Relocate - cheat code for a better life?
Discussion
I'm absolutely sick of the standard/cost of living.
I work hard, earn around 60k, OH on 13k as we have a baby she's part time.
We live in a 'cheap' part of northants, our mortgage Is over a grand a month for a very bang average 3 bed semi, think more like 2 bed with a big cupboard!
This month alone since payday 2 days ago we've had our water bill put up, our heating has gone right up (although overpay all year to try to mitigate this), we've had our boiler serviced £100, we needed what I'd say is essential items from amazon totalling around £70 - think along the lines of insoles for old knackered trainers, toothbrush heads, fabric softned etc, secret santa gifts, tyre replacing due to pothole.
Hundreds of pounds before we're even a week in to the pay month.
Now, I don't mind spending money, it's fine, but I've worked very hard for a long time now to get in to a position where I thought I should be able to afford to start a family, I don't want to restrict heating that keeps us warm, push the car service a few months longer, constantly worry about the cost of basic living stuff when I've fought tooth and nail to earn double the national average wage.
Can't really downsize anything, as I say we have a modest house, 2 modest cars, it's the basic standard of living I see as acceptable otherwise, what's the point?
Where we live is okay but I'd rather not send my child to secondary school round here with the knife crime, horrible kids from horrible families in the catchment areas.
I guess this is a bit of a rant. What does it take to feel comfortable in the UK or reap the benefits of your hard work?
I know there are many people worse off and I am genuinely grateful for what we have, but I also feel like the reward does not match the effort put in any more and I've felt this way now for over ten years.
We've been going on cheap "staycations" in Wales for the last 5 years or so and have fallen in love with the place. It's so much less busy and you can actually walk around a supermarket and hear yourself think, walk around a town and get a coffee and it feels nicer some how.
Property is also very cheap for much of the country.
I'm very tempted to up sticks and go - my work is 3 long shifts per week, and 4 shifts for 3 months of the year. If I can't get work near the new place I'd buy a camper with the money saved from property and stay away for work 2 nights per week, 3 when it's busy, and have 4 days with the family surrounded by beautiful scenery and a slower pace of life with more disposable income to build proper safety nets and plan for the future.
Has anyone else been feeling the same way or is it just me? I'm not usually a Victor Meldrew type but my God life is testing me lately in more ways than one.
Also keen to hear from anyone else who's done something similar and if it worked out as you'd hoped.
I work hard, earn around 60k, OH on 13k as we have a baby she's part time.
We live in a 'cheap' part of northants, our mortgage Is over a grand a month for a very bang average 3 bed semi, think more like 2 bed with a big cupboard!
This month alone since payday 2 days ago we've had our water bill put up, our heating has gone right up (although overpay all year to try to mitigate this), we've had our boiler serviced £100, we needed what I'd say is essential items from amazon totalling around £70 - think along the lines of insoles for old knackered trainers, toothbrush heads, fabric softned etc, secret santa gifts, tyre replacing due to pothole.
Hundreds of pounds before we're even a week in to the pay month.
Now, I don't mind spending money, it's fine, but I've worked very hard for a long time now to get in to a position where I thought I should be able to afford to start a family, I don't want to restrict heating that keeps us warm, push the car service a few months longer, constantly worry about the cost of basic living stuff when I've fought tooth and nail to earn double the national average wage.
Can't really downsize anything, as I say we have a modest house, 2 modest cars, it's the basic standard of living I see as acceptable otherwise, what's the point?
Where we live is okay but I'd rather not send my child to secondary school round here with the knife crime, horrible kids from horrible families in the catchment areas.
I guess this is a bit of a rant. What does it take to feel comfortable in the UK or reap the benefits of your hard work?
I know there are many people worse off and I am genuinely grateful for what we have, but I also feel like the reward does not match the effort put in any more and I've felt this way now for over ten years.
We've been going on cheap "staycations" in Wales for the last 5 years or so and have fallen in love with the place. It's so much less busy and you can actually walk around a supermarket and hear yourself think, walk around a town and get a coffee and it feels nicer some how.
Property is also very cheap for much of the country.
I'm very tempted to up sticks and go - my work is 3 long shifts per week, and 4 shifts for 3 months of the year. If I can't get work near the new place I'd buy a camper with the money saved from property and stay away for work 2 nights per week, 3 when it's busy, and have 4 days with the family surrounded by beautiful scenery and a slower pace of life with more disposable income to build proper safety nets and plan for the future.
Has anyone else been feeling the same way or is it just me? I'm not usually a Victor Meldrew type but my God life is testing me lately in more ways than one.
Also keen to hear from anyone else who's done something similar and if it worked out as you'd hoped.
smifffymoto said:
Unfortunately,no matter where you live it’s expensive these days.
If you did move to Wales the savings in one area would be swallowed up by additional expenses from another.
