Moving a parent into a care home
Discussion
I think we're on the brink of moving my Dad into a Care Home, he's 84 and in the early stages of Alzheimers. I hate the term, burden, as he's my Dad, but he's a real cause of pressure and stress, mostly on my brother as he lives closer to him.
He's often confused, he's very lonely, and we're worried about his eating and general care. We have a carer going in daily and she's a great help, but it feels like a plaster, and not a fix.
So we're looking into care homes, which is a mighty emotional decision, as one day he's OK, the next he's exhausting and suddenly in need of help with anxiety and other random issues. My brother is out of work at the moment, and Dad is starting to lean on him daily, which won't be OK when he's back in work.
So I'm after experiences about moving a parent into a care home, I am keen on the idea, as living by himself isn't right, but when he's having a good day, he's a wonderful outgoing gregarious old man, and not one you think is ready for a care home.
When did you decide the time was right? What would you do differently if you could do it again? Any regrets?
He's often confused, he's very lonely, and we're worried about his eating and general care. We have a carer going in daily and she's a great help, but it feels like a plaster, and not a fix.
So we're looking into care homes, which is a mighty emotional decision, as one day he's OK, the next he's exhausting and suddenly in need of help with anxiety and other random issues. My brother is out of work at the moment, and Dad is starting to lean on him daily, which won't be OK when he's back in work.
So I'm after experiences about moving a parent into a care home, I am keen on the idea, as living by himself isn't right, but when he's having a good day, he's a wonderful outgoing gregarious old man, and not one you think is ready for a care home.
When did you decide the time was right? What would you do differently if you could do it again? Any regrets?
You'll know when the time is right.
Also you have a right to your own happiness - it sounds brutal - and you need to take care of yourself as well. Please look after your brother. Also you may need a nursing home rather than a care home because of Dad's developing mental issues.
Apologies if that's harsh, but it's the reality.
Also you have a right to your own happiness - it sounds brutal - and you need to take care of yourself as well. Please look after your brother. Also you may need a nursing home rather than a care home because of Dad's developing mental issues.
Apologies if that's harsh, but it's the reality.
My dad went in to a care home when it reached the point my mum couldn't cope looking after him at at home (alzheimers). She was struggling for a while and getting annoyed at things he did, and then angry with herself for being annoyed with him when she knew it wasn't his fault.
Something a friend said at the time, which really proved to be true, was that while dealing with them at home you have to deal with the good and the bad. In a care home the staff take care of the bad and you get to spend the good times with them.
My mother was able to go and visit him every day and spend some happy time with him instead of just being knackered and annoyed all the time. Do not underestimate the strain on the carer, and the benefit of him being with people who are happy to see him.
Something a friend said at the time, which really proved to be true, was that while dealing with them at home you have to deal with the good and the bad. In a care home the staff take care of the bad and you get to spend the good times with them.
My mother was able to go and visit him every day and spend some happy time with him instead of just being knackered and annoyed all the time. Do not underestimate the strain on the carer, and the benefit of him being with people who are happy to see him.
I went through this 18 months ago with my Dad who was 83 at the time. He was living at my home with Mum, his wife of 62yrs but then had his Alzheimer's diagnosis (which we had been pushing for but not getting during the Covid pandemic) and started to go physically downhill quite quickly.
We coped with him at home with the memory loss aspect but then he became double incontinent. It was as if his brain had just disconnected from telling him to go to the loo, then he realised about three seconds before he needed to go, obviously not getting there in time. Those 'accidents' became difficult for my 82yo Mum to deal with.
Shortly after that she was helping him out of his chair and he fell on her, breaking her leg. The two of them spent 5hrs in a heap on the living room floor both unable to move until an ambulance arrived for them. After a month in hospital Social Services stepped in and told us that Dad had to go into care - it was dangerous for them both to be at home together.
It was heartbreaking to tell my dad he was not coming home, I sobbed my eyes out when I had to let him know but we ultimately got him into a good place that was funded half by him, half by the local authority.
