyming or wants to improve something in his life (eg a sport) or loves Andrew Tate (he's a young teen so who knows if Tate has his tentacles on your son's mind or not), this kind of thing is great for developing consistency, resilience and discipline.
I use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
This is a massive problem you are causing here. I use this for motivating myself to create marketing material for my business. Every day for the last 2 years I've been doing this and banging out copy, even on Christmas morning and today. Happy to send over more details if you want a breakdown of this system.
A Reward for interaction with family and friends?
You are advising that a 14 year old should be rewarded for spending time away from the PlayStation?
“Speak to your dad for 30 mins and you get an hour on the computer as a reward” ??
Really??
jdw100 said:
Jimjimhim said:
3hrs of all screen time? So a film followed by about 1 hour of playing, no wonder he wants to get around your rules!
That’s three hours!How can that be healthy?
We went for to a Christmas Day brunch for about 6/7 couples. Arrived 12:00 left at 18:30.
Kids ranged from 6mths to 13.
Appalls me how many parents pretty much on arrival hand over a phone or tablet.
One 13 year old barely looked up for 5 hours.
Couple of the 7-10 years old on tablets. Their own tablets (seriously?) over a lunch.
Honestly it appals me that people give children a phone or tablet during a meal - meals are for interaction. Same in a car. It’s really surprises me how many get a phone for a car journey.
Flights -I totally get it.
The other 13 year old was doing some fantastic drawings on paper. Very impressive.
My 7 year old, my friend’s 6 and another friend’s 10; explored the food, herded some guinea fowl, spent two hours in the pools, did a treasure hunt, met some other kids, collected shells at beach, fought, didn’t want to go home….
We had brought some Lego for my daughter but it didn’t come out of the bag in the end.
You have children, at a Christmas event and you stick them in front of a screen?
So yes, my own view is three hours a day is more than enough.
Some people might think that you letting your child run about wild during brunch, while theirs were sat behaved was terrible parenting.
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