S**tbox Renault Clio: An honest review
Discussion
Reecepool53 said:
Hello I wasn't really trying to brag more just make a mockery article of myself and how crap my car was but okay.
That’s much better than my first car. I also had a 1.4 16v Clio of similar age to yours. I thought that was the next best thing to a clio williams. Loved it.
Good luck on your journey! I had a pug 106 for my first car. First accidental lift off oversteer moment taught me two things. 1st it's not as easy to control as the playstation and 2nd i scream like a girl when I think I'm going to crash and die....
Only thing I don't get is the fascination with calling your car a s
tbox like it's become some cool trendy thing to say. It's like you've got to put it down before someone else does and makes it sound like your ungrateful don't care about it.
My first car was a absolute state and in everyone else's eyes it was fit for scrap but that was my independence, I was out doing something to it every night almost to keep it going as I knew if that broke that's it no replacement from mummy and daddy I was back on the bus
Only thing I don't get is the fascination with calling your car a s
tbox like it's become some cool trendy thing to say. It's like you've got to put it down before someone else does and makes it sound like your ungrateful don't care about it. My first car was a absolute state and in everyone else's eyes it was fit for scrap but that was my independence, I was out doing something to it every night almost to keep it going as I knew if that broke that's it no replacement from mummy and daddy I was back on the bus
I'd be careful doing 105 so soon after passing your test. Yeah, sure, we've all been there. Mine was 18 months after passing my test, Saxo VTR, pulled over on the A46 doing 108. I was lucky, with a 5 week ban. In you instance I'd imagine they'd opt to give you 6 points, yep, that'd be you having to re-take your test.
That aside, worse first cars to have, I had a 172 Cup of this shape for 4 years, a great car.
That aside, worse first cars to have, I had a 172 Cup of this shape for 4 years, a great car.
I'm posting from my phone which makes linking to different threads a bit tricky, could someone post a link to the 'Show us your crash pictures' thread as a wake up call to the OP?
Not a dig at the OP, we did stuff we're not so proud of looking back with the wisdom of age but the probability of kill for hitting a a tree is invariably 1.0 and it won't be the tree that dies...
Not a dig at the OP, we did stuff we're not so proud of looking back with the wisdom of age but the probability of kill for hitting a a tree is invariably 1.0 and it won't be the tree that dies...
Reecepool53 said:
Hi, I'm 17 and I've had my Renault Clio 1.2 for nearly 5 months now.
Putting your foot down in a 1.2 Renault Clio is like betting on a race horse with dwarfism. There is no rationale at all. Yet for some reason, despite your horse falling over the first hay bell and dying, the thrill is encapsulating. Perhaps it's your first bet. For me the Renault Clio 1.2 was my gateway drug, or as others put it, my first car. My first time driving on my own was a lot like the first time you have sex. You aren't quite sure what to do really, so you just go faster. If it's anything like most people's first time she will probably pretend to have an orgasm to make you feel better. Much like the Renault Clio fakes being a reliable car so when you're 3 hours from home and the ignition cuts out you can safely deem yourself totally screwed. But who cares right... because my car came with a Renault Elf racing sticker on the back and I bet your Ferrari 458 doesn't have that does it?
So anyway, it's 9.30pm on a Sunday night, the same day I passed my test and I've told my mum I'm going for a light spin round town. I'm currently doing 105mph down the A414. I'm behind an E46 318i that I've met along the way, and it has an exhaust loud enough for the car to identify itself as a Glastonbury speaker, and yet I'm somehow keeping up. In my head I tell myself that this is because my Renault Clio is extremely fast, and that the old lady who owned it before had secretly stuck a turbo her car without telling anyone.....but who am I really fooling? The 'sound' of the turbo I thought I heard was actually just the sweet sound of 17 years of clogged leaves in an air filter. And I wasn't really keeping up with the BMW either, he was just minding his own business while in the meantime I had implemented the shaking of my head forwards and backwards to 'speed the car up'. We've all done it let's be honest. At 105mph, this tiny little Renault vibrated more than Apollo 13 re-entering the stratosphere. At the point at which I thought it was going to shake itself into an alternate dimension I started to slow down. Almost an entire tank of petrol later, a 'swift' 15 minute journey turned into a 3 hour joyride around Hertfordshire. Explaining that to my mum was nearly as hard as explaining how a video had surfaced on her Facebook of me doing doughnuts around McDonald's carpark. If anyone is wondering how you do doughnuts in a FWD car by the way, you grab two McDonald's trays and lock them below your rear wheels with your handbrake. The lack of rear grip will then send your car into a drift. Doing doughnuts in a Renault Clio is like going to a prostitute for a hug, or similarly going to McDonald's for a salad. You don't tend to do it really.