I could give you pages of advice, my dad passed away a month ago, having spent 18 months in care. If you want to DM me I'm happy to respond privately when I have more time, but some quick bullet points for now are:
1) Speak to The Alzheimer's Society. They do a personalised, free, callback service which gives you great advice from a trained professional: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support?gad_sour... to help you roadmap the way ahead.
(we asked for donations in lieu of flowers at my dad's funeral last week to specifically support this service, as I found it to be an excellent resource)
2) Establish what your funding position is: fully funded, partially funded, or local authority funded - it makes a huge difference as to where you can place your dad.
3) Speak to a Care Home Finder service local to you. These are free to you, usually run by women who know the industry inside out, and know the inside track on what is good and bad local to you. Through this we found my dad a great care home in a bit of a rough area. I would never have considered it based on its geography, but the care he received there was absolutely exemplary.
4) Go see the care homes. Prepare to be a bit sad, they are bloody depressing places. Ask yourself how many staff are there? Do they look happy in their work? Do the residents look happy? What is their ratio of staff to patients, particularly at night. Dementia suffers lose their bodyclock, want to go walkabout at night, often have falls. How many staff do they have on duty to cope with these, and other patients?
5) How close is it to a hospital, and you? The slightest issue your father will get bussed into the nearest hospital. Make sure wherever possible the care home is near to a decent hospital. Your dad will likely be going there with UTIs, which cause delusion/balance issues.
6) Make sure the home is dual facility i.e. residential and nursing care, as you can be sure at some point your dad will need to transition from the former to the latter. My Dad did 9 months in each. The biggest problem is lack of exercise/mobility leads to muscle atrophy and as their overall condition worsens, becoming bed bound.
7) If possible, pick one where friends can easily visit. Bu sheer chance my Dad's place had a retail park opposite with a Sainsburys. His friends and neighbours used to go and do their shopping then pop across the road to see Dad for half an hour. I live 100 miles away, so could only visit at weekends, but it was great to know his friends were popping in to see him regularly. Some days he had a lucid conversation with them, other days he completely ignored them.
It is a big challenge to find a good place which has a vacancy, which you/your dad can afford. I saw some places that were absolute hellholes that I would not put my worst enemy in - really, really unsafe, staffed by people who seemed like they were on day release from a mental institution. I cried when I left one place because I thought that's what Dad would have to endure in his last days. Then 2hrs later I viewed the place we got him into and knew everything would be OK, which it was. He lived an eventful but well cared for last 18 months and I sleep well at night knowing we did our absolute best for him.
As I say, feel free to DM me if there is anything you don't wish to discuss publicly.
We coped with him at home with the memory loss aspect but then he became double incontinent. It was as if his brain had just disconnected from telling him to go to the loo, then he realised about three seconds before he needed to go, obviously not getting there in time. Those 'accidents' became difficult for my 82yo Mum to deal with.
Shortly after that she was helping him out of his chair and he fell on her, breaking her leg. The two of them spent 5hrs in a heap on the living room floor both unable to move until an ambulance arrived for them. After a month in hospital Social Services stepped in and told us that Dad had to go into care - it was dangerous for them both to be at home together.
It was heartbreaking to tell my dad he was not coming home, I sobbed my eyes out when I had to let him know but we ultimately got him into a good place that was funded half by him, half by the local authority.
I could give you pages of advice, my dad passed away a month ago, having spent 18 months in care. If you want to DM me I'm happy to respond privately when I have more time, but some quick bullet points for now are:
1) Speak to The Alzheimer's Society. They do a personalised, free, callback service which gives you great advice from a trained professional: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support?gad_sour... to help you roadmap the way ahead.
(we asked for donations in lieu of flowers at my dad's funeral last week to specifically support this service, as I found it to be an excellent resource)
2) Establish what your funding position is: fully funded, partially funded, or local authority funded - it makes a huge difference as to where you can place your dad.
3) Speak to a Care Home Finder service local to you. These are free to you, usually run by women who know the industry inside out, and know the inside track on what is good and bad local to you. Through this we found my dad a great care home in a bit of a rough area. I would never have considered it based on its geography, but the care he received there was absolutely exemplary.
4) Go see the care homes. Prepare to be a bit sad, they are bloody depressing places. Ask yourself how many staff are there? Do they look happy in their work? Do the residents look happy? What is their ratio of staff to patients, particularly at night. Dementia suffers lose their bodyclock, want to go walkabout at night, often have falls. How many staff do they have on duty to cope with these, and other patients?
5) How close is it to a hospital, and you? The slightest issue your father will get bussed into the nearest hospital. Make sure wherever possible the care home is near to a decent hospital. Your dad will likely be going there with UTIs, which cause delusion/balance issues.
6) Make sure the home is dual facility i.e. residential and nursing care, as you can be sure at some point your dad will need to transition from the former to the latter. My Dad did 9 months in each. The biggest problem is lack of exercise/mobility leads to muscle atrophy and as their overall condition worsens, becoming bed bound.
7) If possible, pick one where friends can easily visit. Bu sheer chance my Dad's place had a retail park opposite with a Sainsburys. His friends and neighbours used to go and do their shopping then pop across the road to see Dad for half an hour. I live 100 miles away, so could only visit at weekends, but it was great to know his friends were popping in to see him regularly. Some days he had a lucid conversation with them, other days he completely ignored them.
It is a big challenge to find a good place which has a vacancy, which you/your dad can afford. I saw some places that were absolute hellholes that I would not put my worst enemy in - really, really unsafe, staffed by people who seemed like they were on day release from a mental institution. I cried when I left one place because I thought that's what Dad would have to endure in his last days. Then 2hrs later I viewed the place we got him into and knew everything would be OK, which it was. He lived an eventful but well cared for last 18 months and I sleep well at night knowing we did our absolute best for him.
As I say, feel free to DM me if there is anything you don't wish to discuss publicly.
Edited by Shooter McGavin on Wednesday 11th December 11:22
Edited by Shooter McGavin on Wednesday 11th December 11:32
My sister and I put my mum in a care home 2.5 years ago. We wanted somewhere reasonably close to where she was living so her friends could visit and my sister could drop by easily.
We visited 2-3 care homes. All were similar prices but very different. I remember one with lino floors, dark, miserable and smelling of piss. Then we discovered a recently opened home that was modern, fully carpeted, lovely staff who enjoyed working there (check staff retention rates!), and good management. It really is home from home with plenty of activities for those who want to join in.
It took mum 6 months to settle into care home life and I was a bit concerned during that period. But now she’s telling me how good it is there. Her best mates are the staff. She wants for nothing. She feels very secure especially at night because she knows there is always help available. The doctor etc. all visit regularly and monitor her health needs constantly which again gives her confidence.
It means that my sister and I know she’s safe and happy, and if there are any issues we would receive a call immediately. Mum’s 89 in January and likely to live much longer and comfortably in the care home than she would have on her own.
I’d start calling a few homes and go visit them. You’ll know when you find the right one.
We visited 2-3 care homes. All were similar prices but very different. I remember one with lino floors, dark, miserable and smelling of piss. Then we discovered a recently opened home that was modern, fully carpeted, lovely staff who enjoyed working there (check staff retention rates!), and good management. It really is home from home with plenty of activities for those who want to join in.
It took mum 6 months to settle into care home life and I was a bit concerned during that period. But now she’s telling me how good it is there. Her best mates are the staff. She wants for nothing. She feels very secure especially at night because she knows there is always help available. The doctor etc. all visit regularly and monitor her health needs constantly which again gives her confidence.
It means that my sister and I know she’s safe and happy, and if there are any issues we would receive a call immediately. Mum’s 89 in January and likely to live much longer and comfortably in the care home than she would have on her own.
