Did this really happen
Discussion
A small kid about 5 years old was always embarrasing his mother by talking loudly about people in crowded places, saying thing like "That mans very fat mummy".
Mum decides to try to put a stop to this by tell her son that in future if he has anything like that to say then he must wait until they get home and they can talk about it then.
A few days later they are on a bus, sat at the back on the seats that face each other.
An old lady gets on and she has the biggest nose in the world.
The kid looks at the old lady then looks up to his mum, mum is looking at little Jimmy (I don`t know if thats his name but what the hell)with a stern look on her face as if to say "don`t you dare".
He thinks for a few seconds and then says.
"Mummy when we get home can we talk about that ladies big nose"
Mum decides to try to put a stop to this by tell her son that in future if he has anything like that to say then he must wait until they get home and they can talk about it then.
A few days later they are on a bus, sat at the back on the seats that face each other.
An old lady gets on and she has the biggest nose in the world.
The kid looks at the old lady then looks up to his mum, mum is looking at little Jimmy (I don`t know if thats his name but what the hell)with a stern look on her face as if to say "don`t you dare".
He thinks for a few seconds and then says.
"Mummy when we get home can we talk about that ladies big nose"
Was queueing in a very crowded chippy a few years ago (Regs in Shenley Church End MK - Best Fish & Chips EVER!!) with my mate and his 4 year old, only for him to tug on his Dads shirt point at the extremely rotund gentleman in front of us and point and shout at the top of his voice "Daddy, Daddy Whos Fat??"
Poor chap could have keeled over with embarresment as the whole queue p1ssed themselves laughing.
Poor chap could have keeled over with embarresment as the whole queue p1ssed themselves laughing.
zippee said:
Was queueing in a very crowded chippy a few years ago (Regs in Shenley Church End MK - Best Fish & Chips EVER!!) with my mate and his 4 year old, only for him to tug on his Dads shirt point at the extremely rotund gentleman in front of us and point and shout at the top of his voice "Daddy, Daddy Whos Fat??"
Poor chap could have keeled over with embarresment as the whole queue p1ssed themselves laughing.
I know Reg's! just up the road from me and indeed the best fish and chips around. I went out with one of his daughters for 2 years too (She passed away shortly after
)My brother and his little 2.5 year old son were in a local sports shop in the town where he lives on saturday during the Le Mans weekend in June. When the little one saw the Eurosport transmission on TV in the shop he went balistic. He started running around the shop and screamed "Audi, Audi, Audi..." off the top of his lung. Other people's reaction were a mix of embarassement, disbelieve and fright... my brother nearly pissed himself.
>> Edited by Hansgerd on Thursday 1st September 14:09
>> Edited by Hansgerd on Thursday 1st September 14:09
jasandjules said:
In a supermarket, he would say loudly, as kids do, mummy, that lady is going to have a baby (pointing to the fat woman).
Don;t know about kids doing this as ours not old enough to talk yet.
However when my wife was expecting our daughter we were shopping in Ashford and bumped into a large ex-colleague of mine who asked my wife when the baby was due etc. My wife then asks her when hers is due to get the reply "Its not, I am fat!"
What makes it worse is that my wife is a midwife and you'd expect her to know the difference between a pregnant and a fat lady!
A tale my mother always loves to relate about me as a child...
I was about 3ish got in a lift with my mum and dad and a black couple got in with a small baby in a pushchair.
Cue me jumping up and down pleading "A gollywog, a gollywog, I want one, can I have one".
As you can imaging my mum and dad died of embarrasement all the way to their floor whilst profusely apologising.
Ahhh Robinsons Jam had a lot to answer for.
I was about 3ish got in a lift with my mum and dad and a black couple got in with a small baby in a pushchair.
Cue me jumping up and down pleading "A gollywog, a gollywog, I want one, can I have one".
As you can imaging my mum and dad died of embarrasement all the way to their floor whilst profusely apologising.
Ahhh Robinsons Jam had a lot to answer for.
My mates little lad was sitting on my sofa pretending to drive with an old MOMO wheel I had lying around, busily makeing brum brum noises. Then he winds down the window and shouts "Wanker" at the top of his voice and does coffe beans. My mates wife looks at her husband and he slowly blushes and says "well you forget they are there." 
A friend's daughter was about 4 years old, and answered the phone to my husband Paul. She shouted to her mum that Paul was on the phone, and having a couple of friends called Paul, mum called back 'Which one?' 'Oh you know, mum, Paul with no hair!'
Her mum was mortified, but fortunately Paul is not sensitive about his hair! He's been generally referred to as 'Paul With No Hair' since then.
Her mum was mortified, but fortunately Paul is not sensitive about his hair! He's been generally referred to as 'Paul With No Hair' since then.
nonegreen said:
My mates little lad was sitting on my sofa pretending to drive with an old MOMO wheel I had lying around, busily makeing brum brum noises. Then he winds down the window and shouts "Wanker" at the top of his voice and does coffe beans. My mates wife looks at her husband and he slowly blushes and says "well you forget they are there."
That is classic, tears in the eye time here
A few years ago, when my niece was about 5 or 6, we took her to a Macdonalds, We were sitting down munching away, and a large group of guys walked in, one of which was a little on the large side. My niece spotted him straight away and shouted at the top of her lungs 'FAT MAN', whilst pointing to him! 
Luckily, they took no notice, as I seen my whole life pass before my eyes! lol
Luckily, they took no notice, as I seen my whole life pass before my eyes! lolI only met a mate of mine's daughter twice, the first time was a fancy dress party when I went as Lara Croft, the second time at a "Who done-it" evening when I was given the spanish lady character and hence dressed in costume. Sometime later my mate asked his daughter if she remembered me, her answer was "Yes daddy, he's the man who dresses in women's clothes". My mates taunted me with that for ages
bitch you've ruined my life" Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff