Auntie Rich's Agony Aunt column...

[shadytree]

Got any personal problems? No luck in the relationship stakes? Spend to much time on PH?

Post your questions here and PH's resident Agony Aunt Rich1231 will listen and help with a sensative and sympathetic ear.

Over to you Rich :D

[ShanksPony]

Rich1231

My wife likes sex up the back passage and I am not keen.


Mainly because it is shared with the neighbours and I am worried that they will see us when they empty their bins.

[vixpy1]

Dear Rich,

my Penis is over 18 inches long, this causes problems because when i meet a nice girl and dance close to her, i faint.

Please help,

Rock Hard of surrey

[ShanksPony]

vixpy1 said:

Dear Rich, my Penis is only 1.8 inches long, this causes problems because when i meet a nice girl and dance close to her, they faint with laughter. Please help, Rock Hard of surrey

[rich1231]

ShanksPony said:

Rich1231 My wife likes sex up the back passage and I am not keen. Mainly because it is shared with the neighbours and I am worried that they will see us when they empty their bins.

Shanks, this is a hard one.

I understand your reservations, but you must oblige your wife... Sex in back passages is addictive and soon if you dont service the lady in that location, she will be pestering the neighbours to be serviced.

Or if your still not keen, I know of a particularly good stand in that will oblige.. see the advert at the top of the column.

[Einion Yrth]

vixpy1 said:

Dear Rich, my Penis is over 18 inches long, with the thickness of linguini

[shadytree]

Einion Yrth said:

vixpy1 said: Dear Rich, my Penis is over 18 inches long, with the thickness of linguini

[vixpy1]

Einion Yrth said:

vixpy1 said: Dear Rich, my Penis is over 18 inches long, with the thickness of linguini

So lick the pasta sauce off it..... bitch!

[rich1231]

vixpy1 said:

Dear Rich, my Penis is over 18 inches long, this causes problems because when i meet a nice girl and dance close to her, i faint. Please help, Rock Hard of surrey

Dear Vixpy,

I have empathy for you in this terrible situation..

There are many out there whom suffer from such severe astigmatisms that shape and size are exagerated.

I can only confirm from banging all your ex'es that indeed you are gifted in the trouser department (the colour range is magnificent), its just the item your trousers conceal is a tiny disapointment.

[406]

vixpy1 said:

Dear Rich, My Penis is over 18 inches long, this causes problems because when i meet a nice girl and dance close to her, i faint. And another thing, I cant take her up the OXO Tower as I am afraid of the consequences. Please help, Rock Hard of Surrey

[JonRB]

Dear Rich

People are starting to accuse me of perpetrating clichés on PistonHeads.

Am I a


Regards
Jon

[vixpy1]

JonRB said:

Am I a

Yes, next question.

[seasider]

Dear Rich,

I have friend who has a friend that has Black AMV8. My friend has ordered a Silver one and is worried he wont attract as much female attention as guy with the Black one…

How can I explain to him that it's probably more to do with his lack of hair & personality?

[Big_M]

seasider said:

Dear Rich, I have friend who has a friend that has Black AMV8. My friend has ordered a Silver one and is worried he wont attract as much female attention as guy with the Black one… How can I explain to him that it's probably more to do with his lack of hair & personality?

Phone up the dealer and get a red interior put into the Black AMV8 - everyone will then think he is a Pimp and the guy with the Silver one will be the centre of attention.

[rich1231]

Big_M said:

seasider said: Dear Rich, I have friend who has a friend that has Black AMV8. My friend has ordered a Silver one and is worried he wont attract as much female attention as guy with the Black one… How can I explain to him that it's probably more to do with his lack of hair & personality? Phone up the dealer and get a red interior put into the Black AMV8 - everyone will then think he is a Pimp and the guy with the Silver one will be the centre of attention.

sh1 already done that

[Harry Flashman]

Dear Rich,

I think I love you, but my mum says it's wrong to feel this way about animals. Or to feel animals at all. What should I do?

Cheers,

Harry.

[silversun]

Dear Rich

I have a silver mobile phone and everyone says it's gay. Please put my mind at rest as I can't sleep for worrying about it!

Silversun

[Big_M]

silversun said:

Dear Rich I have a silver mobile phone and everyone says it's gay. Please put my mind at rest as I can't sleep for worrying about it! Silversun

Just put it on vibrate and shove it up your ass.

Come on Rich - have I got to do your job for you now

[cotty]

vixpy1 said:

Dear Rich, my Penis is over 18 inches long, this causes problems because when i meet a nice girl and dance close to her, i faint. Please help, Rock Hard of surrey

First things first, get your self booked in for an eye test or a new ruler

[cotty]

Big_M said:

silversun said: Dear Rich I have a silver mobile phone and everyone says it's gay. Please put my mind at rest as I can't sleep for worrying about it! Silversun Just put it on vibrate and shove it up your ass.

Hows your ring Tony