I’d start calling a few homes and go visit them. You’ll know when you find the right one.
Having been dealing with this situation for the last 6-8 years, the fact that you are seriously thinking about it means you are probably at or close to the point of your father needing to go into a home.
If you haven't already and your father is still able to understand what he is doing I'd get lasting powers of attorney sorted as soon as possible, it will make things a lot easier when dealing with things on his behalf.
With my dad, my mum had mainly been looking after hime at home, it was totally tiring her out, we had started to get help in but it was reaching the point he needed more. We had started looking around a few homes, my mum fell over breaking both arms, we had to put my dad in a home 'temporarily' but it made my mum realise he was better cared for there. It is worth at least getting your 'eye' in regards homes so if there is an emergency you are not bounced into something you later don't think is appropriate. I remember when we looked around a couple one was an old country house and came across as a mad house, the next was fairly modern, nice garden, great staff ( some of the home carers had family working there) so when I had to make a quick decision it was fairly easy. Worth asking your fathers carers about local places.
If your dad is fairly able still have a look to see what different types of home are available. A full on care/nursing home they will probably only have a single room with ensuite. I was talking to someone recently and his father sounded similar to yours, they found what sounded like enhanced sheltered housing. Father had own small flat, bedroom, kitchen, living room but there was communal dining room, lounges etc... if wanted. Apparently father was loving it.
I'd avoid buying any sort of sheltered accommodation flat, my grandmother did this and it was a complete pain to sell when she had to move and lost a fortune, I understand this is quite common. If this is suitable I'd try and rent.
Worth asking care homes for indicative costs just to get you head around them. My dad was needing 24/7 care for the last year and was bed bound, we were paying a headline figure of £1944/week, we got an automatic non means tested contribution from the council of I think £234/week which reduced it a bit and then attendance allowance of about £4k a year. The other thing to look into is NHS Continuing Healthcare Funding, this seams to be a complete mine field, I'd started to look into it for my father as I thought he was probably eligible but have not got any further. There was good thread on PH on it, can't find it at the moment.
Even if you don't think your dad is quite ready it is worth getting some groundwork in as if you have to make some quick decisions, say due to a fall, it will be a lot less stressful.
If you haven't already and your father is still able to understand what he is doing I'd get lasting powers of attorney sorted as soon as possible, it will make things a lot easier when dealing with things on his behalf.
With my dad, my mum had mainly been looking after hime at home, it was totally tiring her out, we had started to get help in but it was reaching the point he needed more. We had started looking around a few homes, my mum fell over breaking both arms, we had to put my dad in a home 'temporarily' but it made my mum realise he was better cared for there. It is worth at least getting your 'eye' in regards homes so if there is an emergency you are not bounced into something you later don't think is appropriate. I remember when we looked around a couple one was an old country house and came across as a mad house, the next was fairly modern, nice garden, great staff ( some of the home carers had family working there) so when I had to make a quick decision it was fairly easy. Worth asking your fathers carers about local places.
If your dad is fairly able still have a look to see what different types of home are available. A full on care/nursing home they will probably only have a single room with ensuite. I was talking to someone recently and his father sounded similar to yours, they found what sounded like enhanced sheltered housing. Father had own small flat, bedroom, kitchen, living room but there was communal dining room, lounges etc... if wanted. Apparently father was loving it.
I'd avoid buying any sort of sheltered accommodation flat, my grandmother did this and it was a complete pain to sell when she had to move and lost a fortune, I understand this is quite common. If this is suitable I'd try and rent.
Worth asking care homes for indicative costs just to get you head around them. My dad was needing 24/7 care for the last year and was bed bound, we were paying a headline figure of £1944/week, we got an automatic non means tested contribution from the council of I think £234/week which reduced it a bit and then attendance allowance of about £4k a year. The other thing to look into is NHS Continuing Healthcare Funding, this seams to be a complete mine field, I'd started to look into it for my father as I thought he was probably eligible but have not got any further. There was good thread on PH on it, can't find it at the moment.
Even if you don't think your dad is quite ready it is worth getting some groundwork in as if you have to make some quick decisions, say due to a fall, it will be a lot less stressful.
ThisInJapanese said:
popeyewhite said:
Almost forgot - assuming you have Power of Attorney?
(picking the easy one to answer) We do have it, but only for financial affairs, he refused medical and we never pushed it, which I now regret. If he's living alone then he needs 'supervision' due to the dementia. My MiL was fortunate to have her husband around to look after her in her early days of dementia, but despite the delaying meds she eventually became too hard to manage for him and also my wife who also did a lot of the running around - i'm sure her condition hastened my FiL's death. It only takes a moment for them to pop out for something and then forget where they live, and then they can get aggressive due to the confusion - my MiL got kicked out of her first home after a week for alledgedly hitting another resident, she then got transferred to hospital and then to a more specialist NHS care home where she spent nearly 2 years waiting for an assessment.
Thanks for all the replies. There are too many individual useful pieces of information to individually quote and reply to.
The one piece of advice that I'm acting on right away is to go and see different care homes. I have a couple lined up for this weekend and getting ahead of things feels the right course of action for now.
When I'm able to I'll get back to a few points individually.
Thanks all
The one piece of advice that I'm acting on right away is to go and see different care homes. I have a couple lined up for this weekend and getting ahead of things feels the right course of action for now.
When I'm able to I'll get back to a few points individually.
Thanks all
What I will say is ask around
Mobile hairdressers are a good source as they are in/out of the different homes and will see the differing levels of care as an example
When my father died my mother went off the rails and then fell and broke her hip and gradually her dementia got worse
She came to live with us and gradually she became harder and harder to deal with/care for
We found that she became quite inward looking and isolated
We found a very good small care home and after a short period of adjustment she absolutely thrived there .. it was like she had a new lease of life
The peer company cannot be underestimated and I'd make sure that your father goes somewhere local to where he lived/grew up as the shared experiences and memories really helped my mum
Being around people who had gone to the same dance halls and worked in the same places all really helps
A good home is a good community
I felt really bad about moving my mum into one ..: but we couldn't cope with her anymore
After a while she said she loved it and my wider family were of the opinion that it was the best thing we could have done for her and that we'd done the best for her that we could
Good luck with whatever you decide to do
Mobile hairdressers are a good source as they are in/out of the different homes and will see the differing levels of care as an example
When my father died my mother went off the rails and then fell and broke her hip and gradually her dementia got worse
She came to live with us and gradually she became harder and harder to deal with/care for
We found that she became quite inward looking and isolated
We found a very good small care home and after a short period of adjustment she absolutely thrived there .. it was like she had a new lease of life
The peer company cannot be underestimated and I'd make sure that your father goes somewhere local to where he lived/grew up as the shared experiences and memories really helped my mum
Being around people who had gone to the same dance halls and worked in the same places all really helps
A good home is a good community
I felt really bad about moving my mum into one ..: but we couldn't cope with her anymore
After a while she said she loved it and my wider family were of the opinion that it was the best thing we could have done for her and that we'd done the best for her that we could
Good luck with whatever you decide to do
Some really good advice here. I've been on both ends of this, being a professional advising about treatment and care and as a relative with two elderly in laws going into and dying in care in the last two years.
Shooter McGavin's suggestions are excellent. I would reinforce the idea of going for dual registered place. Will be a lot easier if he subsequently needs to move to nursing. IME experience too, good homes can often be in grottier areas as staff don't have to commute as far and turnover is not as high. Homes in the leafy suburbs and rural areas can struggle for staff.
Whilst it's polite to call in advance, if you can avoid booking a precise for visits time that can help. Though inconvenient for staff, mealtimes can be a good time to call because you'll get an idea of how residents are treated and what they are being served.
I'm glad to see some positive experiences reported. I don't know whether our parents' generation were used to living more communally, in the factory, at the dance hall etc. but they seem to have a common social history that makes, at least the the more sociable elderly, well adapted to communal life. Good care homes can tap into and exploit this. Don't think our generation and those to follow will fare so well. Even coming into hospital following a terrible crisis, some of our patients settled really well. My mother in law had a terrible time in her last months at home - overwhelmed with anxiety; wandering; scratching and biting carers; not allowing herself to be washed and dressed etc.. Had a hospital admission after a fall and behaviour continued. Was discharged to an intermediate care bed for six week's assessment. I was fully expecting it to be a disaster but she settled really in well and transfer to care home was uneventful.
I wouldn't worry about not having LPA for health and welfare. It can't be used until the donee is incapable; the decision maker (usually a social worker) will have to take into account your dad's wishes and feelings and also yours. If everyone plays nicely together, there is no practical difference between a professional making the decision and an LPA as you are both obliged to act in the person's best interests. If push came to shove you could leverage the position of financial LPA to dig your heels in against a placement you didn't agree with. If it's your honestly held belief that a particular placement wasn't in his best interests then you could argue that it isn't in his interests to spend his money on it.
If you can involve him in the decision as far as possible, it will make it easier for you to get an impression of his feelings about any plans and the extent to which he truly understands his limitations, the risks, his needs and the consequences for him and those he cares for. In my experience patients with dementia lose their decision making capacity in respect to future care earlier in the process than others might acknowledge. Even if they acknowledge their limitations and the requirement for support, they may not be able to understand the impact of caring for them on close family, or weigh and judge this as they would have previously. Social workers can't act until someone has lost capacity but sometimes this can be a bit of an excuse for inaction on their part.
Shooter McGavin's suggestions are excellent. I would reinforce the idea of going for dual registered place. Will be a lot easier if he subsequently needs to move to nursing. IME experience too, good homes can often be in grottier areas as staff don't have to commute as far and turnover is not as high. Homes in the leafy suburbs and rural areas can struggle for staff.
Whilst it's polite to call in advance, if you can avoid booking a precise for visits time that can help. Though inconvenient for staff, mealtimes can be a good time to call because you'll get an idea of how residents are treated and what they are being served.
I'm glad to see some positive experiences reported. I don't know whether our parents' generation were used to living more communally, in the factory, at the dance hall etc. but they seem to have a common social history that makes, at least the the more sociable elderly, well adapted to communal life. Good care homes can tap into and exploit this. Don't think our generation and those to follow will fare so well. Even coming into hospital following a terrible crisis, some of our patients settled really well. My mother in law had a terrible time in her last months at home - overwhelmed with anxiety; wandering; scratching and biting carers; not allowing herself to be washed and dressed etc.. Had a hospital admission after a fall and behaviour continued. Was discharged to an intermediate care bed for six week's assessment. I was fully expecting it to be a disaster but she settled really in well and transfer to care home was uneventful.
I wouldn't worry about not having LPA for health and welfare. It can't be used until the donee is incapable; the decision maker (usually a social worker) will have to take into account your dad's wishes and feelings and also yours. If everyone plays nicely together, there is no practical difference between a professional making the decision and an LPA as you are both obliged to act in the person's best interests. If push came to shove you could leverage the position of financial LPA to dig your heels in against a placement you didn't agree with. If it's your honestly held belief that a particular placement wasn't in his best interests then you could argue that it isn't in his interests to spend his money on it.
If you can involve him in the decision as far as possible, it will make it easier for you to get an impression of his feelings about any plans and the extent to which he truly understands his limitations, the risks, his needs and the consequences for him and those he cares for. In my experience patients with dementia lose their decision making capacity in respect to future care earlier in the process than others might acknowledge. Even if they acknowledge their limitations and the requirement for support, they may not be able to understand the impact of caring for them on close family, or weigh and judge this as they would have previously. Social workers can't act until someone has lost capacity but sometimes this can be a bit of an excuse for inaction on their part.
oddman said:
I wouldn't worry about not having LPA for health and welfare. It can't be used until the donee is incapable..