I might feel better about having all my money rinsed every month though if we are in a nice area in a like for like house which is over £100k cheaper and better for the kids to grow up, Mrs wouldn't have to work etc. If you did move to Wales the savings in one area would be swallowed up by additional expenses from another.
But yes perhaps rose tinted specs need putting to one side, nothing is ever that simple I suppose!
Clappedoutvolvo said:
What does it take to feel comfortable in the UK or reap the benefits of your hard work?
Sorry, the only thing I can think of is that maybe you need to take a closer look at your budgeting.At a rough guess you've got £4,500 coming into the house every month. Youve mentioned mortgage at £1k Ill take a guess at the others
Council tax £300
Heating £300
Water £150
Cars £600
Food £500
TV £100
Mobile phones £50
Holidays £500
Where's the rest of your money going?
Countdown said:
Sorry, the only thing I can think of is that maybe you need to take a closer look at your budgeting.
At a rough guess you've got £4,500 coming into the house every month. Youve mentioned mortgage at £1k Ill take a guess at the others
Council tax £300
Heating £300
Water £150
Cars £600
Food £500
TV £100
Mobile phones £50
Holidays £500
Where's the rest of your money going?
I didn't say I don't have any money, my point is, I'd like to feel more comfortable and I don't feel like I am even given the money we have coming in. I'm sure everyone's idea of comfortable is different but this isn't mine. At a rough guess you've got £4,500 coming into the house every month. Youve mentioned mortgage at £1k Ill take a guess at the others
Council tax £300
Heating £300
Water £150
Cars £600
Food £500
TV £100
Mobile phones £50
Holidays £500
Where's the rest of your money going?
One problem is that especially since covid, housing for the average family with average needs tends to quickly find it's market price. If one area is cheap, it's typically for a reason. areas that are in practice good, are expensive.
Another problem is wealth has low taxes in the UK and income has high taxes. So if you are relying on income over wealth for your living expenses you are already fighting against the tide , especially in rural areas full of retirees
Rural houses in pretty areas are expensive these days. thanks to airbnb.
Living overseas is an option, but unless you have ready made roots in the area, the switch is far from 'free' in an emotional sense.
Another problem is wealth has low taxes in the UK and income has high taxes. So if you are relying on income over wealth for your living expenses you are already fighting against the tide , especially in rural areas full of retirees
Rural houses in pretty areas are expensive these days. thanks to airbnb.
Living overseas is an option, but unless you have ready made roots in the area, the switch is far from 'free' in an emotional sense.
As someone who's moved well over 20 times in my life and lived in South West Wales for 4 years, I'd suggest it is not the cure all that it may seem.
Friends and family are quite important during life and moving away from them, especially for the major baby carer can be very stressful.
It is also extremely difficult to move back from a cheap area to a more expensive one. For us it was extremely tough financially for a few years.
Whilst areas of Wales are beautiful it must be recognised that Wales is quite poverty stricken and job possibilities limited.
If anything from where the OP is currently located I would try and get a job more London Centric with increased income to suit and cope with the commute for a while.
As an aside buying and renovating one's home property is a tax free way of earning money and flip every 2-4 years.
I forgot to add holidaying somewhere is not remotely similar to living there full time including the depths of winter. I was born in the West Country by the coast but would never have considered staying there to work. I haven't even retired there.
At some point your child or maybe even children will need schooling so finding a property near a good school is not easy.
Friends and family are quite important during life and moving away from them, especially for the major baby carer can be very stressful.
It is also extremely difficult to move back from a cheap area to a more expensive one. For us it was extremely tough financially for a few years.
Whilst areas of Wales are beautiful it must be recognised that Wales is quite poverty stricken and job possibilities limited.
If anything from where the OP is currently located I would try and get a job more London Centric with increased income to suit and cope with the commute for a while.
As an aside buying and renovating one's home property is a tax free way of earning money and flip every 2-4 years.
I forgot to add holidaying somewhere is not remotely similar to living there full time including the depths of winter. I was born in the West Country by the coast but would never have considered staying there to work. I haven't even retired there.
At some point your child or maybe even children will need schooling so finding a property near a good school is not easy.
Edited by Nomme de Plum on Thursday 28th November 12:56
Clappedoutvolvo said:
I didn't say I don't have any money, my point is, I'd like to feel more comfortable and I don't feel like I am even given the money we have coming in. I'm sure everyone's idea of comfortable is different but this isn't mine.
Ok. I don't know how old you are but in my experience it takes time to build up "equity" and reap the rewards of your earnings, especially when you have a young family. Kids take a huge amount of money/time as does paying off the mortgage. One of the things that me and Mrs C did was to run older Japanese cars saving on depreciation and maintenance costs. IME once you've built up some savings you can move into a bigger house, better area, nicer schools, nicer holidays and so on.Between the 2 of you you're bringing over 2 average salaries per month, you live in an average house in an average area. For you to be happy then something needs to change, that change might just need to be your expectations. Maybe start from a point of feeling happy that you're actually in a comfortable position with a young family.