I've now had my Clio for 4 months now and 60 handbrake turns, 40 clutch dump burnouts, 20 oh sh*t moments, 4 flat tyres (yes actually 4), and 1 accidental mega Sebastian Loeb drift in the rain later, it's safe to say I have made the most of my car. The Clio has an abundance of personality, and I must admit it must think it is in a Ken Block Gymkhana video, because at every apparent chance it will oversteer into a powerslide. One may think to themselves "well this sounds like a cheeky little car to drive". F*** NO. This tiny little French car has a conscious vengeance as I found out in March when the Clio decided it wanted to drift around Park Street Roundabout, leaving me to decide whether we end up in that tree opposite or get home. My days of Gran Turismo taught me one thing. If you're in a drift with a FWD car just stick your foot to the floor. I must admit I had never felt more alive. I managed to catch the slide, despite it feeling like it went on for 30 seconds. I drove home in silence at 25mph all the way back, and changed my underpants as soon as I got home.
To conclude, I do love my little Clio. I encourage fellow younger readers who are getting their first car to buy something older and slightly more playful, as these cars have soul. They give feedback, they bite and they will tell you when they are at their limit. Yes, a new Volkswagen Polo or a new Ford Fiesta might make you look every so slightly cooler, yes you might get apple play instead of Static radio noise 24/7, yes your car might not have a 2 foot long scratch down the side of it, yes the passenger seat might not queef as you go over speed bumps, yes your car might not enter a death powerslide in the rain, and yes you might not have to bribe the local MOT company to pass your car, but at the end of the day, the 'newer' first cars have less personality than a brick wall. And at this age, any car you can get insured on is just as sh*t as each other let's be honest. So go buy an older Clio, an older Citroen Saxo, or a K11 Micra because you genuinely won't regret it. And if you end up wrapping it around a lamppost, or when a 'tree drives into your car', you'll only be £1k short not £5k!!
This isn't going to go the way you hoped.Putting your foot down in a 1.2 Renault Clio is like betting on a race horse with dwarfism. There is no rationale at all. Yet for some reason, despite your horse falling over the first hay bell and dying, the thrill is encapsulating. Perhaps it's your first bet. For me the Renault Clio 1.2 was my gateway drug, or as others put it, my first car. My first time driving on my own was a lot like the first time you have sex. You aren't quite sure what to do really, so you just go faster. If it's anything like most people's first time she will probably pretend to have an orgasm to make you feel better. Much like the Renault Clio fakes being a reliable car so when you're 3 hours from home and the ignition cuts out you can safely deem yourself totally screwed. But who cares right... because my car came with a Renault Elf racing sticker on the back and I bet your Ferrari 458 doesn't have that does it?
So anyway, it's 9.30pm on a Sunday night, the same day I passed my test and I've told my mum I'm going for a light spin round town. I'm currently doing 105mph down the A414. I'm behind an E46 318i that I've met along the way, and it has an exhaust loud enough for the car to identify itself as a Glastonbury speaker, and yet I'm somehow keeping up. In my head I tell myself that this is because my Renault Clio is extremely fast, and that the old lady who owned it before had secretly stuck a turbo her car without telling anyone.....but who am I really fooling? The 'sound' of the turbo I thought I heard was actually just the sweet sound of 17 years of clogged leaves in an air filter. And I wasn't really keeping up with the BMW either, he was just minding his own business while in the meantime I had implemented the shaking of my head forwards and backwards to 'speed the car up'. We've all done it let's be honest. At 105mph, this tiny little Renault vibrated more than Apollo 13 re-entering the stratosphere. At the point at which I thought it was going to shake itself into an alternate dimension I started to slow down. Almost an entire tank of petrol later, a 'swift' 15 minute journey turned into a 3 hour joyride around Hertfordshire. Explaining that to my mum was nearly as hard as explaining how a video had surfaced on her Facebook of me doing doughnuts around McDonald's carpark. If anyone is wondering how you do doughnuts in a FWD car by the way, you grab two McDonald's trays and lock them below your rear wheels with your handbrake. The lack of rear grip will then send your car into a drift. Doing doughnuts in a Renault Clio is like going to a prostitute for a hug, or similarly going to McDonald's for a salad. You don't tend to do it really.