Given the amount of time it can take for a LPA application to be processed and given Alzheimer's is already present I'd get it sorted forthwith. Further, it's extremely likely you will be asked to supply/apply when the parent moves into care. One less thing to do at a time that will be stressful enough already.popeyewhite said:
oddman said:
I wouldn't worry about not having LPA for health and welfare. It can't be used until the donee is incapable..
Given the amount of time it can take for a LPA application to be processed and given Alzheimer's is already present I'd get it sorted forthwith. Further, it's extremely likely you will be asked to supply/apply when the parent moves into care. One less thing to do at a time that will be stressful enough already.OP said:
We do have it, but only for financial affairs, he refused medical and we never pushed it, which I now regret.
Hence as my reassurrance that in circumstances where there is no LPA for H&W and professionals are decision makers, if they are following the law and code of practice appropriately there isn't that much difference between H&W LPA and no H&W LPA. In most circumstances the presence or otherwise of LPA for H&W doesn't change the way the decision is made, only the identity of the decision maker. In deciding what type of care is required ie. home care, residential or nursing, a family member acting as LPA for H&W would still require multidisciplinary advice (from Drs, OTs, nurses and SWs) to make an appropriate best interests decision, but the choice of which individual home is very much where the knowledge of close family members is more critical. A property and affairs LPA still gives leverage if there were to be a dispute about which care home.
On the finance side, my mother is in a dementia care home. The contract allows for an annual increase in fees of 5% or CPI, whichever is higher. They're using the exceptional increase clause and the recent NI increase to increase the fees by 8% from 1st Jan.
Fees in 2025 will be
Accommodation £5,150 per month
Care Fees £3,800 per month - this is the middle fee on a low/medium/high level of care needed scale.
She gets £1,022 a month from the local authority on a funded needs care basis to offset against the costs, nets out to £7,900 a month.
After her state, private and widow's pensions and attendance allowance is taken into account there is a shortfall of £5,800 a month. We've been funding it from the proceeds of her house sale up unitl now however I'm just about to pull the trigger on a care needs annuity for her. A one-off premium of £370,000 to L&G will result in them paying her £5,800 a month increasing by 5% per annum for the rest of her life.
She'll be 79 soon. If she lives beyond 84 then we'll have 'won', before then L&G 'win'. There is a steep sliding scale of partial premium refunds if she dies in the first six months.
Feels very dark to effectively be having a punt on how long she's going to live but it is what it is.
Fees in 2025 will be
Accommodation £5,150 per month
Care Fees £3,800 per month - this is the middle fee on a low/medium/high level of care needed scale.
She gets £1,022 a month from the local authority on a funded needs care basis to offset against the costs, nets out to £7,900 a month.
After her state, private and widow's pensions and attendance allowance is taken into account there is a shortfall of £5,800 a month. We've been funding it from the proceeds of her house sale up unitl now however I'm just about to pull the trigger on a care needs annuity for her. A one-off premium of £370,000 to L&G will result in them paying her £5,800 a month increasing by 5% per annum for the rest of her life.
She'll be 79 soon. If she lives beyond 84 then we'll have 'won', before then L&G 'win'. There is a steep sliding scale of partial premium refunds if she dies in the first six months.
Feels very dark to effectively be having a punt on how long she's going to live but it is what it is.
QuartzDad said:
On the finance side, my mother is in a dementia care home. The contract allows for an annual increase in fees of 5% or CPI, whichever is higher. They're using the exceptional increase clause and the recent NI increase to increase the fees by 8% from 1st Jan.
Fees in 2025 will be
Accommodation £5,150 per month
Care Fees £3,800 per month - this is the middle fee on a low/medium/high level of care needed scale.