- The word average could be changed for normal.
It will really depend on where in Wales you would end up. Its lovely for a holiday or short break. But Wales can become very remote quite quickly.
I moved from the Hampshire Surrey border, to the north Wales border 12 years ago, I still live in England Just. But some things will be very different, yes there is less population so things like supermarket shopping is bit more pleasant, but unless you live near a town with a decent population the supermarket will feel more like a corner shop. You may also end up with a 20 mile round trip to that shop.
Being on holiday in the middle of Wales, and finding you need to pop out for a pint of milk of a warm sunny evening in August will be a lovely drive through some lovely countryside to the shop. In January this will be a very different prospect.
I am not sure quite how to say this, or even if it's just my feelings about Wales in general. Wales is a lovely place with stunning countryside, but the Welsh do not make the best of it. If you go to the lake district you will always find somewhere nice to eat or stay, In wales it can really be very difficult to even get a decent cup of coffee at many places. Llanberis being a prime example it has one of the biggest attractions in the UK, millions of visitors, yet pop into town to buy lunch somewhere and its nearly impossible, to get anything decent.
I love Wales and spend a lot of my time in Wales, and have found the nice places to be. So those comments about Wales don't put me off but do make me wonder sometimes.
Things you will find very different are
The sheer distance between stuff
The distance you will have to drive to find a decent shopping center, and how ever much you say I can just order it and get it delivered, sometimes you really do just want to see or feel something before buying it. If you have a 40 mile drive to that shop it can take up a lot of time.
The size of the shops and what they can stock will be very different.
If you live in the country without mains gas and sewage, you will find the cost of heating being more expensive, if you don't manage your sewage correctly you will have added costs there as well.
The lack of population will mean there will be less facilities, it may be 50 miles to a hospital for example, every aspect of living in the country will involve more travelling, unless you live in a town, but that will mean you just have the same issues you have now, less people maybe but they will be crammed into smaller spaces.
If it was me and as I said it once was, I would do it in a shot, and really wish I had done it years before I did.
But really make sure you know and understand, being on holiday is a very different prospect to living somewhere. If you are doing it to save money it's not going to save you anything, if you are doing it to live somewhere less populated then it will work, but if you have to go back and stay where you work 2 or 3 nights a week that is going to take a toll on family life, and add to costs.
Where about's in Wales are you thinking of ending up?
I moved from the Hampshire Surrey border, to the north Wales border 12 years ago, I still live in England Just. But some things will be very different, yes there is less population so things like supermarket shopping is bit more pleasant, but unless you live near a town with a decent population the supermarket will feel more like a corner shop. You may also end up with a 20 mile round trip to that shop.
Being on holiday in the middle of Wales, and finding you need to pop out for a pint of milk of a warm sunny evening in August will be a lovely drive through some lovely countryside to the shop. In January this will be a very different prospect.
I am not sure quite how to say this, or even if it's just my feelings about Wales in general. Wales is a lovely place with stunning countryside, but the Welsh do not make the best of it. If you go to the lake district you will always find somewhere nice to eat or stay, In wales it can really be very difficult to even get a decent cup of coffee at many places. Llanberis being a prime example it has one of the biggest attractions in the UK, millions of visitors, yet pop into town to buy lunch somewhere and its nearly impossible, to get anything decent.
I love Wales and spend a lot of my time in Wales, and have found the nice places to be. So those comments about Wales don't put me off but do make me wonder sometimes.
Things you will find very different are
The sheer distance between stuff
The distance you will have to drive to find a decent shopping center, and how ever much you say I can just order it and get it delivered, sometimes you really do just want to see or feel something before buying it. If you have a 40 mile drive to that shop it can take up a lot of time.
The size of the shops and what they can stock will be very different.
If you live in the country without mains gas and sewage, you will find the cost of heating being more expensive, if you don't manage your sewage correctly you will have added costs there as well.
The lack of population will mean there will be less facilities, it may be 50 miles to a hospital for example, every aspect of living in the country will involve more travelling, unless you live in a town, but that will mean you just have the same issues you have now, less people maybe but they will be crammed into smaller spaces.
If it was me and as I said it once was, I would do it in a shot, and really wish I had done it years before I did.
But really make sure you know and understand, being on holiday is a very different prospect to living somewhere. If you are doing it to save money it's not going to save you anything, if you are doing it to live somewhere less populated then it will work, but if you have to go back and stay where you work 2 or 3 nights a week that is going to take a toll on family life, and add to costs.