I've now had my Clio for 4 months now and 60 handbrake turns, 40 clutch dump burnouts, 20 oh sh*t moments, 4 flat tyres (yes actually 4), and 1 accidental mega Sebastian Loeb drift in the rain later, it's safe to say I have made the most of my car. The Clio has an abundance of personality, and I must admit it must think it is in a Ken Block Gymkhana video, because at every apparent chance it will oversteer into a powerslide. One may think to themselves "well this sounds like a cheeky little car to drive". F*** NO. This tiny little French car has a conscious vengeance as I found out in March when the Clio decided it wanted to drift around Park Street Roundabout, leaving me to decide whether we end up in that tree opposite or get home. My days of Gran Turismo taught me one thing. If you're in a drift with a FWD car just stick your foot to the floor. I must admit I had never felt more alive. I managed to catch the slide, despite it feeling like it went on for 30 seconds. I drove home in silence at 25mph all the way back, and changed my underpants as soon as I got home.
To conclude, I do love my little Clio. I encourage fellow younger readers who are getting their first car to buy something older and slightly more playful, as these cars have soul. They give feedback, they bite and they will tell you when they are at their limit. Yes, a new Volkswagen Polo or a new Ford Fiesta might make you look every so slightly cooler, yes you might get apple play instead of Static radio noise 24/7, yes your car might not have a 2 foot long scratch down the side of it, yes the passenger seat might not queef as you go over speed bumps, yes your car might not enter a death powerslide in the rain, and yes you might not have to bribe the local MOT company to pass your car, but at the end of the day, the 'newer' first cars have less personality than a brick wall. And at this age, any car you can get insured on is just as sh*t as each other let's be honest. So go buy an older Clio, an older Citroen Saxo, or a K11 Micra because you genuinely won't regret it. And if you end up wrapping it around a lamppost, or when a 'tree drives into your car', you'll only be £1k short not £5k!!
Edited by Reecepool53 on Tuesday 2nd May 15:53
Nothing wrong with exuberance in its place OP, HOWEVER it sounds like you’ve got away with some silly things up to now.
What you need to remember is that any risky moves need to be calculated. Give yourself the chance to learn how to calculate the risks before just going crazy. Take your time and build up the knowledge slowly.
If you don’t understand how it all works and how badly it could turn out, you’re playing roulette with your life and anyone else who’s unfortunate enough to be around you when the inevitable lesson is learned.
Good luck and enjoy your car.
What you need to remember is that any risky moves need to be calculated. Give yourself the chance to learn how to calculate the risks before just going crazy. Take your time and build up the knowledge slowly.
If you don’t understand how it all works and how badly it could turn out, you’re playing roulette with your life and anyone else who’s unfortunate enough to be around you when the inevitable lesson is learned.
Good luck and enjoy your car.
Reecepool53 said:
<snip>
So anyway, it's 9.30pm on a Sunday night, the same day I passed my test and I've told my mum I'm going for a light spin round town. I'm currently doing 105mph down the A414.
<snip>
My son had the same car, and getting it much past 80 was no mean feat. So 105 mph....So anyway, it's 9.30pm on a Sunday night, the same day I passed my test and I've told my mum I'm going for a light spin round town. I'm currently doing 105mph down the A414.
<snip>
I do remember that the speedo over read by a fair margin - an indicated 30 was about 24mph and an indicated 60 was about 50mph IIRC.
So 105mph? No...
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