She gets £1,022 a month from the local authority on a funded needs care basis to offset against the costs, nets out to £7,900 a month.
After her state, private and widow's pensions and attendance allowance is taken into account there is a shortfall of £5,800 a month. We've been funding it from the proceeds of her house sale up unitl now however I'm just about to pull the trigger on a care needs annuity for her. A one-off premium of £370,000 to L&G will result in them paying her £5,800 a month increasing by 5% per annum for the rest of her life.
She'll be 79 soon. If she lives beyond 84 then we'll have 'won', before then L&G 'win'. There is a steep sliding scale of partial premium refunds if she dies in the first six months.
Feels very dark to effectively be having a punt on how long she's going to live but it is what it is.
You know that it is very probable that the NHS should be picking up the whole tab here?Fees in 2025 will be
Accommodation £5,150 per month
Care Fees £3,800 per month - this is the middle fee on a low/medium/high level of care needed scale.
She gets £1,022 a month from the local authority on a funded needs care basis to offset against the costs, nets out to £7,900 a month.
After her state, private and widow's pensions and attendance allowance is taken into account there is a shortfall of £5,800 a month. We've been funding it from the proceeds of her house sale up unitl now however I'm just about to pull the trigger on a care needs annuity for her. A one-off premium of £370,000 to L&G will result in them paying her £5,800 a month increasing by 5% per annum for the rest of her life.
She'll be 79 soon. If she lives beyond 84 then we'll have 'won', before then L&G 'win'. There is a steep sliding scale of partial premium refunds if she dies in the first six months.
Feels very dark to effectively be having a punt on how long she's going to live but it is what it is.
Assuming she has nursing needs due to her dementia.
QuartzDad said:
On the finance side, my mother is in a dementia care home. The contract allows for an annual increase in fees of 5% or CPI, whichever is higher. They're using the exceptional increase clause and the recent NI increase to increase the fees by 8% from 1st Jan.
Fees in 2025 will be
Accommodation £5,150 per month
Care Fees £3,800 per month - this is the middle fee on a low/medium/high level of care needed scale.
She gets £1,022 a month from the local authority on a funded needs care basis to offset against the costs, nets out to £7,900 a month.
After her state, private and widow's pensions and attendance allowance is taken into account there is a shortfall of £5,800 a month. We've been funding it from the proceeds of her house sale up unitl now however I'm just about to pull the trigger on a care needs annuity for her. A one-off premium of £370,000 to L&G will result in them paying her £5,800 a month increasing by 5% per annum for the rest of her life.
She'll be 79 soon. If she lives beyond 84 then we'll have 'won', before then L&G 'win'. There is a steep sliding scale of partial premium refunds if she dies in the first six months.
Feels very dark to effectively be having a punt on how long she's going to live but it is what it is.
Sympathies for you and your Mum. Fees in 2025 will be
Accommodation £5,150 per month
Care Fees £3,800 per month - this is the middle fee on a low/medium/high level of care needed scale.
She gets £1,022 a month from the local authority on a funded needs care basis to offset against the costs, nets out to £7,900 a month.
After her state, private and widow's pensions and attendance allowance is taken into account there is a shortfall of £5,800 a month. We've been funding it from the proceeds of her house sale up unitl now however I'm just about to pull the trigger on a care needs annuity for her. A one-off premium of £370,000 to L&G will result in them paying her £5,800 a month increasing by 5% per annum for the rest of her life.
She'll be 79 soon. If she lives beyond 84 then we'll have 'won', before then L&G 'win'. There is a steep sliding scale of partial premium refunds if she dies in the first six months.
Feels very dark to effectively be having a punt on how long she's going to live but it is what it is.
I was LPA for a relative for whom I also had to buy an immediate needs annuity - slightly older than your Mum so a bit cheaper.
Within the “ win “ calculation was also the saving of IHT potentially but I wanted to guarantee to her that she would never have to worry about moving care homes or indeed not having the money to pay for one.
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