Where about's in Wales are you thinking of ending up?
lizardbrain said:
One problem is that especially since covid, housing for the average family with average needs tends to quickly find it's market price. If one area is cheap, it's typically for a reason. areas that are in practice good, are expensive.
Another problem is wealth has low taxes in the UK and income has high taxes. So if you are relying on income over wealth for your living expenses you are already fighting against the tide , especially in rural areas full of retirees
Rural houses in pretty areas are expensive these days. thanks to airbnb.
Living overseas is an option, but unless you have ready made roots in the area, the switch is far from 'free' in an emotional sense.
I'd go abroad in a shot, but my OH isn't up for it sadly Another problem is wealth has low taxes in the UK and income has high taxes. So if you are relying on income over wealth for your living expenses you are already fighting against the tide , especially in rural areas full of retirees
Rural houses in pretty areas are expensive these days. thanks to airbnb.
Living overseas is an option, but unless you have ready made roots in the area, the switch is far from 'free' in an emotional sense.
Nomme de Plum said:
As someone who's moved well over 20 times in my life and lived in South West Wales for 4 years, I'd suggest it is not the cure all that it may seem.
Friends and family are quite important during life and moving away from them, especially for the major baby carer can be very stressful.
It is also extremely difficult to move back from a cheap area to a more expensive one. For us it was extremely tough financially for a few years.
Whilst areas of Wales are beautiful it must be recognised that Wales is quite poverty stricken and job possibilities limited.
If anything from where the OP is currently located I would try and get a job more London Centric with increased income to suit and cope with the commute for a while.
As an aside buying and renovating one's home property is a tax free way of earning money and flip every 2-4 years.
I forgot to add holidaying somewhere is not remotely similar to living there full time including the depths of winter. I was born in the West Country by the coast but would never have considered staying there to work. I haven't even retired there.
At some point your child or maybe even children will need schooling so finding a property near a good school is not easy.
All valid points, thank you Friends and family are quite important during life and moving away from them, especially for the major baby carer can be very stressful.
It is also extremely difficult to move back from a cheap area to a more expensive one. For us it was extremely tough financially for a few years.
Whilst areas of Wales are beautiful it must be recognised that Wales is quite poverty stricken and job possibilities limited.
If anything from where the OP is currently located I would try and get a job more London Centric with increased income to suit and cope with the commute for a while.
As an aside buying and renovating one's home property is a tax free way of earning money and flip every 2-4 years.
I forgot to add holidaying somewhere is not remotely similar to living there full time including the depths of winter. I was born in the West Country by the coast but would never have considered staying there to work. I haven't even retired there.
At some point your child or maybe even children will need schooling so finding a property near a good school is not easy.
Edited by Nomme de Plum on Thursday 28th November 12:56
Agree that moving back to a more expensive area is tricky. I left Hampshire when I was 18 and now likely could not afford to go back.
Maybe a fixer upper in a village location near where we are now could be a compromise if we don't make the big jump, try and get ahead a bit that way.
Countdown said:
Ok. I don't know how old you are but in my experience it takes time to build up "equity" and reap the rewards of your earnings, especially when you have a young family. Kids take a huge amount of money/time as does paying off the mortgage. One of the things that me and Mrs C did was to run older Japanese cars saving on depreciation and maintenance costs. IME once you've built up some savings you can move into a bigger house, better area, nicer schools, nicer holidays and so on.
You're right and perhaps I am being impatient, I just wonder how much one realistically needs to be earning to feel comfortably off. I know it doesn't go as far as it used to but you'd think we would feel slightly more than treading water! For example, in the next year or two we will need the path re doing out the front, it's quite a long path, currently block paved. To get this redone professionally will cost a fortune. To do it myself will likely look crap. We also need to get two dormers re-felted, plus the garage roof. Could do with a new garage door.
General upkeep when you own a home and we were fairly careful to buy one needing minimal work. Just these costs alone are almost completely unaffordable for us and we will really struggle to save for them.
We would also like to save for a modest wedding, again, very difficult. If we have another child we will likely need to extend or buy a bigger home.
All of these things aren't just an "us" problem, I know we are not alone. I'm just getting tired of it always being a struggle. Having a normal home with a child or two shouldn't be such a luxury that you need to earn a hundred grand a year for to be comfortable.
I'm sure it does get easier as time goes on, let's bloody hope so.
Edited by Clappedoutvolvo on Thursday 28th November 13:56
Jimjimhim said:
Between the 2 of you you're bringing over 2 average salaries per month, you live in an average house in an average area. For you to be happy then something needs to change, that change might just need to be your expectations. Maybe start from a point of feeling happy that you're actually in a comfortable position with a young family.
I don't want to come across ungrateful. Growing up we struggled for money and things were hard - I've done everything I can to try and ensure it's not like that now I'm older but I suppose I'd imagined it would be easier than this. - The word average could be changed for normal.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff